#random syrips theory

[syrips]

Do you think all blood tastes the same or maybe Strahd and/or other Ravenloft vampires have preferences?

ooh I LOVE this question! in my opinion and from some sources i love to pull from, i can super excitedly say all blood taste varies!

strahd can taste alcohol, drugs, or stuff that can influence the blood

strahd can taste the flavor/texture/quality of it, which he can use to make educated guesses on their condition/illness/state of health

strahd can gain more/less sustenance from a creature based on their alignment

good alignment creatures (even religious ones) give more sustenance, and more likely to be an addictively delicious flavor

corrupt/dark/undead creatures give less/no sustenance, and may taste like anything from dull to addictive

creatures with high faith/religious influence may have a stronger/'negative' flavor

blood is/can be allergenic

emotion (of the creature and of the drinker) affects the flavor

both creatures have an intimate experience related to the process of it, this intimacy is based on vulnerability, and a sensation of an internally woven connection of your veins/blood/heart to theirs

the deeper the intimacy/willingness of both sides are, the more intense/dangerous/vulnerable it feels for both sides

blood can be stored/saved, but loses its 'freshness'/sustenance due to not inhabiting the creature/'soul' it belonged to

speaking of flavors! its my head canon that...

willing blood tastes sweet with bittersweet/savory undertones (like a nicely prepped filling/satisfactory meal)

unwilling or resistant blood tastes more sweet/savory, more potent (like how we feel for 'junk food')

fear and disgust have 'negative' flavors, such as sour, spicy, bitter flavors (like dirt, black coffee, dark chocolate, spicy food, citric, acidic)

blood from creatures with faith/religious affect can have a 'negative' flavor or undertone, can cause physical burning, numbness, nonlethal but negative physical reactions (spice/peppers, cinnamon powder, bitter medicine)

healthy creatures taste balanced with a blend of flavors (muscled creatures have a hearty, rich flavor; frail creatures have a more simple/less 'seasoned' flavor; creatures' consumption intake influences the taste of their blood)

adrenaline (regardless if excitement or fear) heats up the blood, making it taste more fresh (like microwaving your meal)

the type of creature/species affects the blood, but mostly due to their culture/adaption/diet/consumption accessibility, as well as how their genes/body work with their blood (like a lightweight alcoholic vs a heavyweight alcoholic will taste different, because the heavyweight has genes/evolution that give them higher alcohol tolerance, so more fermented blood)

oh i 100% believe the ravenloft characters definitely do have preferences, based on the people/creatures/personalities they pursue!

[syrips]

Do you think Strahd is a good kisser or is he just a pathetic old man?

HII!!

i legitimately think he's a great kisser, and several reasons for that

dude's whole trope is conquest/hunger (hes gonna conquest that mouth)

he canonically has soft/reddish lips

dude describes the way he sucks blood from the willing, and it is very sensual

dude is. so physically touchstarved. he WILL not only kiss you but probably bite your lip/tongue too just to add in some flavor

his charm. oh god. his charm. not only is it a charm, its a vampire charm, and its THE vampire, strahd, 's charm. imagine how much more intense/sensual/romantic itd be under the effect of his charm. not that he even needs it. holy heck.

his history. sure, it's cheesy for him to say how hes fuqed women and how great he is at sex and stuff. but i think he's being honest with it, especially because we see multiple media/sources of his charm/seduction/charisma/physical abilities from different characters/perspectives

so, imo, he's a great kisser AND a pathetic old man!!

[syrips]

As a teeny-tiny Rahadin simp, who do you think could be his friend? (And if you don't hc him as aroace, what do you think his type could be 🤭)

honestly, i think godfrey gwilym could be his friend. hear me out - hed prob hate the absolute heck out of vladimir horngaard, but he'd be able to relate (and have mutual respect) for godfrey. and if that fails, well, itd be at least in an intimate combat/rival kind of bond

if he's hc'ed as not aroace, i think his type would be. well, this sounds insane, but. ireena. listen. someone else here literally has a rahadin x ireena ship thing in their campaign and LET ME TELL YOU. it makes SO much sense. like. if u think about all the ppl rahadin hates, then you compare it to people rahadin tolerates. rahadin would tolerate ireena. so so well. aaah! it feels forbidden but omg. redeemable rahadin x ireena, OR rahadin with an understanding ireena. oh that sounds so cool-

another one rahadin might fit well with is, listen hear me out. but lydia petrovna. I KNOW. it SOUDNS CRAZY but LISTEN. imagine if rahadin protected her, and she was genuinely happy because of him? imagine if she was with someone who didnt force happiness, and instead accepted the bittersweetness of darkness? idk. i needa see it - nJDANSJdn i think rahadin would do well with a neutral/good/positive/gremlin partner, someone who didnt have to mask around him, even if it's the ugly truth.

