#reporterheadcanon

[rosetintedgunman]

Yan gifted Wilf an otamatone.

This is now going to be everyone's problem. It's keeping him company in the Roller's bar.

Its name is Milford.

[rosetintedgunman]

There's heavy rain outside, it is 3 in the morning, and I'm back to work on Wilf's side of the bio (I am scared to put it into a separate doc to look at word/page counts). I realise there's something that could be of use when thinking about how my version of him has developed over the years.

In brief, while he is a comic relief character, you should also take into account that he would fit nicely in the character type of the Fool - especially how they are seen in S.hakespearian plays. In particular, I think he would be along the lines of P.uck or L.ear's Fool. M.ercutio is also an influence, though he doesn't fit into this particular character type.

He's silly and goofy, and great for comic relief, but he's also one of the most observant characters... even if he chooses to express this in ridiculous manners. In one way, it is a nice way for him to be after all the tragedy and pain he has been through - both in canon and in the WIP, blog-exclusive lore.

[rosetintedgunman]

Fun fact! Wilf's legal name isn't Wilford Motherloving Warfstache! It's not William J Barnum either.

It's actually Wilson Jackson Bartholomew (the third). The 'third' because this is the second time he's used it (the last time was 'the second'). The case file on this name that Abe lifted was actually for Wilford himself.

(Bear with me. This will make sense soon.)

One of his most prominent "in between" lives was by the name of Wilson Jackson, or just 'Jack' for short. He married into the Bartholomew family, thus earning that as his surname. This particular life is as important as Will and Wilf for two distinct reasons:

1. It was the only one of the 'in-between lives' (of which there are four key ones and countless others in a blur) that actually had him live a normal life rather than one where he was despised to some extent.

2. It's the first life where he was able to choose his name. More importantly, it's the only alias he has where he didn't go by a "W" name. It's the first time the trend was officially broken.

If you notice Wilford getting a glimpse of a memory, but it doesn't match up with anything that would make sense for the Colonel... Chances are it was for Jack.

If you check who owns the Roller, it's legally under Wilson J Bartholomew III. Not only that, 'Wilson Jackson' is the name he defaults to while hiding in plain sight on the Invincible II. He pretends to be a janitor that everyone forgot about, and tugs his hair and moustache so they both turn black and draw a little less attention to him.

-

So, to quickly recap:

Wilson J Bartholomew I (ie 'Jack') is the 'life' where this name was first used. Wilson J Bartholomew II (ie 'Barty') is an alias that Wilf picked up when starting to grow wise to what was going on around him. Wilson J Bartholomew III (ie 'Wilson') is him officially taking on the name and using it for legal purposes (mainly because his employer at the nameless bar that Abe eventually find him at told him that the name Wilf was using on a day-to-day basis was one that no lawyer or cop would ever believe).

[rosetintedgunman]

instructions: write down five things your muse can’t do and five things they can.

tagged by: Me! I did this back in 2018 and I wanna see if I can improve on it. No angst this time!

tagging: Everyone! Pick one muse! Repost, don't reblog!

CAN’T

Drive

Sing

Tie a tie

Remember new names

Play soccer

CAN

Make a variety of drinks

Tell every Jim apart

Do makeup

Fix an electrical socket (with only minor zaps)

Dance

—

CAN’T

Draw

Knit

Sing

Solve a crossword

Have a proper day off

CAN

Sew (mainly to fix holes)

Fix an electrical socket (with no zaps)

Understanding the workings of any guns after minimal inspection

Act

Carve

[rosetintedgunman]

OOC: While I think about it (and distract myself from writing the only reply I can muster tonight), I forgot that among other obvious things, there's one big change from Will to Wilf:

Wilf REFUSES to wear his glasses.

He's short-sighted, but he's learned many tactics to help him identify things at a distance. This, somehow, does not affect his aim, and he's terrifyingly accurate.

[rosetintedgunman]

What color do you hc Wilford's hair and mustache as?

Apologies for the delay. I wanted to wait until I had access to colours, so I needed to be back from the holiday.

So. When I normally draw Wilford, I have it that the moustache and his fringe are pink, while the rest of his hair is black (with a reddish/pinkish tint under the right lighting). Like so:

He's very proud of the pink and takes very good care of it. It's not the way it is naturally, not fully. In fact, it ought to be peppered with black strands:

(I compare it to someone with greying hair)

I've written about it before, and I always stuck by the mentality that was used in the D.isney H.ercules movie: because the black strands still exist, the Colonel isn't fully gone. And, in fact, the black has started to creep back in a little more. Wilford is a little frustrated because, as already mentioned, he likes the pink and so he's plucking them out every few days.

