#saeyoung 'i want to leave evidence on you that i existed' choi

[pastelsapphy]

a very important question in the wake of saeyoung's dark chocolate valentines dlc: does the cross necklace stay on during sex?

[lindalevanimamm]

Reality- Chapter 3

I woke up and immediately my head was pounding in pain. I looked over my shoulder to see nothing. No one was there. I frowned. Of course it was all just a dream. He’s not real. How stupid can I get? No, how lonely am I? It felt so real though. I started to tear up. Damn it not now. It was just a dream it’s nothing to cry over. But even in my dreams people still leave me. Why did I wake up expecting Seven to be here? It’s not possible. He’s not real.  I reached to my bedside table and grabbed my phone, desperate for some kind of distraction. I started scrolling through social media, my mind eventually going blank. No breakdowns today. I sighed. Another boring day for me. Thankfully, it’s a Saturday, so I can just do nothing. I don’t even have to leave this bed. After a few hours of mindless scrolling I started to become hungry. I stood up after getting out of bed and stretched. My headache began to get worse. Ugh, I cried too much last night. I started to walk out of my room, but something caught my eye. I turned around and looked at the other small table next to my bed. I squinted at it, my brows furrowing. That’s not there….is it? There’s no way. What is happening? I walked over to it. A red letter was left on the table. I hesitated before touching it. It’s real. Is it? Or am I finally going insane? With shaking hands I picked it up to read it. The handwriting on it was unfamiliar to me. It can’t be. Maybe I am just going insane. It was a dream, Saeyoung doesn’t exist. I held my breath as I read the note. “(Y/N), I’m so so so so sorry to do this to you. I promised you I wouldn’t go, but I did. I didn’t mean to, but I still broke my promise. I guess that’s all I can do is break promises. Something is wrong. I thought my machine would work to keep me here, but last night my head started to pound and my body shook. I can see myself phasing back to my dimension right now, so I’m trying to make this quick. I’m sorry I have to leave, but I promise I’ll find a way to perfect the machine so I can come back to you. Please wait for me, ~Saeyoung”. After staring at the letter for what felt like hours, I let out my breath. Was it all real? Was he here? No that’s not possible. There’s no way. I must really be going insane. I got home last night and went to bed, everything after that was a dream. My mind is just playing tricks on me. It’s nothing. I put the letter back on the table and left to go eat. I made some eggs and toast and sat down to eat. What has my life come too? Why am I even doing this? I’m so alone my brain is trying to convince me that Saeyoung, a character from a game, is real, and here for me. Haha as if. Why would he want me? I’m worth nothing. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’m a disaster. No one likes me, if someone did then wouldn’t I have at least one friend? I try talking to people, but I’m either ignored or they don’t talk back. I’m too closed off, too shy, too stupid I guess. There’s no way someone would want to be with me. So I should just- “No!” I shouted at myself, slamming my fist down on the table. Stop. Don’t do anything. You’ll just burden people more. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. It’s not worth it. You’re not worth it. I grabbed my water and chugged it. You’ll get through this. Should I call someone? Tell someone? No. They wouldn’t want to deal with it. Getting things off your shoulders is a luxury I don’t get. Think about something else. Oh I know how about how you’re not straight. People will judge you. Your parents say they’d be fine with it, but would they really? No. They wouldn’t. Frustrated with myself again, I got up from the table. I put my dishes into the sink and went to find my earbuds. I shoved them in my ears and started to play music to drown out the argument in my head. I truly have gone crazy. I closed my eyes and focused on the music. It’s my only comfort besides anime. 