ALSO. underrated but. rahadin AND PPL'S PCs. i know. this one seems obvious but let me explain. like. rahadin and a PC just fits so easy together since theyre both similar to the gwilym and 'ppl he tolerates' stuff thing well. i believe if someone was allied to strahd, rahadin would tolerate the PC, ths, making them a potential canditate as well!!

[syrips]

If Strahd was trying to impress u at dinner, what do you think we would serve?

hmm. i think he'd definitely have his servants serve food that related to you as an individual. i feel like he'd want you to know that he knows you. and not just knows you, but know knows you. oh, your favorite sweets is a cherry pie with white chocolate-covered blueberries - with savory poultry seasoned in the same way as prepped by your favorite local cook back home? how did he find out? how did he not only know, but obtain the spices/oils/ingredients? i think hed try to intimidate you with his level of 'people skills'. hed be thorough and try to charm you with his food, either figuratively or literally.

his food would have meaning, and would be both a method of genuine pleasure of expressing his authority, but also of portraying his power within and beyond his own domain.

his food could be collectively impressive, to impress/delight everyone in the party, to be a proper and welcoming host. to lower the tension and make the party's comfort become contagious towards each other. lessen their unease, suspicion, and skepticism.

or, he'd try to single everyone out individually - to make each one feel like they are the only one worth his attention.

for flavor/weight in a 4th wall level, i think id have his food buff the party/players who ate it. something that makes them feel like theres multiple layers to it. maybe an inspiration, a buff, or an effect. it can be positive or negative effects, but just something that makes the player/person have a moment of 'oh. this food is strong.'

or maybe not. just a guess idkfdjndsad

[syrips]

Do you think Strahd and/or the consorts have any perfume preferences?

AAAH I OLVELVELOVE THESE!! ty so much please i hope these never stop!! hehehee!! i kinda decided not to really answer it (or answer it even harder, depending on the perspective), but i decided to make cheesy silly fragrance collection of how i think theyd smell, or what id make based on it! (threw in a cameo just for funsies hehe)

Residents of Ravenloft - Fragrance Collection

Strahd von Zarovich

Balanced blend of cold floral and berry fragrance, with earthy and mature undertones.

Fragrance notes:

iced strawberry

dark cherry

subtle metallic raspberry undertones

cold floral

subtle cool earth undertones

muted leather and musk undertone

Rahadin

Dynamic scent of warm and sharp fragrance, with earthy and leather undertones.

Fragrance notes:

worn leather

unsweetened cinnamon spice

damp woodsy

chilled cucumber

roasted nut undertones

subtle smoked citrus undertones

Anastrasya

Dominant blend of warm berry and floral fragrance, with rich and earthy undertones.

Fragfrance notes:

iced rose

warm strawberry and cherry

warm earthy

caramel apple undertone

subtle metallic raspberry undertones

subtle cold stone undertone

Ludmilla

Balanced blend of cold vanilla and warm floral fragrance, with rich and mint undertones.

cold vanilla bean

cool jasmine

iced honeycomb and soft honeysuckle

semisweet warm cinnamon

subtle metallic raspberry undertones

subtle cool mint undertone

Escher

Dynamic scent of bright and sweet fragrance, with earthy and roasted undertones.

bright floral and fruity

sweet citrus

warm lavender and rose

subtle sweet roasted nuts

subtle cool spring forest undertone

muted coffee undertone

muted iced blueberry undertone

Volenta

Dominant blend of bright and citric fragrance, with berry and youthful undertones.

bright lemon

bright orange blossom

sweet sunflower and lily

semisweet wildberry

sweetened vanilla

subtle licorice undertone

subtle gamey undertone

muted vinegar undertone

[syrips]

Never thought I'd be craving a kiss from Strahd YET HERE WE ARE (what have you doneeee)

Who else do you think is a great kisser in Barovia? Asking for a friend (lies)

omg TYY!! i love these questions HEHEHe

honestly, probably escher. hes also touchstarved but, much more loyal/willing to do anything to please someone if they give him the attention he deserves.

hed be a beautiful mix of masculine and feminine charm, and i imagine he can be more assertive or passive, just to help complement whoever he's kissing. hed also be similar to strahd with the nibbling, but i think escher would be a little more juvenile about it. not as experienced, but clearly was taught by his husband-

escher reminds me of a jack of all trades kind of charmer, while strahd is alot more uh. blunt with his direction. so, escher feels like hed be able to satisfy anyone. only problem is, he's trying to find someone to satisfy him-

also, another great kisser - danika martikov. i dont even need to explain this one. o my lordy lord. pls. i want her to kiss me- 👉🏽👈🏽

i also feel like ezmerelda would be a great kisser. but i feel like shed be alot more freaky about it than a normal kiss for some reason jnsakdn-

[syrips]

We all know that Strahd is posessive over Ireena because of the curse, but how posessive is he about someone else? Like, what's his natural possessiveness level?

