#saturntracks

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— Ep 8: Favourite Scene

[kinnbig]

KimChay + their brothers

✨ happy birthday @divorcedmalewife!! ✨

[eternally-daydreaming]

even when i don’t feel whole, i am enough

With Pete, Vegas begins to heal.

• this one's for you, wren 🫶🏻🤍

━━━━━ ━━━━━ ━━━━━ ━━━━━

The moon taught me

there is beauty

in darkness too, that even when

I don’t feel whole

I am enough.

***

For a while, Vegas floats in some intangible plane of existence. He isn’t really there, though, not consciously. 

His mind is, for once, clear of any thoughts—worries anger desire pain despair—as his soul is carried along, ping-ponging between life and death. 

And then all at once, he’s falling, hurtling towards…he doesn’t even know. All he knows is that there’s something pulling him down, down down down, he’s racing towards the bottom, any second now he’s going to crash into it—

Vegas wakes up.

His eyes stay closed as awareness begins drifting back in. Either it’s daytime or the lights are on judging by the faint glow coming through his eyelids. He’s resting on something soft, half-sitting up with his back propped against what feels like mounds of stuffed linen. There’s a rhythmic beeping off to his right, the muted sound of footsteps walking around him. Then the footsteps stop, as if hesitating, before his left side dips a little as someone sits next to him. 

Vegas opens his eyes. 

It’s Pete, Pete sitting on the bed, frozen before him, brown doe eyes rimmed red as they stare at each other. Time stretches for what feels like hours, although it could’ve only been seconds.

Vegas feels his bottom lip wobble, and that’s all it takes for Pete to envelop him in his arms as they weep into each other’s shoulders.

(“I almost lost you,” Pete will shakily whisper to him later, when their voices are hoarse and the sky outside is dark. “I had just gotten you back, and you were nearly ripped away from me. I…I’ll never be able to forget it, the way you just crumpled to the ground…” 

Pete’s voice will trail off at the end, breath catching in his throat, and Vegas will wordlessly tighten his grip around the other man. He will squeeze his eyes shut, the echoes of four gunshots booming in his ears.)

.

.

.

It takes nearly three weeks for Vegas to regain a fraction of his mobility after suffering major trauma to his abdomen. He can only really shift on the bed a few centimeters at the start, before his body erupts in flames and he’s hissing in pain. Gradually he’s able to sit up and lay down, albeit slowly with help from Pete, and soon after that he’s standing and walking around carefully with Pete’s arm curled protectively around his waist.

He had tried moving after a week of being bedridden due to his injuries, even though he knew damn well his body wasn’t ready yet. Maybe it was because he just wanted to prove a point. Prove it to who, well…Vegas didn’t know.

He managed to stand up next to the bed, though it involved a lot of cussing, wincing, and pained gasps. He’d been about to try taking a step when the door to his room opened and Pete caught him in the act. 

Pete took one look at him weakly standing up before leveling him with a severely unimpressed look.

“Walk then,” he had said, jerking his chin towards Vegas. “Come on, walk towards me. I bet you can’t even take a step.”

Vegas doesn’t even complete one step before pain forces his body to buckle in on itself. Pete catches him in his arms before he can hit the floor.

It takes another three weeks for doctors to deem him healed enough to go home and finish his recovery there. For the entire six weeks he’s in the hospital, Vegas clings to Pete whenever he can, though it’s worse when he tries to sleep, when the dark and quiet of night tortures him with visions and sounds of getting shot.

Only with Pete next to him, their bodies nearly touching from forehead to toes, does the torture cease.

.

.

.

It’s the first night home—in a faraway wing of the minor family compound—when Vegas gasps awake in the middle of the night.

Flashes dance behind his eyelids, loud bangs echoing in his ears as his heart threatens to beat right out of his chest. He goes to get up, to get some fresh air on the adjoining balcony, and notices his hands are shaking.

Vegas stands there for a long while, leaning over the railing and watching the trees sway in the wind, the moon painting their shadows. Eventually he hears rustling, then feet pounding against the floor as they race towards the balcony. Towards him.

The footsteps stop just short of the doorway, as if hesitating, before they come closer. Vegas feels the remaining warmth from sleep radiating off Pete’s body.

