#realistically speaking she will not throw rocks. she will definitely blast some fire though

[be-bi-do-crime]

thinking of post-canon xiao lanhua going batshit crazy feral full xishan shennü rage at some people that made the poor mistake to hurt her husband…

[alliswell21]

Avengerlark, Assemble!

Here is my first try at this... I know it’s not my best, and it’s actually kinda short. This first one is dedicated to @dandeliononfire, since it’s her brain child. While I do have a backstory for K & P, If anyone is interested in more, please, by all means, send in a request/prompt and I’ll try to work with it.

Unbetaed.

Enjoy.

🕷 🕷 🕷

“Heads up!” A whole car wheezes by on my right, just as the shiny flash of metal zooms past me propelled by hand and feet jets.

“Hey!” I call out in aggravation and leap in the opposite direction, shooting strand after strand of web compound out of my wrists. The Kia is still descending straight to a store front, so I start weaving a sturdy web in front of the falling vehicle.

Then out of nowhere, a huge shadow looms on top of me. I only have time to look up and hug the nearest wall before She-hulk crashes on top of the flying car with a mighty roar, pancaking the frame to the concrete directly below.

I moan frustrated.

“In coming meteor!” A male voice snaps in my suit’s com.

I start running across the wall, slinging a web and leaping upwards.

“Where are you going, webs? Get the civilians in the ground!”

“There’s nobody down there!” I yell back. “I’ve looked and there isn’t anyone on the street!”

Iron Girl’s furious growl comes through the com.

“Guys, the sky is falling! Take cover!” Hawkeye calls out just as the first ball of fire descends.

“Smash!” She-hulk punches the fireball, pretty much the same way she did with the flying car, except this time, the object ping pongs against the ground and everything it touches catches on fire.

A second and third flaming rock hit earth. The computer sirens come up into everyone’s earpieces, “Warning, warning. Imminent failure.”

“Move it, move it, move it!” Screams the Iron girl jettisoning in between meteor fragments, blasting everything in her path, but the debris is falling to fast, too close. Unnatural in my opinion.

“Warning, Warning. Failure imminent.”

“Huge bogey approaching.”

“Warning, Warning—“

“Everyone, run for cover. We can’t fight a rock that sized!” I call out, navigating myself around the chaos.

“Prepare for impact, in three, two, one—“

A volley of arrows pierce the already deflated tires of the Kia She-hulk smashed a minute ago and the whole background glitches twice, before the blue lights of the training center flicker back to life all around us. A whirring sound coming from the vaulted ceiling signals the hologram machines shutting off for the day, and soon after, a chorus of tired, painful groans echo in the cavernous room.

Only the flattened car and a few other big objects, like a dumpster and a few light poles remain.

“Ugh! That was awful.” Says Gale Hawthorne, landing awkwardly in front of me. He scowls at his crossbow, pulling at the string like he’s afraid it got damaged with the few arrows he just shot into the useless rubber of the car.

Congratulations Hawkeye, you just killed an inanimate object. The thought comes into my mind unbidden, so I force my eyes elsewhere before the words escape my mouth. Too bad my eyes turn to the exact spot Iron Girl touches ground.

I’m not as quick averting my gaze this time.

“It wouldn’t have been as bad if everyone had been in position!” She bites, flicking both hands at the same time; the Iron suit opens up down the middle, panels of shiny gold and green armor recede and fold back until only the back of the suit stands, and Katniss Everdeen’s slim, strong, and perfectly sculpted right leg steps out of her encasing. The rest of her body follows, and I have to groan internally, because she’s wearing those biking shorts again, the ones that mold to her tight, little behind like a second skin and leaves nothing to my imagination. Her sports tank top doesn’t help either.

I tear my mask off before I suffocate panting like I just ran a marathon in it.

“Everyone was in position, Catnip. Even Johanna was in position for once!” Grunts Hawkeye.

“She-hulk did good!” Responds the big, green girl, otherwise known as Johanna Mason, the She-hulk.

“I built a net for that car!” I exclaim exasperated. “Do you guys know how much wasted web material that is? It takes three days to gather ingredients, make, and package one tiny vial of web! Can we not waste it?” I grumble.

“Spider-lad sad!” Says She-hulk mockingly.

