#saw some dumb shit including from self proclaimed straight women about 'i stand with lesbians'

[a9saga]

as a cis lesbian, i have never, ever been pressured to have any sexual or romantic interaction of any kind with a trans woman, by anyone. no one has told me i should or need to be with a trans woman to prove that i am not transphobic, or to validate someone’s gender, or fucking whatever transphobes think lesbians are “pressured into sex” with trans women for. i have not been pressured into sex with a trans woman. ever. i’m only speaking for myself here.

in many lgbtq+ spaces i have attended irl, i am very comfortable with however many trans people have shared that space with me. some of them like women, some of them don’t, some are men, women, neither, both, fluctuating in between, whatever. i have not been disrespected by any of them for being a cis lesbian. and i have never so much as been asked if i’ve had any sexual or romantic experiences with trans women before. i am just known as a lesbian to trans people irl. no one has asked me if i would date or sleep with a trans woman and i know none of them are sitting around wondering if i would. because truly, the trans people i know of all genders and sexualities do not care what i do with my own sexuality. i’ve never had to bring it up myself either. truly, trans people do not give a shit.

trans people do not gather to tell everyone to date them. dating does not equal education or liberation, this is the dumbest of all fallacies. no one gives two shits about your dating life, dude, you’re not that hot.

when you enter a space for sapphic women to meet each other, you are not embracing the idea of sleeping with everyone in that space before going in. you also do not have to sleep with any trans woman in a space for queer women. if anyone’s pressuring you into sex, cis or trans, you have every right to reject them and if you are ever violated by another queer woman, i am truly sorry. you don’t deserve that. something needs to be done about that.

now if you’re shaking in your boots because you have read this post and thought “oh my god op would sleep with a trans woman there really are no real lesbians left” i haven’t said fuck all about if i’d sleep with a trans woman in this post. i haven’t named anyone in this post i would sleep with or date. “would you sleep with a trans person” is such a silly question to me. if you’re asking if i’d sleep with a woman of any other social demographic, you might as well ask me if i’d sleep with someone from cleveland or if i’d sleep with anyone whose favorite animal is a giraffe. it’s like..??? who are you putting in front of me and asking about anyway? i am not sitting around looking for transwomen or women from cleveland to sleep with. there has to be a person and situation to contextualize the question in order for it to make sense, otherwise i would just prefer not to be asked about it. it’s not worth discussing to me.

why does the visibility of transgender people make transphobes and even conservatives start worrying about lesbians?? what did i do? i’m right here, idk. if you’re worried about me, i’m fine. even right wingers will take on terfs to talk about ~the extinction of (cis) lesbians~ fucking. i’m right here. wanna ask me about my extinction? i don’t think lesbians are going anywhere, but whatever.

interestingly, i have had an experience this year where an old friend from my calc 2 class came out to me over text as a trans woman. and when she did, i told her, since i'd considered telling her although i’d not that of a reason to bring it up, that i’m a lesbian. some weeks later, she asked me, while insisting i didn’t have to answer this if i didn’t want to, how i’d figured out i was a lesbian. and i went off. woo boy what a complicated question, it is a very earth shattering thing sometimes to realize you can be a woman without loving men and especially that you are one. and she responded in awe at how much of what i said she had not even considered and thanked me for helping her realize she’s a lesbian, more abruptly than she had expected apparently. oh, and also, this trans lesbian friend? did not go on to pressure me into sex or a relationship, if you were wondering.