oh, i am so glad i have sources for this!! AAH!! 🧡🧡

okay so. he is incredibly possessive, depending on the role he sees for ppl. even though he doesnt say it, his subjects are all his, and anything done against his subjects, he sees as an attack against him personally.

his whole line of 'i am the ancient, i am the land', is both a figurative and literal phrase of 'i am timeless, i am all'. he is saying, if 'you steal something, commit a crime, attack someone else, no matter what time or place, it is towards me, or my land, or my subjects/toys.'

and because of that, he is possessive to everyone, even if he doesnt act on it. if someone attacks his consorts, his allies, his guests, his subjects, his land, it doesnt matter. it is all his. barovia is his. barovia is him, and to defile what is his, without his will, is an attack against him.

if someone is against him, or something he has not claimed yet, he will be adamant about the challenge. it brings him entertainment/obsession to chase after that thrill.

if something/someone that he claims is his, tries to break away, he will also try to put them back into their assigned place

if someone is boring, it is not that they are not his, but rather, they provide no sustenance, no purpose for him, and he simply does not want to bother with their autonomy (or lack of)

in his mind, everything is his. and everything that is not, will soon become.

[syrips]

Well, what about the worst kissers of Barovia then? khGJOSJSKDKDKK :DD

o my god. the WORSt kissers in barovia. o my lordy lord.

vargas vallakovich. oh god. vargas seems like hed give the laziest, unpassionate, just. doesnt even qualify as a kiss. prob just smears his chin/lip on the side. like wtf vargas... oh god imagine when he kisses babies heads for like the baron speeches or whatever. oh god his dry lips help.

doru. listen DORU IM SORRY BUT i just imagine hed sneeze/cough/gag or awkwardly break the kiss from anxiety njakdjsnxdc

viktor vallakovich. so, normally he would be lower on this list but. HIS EYES. I IMAGINE HED KEEP HIS EYES OPEN WHILE NOT MOVING HIS LIPS. VIKTOR TERRIFIES ME IM SORRY

ismark. im putting ismark above ireena on the worst kisser list for one reason. ISMARK thinks he has kiss rizz. i feel it in my bones. he thinks he's the baddest bitch, and he is, the baddest kissing bitch. seriously. maybe im biased. i feel like ismark either is super hot with kisses in some campaigns but he's super rizzless in other campaigns. but when ismark has no rizz, he uh. really has no rizz

volenta. sorry i dont think volenta knows what a kiss is. im pretty sure she unironically tries to bite strahd's mouth off, and luckily strahds into that but im pretty sure he just stopped trying to teach her-

[syrips]

ok so really irrelevant but one thing i noticed is that people mention that gorty is high and mighty and evil guy but how he cant lace his clothes or that he's flawed and pathetic for stuff like that

random syrips theory below spoilers n stuff:

but its my headcanon/theory that gort does this on purpose, or does not care about appearing perfect. if anything, he doesnt want to appear perfect. (this goes back to my other random syrips theory post about how the reason we see him as 'whoretash' is because he's open about his honesty/vulnerabilities when it can benefit him)

but back to the anti-perfection thing - why would him lacing his clothes properly work in his favor? how would he, who witnessed raphael - a devil insecure about appearing flawed in any shape or form.. - how would gort not see the flaws in not having flaws? all it would do is make pretentious leaders or high ranking npcs (and anybody really) see him as snobby, fake, or insecure about his image. but gortash isn't insecure about it - if anything, he weaponizes it or knows how to use it in his favor.

he wants people to see him as a little silly, a little messy, a little human. his lace, to me, reads like a metaphorical and literal message of 'look, my heart is open for you'

he wants to appear more vulnerable to others, to give you the sense of you being in control, because he benefits in your willingness to be civil or interact with him. 'here is my chest - my heart - open and able to be striked at anytime with a weapon. to be unlaced by your hands, to tempt you to fix my clothes. i invite you to look, i invite you to strike, to make the first move.'

he does have flaws, but those are the ones he already prepared for working in his favor - and something as harmless and trivial as 'improper lacing' or 'unkempt hair' makes people drive their attention away from his actual flaws, into gossip or a casual distraction.

he likes to play support on both sides in opposing factions, so that he always ends up on the winning side. and he's simultaneously feeding his enemies his flaws so he can twist it against them

'oh, my clothing isnt put on properly, is my rule so great that you cant help but criticize something so trivial? i am a busy man, afterall, i have more important things to focus on than vanity.'

'oh, silly me, how could i have such a cold, heartless plan if i cant do something as simple as tie my laces? surely youre mistaken'

or the classic, 'why are you looking?' (cue him leading this topic into flirting, embarrassing, or guilting you)

so yea, gort is a whore but not because of his silly laced top, slutty suggestively-questionable gauntlets, messy hair, or heavage, but because he's intentionally doing it to invite you to engage with him. to see him as flawed, to see him as 'humanly average'.

