#salusa kiyoomi x you

[rishiguro]

SAKUSA swiped his thumb over the album, eyebrows furrowing as he saw how the dust clung to his skin, leaving behind a clean trail on the cover. he couldn’t believe he let it get so dirty. there was a time where he picked it up practically daily — mostly because you insisted on it — and looked through it, a slight smile appearing on his face as he did so.

but now you weren’t here anymore. there was no one to force him to look at the pictures, reliving year-old memories. honestly speaking, he completely forgot about it until today, when he decided to finally clean out your night table.

although right now, he wished he hadn’t done that.

his fingers trembled slightly as he opened the album, immediately being greeted by your handwriting and a picture of the two of you on your first anniversary.

you had gifted him this album one day, writing a long letter on the first page of the album. back when you were together, sakusa loved to pick up the album (mostly when you weren’t looking) and read it, his heart warming with every word. but today, he hurriedly turned the page.

his heart grew heavier with every photo he looked at, remembering every second of your relationship and reliving every little memory that you made.

you looked so happy, just like he did. you were so happy together.

and now you were gone.

he continued looking through the album, the sad smile on his face slowly disappearing, making room for a deep frown.

he shouldn’t be doing this. he shouldn’t be looking at your old pictures, reminiscing about the past — times that were long gone, destined to never return.

after all, you left him. and here he was, longingly gazing at pictures of you, like you were just gone for a business trip or a holiday. like you would open the door to his apartment in any second, greeting him with your warm smile and in a cheery voice before you would fall into his arms and kiss him so lovingly.

but these times were over, and they have been over for a long time. he hasn’t been so happy like he was in a long time. not since you left him.

for a moment he clenched his eyes shut, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths.

he should just throw that away, just like he wanted to get rid of literally everything that you had left in the drawer. a bracelet you had bought that matched his, a few hastily written notes with a few reminders. a pack of painkillers that you got because you knew he was prone to migraines.

and even though it has been so long, he found himself unable to do just that. he clung to these remnants of you, of what you used to have, like a child, unwilling to leave their stuffed animal and carrying it around with them.

he knew it was irrational to hang onto the album. he could never go back to those days, he could never relive those moments, he could never be with you anymore.

it was over. and now these pictures were only fading memories to him, a reminder of a past time that he would never be able to go back to, happy moments he would never get to relive.

you were a fading memory.

slamming the photo book shut, he clenched his jaw, rapidly throwing it back into the still open drawer on the nightstand, before also it shutting it, telling himself to forget about it.

nothing more.

but if you were really nothing more, if you really didn’t mean anything to him anymore, why was he still clinging to the last pieces that you had left behind?

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