(Sometimes they can appear when he has a brief sombre moment, but they fade back to pink afterward)

There is a fun ability he can do that I don't play with all that much, and that is the ability to turn the fringe and moustache BLACK. If he tugs sharply on the ends of them, the colour ripples like someone has brushed their hand over a colour-changing sequin pillow. This is an attempt to show it:

The colour starts at the roots and ripples outward. If he forgets to do it again to flip it back to normal, the pink will start to reappear, but only as it would in S.pace. In other words, the tip of the moustache takes the pink, and nothing else. He doesn't mind this look, and has been known to sometimes switch to that. (The pink and the black are separate so it's fine. He doesn't need to pluck the black out of the pink!)

One other thing to note is that when everything is fully black he still has curls, but they're not as bouncy as they normally would be, as it was in W.MLW, but it's still rather dashing on him.

[rosetintedgunman]

Something I've noticed over time.

The more Wilford works on finding that sense of middle ground with who he is, the less he's actively seeking out dates or anything. He used to be very good at pointing to people at the dash and saying "that one", and now he doesn't.

It's funny, in a way, that one of characters most filled with love isn't looking for it anymore.

Is it a case of he's busy practising self-care, or is it slowly realising he'll never have the woman he first fell for again? And even if he did find her, he's changed far too much to be who she would remember, assuming he even recognises her? The world may never know.

[rosetintedgunman]

"Th' Roller's true location? It's in our hearts."

"I actually dunno where it is. Cute town-or-city though."

[rosetintedgunman]

Buckle up kiddos. Tonight, I'm going to tell you all about Santa!Wilford (or Wilford Warfclaus, etc). First, I shall bribe you with three doodles to show the differences between how he is normally, how he would look in winter if someone knows the secret, and on Christmas Eve/Day before it all starts reverting back.

No matter how he looks, he's a cutie. Scientific fact.

--

Now, you may be thinking, "Ash, this is a ridiculous idea that isn't relevant at all". I simply shake my head and tell you to pay more attention. At the end of Markiplier TV, Wilford starts performing an improv scat/performance. One of the lines is "I killed Santa Claus [...] No presents for the children of the world". It's a throwaway joke, sure, but I always remembered it. Plus, it's the only rambling about a cultural/historical figure that made it into the final cut (Mark's bloopers make other references to history).

Then, a few years ago, I was watching the S.anta C.lause movie. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. It's silly and wholesome. But the general plot is this: if you kill Santa Claus and put on the coat, the clause comes into play and makes you take over. And you won't believe what Wilford did.

This meant, in this timeline, Wilford ended up with this HUGE responsibility. And he hated it. He ignored it every year until mid-December when he either had a strong instinct pulling him back, or elves literally kidnapped him. He should have been stuck in the North Pole full-time, but his own reality warping powers trumped that. It's also why he doesn't look the part most of the time. There was an upside to all this: Wilford finally was able to start vaguely keeping track of time.

But then… there was one year, fairly recently, where he put out a statement banning the naughty list for that year. He realised everyone was feeling rotten, and it might be nice to have something good to look forward to. That idea placed a tiny gear in his brain.

(It's said that Christmas was the most magical in a long time)

At some point during the following year, the gear clicked, and Wilford realised the responsibility he had. Somehow, despite everything that had happened, all the blood on his hands and madness in his head, he was in charge of something that brought happiness. He decided, for the first time, to make a proper effort. This included helping with the heavy lifting, and also trying to come up with "You Survived the Year" gimmicks for those that didn't believe in him.

This year has been a curious one. He's regaining more of his memories as William, and he's more aware of the present moment than ever before. He's been hopping between the Roller, the Studio, and the North Pole, and you might think this is far too much for one character in one verse…. But that's exactly what William did.

You see, after the war, William hated downtime. He didn't like sitting around, doing nothing, and thinking about everything that happened. He had a bunch of free time in the trenches and it's not a good place to reflect on life. William began keeping himself as busy as possible. When things were good, he was working as Mark's handyman, covering duties in the barracks, and working on renovating the little cottage he was living in. Thus, the idea of juggling several jobs isn't that far fetched to Wilford. In fact, with how he can teleport and take shortcuts, it's easier to manage them all.

So what of others knowing? By default, your character won't know. At the time of writing this, Wilford would have half-white hair and a white beard. However, he can hide these when he isn't in the North Pole, and he'll do so as much as possible. He doesn't understand why he can't tell anyone he wants, but it's a rule that he begrudgingly has to follow. It won't stop him trying to find out what people are hoping for or try to motivate adults to take part again, for instance.