[syrips]

thinking about the poll/post (omg i found it!!) asking about if strahd would be a vampire ascendant and i decided to ramble about it along with other random things because dont mind if i do indulge!! hehe

shoutout to @/thecatslug for inspiring me to colorcode my rambles because oh my god i love colors. also sorry the color code might not make sense its just syrips color coded my brain likes it gfdgdfg

ravenloft / bg3 spoilers below:

so, im not sure if the question meant 'would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant' or if it meant 'could strahd become a vampire ascendant', so i decided ill try to answer this: would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant? sorry if this wasnt the original question i just wanted to ramble honestly

before we get into the fancy nitty gritty stuff, let's take a look at the details of four main things apparently i cant count heh, get it, count? anyways im not fixing that four sorry numbers are hard

Vellioth the Martinet

Baldur's Gate's Master Vampire List

The Black Mass Scroll As A Whole

Cazador and Jander (what?)

Strahd

-----

Vellioth the Martinet

so, random fun theory that no one asked but i just wanna ramble it. did you know that 'vellus' means fleece or wool?

just gonna leave this here. unrelated to anything else btw i just wanna ramble it.

random wiki stuff:

"vellus / villus / veillier = fleece, shaggy tuft hair, wool villi = in france, to watch over martinet = wikipedia: 'in English, the term martinet usually refers not to the whip but to those who might use it: those who demand strict adherence to set rules and mete out punishment for failing to follow them.' vellus hair = 'peach fuzz'"

🩸✨💛 random theory no one asked for 💛✨🩸

vellioth has hair with:

color range: peach (fuzz) to wheat blonde

length: medium to long

type/shape/texture: curly to kinky; 'shaggy/woolly sheep' texture

anyways back to the actual stuff.

... hi.

so! the narrator/cazador describe Vellioth as 'ancient', or at least they call his skull ancient? which is very strange to me for two main reasons. Vellioth isn't old. and i know, 'but syrips, you say everyone isn't old because strahd's a big old dusty super elder!.' and yea. hehe youre right. but for now, just remember this - Vellioth was Baldur Gate's Master Vampire from 1204 DR to 1276 DR. this will be important in a moment, not even because of the age, but because what ill describe below.

-----

Baldur's Gate's Master Vampire List

so. one thing that i see thrown around a bit, is that people may assume that the vampire list left by Lady Incognita is based on birth and death or other stuff, but! i will clarify it a bit:

the title of Master Vampire does not mean the previous one's destruction or death. it only means their defeat upon someone else taking the throne. sure, they may occur at the same time, but one can take over without killing the former.

the master vampire list is a self-proclaiming title, and one that others can attempt to contest

each city/point of interest has their own master vampires fighting in their own little territories. we only see those of baldur's gate. not of waterdeep. not of other towns or cities or locations. if you're feeling the vtm clan vibes/drama, then youre absolutely right! cazador penpalling another master vampire to brag about his master vampire status in baldur's gate is both him bragging and him potentially preparing to claim other places once he ascends

the master vampire title gives no actual vampiric, magical, or physical power. it's an entirely a social construct, in the most literal way possible. it provides social influence, social intimidation, etc. but, it's just like putting on a mundane tiara. grats, i guess.. its shiny at least-

anyways, this stuff is mostly put down just to say - nothing about this "Master Vampire" status is about ascension, power, and/or 'special abilities'. it's a moot point/status. which leads to why the master vampires need other ways to gain power.. which is why.. woah! cool transition to-

-----

The Black Mass Scroll As A Whole

if you got this far then thanks for reading. sit up and hydrate because it's time to talk about the black mass and why you need to be in tip top shape for reading this part. ahem:

the black mass scroll is not just one ritual, it is a collection of Vellioth's schooling, a list of rites/rituals, details of soul, divine (good, neutral, and evil) magic, and the methods of manipulation of the soul, divinity, and magic.

tl;dr - the black mass scroll is a list of lists. a collection of collections. the black mass scroll is.. an archive!

one could say it is massive. heh. anyways yea, the mass is a double meaning - a mass in the ritual sense, but also the meaning of 'a bunch of somethings.'

why is this important though? well. because this black mass has 'all the ways death can be turned to one's advantage or made more interesting', such as 'The Rite of Perfect Slaughter' and the 'Rite of Profane Ascension.'

so, let's talk about the Rite of Perfect Slaughter, which is actually fairly easy - Cazador killed Vellioth in the Rite of Perfect Slaughter. yet, Vellioth, who should be 'dead,' is recalling this. we should note, both of these people are undead. and undead death doesnt always work in the same way as complete removal/destruction. literally look at the other undead/'dead' in bg3 itself. look at those who 'died' in ravenloft. yet, some return, despite being 'killed' in the human perceived way.