After a few songs I had calmed down. I decided to switch distractions and watch anime. I grabbed my remote and put one on. I had gotten really into the fight scene ahead of me, when I was interrupted by my doorbell. Confused, I paused the show and went to the door. No one was there, so I opened it. I looked down to see a small package and flowers. Who in the world would?... I picked them up and brought them inside, after looking down the halls of my apartment. Yeah, no one in sight….weird. I set the box and flowers down on my kitchen counter. I looked for a note, expecting one to be in the flowers, but there was none. Maybe in the box? I grabbed a knife, I know really safe, and opened the box. I finally found a note. “I hope this works haha. Hang in there, I’m coming back. ~S”. I dropped the letter in shock. No way. What is happening? Is someone stalking me? This is getting weird. It can’t be Saeyoung...he’s not real. But how do I explain that dream? It felt so real. Then the letter and now this...either I’m going insane, someone is really stalking me, or- no he’s not real. But maybe he is… I decided to look and see what was in the box. It had my favorite snack. How? The flowers were some of my favorites too. My mind went through a list of people I knew. Who would know this? My parents knew, but it’s unlikely they just sent me flowers. I grabbed my phone and decided to ask my parents. A few minutes I got the answer, they hadn’t. They asked if it was from someone special like a boyfriend, and I grimaced when I read it. They can’t know. So of course I answered and said no it was nothing. I didn’t want to worry them. My phone vibrated in my hand, bringing me back to it’s attention. It was another notification from mystic messenger. I opened it up, just a chatroom with 707. 

*(Y/N) has entered the chat

707: (Y/N)!

(Y/N): 707!

707: Did it work?? 

My heart stopped. This chatroom isn’t supposed to say that. Is it really? I looked at the options I was given to answer, but there were none. Instead I could type in whatever I wanted. My eyes widened and my hands shook. It’s real? He’s real? I swallowed and typed a message. 

(Y/N): what’s happening?

707: YES! FINALLY!

707: I did it!

707: No options right? 

707: You can see this?

(Y/N): yes...but what’s happening

(Y/N): are you really there? That wasn’t a dream

707: yes I’m here. I’m real. We all are.

707: I finally hacked in to make this a way to communicate freely instead of these ‘options’ and story line. I did it 

(Y/N): I’m really confused. This can’t be real

707: it is

707: did you get the flowers and snacks? :D

(Y/N): yeah….

707: YES!

707: HAHA IM SO HAPPY

707: But celebrating is for later. I’m sorry I left so suddenly

707: I thought I had figured it out, but there was a glitch in the machine I made. I'll fix it and be there as soon as I can. 

707: but~

707: for now you can talk to us, the real us, with no options or story line

(Y/N): I’ve really gone insane haven’t I? 

(Y/N): Haha

(Y/N): ha...I should call someone this has gone too far

707: (Y/N). You’re not cray. We’re here and we exist, it’s just a different dimension

(Y/N): Different….DiMeNsIoN?!~

707: …

(Y/N): Yeah OkAy. Alternate dimensions exist and I’m talking to the Saeyoung Choi for real. He “exists” 

707: yes….

(Y/N): oh I’ve really gone insane 

707: no, we’re here...do you not remember last night?...

(Y/N): yes, last night I had a DREAM that Saeyoung Choi came to see me. HAHA me as if. And I guess I’m still dreaming, or I’ve gone insane at this point because this isn’t possible

707: That wasn’t a dream. This isn’t a dream. 

(Y/N): yeah okay~ 

707: well then I guess I’ll have to convince you when I see you again that I’m real...I’ll have to leave more evidence… maybe this time on you 

*Zen has entered the chat

Zen: what the hell is going on? 

Zen: Saeyoung why can I say what I want? 

Zen: Also stay away from (Y/N) 

707: Zen! So glad you’re here. I broke us out 

Zen: broke us out?...

707: Yep! We were all stuck in this game/dimension and I figured out how to get us out of the game part. So our lives will no longer repeat. Also I met (Y/N) last night in their dimension. 

Zen: so… we’re free?

707: Yep! But (Y/N) doesn’t believe me :( 

Zen: they’re here? 

(Y/N): Hi “Zen” 

Zen: omg 

Zen: this is happening

(Y/N): yes, welcome to my dream of insanity 

Zen: I think this is real…

(Y/N): its real in this dream of mine

707: see? 

707: I think I’ve almost fixed the machine so I should be able to go back tomorrow 

Zen: can I go? 

