#reminder that this blog stans spop and is pro-catradora

[musical-chick-13]

Can’t believe I’m about to make a She-Ra post in the year of our lord 2021, but here we are because y’all keep taking things out of context.

So, basically, I’ve seen a lot of backlash against making Catradora canon because Catra Bad, and I just wanted to talk about why, as a wlw, this didn’t bother me.

Firstly, Noelle Stevenson has talked in the past about how a lot of the more definitive gay content had to be censored or obscured in the earlier seasons. Nonetheless, it seemed clear to me that there was meant to be a romantic undercurrent to this relationship from the very beginning. There was...basically the entirety of the Princess Prom episode, but primarily it was the fact that Catra took Adora’s defection so personally. Not that people can’t feel extreme levels of betrayal toward their friends, but there’s a specific kind of anger and confusion and self-destruction that comes when you’re a woman in love with another woman and don’t know how to express it, even more so when you’re already close friends with said woman, and especially when you’re dealing with trauma or general other stuff going on in your brain. (Obviously this is not the case for every wlw, but I have definitely felt it, uh...a lot.) I think Catra exemplifies this specific feeling very well and always has. That’s point one in She-Ra’s favor.

The second point is that when you love someone (in any way), you want them to be on the same side as you. Adora thought they were on the same side for most of her life. And because of the love that had once existed between them (that she probably wasn’t aware enough of to properly define), she kept desperately hoping that they could reach that again. They had worked together before; she saw no reason why they couldn’t continue to do so. Catra just had to defect, too. But through it all, she never tries to say that Catra is right, or that no effort should be made to stop the bad things she’s doing. And when Catra eventually goes full-on destruction mode, Adora gives up on that hope. When Catra switches sides, Adora’s acceptance of her reads less to me like too-hasty forgiveness and more like a complete relief that she was right, that Catra still had the capability to do the right thing and that they could, in fact, find common ground again. And, likely, that she doesn’t have to feel guilty for having feelings for someone on the opposite side anymore.

The third point is that after Catra has switched sides, she doesn’t feel entitled to Adora reciprocating her feelings. In fact, she’s 100% convinced that Adora doesn’t feel the same way, so that thought never even crosses her mind. But she still makes an effort anyway. She’s not trying to be good so Adora will date her. And she’s not trying to guild Adora into a romantic relationship. Adora realizes her feelings all by herself.

And the last and final point is that there’s just so much pain in their relationship. And, well...being a wlw for me has been painful. Obviously we live in the real world where there’s still a stigmatization against anyone belonging to the LGBT+ community, and not on Etheria where that doesn’t seem to be an issue. But...there have been a lot of people who never understood my feelings for other women. There have been a lot of people who told me they believed people like me were shameful. A lot of my life has been hiding a big part of who I am because I went to a small school and lived in a religious community and didn’t feel safe. A lot of women I developed feelings for were straight or unaware that they weren’t. Those feelings ruined several important friendships. And having a much smaller dating pool led to a complete lack of a serious romantic relationship, which only served to further alienate me from my peers. And every time I meet or work with a new person, or want to ask a woman out, I have to agonize over that decision for who-knows-how-long to determine whether or not it’s safe or if the risk is worth it. I love being a wlw. So much. But my whole entire experience in being one has been inextricably riddled with pain. The amount of angst between Catra and Adora and the amount of obstacles they had to overcome in order to realize, declare, and act on their feelings reflects that pain in a way that few other works I’ve seen have. And most of those works ended up with the couple breaking up, one or both of them marrying someone they don’t love, and/or one or both of them dying. There is hope in this relationship. But it didn’t come easy. And here in the real world, there are a lot of things about being a wlw that aren’t easy.

People are, of course, going to think whatever they think about the show. I’m probably not going to change anyone’s mind by writing an essay that will maybe reach, like...50 people. It’s perfectly okay if you didn’t get what I and many others did from this show. But I just wanted to maybe offer another perspective (one that I haven’t really seen anyone talk about). Mainly because I’m tired of hearing that “the show was just bad writing” or “they pandered to the fans” or “wow wlw are so desperate for representation they’ll lose sight of sensible narratives and become villain apologists.” As I’ve said before, representation means different things to different people. And different people are going to get different levels and kinds of affirmation from different kinds of experiences depicted onscreen or in literature. It doesn’t mean they’re “bad” sapphics (or any other marginalized/underrepresented identity). We all have different things to work through; it makes sense that we have different ways of doing that successfully.