either way, all we can confirm, based on this Rite of Perfect Slaughter, is that it removed Vellioth's authority/status as a Master Vampire. that is literally all the information we have right now. anything else is speculation, theory, or even deception by an undead or someone affiliated. which makes me wonder, who came up and formed that name, the "Rite of Perfect Slaughter"? cazador and vellioth both have a distorted view of what 'perfection' means, and we've seen cazador lie/hide information that will work against him. and also, Vellioth was laughing as cazador did the Rite on Vellioth. why didnt cazador and astarion laugh together when astarion performed the Rite of Ascension? because cazador didnt want the rite used on him. i guess the point of all of this is, who originally discovered or created the Rite of Perfect Slaughter? because, we dont know! for all we know, Vellioth couldve wanted to be 'killed' to give his soul to someone else, to preserve his vampirism/unlife or something. afterall, the black mass has 'all the ways death can be turned to one's advantage.' it doesnt say by who benefits from it. but anyways. the origin isnt really relevant for this, i just wanted to point out that these Rites are all a various and mixed collection of times, rituals, affiliations, and intentions - most that we dont even know fully, if at all of who benefits from it. and, considering we dont even know what some mean, or who made them, the original people who discovered them may not even be Cazador or Vellioth.

why? or how?

because, the line Astarion says when he picks up the Black Mass Scroll: "[Cazador] stole everything, even [Vellioth's] precious rules."

it doesnt matter who made the rites, rituals, weird strange description/stuff. all that matters is that Cazador has the entire bundle of stuff that is from previous vampires and creatures. and, the symbolism that Astarion picks it up and takes it, means the collection of potential power - of The Black Mass Scroll - Astarion is the current inheritor of potential power.

-----

Cazador and Jander (what?)

now, reader. you might be like. 'syrips, what does this have to do with if Strahd is considered a vampire ascendant? why is jander being brought in here?? im so confused, just answer the question about strahd!' well, too bad! you gotta wait! into the sealed tomb with leo dilisnya you go!

anyways! what we learned so far (as well as random rambling cuz why not):

cazador literally takes things that aren't his

cazador learned this from 'ancient' vellioth

Vellioth become a master vampire at 1204 DR of baldur's gate

Cazador became one at 1276 DR of baldur's gate

but! let's take a quick look and compare this to our beloved Jander Sunstar's lore:

they are incredibly weak when compared to an already existing Jander and strahd, as Anna has existed on the sword coast beginning around 970 DR

not only does time work differently in barovia, but in Toril / DR time, strahd already exists at this point as The Vampire. he is already the ruler of barovia, as well as the center of attention in the domains of dread

time isnt really important here, but its worth noting this because of Jander. not only did he kill his vampire master (which can be considered a 'vampiric ascension,' as you break the chains and limits of your master and are now free to grow in vampiric abilities), but he literally wielded an ancient and holy relic that vellioth and cazador could not even imagine to do.

and, not only did Jander do that, but he challenged the cause of vampirism and was brought by the mists into barovia. he was a candidate to challenge the master, founder, and origin of vampirism - strahd. Jander had the potential to ascend. to break free from the true master and curse, of The Vampire.

anyways, jander (and astarion) is a great reference character for vampire ability when comparing vellioth and cazador to jander/strahd.

but yea. tl;dr - jander makes vellioth and cazador look really pathetic. like baby levels pathetic. vampire ascension is about going 'backwards/upwards' on the vampiric bloodline tree, gaining your agency back so that you can climb up the ranks to more 'potent/ancient' generations. basically, it's about being free to go as far/deep as you can attempt. ascension is not about 'the removal of weaknesses', it's about 'the reduction of vampiric inferiority'. and, being unable to be in the sun is not of inferiority. they can go in the sun, but it will hurt. what one cannot do without suffering, teamwork, pacts, and/or luck, however, is breaking their seal on the master they're forced to be inferior to. even in the cazador fight, the only thing that saved astarion was literally the tadpole helping to reduce his inferiority with cazador. on a side note, vellioth laughing at cazador during the rite of perfect slaughter makes me believe that vellioth benefitted and only caused cazador to descend deeper, instead of ascend.

anyways. back to cazador. the only way that he can reduce the vampiric inferiority (as well as ascend himself) is for him to confront more and more ancient vampires, you know. like what jander attempted. but, cazador doesnt want to do that. instead, he works with an archdevil to attempt a cheap temporary bandaid/loophole around the wrong problem. instead of focusing on his own inferiority complex heh pun intended, he focuses on how to get a tan and how to be less thirsty..? like. what? either he has no idea what hes doing, or he believes removing all weaknesses and flaws will make him a more perfect vampire. what a silly head.

anyways. the rite of 'ascension.'

yea, let's go into that!

what is the Rite of Ascension??

here you go, reader!

---

🎇🩸🏹 The Rite of Profane Ascension 🏹🩸🎇

Oh, piteous dead! Oh, ravenous dead!

syrips translator: oh pathetic hungry un/dead people!