707: I don’t think it can handle more than one person, we might blow up time 

Zen: ok…

707: sorry

707: I should go work now though

707: (Y/N),

707: I promise I’ll be there tomorrow

707: bye~

(Y/N): yeah ‘see you tomorrow’

*707 has left the chat

Zen: so…

(Y/N): this is crazy

Zen: yeah it is…

Zen: we’re really free. I can go see people for real

Zen: I’m going to go, I need to think 

(Y/N): bye ig

*Zen and (Y/N) have left the chat

I’ve really gone insane. I decided not to think about it, or at least try not to. So I spent most of the remainder of my day watching anime and eating occasionally. I didn’t notice my eyes closing as I was watching, eventually falling asleep on my couch for the night.

[saeyoungchxi]

“I want to leave on you evidence... that I existed. I want to hold you tight and love you all night so you can remember me forever. Will you let me?”

— Saeyoung Choi

[affectionatespy626]

Title: Welcome Home (part 1)

Type: AU Fan-Fic

Origin: Mystic Messenger

Genre: Angst (trigger warning: sense of self loathing), Remorse & Reconciliation (?)

Words: 2211 (?)

Prompt: After-endings | Forgiveness

Day 6 Entry for @saeranchoiweek

______________________________

One winter of three years ago, the chaotic controversy regarding the prime minister and his rumored illegitimate sons was finally dying down slowly as the prime minister was forced to step down his pedestal as he was rumored to be arrested for multiple charges of embezzlement. This event soon led to the reports of the safe rescue of the missing agent and a member of the RFA, namely Luciel Choi, with the help of C&R’s intelligence team and string of network. Finally, one could say the storm has come to a pass, but for one particular person, it was still one phase out of few that he needed to undergo.

His snowy colored hair blended rather well with the season yet his usually cold minty colored eyes soften like snow as he quietly gazed upon a sleeping figure, life support and IV drip attached, lying motionless across a hospital bed, putting his heart into a conflicted state. He knew he had always wished for his brother to perish from his life, but now, witnessing the dreary state of his other half, he felt unspeakable worry rather than despicable spite. It’s been days ever since they had successfully retrieved and rescued the kidnapped agent, but he never would have dreamt to find him in such a dreadful state. Dehydrated and thin, bruises and cuts decorating his entire skin and body from head to toe, these evident signs of violent abuse and misuse of authority left a devastating shock to the younger twin, almost leading him to another series of self-loathing. But he knew full well, that even if he blamed himself over and over for the older twin’s state, it won’t be able to fix or solve anything. He hated his brother for so long, but his love for him which he thought he has long forgotten, unexpectedly resurfaces itself as he stubbornly refused to leave his brother’s bedside

.“Saeyoung…..I’m… Sorry….” His quiet apology was barely a whisper to himself, drowned by the steady beat of the device that sustained his brother’s life. “If… If only I could have found you sooner… this wouldn’t have happened….It’s…. It’s my fault…” His voice was laced with remorse, the corner of his eyes heating up with budding tears. He knew full well that it wasn’t his fault, but he couldn’t help but partly blame himself deep down inside for such an outcome. He wished he could have prevented this, but it was too late to regret what has already happened. His heart was trembling painfully, and his mind was slowly infested with unpleasant thoughts. Simply watching his brother’s miserable state sends him a wave of fear all over his body, and he couldn’t help but clutch at the sleeping lad’s hand, desperately hoping for those bruised eyelids to flutter open soon.

‘God… If you do really exist like how I was taught back when I was young… Please… Please allow me a chance to be with my brother once again. I know I said I hated him for everything that he’s done… For leaving me behind… for abandoning me… for all those times he made me think he was gone… But as of this moment, I only wish for him to live on. Please allow him to live on…. And I promise…. I will never make any selfish request ever again…’

He solemnly prayed with all his heart as he clasped his brother’s hand between his own grasp, hoping that his prayers will find its answer.

