#sawyoung smut

[sunseteyes]

MOONLIGHT - S. CHOI

theme/s: bestfriend, confession, makeout, only mild nsfw

this is my second present for my friend because sae is her baby haha. anyway, feel free to listen to the song whilst reading!

You knew you couldn’t be selfish to call him yours.

He’s different; his job, his life, heck even his identity. As much as he kept secrets from you, you knew there was more to him than just that bubbly, slightly cringey, cute guy you met in the net.

You were bored by time when you matched with him in some random dating app, not really knowing you’d enjoy his crazy jokes and eventually, his company. It took you awhile before he actually went by your place and vice versa. However, he preferred the latter since he said he has a lot of work and he’d bring at least his laptop when he comes by your place or he’d have to go home early to finish his work. He’s a very busy man, you realized. That’s also why you two never progressed into something other than that line between friendship and being an official couple.

It was not what you two intended anyway at first. There were some casual flirting—wait, scratch that. There were a lot of flirting especially in texts or calls. However, he tends to shy up and just friend-zone you whenever you see each other in real life. You figured it was just his personality and he was never really interested to get serious so you pushed aside those budding feelings, going to several blind dates setup by your other friends or hookups that only lasted for just one night or at most, a week.

No one was like Luciel—or if that’s really his name.

You figured out it was not his real name when you got to talk to one of his friends—Yoosung, who went by his place one time to pickup some Honey Buddha Chips when he saw you, surprising the hell out of the boy. You could remember how freaked out he was that “Seven”—another name of his—was not telling anyone he has someone who he hangs out every now and then. You two exchanged numbers at that time and became friends. You tried to flirt with him, but you just couldn’t do it.

He’s just not Luciel.

Until one day, you realized you’d been trying to find him in every person you meet, setting up the standards to match the kind of person he is. Ah, shit. You totally fell deep into this one, you cursed to yourself.

“Hey, hey, are you still watching?” a voice pulls you from your train of thoughts, the owner of the said voice being the center of said thoughts. You sigh as you turn to Luciel, gazing at his golden eyes, laced with dark bags underneath, his glasses sitting comfortably under his sharp nose. He seems tired but he still made time for you to hangout today. Why does he have to be so kind? Why is he making it hard for you not to fall deeper into that unfair thing called love—or whatever it is?

“What? What’s wrong?” he asks, his smile falling as he looks at you worriedly. “Do you not like the movie?”

You avert away, avoiding his eyes, afraid he’d see through the hundred bricked walls you’ve built up against him, just like the security gate that he has before you could get in his home.

“It’s not that-“ your voice comes out rushed. “-maybe I’m just tired.” you were—it’s not a lie. You’re tired of hiding these feelings and not acting upon it. How could you? You’re too afraid to break whatever friendship you had with him—the only relationship that mattered to you right now.

“Oh.” he lets out. “Do you want to-uhm-stop watching? Do you want to sleep? You can sleep for awhile, I think. If only you want to though! I’m not forcing you or anything.” he blabbered, clearly embarrassed.

Don’t do that, Luciel, you say to your mind. Don’t make me hope.

“No, it’s alright. Let’s watch.” you say, dropping your hands to fish some Honey Buddha Chips that were settled onto a big bowl in between the two of you. However, before you could even do so, a familiar warmth envelops your hand and your head whips to Luciel, surprised.

He has a blush on his cheeks, almost resembling the color of his hair. “Y/n-I could tell something’s bothering you. What is it? You should not feel this way, it’s your birthday.”

Ah, that’s right. The reason he probably invited you was because he felt bad he couldn’t even go to your birthday gathering, where you gathered several of your friends to a club last night. Your head still spins from all the stuff that went on; all the drinking, kissing, dancing. Have you hooked up with someone else? You can’t even remember. Maybe you did. All you knew was that you hated Luciel’s work—for taking him from you, even if he wasn’t yours anyway.

“It’s nothing.” you brush his question away, but not his hand. His hand felt too warm and amazing against yours. You’re too selfish to push it away.

The look on his eyes made you want to say what’s been bothering you. But it’s not that simple. You can’t really tell him you’ve been in love with him after almost two years of friendship; that you can’t get him off your head even if you’re fucking another person or in another blind date, finding his warmth and touches in other people. Did you though? Nope. Not a single one.

His thumb brushes softly against your hand, butterflies spreading from your stomach, traveling to your heart. He’s not one to initiate skinship and it made you wonder why he’s doing this now. You wanted to question him, you really do. But how could you? You’re afraid he’d stop it altogether.

“It’s not nothing.” he objects, his voice soft. “Today’s your special day. Uh-Do you want to do something else? Do you want to play games? Do you-“

“You can’t-“ you cut him off from his rambling, pulling your gaze away from his eyes to divert your attention back at the television screen. “You can’t give me what I want.”

You tried focusing, despite the distraction that his hand provided. However, your efforts were futile. You can’t even get the gist of the movie by now. Is this an action movie? Or comedy? You’ve got not a single idea.

You felt him remove the bowl in between the two of you without letting go of your hand and move closer, until he was inches away, his whole body facing yours. “Come on, tell it to me! I’m sure I can probably hack my way into it.” he laughs, trying to lift up the mood, probably.

“You can’t, Luciel.” you used his name—fake name, your tone indicating that the conversation was over and you didn’t want to talk about it. You could tell he wanted to push it but he kept his mouth shut. It ached you to act like this to him. But what could you do? One look from him will make you get on your knees if he wanted. One touch and you’d be crumbling down your walls to let him in. Maybe-

Maybe you should stop hiding?

