#rwd: uhhh i mean absolutely not gonna happen?? i would TOTALLY win against that beefy hunk of a ma- I MEAN NIE DOG

[big-tiddie-mingjue]

I had the STUPIDEST idea and I have to share it or I will combust.

Ok, so if you haven't seen the comments in NMJ's wiki, I HIGHLY suggest reading them because they're hilarious.

I was thinking of him (as one thirsty bitch with an unquenchable desire for his voluptuous bosom does) and imagined a random disciple that reacts to NMJ like the fandom does. But not just any disciple! A random Wen disciple (or RWD for short).

This random Wen disciple sees NMJ at a discussion one day and it's just heart-eyes. He hears NMJ threaten to beat the shit out of the Wens and he just raises his hand like 'can I go first Mr Chifeng-zun sir please?'

He's always on the verge of being executed because he will not shut up about how hunky NMJ is. WRH will qi deviate if he has to hear about how massive NMJ's thighs are and how he could totally crush a skull between them one more time.

He shows up randomly to Qinghe like 'ahaha, whats up? its ya boi.' and NHS is in Full Suspicion Mode bcus he's afraid they're going to try to kill his da-ge the way they did their dad. So he grills the guy, yknow, thinking he's an assassin and the convo basically goes smth like this:

NHS: What's a Wen doing in Qinghe?

RWD: Oh, nothing much, just sightseeing. (not at all subtly trying to see if NMJ is around, or alt looking at a drawing of NMJ)

NHS, squinting behind his fan: Yeah? Well, don't let Da-ge catch you. He doesn't like Wens sneaking around here.

RWD: For real?

NHS: Oh, yes! He can be ruthless when he's mad.

RWD: Oh no, I sure hope there isn't some giant, beefy Nie sect leader coming to beat my ass :)))

NHS: ...

RWD: So like, on a scale from 1-10, if I sat on his sleeve, how likely would he be to cut it, if yknow what I mean???

NHS: ..are you...did you come here to hit on my brother?

RWD: Maybe. If I were to trip in front of your brother, would he walk all over me like a doormat? Just step right on me?

NHS: ...

RWD: So, is that a yes or--?

NHS: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

NMJ is equal parts confused and aggravated bcus 1) it's a Wen and 2) he's CERTAIN it's some type of ploy. Why else would this random ass Wen just keep randomly showing up and tripping in front of him or dropping shit and taking forever to bend over and get it?