For two whole weeks, the younger twin has been constantly visiting his brother at the hospital, hoping for any signs of improvement, hoping for his desperate wish to be granted. Sometimes, he’d find other RFA member paying his brother a visit, and when he hears their words of encouragement and well wishes, he couldn’t help but learn to slowly warm up to them. One of the constant visitors was the youngest member of the RFA, Yoosung Kim. As he and the blonde chap exchange small conversations, he comes to learn how Yoosung seems to be quite close with the agent and regards him as a close friend. Another constant visitor was the C&R director he came to end up working with eventually. The lad was genuinely thankful for the corporate heir’s assistance with everything, from his brother’s search and rescue operation, up to this point where the stern fellow provided a couple bodyguards to stand watch outside the hospital room, preventing shady and suspicious figures from setting foot into the room or cause any havoc.

“How is he?” Deep monotonous voice convey his concern, dark color irises gazing steadily at the sleeping individual.

“Not much improvements aside from his bruises slowly fading and cuts gradually healing.” His meek voice was rippled with worry, his gaze upon his brother growing ever weary. “It’s been two whole weeks, yet I didn’t get much of a report about him gaining consciousness….” His voice grew weaker and feeble as he heaves a downhearted sigh. And honestly, he was slowly losing faith over his wishes coming true.

“I see.” Turning his nonchalant gaze toward the younger twin who appeared quite ragged and exhausted, leaving him concerned. His emotions doesn’t usually reflect on his face, and most people would regard his poker face as a mechanical imprint, but to be honest, deep down, he is one of those who values family and friends and deeply cares for them greatly. And at that moment, he has already thought of the younger hacker as part of his second family, that being the RFA. “Don’t lose hope, Saeran. I believe your brother will surely come back to you.” He gave the younger twin a pat on the shoulder as he turned for the door and was preparing to leave. “Oh, right. Please don’t worry about your request. I have sent some of my bodyguards to patrol the area you’ve given us so rest assured, the child will be safe.”

“Thank you, Mr. Jumin Han.”  As he heard the other’s statement, another breath of sigh escaped his lips, feeling relieved that the the child would be protected from harm’s way, hoping that this would also reassure his beloved that her child will be safe no matter what. Upon hearing the door open then closing, noting the corporate heir’s exit, he was once again left alone with his slumbering twin, his gaze drift from him then out towards the grey painted skies. Snow has started to fall for the first time, watching each flake fall one by one as he strode down towards the window. His mint colored irises gaze upon the gloomy clouds, reminding him that this season has always been unforgiving for the both him and his brother. Only painful memories could be remembered during this season, and the most painful one being left alone in that dark and stuffy room, shivering, starving and crying himself to sleep. It was the season where memories of watching people rejoiced and enjoyed holidays with their families from a dark curtained window, while he and his brother, would only share a blanket and a bottle of water, hoping to survive a horrid quarter of chilly winter. Ultimately, it was a season where his brother’s absence caused him so much grief and emptiness deep within.

He’d wished to make new memories for this once awful season, hoping to spend merry holidays with his beloved muse, experience the kind of event he’d only bare witness through curtain cracks. And despite not truly believing that Santa  Claus or his merry entourage ever existing, his inner self dares cling to that spec of hope that even someone like him could find a place in this seasonal cheer and be granted the only present he’d currently wanted: A new life with Saeyoung.

“Sae…ran…?”

“?!?!”

He wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks with him from delving too much into deep thoughts that he’s now hearing things, but he swore he heard a weak voice calling his name that almost sounded like–

“Sae….ran… is… is that… you?”

Hearing the voice again, his eyes sprang round and wide in surprise, his heart pounded painfully in a course of anticipation. Was he yet hearing another hymn from his conscience? But it sounded all too real, and he was almost certain the voice was definitely-

“Saeyongung?” Shakily, he shuffled to turn towards where his brother was supposed to be, afraid that his imagination was pulling awful tricks on him, but his minty gaze found two pairs of sad golden eyes, tears beading in them. “Sae…. Saeyoung?” 

