Tumgik
About
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
Tumblr is used by 21% of adults online aged 18-29 years.
#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk
thebleedingeffect
·
27 days
Text
.
#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere
#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions
#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so
#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself
#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral
#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me
#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared
#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her
#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else
#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult
#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side
#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side
#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences
#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control
#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk
#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe
#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough
#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike
#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends
#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting
#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side
#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.
#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
onlyfanscortana
OnlyFansCortana.
boldlygreatsuit
❤️🔥❤️🔥❣️❤️🔥❤️🔥
zaun-s
Traveling Vigilante
globalcitizenshipadvisor-blog
Global Citizenship Advisor
uwteam
unknowNews