“You weren’t in bed,” Pete murmurs. Vegas hears his underlying words: you weren’t clinging to me, and that’s not like you. “What’s wrong?”

Vegas sighs, shoulders slumping with the weight of the world on them, heart twisting in his chest.

Volume near-silent, Vegas voices the thoughts that have ravaged his mind since he woke up in the hospital. “What I can offer you, and what I feel toward you, are two totally different things.” 

Pete doesn’t say anything in response, so Vegas turns his head to risk a glance. The other man simply gazes back at him, head tilted to the side in thought.

“What do you feel towards me?” Pete asks. A gust of wind billows by, ruffling his sleep-mussed hair.

It comes out soft and featherlike. “I adore you, Pete. I want to protect you, I want to have you here for as long as you’ll want me…I want you happy and smiling because it’s what you deserve. I feel how much I love you. All these things I feel, they threaten to suffocate me everyday because they’re so intense.”

Pete tilts his head the other way. “What can you offer me?”

Vegas growls under his breath, frustration bursting at Pete’s steady tone, the care in his voice. How can he care about Vegas, after everything that’s happened? “Pain, despair, darkness, a pathetic excuse of a man—”

Suddenly Pete snarls, “Don’t listen to that voice inside your head,” and Vegas shuts up instantly. 

His face, his tone, softens then, brown eyes imploring. “Listen to mine.” He reaches out and laces their fingers together, even though Vegas’s are cold and Pete’s are warm. “The things you feel towards me, are the things you can offer me. They are one and the same.”

Sobs climb up Vegas’s throat, wrap around his windpipe, choking him. Tears burn in the corners of his eyes. He shakes his head, voice cracking on his words. “I’m so sorry, Pete. I’m a mess, you shouldn’t have to deal with this—"

“Hey, shh,” comes the soft whisper of Pete’s voice. Never once letting their fingers untangle, he steps closer and embraces Vegas, forehead to shoulder. “I’m here because I want to be, Vegas. I’m here with you, everything’s alright now.”

Vegas sobs brokenly, fingers clenching around Pete’s where their hands are trapped between their bodies. “But i-it’s not—I’m not okay.”

“You will be. We both will.” Pete’s fingers squeeze around Vegas’s where their hands are encased by their hearts. “I promise you.”

The nighttime wind breezes gently past, the moon casting its soft light, as if both are coming down to speak to them.

You will heal, they whisper. You are enough.

━━━━━ ━━━━━ ━━━━━ ━━━━━

Available on AO3

Collection Masterlist

[saturnskyline]

hey besties, i have a tracking tag now!!

🎉 #saturntracks 🎉

feel free to tag me in literally anything! i'm not picky and i love seeing your gifsets, fics, etc. no need to follow me to use it either, this is just 4 fun :) so yeah, here you go teehee

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— Ep 9: Favourite Outfit

[magicaldreamfox1]

dreamy drabbles

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— prompt: trust

Big can feel Kinn's eyes burrowing into his back from across the room.

"Porsche, this isn't– I mean what about Kinn, what about–"

Porsche's fingers graze the skin above his waistband. He gasps quietly.

"I told you it's fine." Porsche murmurs, leaning closer. "Do you trust me?"

Big doesn't answer, but doesn't back away either, only letting out a shaky exhale.

What a curious thing to want so much.

"Trust me. Please?" Torturously slowly and carefully, Porsche leans in to kiss him.

And despite his instincts telling him that this is wrong, he can't have this, he pulls him closer.

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— Ep 2: Favourite Supporting Character (in/sp)

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— Ep 5: Underrated Character

[magicaldreamfox1]

“This is for Porchay.”

[magicaldreamfox1]

Pete Hands Appreciation Post (for @kissporsche)

[magicaldreamfox1]

kinnporsche the series as faceless gifsets: ep 7 / 14

“After all, we are family.”

[magicaldreamfox1]

Soft Tummy Pete Appreciation Post

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE THE SERIES (2022) + textposts — 11/?

[magicaldreamfox1]

happy valentine's day ~ ♡

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— Ep 7: Favourite Platonic/Familial Relationship (insp.)

[magicaldreamfox1]

KINNPORSCHE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY EVENT

— Ep 4: Favourite Location/Set