“Saeran… what…. What happened to you?” Golden pair of irises quiver as they became misted with tears, shaky voice breaking in obvious devastation at the sight of the drastic changes he found in his dearest younger twin. “What… what have they done… to you? I…” 

“Saeyoung…” Biting his lower lip as he desperately held back tears of his own, his hands clenched into balls of fists as they tremble, watching his older half break into massive tears caused him to finally let his own stream of tears loose as well. “I hate you…. I hate you so much, Saeyoung!” He screamed his heart out, frustrated and aggravated and its recipient could only remain sobbing audibly. 

“Did you know how worried I was?! HUH?!”  He raged on, his tears bearing no signs of stopping themselves as his heart thumped like roaring thunder. “You…. I can’t believe you left me behind all alone back there and allowed me to think you were gone! For all those years…. All those painful and awful years, I blindly believed that you got tired of me because I was weak, helpless, useless without worth!” 

“Saeran… That’s not true! I-” 

“I was worried about you. I was waiting for you to come back home. I waited, and waited, and waited all over and again! I spent years of my life thinking our father…. That despicable man… has finally gotten rid of you… but then you!” 

“I’m sorry, Saeran. I know I shouldn’t have left you back there. I’m really sorry! But I didn’t know what else to do! I had no choice!” 

“Of course you had a choice! You could have just stayed with me! Then maybe both of us wouldn’t have had to go through deep pits of hell at the expense of idiotic vengeance or one-sided protection!” 

The bedridden agent fell voiceless as he simply allowed his brother to throw all agitation at him, and despite having just woken up, he was slowly feeling like he was sinking into a corner of nightmares. 

“Saeyoung… I know you’d openly sacrifice yourself for me, but you didn’t have to go that far… “ His voice finally mellowed down into a weakened whimper as he crumbled to the ground, his fingers roughly brushing through his hair. “I hated myself so much thinking I was the reason why you were gone…. I hated myself for depending on you too much and yet could not make myself reliable enough… and hated myself because no matter what I do, I couldn’t do anything for you….I…” His lips quivered as faint stain of red and teeth marks painted on his lower lip, a mark left by his aggravation. “I hated myself because I allowed myself to fall prisoner to all my doubts of you, to my hatred towards you, to the words of a false prophet that made me believe you were someone I had to eliminate from my life, for allowing them to use me as a tool to wreak havoc and seek my vengeance. And I…. Hated myself that even now.. I couldn’t even protect you… And now you…”

Silence befell within the room with the only noises being their quiet sobs and the constant beat of the monitor. The agent remained laid in his bed, the back of his arm hiding his eyes, his cheeks drenched with tears and his chest rising and falling in an irregular fashion. The younger twin still seated on the floor, his back resting against the hospital bed leg, his head sunk between his palms as he also continued to weep. Both of them were unable to speak out anymore and simply allowed themselves to cry, together for the first time in a certainly long while.

 I knew I said those words thoughtlessly but deep inside my heart I knew I had to say them all out, thinking it’ll provide an opportunity for our reconciliation. Still, I may have said I hated him, hated him so much that it hurts, but now I understand. I never really hated him… I hated what he’s done, but not him. Not my brother… I… I could never ever hate my one and only brother.

‘Saeyoung… It’s not too late, is it? It’s not too late to regain what we both had lost from all the years we’ve been apart, right?’ 

‘And if you’d let me…. I will do anything and everything in my power just to get back your trust in me, brother. I'll make sure this time, I’ll never leave your side and recover lost times with you, Saeran.’ 

‘Because there’s no other place I’d truly call home but by your side, brother.’