Saying that, he can tell people. If he's dating someone long-term, he has to let them know. They would notice the long disappearances. Anyone associated with Christmas or other Holidays would see through his illusion. If it's someone he absolutely trusts, he might drop a hint, but it would be dependent on the individual. Otherwise, he'll laugh off any suspicion, admitting that his tubby shape gives off that impression.

It is a gimmick, absolutely, but it also plays a part in my interpretation of Wilford. It's helped him keep track of time - since taking on the role, he has barely fallen out of time, compared to constantly doing so beforehand. It's given him connections unrelated to the other Egos, and a chance to interact with others in a strange way. It's allowed him to have somewhere where he can be childish and silly and be encouraged. It's a place where he physically cannot take out his gun without it disappearing in a puff of glitter to be temporarily confiscated. All in all…. It's done him good. And maybe, one day, he'll tell someone because he thinks spending time in a place like the North Pole would do them some good too, but we'll see how things go. And! After a lot of begging he's been given a suit that is a little more pinkish-red than it ought to be!

At the end of the day, Wilford is the first Santa to already have reality warping powers. When everything else in his life fades away, he'll always have the Santa role. He can't stay dead, after all, so the clause would never pass on to another. With that in mind, he'll try and do what he can to bring a bit of joy.

Especially to his friends. He's a little biased.

[rosetintedgunman]

Shush I'm totally asleep but I was just thinking of something I don't think I officially posted here.

Every Captain. Every single one of them. Wilf knows them. He's met each and every one of them. When he talks to a Captain, he knows their encounter, their reaction, their motivation to save the ship, and whatever else he may have gleamed.

Each one of them is a timeline, just like the 'canon' version (AKA the videos). Unless you want it that Wilf has never met them before, you can disregard this encounter and replace it with one a little more familial.

Why, you ask?

Because in the videos, he sees the Captain, but he can see hundreds of ripples and forms sputtering in and out of existence. He had to keep everything neutral to cover as many bases as possible and ensure no one wised up to the fact that he knew more than he lets on. (Which really sucked. He saw some friends among the faces!!)

[rosetintedgunman]

OOC: Can I share I real fun fact with y'all about Wilf's timeline, in terms of the order of his canonical events? It's all still a bit of a WIP (and to be done waaay further down the line), but there is one thing I've decided on:

Space.

For him, Part 1 happens after Part 2.

[rosetintedgunman]

"What made you... open up this place?"

Ace doesn't like talking about himself. He usually lets Wilford do enough talking for the both of them, and then some. But he's come to the conclusion that, if he's going to be a regular at the Roller, he should start trying to be a little more proactive in their exchanges.

It's more productive than staring at a wall in silence all day, anyways.

@the-graves-family

-

Wilford didn't mind that Ace wasn't a very social individual. He had enough sense to know that it wasn't a bad thing that his friend was quiet. Sometimes, it was enough to hope that the silence was a pleasant one. It also meant that, when things were quiet, Wilford could try and do little jobs around the bar. There wasn't anything important that ever needed to be done in a place like this - truly, it was the place of an ideal business in stories! - but glasses did need to be cleaned for later, and the ice cubes needed to be frozen.

Ace's question broke that comfortable silence, not that Wilford minded. If there was an excuse to slack off and chat, he'd take it! The dishcloth was thrown onto his shoulder before he slumped down against the counter, right elbow on the wooden surface to hold his chin in place.

"Y'know, it's a bit of a funny answer." Not that Ace would get the full truth. The young man had enough on his plate without the mention of 'stories'. "This bar was somewhere I used ta go when I, ah, was havin' a bit of a rough time. I'd come here an' dance until I forgot all my worries. An' other things too, 'course," Wilford trailed off with a chuckle, and it was only a moment before he picked up where he left off. "Anyway, Some time back, I noticed some friends of mine were havin' a pretty rough time. An' I was like, 'hey, I know this reaaaal nice place we could go'. But when I got here, it was closed an' forgotten."

("Discarded" would be the correct term, but that wasn't important.)

"Then, I thought it'd be cool ta try an' open it back up, but better. Electric boogaloo 2 it up, y'know? This place... It's a passion project. If we get no one to go through th' doors, that's fine. I'm not countin' pennies. I want th' Roller ta be somewhere people like goin' because it takes ya away from everythin' fer a while, like what it was like fer me. But, see," he glanced aside briefly in thought, "When I was ready ta let loose an' throw it all away, an ol' friend found me an' kept me company. Helped me realise what matters. An'... I wanna do that fer others. Not one of them doctor people, but just... A friendly face. That make sense?"