Immortality is your gift, but darkness is your prison and hunger its gaoler.

syrips translator: you can't be out in the (sun)light, and your hunger imprisons you because youre in denial of how to manage your vampirism.

The Rite of Profane Ascension will release you. Walk in the sun. Suffer not from hunger. Grow your power beyond anything you imagined.

syrips translator: with just 7 payments of 999.99 souls, you too can remove the ailments of sun allergies and midnight cravings! call now to receive your 'ascension' kit!

A pact has been made with the Lord of Hellfire. Deliver unto him seven thousand souls, each bearing an Infernal mark, and you shall be free of your chains. You shall know true power.

syrips translator: -fast disclaimer speak- your sun and anti-hunger status is not actually included or garaunteed. you are agreeing to the terms and conditions that you are only receiving the kit to build and perform the sun and anti-hunger ritual. 'free of your chains' is only used to describe the 'chains of darkness and hunger' and nothing else. purchase not necessary to be 'ascended.' call now and begin your journey!!

Deliver the souls.

syrips translator: i really dont care who gives me the souls. just gimmy. thanks

Speak the words.

syrips translator: okay the actual pact is below. everything else was just to hype you up and was just the advertisement, hehe! anyways. anyone who says the ritual below with the right components is all i care about. because the stuff below is the actual trade. and no, you didnt get scammed. this isn't a vampire ascension, it's just an advertisement targetted towards a vampiric audience. you read the terms and conditions correctly, right? silly guy.

Ecce dominus,

syrips translator: "(google translate) Behold, the Lord" / 'uhh hi -opens trade window-'

Has animas offero in sacrificio,

syrips translator: "(google translate) I offer these souls in sacrifice," / -puts 7k stack of souls in trade window- 'here's the actual trade that you wanted -presses confirm trade-'

Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi.

syrips translator: "(google translate) Now I want the power you promised me." / -presses accept- so this trade goes against the ToS but.. youll give me the power i asked for, right?... oh thank god i was so afraid. illegal ingame-to-irl-currency trades are so scary.. thank god, or thank meph in this case haha get it- oh okay im leaving.. s-sorry.. thanks..-

-----

Strahd

wooo hooo! we made it back to the original question!! we did it!!

now, lettuce answer this question that we we've been waiting on for so long. i dont want to leaf you hanging.

would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant?

big drum roll! bhrrrbhrbrhbhrr!!

-cough-

..

no.

...

-leaves-

-returns-

okay so. why isnt strahd considered a vampy ascendant?

well, before we talk about that. let's consider what a 'vampire ascendant' is considered, by Vellioth, Cazador, and the Rite of Profane Ascension's terms:

an 'ascended vampire' is just one who has the ailments of sunlight and hunger removed by the process of this specific ritual. remember that line i said of a Master Vampire being a moot point? well.. to burst the blood bubble, the "Ascended Vampire" line isnt a literal 'vampire ascension'. it's also a moot point, in its own way. but not as mooty, it's more of like a half-truth. like something an archdevil would do to tempt someone into doing something for a small dose of infernal - not raw vampiric - power in return. take note that nowhere in the actual ritual lines does it talk about ascension, let alone vampiric ascension. all it talks about is to say the words 'you made a promise.. i hope you keep it..pls gimmy Infernal powers..'

you know how raphael is making a deal with you and how off it feels? that's because youre not ascending when he mutes your tadpole. he's just using his abilities to manipulate/mold something in you with his powers. that's how this ritual also is. it's just a half-truth, unempathetic advertisement, masked as a pact so that the one who does it feels satisfied, despite the archdevil just receiving much more power than the one who sacrificed all the souls.

but, let's say this ritual is legitimate, and one does 'ascend' by the archdevil's abilities to remove the ailments. so, they are technically 'rising,' in a way. they are becoming a 'stronger infernal-gifted vampire' because of less weaknesses. but, what are they trying to ascend to? what is the purpose of removing all of these weaknesses? why go through all of this?

because. they hunger. they want power. they want true immortality. they want to remove all weaknesses in mortal life and immortal unlife to have free agency, without inferiority to anything. they want to be able to transcend time, space, and death, to be on a level of the highest peak of vampirism.

and, of course. who would that be? who would be the most ancient, powerful vampire, cursed and imprisoned by their own success in achieving what other vampires can only dream of?

who was imprisoned not from failure, but from succeeding too well that something else had to intervene?

anyways, as much as i love stroking strahd's ego LOl i keep going tho, his novel-canon potential is severely higher than the CoS potential. but, through all the modules, novels, and other media, it's still heavily implied that strahd's major weakness is tatyana. if he had tatyana, or felt he was losing the chance to pursue her, if he lost this weakness, he would unironically be scarily unstoppable. the only thing stopping strahd from being a huge dictator or even more power-hungry tyrant is literally because of his obsession/'curse' with wanting to have a bae. which i find very hilarious but focus syrips that part isnt the point-

anyways. tl;dr - strahd has nothing to ascend to. he has no vampire that he's inferior to. if anything, he wants to descend. he wants to be 'less' of what he is now, to be with tatyana. or, to ascend tatyana to his vampiric level. it's his entire curse. and, because of this, he also cannot descend. if he does, he will either lose himself, or he will lose tatyana. and he will not dare to risk that.