[mystic-messenger-writing]

Do you have personal headcanons for how the choi twins would be if their dad raised them? I feel like their mom made him out to be a demon, but what if he was just worried about his kids living with a wild alcoholic, y'know?? Maybe he'd raise then in secrecy or pass them on to a respected friend? Anyone BUT their mom D:

I have to admit anonny, this has been one of my favorite requests that I’ve ever written! This is such an interesting idea and, as you can tell by the long length, I had a lot of fun writing this one! I was also in a more angsty mood since like you said, Saeyoung and Saeran deserve to be raised by anyone other then their mother because screw her! Anyways, I sincerely hope that you enjoy!! ^^

Seven and Unknown 

The Choi’s father had always kept a close eye on Saeyoung and Saeran not because he wanted them eliminated, but because he was worried for them

He had some of his men report to him that their mother, his former lover, had become an abusive alcoholic who was clearly unfit to raise the twins

So one day when the twins were about eleven years old, their father gathered enough evidence to use in court against his former lover

He barged into the shabby home one day with plenty of his men to find their mother brutally beating Saeran while Saeyoung was trying desperately to shield his brother

The twin’s father’s stomach twisted into knots as he saw how malnourished the boys looked coupled with severe red marks from beatings that decorated their skin and a look in their eyes that could only be desrcibed as pure fear

It all happened in a blur for the twins, one minute their mother was beating them, the next she was taken away by police, then they suddenly found themselves walking into the enormous mansion that was known as their father’s home

Saeyoung looked around suspiciously as he kept Saeran close to him, his brother looking frightened as he hid behind his twin, clinging desperately onto his shoulder

It truly broke their father’s heart to see his twins like this but he had a feeling that their fear of him was from more than their mother’s cruelty

So he crouched down to meet their eye level, Saeyoung defensively holding his brother behind him while Saeran jumped as their father asked them why they were so scared

“It’s because mother told us that you were trying to kidnap us and then kill us. She said that we would ruin your chances of becoming an elected official if word ever got out about us.”

Saeyoung’s words cut deep into his father’s heart, the guilt of leaving them with their mother was becoming overwhelming

That night, their father led them into their own separate rooms to sleep in but Saeran started crying that he didn’t want to sleep alone so when the boy’s father checked on them in the middle of the night, he found Saeran wrapped protectively in Saeyoung’s arms as the two slept soundly

After much consideration, their father decided to raise them in secrecy until he could find them a proper family to live with

He noticed that his boys were still uncomfortable around him so he had his staff take care of them while he watched from afar

The twin’s father watched in awe at how much food they ate, how much they slept, and just how much Saeyoung and Saeran truly loved each other

He let Saeyoung, now accompanied by Saeran, go to church with security guards and saw how they met a couple, a petite girl with blonde hair and a tall man with pastel blue hair

While the twins were always on guard around their father, they both slowly started realizing that their mother may have been telling them lies about their father

Their father let them live as normal as a life as he could, but as the twins grew older he realized that it was becoming tougher to keep their existence hidden

When Saeyoung and Saeran were seventeen years old, their father told them that he bought them a small house for them to live in together

He also enlisted the help of Rika and V, the twin’s church friends, to watch over them and even let them join the RFA

On the day of their departure, the twin’s father looked at his boys with a look that was sadden mixed with pride

Their father placed a hand on each of their shoulders, secretly happy that neither boy flinched, and told them how sorry he was for not helping them sooner and how he couldn’t spend more time with them

Saeyoung thanked their father for all that he did as Saeran agreed, both of them having small smiles forming on their lips

From that day forward, the twin’s father secretly kept a close eye on his boys, incredibly proud of how they each became their own person as he prayed every night for the boys to find joy in their lives

Saeyoung and Saeran could never forget their haunting past when they were with their mother, however they both would always remember the good times that they spent together as their father saved them and for that, they would both be eternally grateful

[casxia]

Mystic Messenger Desktop Wallpapers (1920 x 1080 px) | Mobile Version (x)

Free for use yay!!! Please do not remove the watermark

It’s been a while since I last played and I miss all of them, so I had a little fun and did a wallpaper set! It's a neo-memphis inspired design thingy so lolol

Hyun Ryu (Zen): I want to be a better person to you, who's cursed me with happiness Yoosung Kim: Trust me and just wait, everything will be fine Jaehee Kang: I'll advance one step at a time Jumin Han: If you have the chance, please give me the honor of escorting you Saeyoung Choi (707): I want to leave evidence on you that I existed Saeran Choi (Unknown): Please save me. Take me to paradise Jihyun Kim (V): I will always be your sun. I'll come save you