And he was a friendly face! Murders were way down this quarter! He had almost gotten enough gold stars on his reward chart for Kathyrn to give him his gun back! He wasn't a model citizen like others were, but he was trying to be friendlier and less... shooty.

[rosetintedgunman]

❤ Dating Sim Tropes ❤ REPOST AND FILL IN WITH DETAILS ABOUT YOUR MUSE AS IF THEY WERE A CHARACTER IN A DATING SIM.

NAME: W.ilford Motherloving W.arfstache. He has gone by many other names but I am not bothered listing them right now. :P

THEIR PROFESSION: A man of many talents! He's a reporter, lead trainer for Jim News, the owner and main bartender of the Moonlight Roller, (and secretly S.anta)

FAVOURITE FOOD TYPE: He's got a sweet tooth. However, he isn't a fussy eater. Any meal is a positive in his books. He's also a decent cook, and has a natural strength in cooking hearty dishes like soups and stews thanks to the 'past life'.

FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Cocktails are the best for him! He likes the variety of flavours, and they're so much fun to work with. However, he'll avoid whiskey. Bad things happen when he drinks too much of specifically that.

FAVOURITE TRAIT: He likes someone who is comfortable being themself (it's a factor for friendships too). He's happiest knowing they don't need to pretend to be someone else around him. Over the years, he's had people reveal a whole other side to their personality, and non-humans revealing their monstrous traits. It also helps if they can accept him, flaws and all. He's not as bad as he used to be, but he's still got a ways to go.

(He might have memories of a mysterious dark-haired lady, but it doesn't cloud his judgement or make his expectations impossible. That belongs in a life that isn't his anymore)

WHERE THEY WOULD GO ON A DATE: To no surprise, there's no straight answer for this. One day you'll be learning rollerskating in the Roller, another time you'll be brought clothes shopping. He might even drag you across town to look at this really cool tree that he spotted. Depends on the mood. But do know that he also loves being able to chill out and cuddle up. The man is a living teddy bear when it comes to cuddles. Take advantage of that!

IDEAL GIFT: Photographs! He's better with remembering things, but there's still the chance he'll forget things or lose track of days. Having physical proof that events happened mean a lot to him. Items like letters, postcards, and ornaments can help with this too.

WHEN WILL THEY DRINK ALCOHOL: Here's the reason he favours cocktails - it's so easy to swap it out for something else. He's got far too many memories that he's rather keep buried about alcohol, and it's the thing he's aware could have killed the past life if other things didn't happen. Not to say he won't let himself drink enough to feel a little tipsy buuuut let's just say that when the world is spinning and your ability to travel correctly through doors is skewed, it's really hard to get out of the loop of walking out of a closet and into another closet and into another closet and into a cupboard and into a shed and into a wardrobe.

TAGGED BY: @scriptvoiid

TAGGING: Let's see.... @blackbirdmuses (But! For whoever you have the strongest muse for, regardless of whether they're here or on another blog/site), @videonastycore, @thelightfalls, aaaaaand whoever has sent their character to the Roller >:D

[rosetintedgunman]

OOC: So I'm at a wedding party, and N.ightmare Before C.hristmas is playing on the screen.

Now I'm just sitting here imagining six-foot-three Wilford forgetting that door frames have nothing to do with his reality warping skills and knocking himself out cold by SLAMMING his forehead into a frame for a door that is too short for him while hurrying somewhere.

[rosetintedgunman]

Friendly reminder that Wilf doesn't have any qualifications to do anything he's doing!

William left school at 15 to obtain a worker's permit to train under his father.

Wilf was unofficially trained in reporting, and learned how to be a bartender from all his time club hopping. He may also have cheated a little and tested the restraint of stories to get what he wanted, but that's something he keeps to himself.

[rosetintedgunman]

You might think Wilford is joking when he says he has a reward chart.

It's actually true!

It was a plan put in place by Kathryn and Dante to try and pull Wilford back when he was far more trigger happy. At the time it was used as a threat - you need to get X amounts of stars or something will be taken or denied (For instance: your show will not be recorded, you lose break room candy privileges, etc). Gradually, once they realised the habit was actually starting to change a little, the rewards became something better (movie night being the current goal).

Wilf is completely aware it's ridiculous, but it's nice having something positive to work toward. He's also aware he's in a position where he could kill someone, lie, and get the reward, but he's holding off on that for the moment.