“Spider-MAN, thank you very much, Johanna. And I’m not sad, I’m aggravated about the fact that perfectly good spiderweb went to waste.”

“She-hulk sleep hammock!” Jo gives a hulking chuckle before jumping on my beautiful net, like it's indeed a hammock.

Only, she gets stuck and starts roaring angrily, kicking her massive legs and punching the air with her humongous fists, until finally the threads give and she sags half a foot deeper, but it’s still suspended above the ground, cocooned in my net.

“Stop squirming!” Shouts Gale, aiming an arrow at my web and efficiently cutting Johanna out of the mess.

I groan again. It’s helpless.

“Enough!” Calls Katniss cracking her knuckles. “This exercise was a disaster! Nobody responded the way they were supposed to. The execution was sloppy and loose. We looked like a bunch of amateurs!” She snaps, “How can we defend Earth from threats if we can’t even manage a measly simulation?”

“The simulation was faulty.” I say, “There were no civilians in the ground, the meteor shower was coming in too tight and fast, not to mention too big a chunks of it. Plus the reaction to the one punch from Jo was totally wrong, it defied laws of physics.”

Her flaming gray eyes turn to look at me, there’s anger in her gaze when we lock eyes. “You weren’t in your spot! Why did you move?”

“Katniss, the buildings were holographic, in case you forgot. I situated myself as close to my mark as I could. I can’t magically cling to holograms, you know. And throwing that car my way in retaliation is not very heroic either. You’re lucky my spidy senses tingled a second before that Kia flew past me, Iron Kat, otherwise I’d be a windshield splatter. Your warning skills could use some improvement!” I respond in kind.

Katniss’ face flush with renewed anger. I can see her biting the inside of her lip as her scowl deepens. She’s formulating her comeback, but Gale beats her to it.

“Give it a rest, Catnip. The Web Slinger is right. We can’t always have a neat formation during practice. Is just not realistic. If an enemy attacks Earth, it won’t wait until we’re all set in our designated areas, camera ready. If you want to have a real fighting chance, you need to learn to plan on the fly.”

“Fine! If you’re so awesome at improvising, then you have point tomorrow! I’m going to shower before our call with Ms. Potts.” Katniss stalks out of the training center, and Gale and I stand there watching her perfect ass walk away from us.

At least, I am.

Gale’s her second cousin though, so I guess he wouldn’t be looking at her romp the same way I am; which embarrases me right away, because I’m supposed to be annoyed with her, in a professional matter, instead I’m admiring her retreating form like some kind of pervert.

“She-hulk hungry!” Says Johanna stepping between me and Gale, jogging after Katniss.

“Did you think Catnip noticed Jo’s not wearing a shirt?” Asks Gale staring at Johanna with both fascination and revulsion.

“Dunno. But I’m sure she will once she’s showing Pepper Potts the replay video of today’s exercise.”

“She’s gonna be mad.”

“She sure will.”

“I’m glad she’s your girl and not mine,” Gale gives me a glance out of the corner of his eye. “You deal with your angry bobcat of a girl.”

I scratch the back of my neck, feeling anxious. “Um… you know about us?” I cringe.

Gale rolls his eyes and steps away from me. “Peeta, she came down to breakfast two days ago wearing the top of the pajama set Effie Trinket gave you for Christmas… while you wore the bottoms.” He turned sideways to level me with a pointed look, then kept on walking away while speaking. “Neither of you are very slick, my man. I would warn you to keep your sticky limbs away from Katniss, but she’s been more cheery since you two started sneaking around. If this practice had happened two months ago, Miss Iron Maiden would’ve force us to repeat the simulation until everything fell the exact way she envisioned it.

“No, she’s definitely more laid back since jumping your arachnid bones. Heck! I even saw her smiling yesterday. You know the last time I saw her smile? It was a while ago. So, from fellow teammate to teammate, you keep her happy, Peeta Mellark, whatever it is you do in that cave of yours, keep her happy. And I’ll keep pretending I don’t know what you’re up to with my baby cousin.”

Gale disappears down the hallway, making me feel like a total idiot.

“I make her smile?” The thought makes me ridiculously happy. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’m merrily swinging on my webs from wall to wall through Avengers tower to my room; a stupid smile splitting my face in two.

I make Iron Kat smile! F yeah, I’m the man!