he also has nothing that he has or can ascend from. he is the 'original'. at most, he just ascended from 'himself.' but, that's not really an ascension more than just a transition. (and, moving from the material plane to the domains of dread kind of shows that he's not really ascending/rising, more than he's just moving into a warped/slanted plane that operates differently in time and space.) and, unlike in the Rite of Profane Ascension, strahd used himself (and everything affiliated to him) as both the component and result, because no other method existed. he is the origin and reason that rites/methods to 'becoming a more powerful vampire' even exist. he's the reason that vampires exist. when strahd says he's the ancient and land, he's not just saying it for the cool monologue phrase even though we all know he totally enjoys saying it everytime. he's also bluntly saying, 'i am the ancient because i, with barovia, transcend time. i am the land because i, with barovia, connect with the domains of dread. and, the domains of dread, connects with all planes. i am beyond 'a vampire.' i, strahd, am the concept and definition of the vampire.'

everything that all vampires do, by definition, are mock versions, mock attempts, and mock methods that strahd has already mastered, influenced others to do, or that he has knowledge/creation of. everything all vampires do, is attempting to do what their masters had done. with every new spawn, they start at the bottom, trying to climb to their master's level. and even more rarely, attempting to climb to their master's master's level. but strahd is at the top of the MLM vampire pyramid. he has no master to climb up the ranks to. he's already the CEO, founder, etc. (idk how business works), he can't out-climb himself. -strahd pompous voice- 'ouhhh.. it's so lonely being at the top, ouhhh..' but anyways, he can ascend or assist others, since he's a patron. but most power-hungry vampires wouldnt want to do that, especially because they're probably trying to climb up just to compete or be on strahd's vampiric level. and yet, asking strahd for ascension is incredibly easy - all it would mean is making an eternal pact to always be subservient and inferior to strahd.. he'd gladly ascend you, you'd have the potential to be superior to all other vampires.. the only one above you would be personally him. and.. suddenly, a deal with an archdevil who doesnt care about the pettiness of vampire superiority, kind of sounds safer in comparison now..-

or idk. i could be wrong. just a ramble i had fun doing. hehe ty for reading

references/sauces:

bg3

bg3 wiki

wikipedia

wiktionary

google translate

ravenloft novels/modules/games/media/editions from like everywhere

[syrips]

i love how ppl are calling argenti wholesome and nice himbo but

literally the entire story so far as been 'i respect your consent but im going go coerce you, pressure you until you give in, ask for your forgiveness instead of your permission, and fight you against your will' while being an erudition (thinking/logic/wit) character who uses his theatrics, instinct, and grace to portray himself as doing so in the name of chivalry, honor, and beauty

hes either manipulative or a fanatic, so honestly hes perfect

[syrips]

okay so who do you think is a BAD kisser (in barovia)

o my god. henrik van der voort. like, i think he's very hot. but. IDK. HIS EYES just. his eyes just make me feel like. i feel like hed randomly mourn/whisper 'just like my ex wife...' if you tried to romance him nJANSJD

[syrips]

okay random syrips theory. i think soren is a cannibal

why is his favorite gift meat, and not weapons, if he enjoys the process??

[syrips]

the fact that cazador has pen pals and there isnt a letter addressed to/from strahd is hilarious to me because in my own head it either means

A. cazador has/did try to communicate with strahd before, but is no longer in contact with him (by either falling out or cazador not wanting to concede to him)

or B, which i think is funnier - cazador does not want to work with strahd, at all

[syrips]

What are your fave canon-divergent Strahd headcanons? And/or what lore changes has a DM made in your CoS campaign that you really liked?

ooh ty for the ask! 🧡🧡

im not sure if my stuff is canon-divergent or compliant because its a mix of potential-canon or random things that could be explained with lore but either way!!-

obviously potential spoilers and l o n g !

thank you for the ask, i kinda rambled but i enjoyed writing it all hehee; i swear these are my favs, didnt realize i have so many

headcanonish list and cos dm list below:

Headcanon-ish(?) list in no specific order:

strahd can invent, alternate, or customize spells

strahd passively charms people (requiring a DC save) without realizing it

strahd 4th wall breaks constantly; anything the DM knows, strahd knows

alek gwilym was the first sacrifice in strahd's ritual, not tatyana or sergei

during the ritual, alek, sergei, and tatyana's physical bodies were all taken by the mists; they can/have reincarnated many times, similar to tatyana, but are usually lost/unaware because strahd only focuses on tatyana

strahd genuinely wants a family, but attempts in desperately unhinged ways (necromancy/kidnapping/adopting)

good-aligned strahd exists, because evil-aligned tatyanas also exist

strahd's tome/i, strahd books have an unintentional charm on the reader (in an in-game sense)

all visual depictions/art/portrayals of strahd are legitimate (in an in-game sense), we just view strahd differently, and draw/see him in our perspective

all versions/campaigns of strahd are canonical, because strahd's soul also got split with tatyana's, albeit in a different 4th wall way

strahd's birthday is in june

strahd was/is neurodivergent

strahd has empathy/sympathy and suffers from his actions, yet is torn between his desires, passion, and desperation

strahd does love, but he views 'love' as synonymous with 'passion'; in his eyes, his actions are justified because the more intense/passionate he is, the more he is expressing his love

alek, sergei, and tatyana all love strahd (in the 'normal' way), but are unable to fully understand how his mind/brain works

alek, rahadin, and strahd's consorts/partners are ones closest to understanding/loving strahd

strahd converting the consorts to vampires allow them to experience love in the same way strahd does - as passion; this is also why he is so adamant in wanting to convert tatyana or just try to help her understand in his bizarre ways

rahadin existed pre-vampire strahd, but strahd wrote about alek because he was closer to alek than rahadin

strahd's father was abusive/strict to strahd; strahd is attracted to people who act opposite to his father

~~~~~

CoS/DM list (im the DM but some of these i love when other DMs do too):

everyone strahd pursues, romances, or charms are adults

for pcs, all (good/neutral/evil) npcs are romanceable without the consequence of death

campaign's 'soft cap' is 20, with boons

strahd's abilities/CR level up with the party

Vampyr is a legitimate entity/creature, that can be fought or haggled with

you do not need to kill/defeat strahd to 'beat' CoS; 'beating' CoS just means making it out of barovia or 'unlocking' access to enter other domains

can communicate/interact with other domains/darklords via spells/magic items

classic DM move of 'tome of strahd is DMified i, strahd 1 and/or 2'

players can play multiple PCs, but only one PC is able to interact in combat (unless a player is missing/unable to make the session)

classic DM move of tatyana PCs

(my favorite one:) CoS+, aka repeatable CoS games where we develop the story/lore/events based on previous CoS games (although its not really just CoS anymore but ravenloft campaigns)

[syrips]

Do you headcanon Strahd as cis man or what kind of gender fuckery (/pos ofc) is he?

ooh! i love this question ty!!

honestly. vampires are such a cool topic because in media they can be 'born' (or unborn??) as trans. which is like. really fun and funny to me. unlike other creatures, they RELY on another creature to be 'born' off of. so, in a way, all vampires are either ALL trans, (like in a transhumanism but vampires) kinda way, OR. they're all cis (in that their version of cis is OUR version of trans)

i have no idea if that makes sense, but in dnd (or ravenloft mostly), vampires can literally shapeshift, and that is 'cis' for them. some of them require more blood or power to do more vampire cool things, so is blood like their gender affirming care?. or are they cis because blood to them is like water to us, and taking their sustenance is just them growing into what they already are? (aka vampires)

its my own cheesy headcanon that, to humans, vampires are all trans, due to literally the converting/transition process. but to vampires, all vampires see themselves as 'cis', because they were 'physically assigned at their (un)birth that way', and they dont really need outer intervention/support to be any gender they want?

of course, vampires dont really SEEM trans because some may just. keep their gender expression from when they were humans. but, some nonbinary humans also dont change their gender expression when they were 'cis' either. idk. it's a super fun concept to me.

idk. maybe this topic is enjoyable to me cuz im genderfluid, and the freedom/nonchalantness of being able to just. exist without a label feels very vampire gender to me. maybe their gender is 'vampire' nfjsdkjfnd.

BUT ANYWAYS. to bring it back to strahd. here's the funny part. strahd, being the 'the first vampire', is he technically trans or cis, because he is both the invention, and transition, of a new thing. or, is he secretly a new, third gender??

ok but seriously, i headcanon him as trans (like an eve in a vampire adam and eve kinda way). or like both the chicken AND the egg kinda way. he kind of reminds me of an intersex genderfluid person who, saying theyre trans OR cis are both true. but funnily enough, the problem isnt really for the changing/'converting' purposes, but because people ASSIGNED his gender and species at birth as a human man. not his fault everyone was wrong. assigned human at birth is the biggest mistake his father did and honestly good for strahd for correcting that!!

so yea huge tl;dr - i headcanon strahd as trans cuz he was not assigned vampire at birth (or WAS he?) even tho that hairline clearly was there the entire time staring those humans all in the face. i think he's both, but from a human POV he's trans. and a vampy POV he's 'cis', in a 'trans at birth' kinda way. did that make any sense? probably not, cuz it twists my brain up for me too! but honestly i think that perfectly encapsulates strahd's gender!!

actual tl;dr - his gender is Gender Fuckery.