#rhobi: the sitcom

[rhobi]

i recommend people watch movies from other cultures because when i saw a post-war noir crime thriller from japan years ago, there was a short scene of a man crumpled in the dirt, absolutely wailing and inconsolable about the murder of his wife and now i can’t watch any american films where a slightly ruffled, lightly misty eyed man tries to convince you that he’s upset that his wife’s dead

[rhobi]

NO sex NO violence coffee shop au only no drama i can't HANDLE conflict i can't handle drama i can't handle misunderstandings i NEED it to be predictable i need it to be PURE no skin no cleavage no GENITALS it makes me embarrassed to think about genitals the characters must not have a previous history that means they're FAMILY it's FOUND FAMILY it's FOUND FAMILY it's basically incest i'm not a FREAK i am ABOVE freaks no the characters CAN'T have sexual desire they cannot think sexual THOUGHTS about their romantic interest the romantic interest isn't consenting to those thoughts i'm afraid of people hearing MY thoughts i must keep everything clean and tidy i am surrounded by PREDATORS and DEGENERATES and i will be going to the kingdom of heaven BEFORE i die!!!!!!

[rhobi]

got that gene where swelling orchestral arrangements always make me tear up what's up with that

[rhobi]

if anyone thinks i'm ever gonna call dungeon meshi its clunky english title of 'delicious in dungeon' then you best take your business elsewhere, brother

[rhobi]

'wow people seem to think you're very cool and sorta mysterious, i hear a lot of talk from the hot person crowd. what's your secret' oh sure yeah. uhhh well i'm short, fat, and have butch-like charms and people with taste eat that shit up. also i emit a very fine powder every ten to fifteen minutes that's undetectable to the naked eye but if you shine a blacklight on me it's just. it's a mess, man. yeah.

[rhobi]

whenever someone talks about bodily insecurities i almost always go ‘damn i’m sorry you’re goin through that, that’s tough. i wish i had a tail or horns or an extra set of arms, personally’. and nearly every time the person goes ‘you know what yeah that would be pretty dope.’

[rhobi]

i, a lover of monsters, shake hands with furries, my comrades in arms, as we both find the divine in the beastly and know how cool it would be if we had tails

[rhobi]

i got big brained and brought a damn laptop with me into the bathroom for what is now apparently our monthly 'shelter in place there's a fuckin tornado' situation

[rhobi]

ha you can't fool me, dungeon meshi translation errors. if you call a character a 'he' in one chapter then a 'she' in another, they're just both to me now B)

[rhobi]

nothing's a bigger crime to the creative process then being on a roll with a project but then you only have ten minutes before you have to get ready for work

[rhobi]

there's something beautiful in clunker retro-futurism style technology in sci fi, it's all very tacticle. and there's something beautiful about how much 1970s sci fi artists loved to just throw a dinosaur or a wizard or ghosts in there, because rule of cool

[rhobi]

who wants to see my gribble goblin (full sized) plush

[rhobi]

i don't think people get my deep, pervasive distaste of pregnancy because when someone asked if i wanted to see video of an acquaintance's fetus moving around in them i said that sounds like a horror show, i don't want to see none of that poltergeist shit

[rhobi]

invites hot people over to my house to impress them with my 1:20 scale wooden spinosaurus i built with my own two raw, bloodied hands

[rhobi]

referring to senshi's numerous panty shots as 'catching a glimpse of his grundle' and my partner vehemently argued 'no it's NOT his GRUNDLE it's his UNDERCARRIAGE' because he's got underwear on

[rhobi]

today on yugioh: they are closer then brother...........but then they had to fight each other.........