#ryddles

[romanceyourdemons]

i wish i had two bizarre and perhaps steampunk-like devices, one of which brings fictional characters into the real world and the other of which is a time machine. i want to take sun wukong to early 1950s hollywood and encourage him to take the stage name “bonzo.” first of all it would be fun to see him drunk on hollywood stardom. but more importantly i trust he would succeed where that other chimpanzee failed

[romanceyourdemons]

infernal affairs (2002) is a film that tests the limits of how homoerotic a relationship two men can have without actually learning the other exists, which is why why they needed to put a Plausible Deniability Chick (not one of the characters) on the american poster

[ID: an american-release poster for infernal affairs (2002). the background is red-tinted with desaturated closeup pictures of andy lau and tony leung chiu-wai, with the title and tagline (“Loyalty. Honor. Betrayal.”) in blocky yellow text. in the center of the poster, between the images of lau and leung, is a full-length shot of a young woman in matching navy-blue cami and short shorts, holding a gun at shoulder level /end ID]

[romanceyourdemons]

fucked up that you can dry and rehydrate mushrooms. i feel like if you tried to dry out a mushroom it would start speaking to you in a tiny human voice offering you three wishes in exchange for a drink of water, and if you gave it the water it would immediately run away on little feet while laughing impishly. and if you refused it would vanish in a sprinkling of tiny lights and a great disaster would soon befall your house or whatever

[romanceyourdemons]

everyone looks at jing beiyuan and zhou zishu’s relationship and feels so jealous they start getting dizzy and seeing stars and meanwhile jing beiyuan and zhou zishu’s favorite thing to do together is play a game called “who can come up with the worst coping mechanism”

[romanceyourdemons]

computer what’s a good way to bum a tampon while masc

[romanceyourdemons]

i think an important point of distinction between nbc hannibal and the other various thomas harris adaptations is that in those previous adaptations the hannibal lecter actors have said yeah he’s a serial killer and he’s fucked in the head, he doesn’t realize what he’s doing is wrong, etc. but while nbc hannibal was in its early stages mads mikkelsen said i’m going to play hannibal as lucifer. the sexy man from the bible. and i think this change is the genesis of the fundamental tonal shift from a fact- and mystery-based story (as in previous adaptations) to an allegory-based one, and why thomas harris’s simultaneous horror of and fascination with transformation reads less as cartoonish trans- and homophobia and more like the tradition of 19th century gothic novels

[romanceyourdemons]

a “moog synthesizer” sounds like a device slightly scuzzy criminals in the star wars universe would use to make blue moonshine. but in fact it’s a pioneering piece of electronic music equipment invented by robert moog

[romanceyourdemons]

one thing about me is i am always down for it when a movie shows an underdog martial artist representing his nation brutally and against the odds beating a parade of evil martial artists representing the various nations that have colonized his

[romanceyourdemons]

(while marrying someone who looks uncannily like [person you very much should not be romantically interested in]) heh heh heh… now no one will be able to say i wanted to marry [person you very much should not be romantically interested in]

[romanceyourdemons]

so much love for characters who are desperately unsure whether they’re a good person, a redeemable person, a person worth saving, but are absolutely certain that they’re a grade a hottie

[romanceyourdemons]

i love when dvd players hold out a little tray and you put the disc on it. it’s like you’re placing it into its little hand. hate the dvd players that make you push the disc into its mouth and then it swallows it obediently

[romanceyourdemons]

animated fantasy films just don’t make fucked up evil castles like they used to

[romanceyourdemons]

i love when settings have a place called Evil City or something and the citizens are all campy villains in flamboyant little outfits. and it’s just a functional city with a mayor and taxes and cafes, it’s just your barista has a giant spider on her head and you’re unsure if it’s a decoration or a pet or if it’s mind controlling her and this very nice cappuccino was made by a telepathic spider

[romanceyourdemons]

i love when a character has something terrible happen to them and as a result they see themself as, essentially if not literally, a ghost. and so that means they only can (and have to) do what ghosts do, ie get revenge and then cease to exist. easy as that. but then halfway through this ghost vengeance they realize hey actually i might still be a human person. with human needs. that’s incredibly inconvenient, considering how much i’ve invested in this whole ghost thing

[romanceyourdemons]

my scholarly physique and delicate constitution are not well-suited to questing, but they keep me around because i’m very good at saying ominous and unsettling things at significant moments

[romanceyourdemons]

i genuinely think we should have more cross-gender acting in film. i think cis female actors should play cis male characters and vice versa without the characters’ masculinity or femininity being a joke and i think this ought to happen enough that it isn’t a big deal at all. cast timothee chalamet as marie antoinette he can pull it off. let gong li play an emperor. this will be good for everyone, especially me