#remember kids. good oral hygiene is important before and after shenanigans.
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#storytime sexcapades#tag talk#sucked dick too hard. tonsillitis. I got it looked at and I'm already over the rough patch so it's all fine#remember kids. good oral hygiene is important before and after shenanigans.#also my sleep has been absolute shit and the day before it flaired up I'd stayed up for two days straight#tanking your immune system is a little rough because it makes it easy for your body to die#turns out not eating enough. not sleeping with. and then overexerting your body is bad for your body infrastructure#my neck muscles are so sore. but I managed to adjust my blankets so that I didn't sweat too much when the fever broke#ngl as long as it's not stomach sick I kinda like feeling sick. like. very strong and compelling physical sensation. it's a sensory thing.#just lying down and feeling the waves of sensation wash from the base of your neck down your throat to your core.#there's something about letting the pain circle around your joints before stretching it out.#I missed my calling as one of this funky devotees of brother flesh and brother bone in The Silt Verses.#taking on someone else's afflictions just has such a wild vibe to it. something about it feels so right.#I get that fetishizing self sacrifice and martyrdom is a very toxic christian thing thing to do. but there's some validity to it I think#like. the idea of willingly taking on someone else's pain. it's a classically emotionally immature thing to do. but informed consent tho.#like. you can't take on everyone's burden. but you can choose to carry someone else's pain if you know what you're doing#we do it for our friends. sometimes for our family. I think if you know what you're doing self sacrifice should be allowed.#pressuring people into self sacrifice is entirely shitty and I think that's the behavior policing that's the toxic bit of Christianity#but being in a space where you can see what someone is fighting and you're able to choose to fight it for them.#anyway. something spiritual about being physically unwell#yesterday evening when it was hitting the hardest I grabbed a blanket and lay out on the lawn under the trees and just chilled. it was nice#I almost fell asleep it was so calming to hear the wind through the leaves#also. every time my body experiences a little too much trauma something inside just.. bleeds. very dark red urine. it's annoying#when I got my covid vaccine and my body decided to self destruct it was dark red for a whole week.#and sometimes if I exercise too hard it'll also just decide to kill me.#anyway. weird body things#I also ate too much bread a few days ago and my gluten sensitivity flaired up as well so that probably didn't help any.#I can handle two bagels. but three is too many. four pizza slices but not five.
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