I mean, there’s nothing left to recover, right? If this keeps on going, it would just be the same as being heartbroken from the unrequited feelings. Were you willing to risk Luciel and your friendship?

You were not the one who decided that, however, for a hand grasps gently on your chin, making you face him once again. You noticed how he had leaned closer to you, taking your breath away at the current proximity between the two of you.

“Hey...” you snap, a bit harsher than you intended. “What are you doing?”

He was blushing, but he did not back down. This is not just part of those flirting you’ve done before—it’s different from all of those you’ve done before.

“I...” he trails off, almost like he wanted to say something. But then he lets out a sigh, bumping his forehead into yours while closing his eyes.

You could smell him—it was not the scent from the Honey Buddha Chips he’d probably eaten all day, but rather it was a the sweetness and freshness of his perfume, most likely sprayed earlier on before you came. Bergamot with hints of lemon? You don’t really know much about luxurious perfumes but you could tell that he’d spent a generous money on this one.

You couldn’t hold back. It was your fault for cutting that thin thread of separation between friends and something more. You were the one who held on his jacket, pulling him closer to you and inhaling on his scent.

His eyes shot open, now looking at you with a surprised look. You could feel your heart pound when you met his golden irises, observing his reaction.

You dreaded as the seconds pass by, silence hanging between the two of you despite the distant noise from the built-in speakers that was installed in his living room. Yet, the only thing you could focus on were his eyes, his scent, his warmth, his soft breaths—in short, him.

Until he finally closes his eyes and relents all the restraints that bounded him from doing something more, leaning forward to brush his lips slightly onto yours, testing the waters.

Your heart jumps but you didn’t move away. Instead, you decided to let it all go and met his lips again, this time giving in to your inner desires for once and for all. You knew you should’ve stopped, should’ve pushed him away. But what can you do when you’ve just ached for him that much?

The kisses were light as a feather, and his lips were inexperienced. Yet, it didn’t fail to make your heart flutter like a high-school girl kissing her crush. The hands that gripped on his jacket pulled him closer, deepening the kiss as a result.

You pull away to kiss the side of his lips, a hand raising to cup his jaw, relishing on the way he responds. You did sense uncertainty in his aura however, and it made you stop your actions.

“Is this... okay?” you ask, voice hushed in a whisper, like you’re afraid anybody else will hear despite knowing no on else was there aside from you and him.

He peaks a look at you and nods, a simple action yet it weighed much more than anything else you’ve done your whole life. You caress his cheek, as gentle as a dove flopping its wings as it glides into the air. You adored the way he leans into your touch, resembling a scene of yourself petting a cat.

“There will be no going back.” you spilled the words out of your mouth, as if telling it to yourself at the same time. This time, he looks you straight in the eye behind his Gucci glasses, his messy vermillion locks adoring his head, accentuating more of his sharp but adorable face.

“I know. I just-“ he pauses, his brows furrowing. “I can’t hide it anymore. Whenever I see you sad, it hurts me how I can’t comfort you the way I want to.”

You held the sides of his face and gave him all of your attention, letting him speak further. His expressions told you a lot of his emotions, mirroring the inside with the outside with how exposed he was.

“I want to hug you whenever you’re stressed, I want to kiss all of your tears away. You don’t know how much I want to take your mind away from all the things that brings a frown to your face.” he rattles on, pouring out all of his emotions to you. You’ve never seen him look so broken and desperate, and you just want to hug the daylights out of him.

But you did more than that, pressing your lips to his once again, lasting for a couple of seconds before you lean back and gaze at him lovingly. “You can, you know. You just have to let me in.”

He didn’t respond verbally after that. Instead, he kissed you again, filled with emotions of the moon that chose to show itself in the darkness of the night.

Moments passed by in a blur; his touches making you feel light-headed and his kisses being the only thing that’s keeping you from pushing on. It was finally happening—he’s finally the one in front of you, taking you to bed, not just some random stranger you’ve picked up from the bar or someone who you’ve just had your first date with.

“Luciel, I-“

“I’m not Luciel.”

Your head snapped to look him in the eyes. “What?”

“Don’t call me Luciel.” he says, glancing up at you from his position below you as you straddled his lap, his hands wrapped around you protectively.

“I want you to call me by my real name, Saeyoung.” his golden irises held the sincerity and trust that he felt towards you and you can’t help but gaze adoringly at him, raising your hands to cup his cheeks before grasping upon the temples of his glasses and gently remove it out of his face. You had to stretch a bit to place it on the bedside table but once you came back in front of him, he pulls you once again into a heated make-up session, spreading more butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Both your tops were discarded in a matter of seconds, heat rushing through your blood the more exposed you two were becoming.

He pecks your cheeks and his lips travel down your neck, and then down to the valley of your breasts.

Tracing down on his arms, you grabbed into his hands kissed his fingertips, taking his breath away in the process. You could see the way he looks at you and you then wondered why you even were worried before.

However, a sound of ringing echoed throughout the walls of the house and you recognized it as your own phone. You fish your hand on one of your jeans’ pockets, feeling Saeyoung resume his soft kisses on your neck, pulling you close.

“Who’s that?” he questions, his voice muffled by your skin as he peaks at the screen.

“I don’t know, honestly.” you respond and you were about to ignore the call and turn off the phone when he speaks again.

“Answer it.”

“What? Why?”

He looks at you intensely. “Answer it, babe.”

It might have been the way his tone accentuated with the pet name that slipped out of his mouth or the way he continued giving you open-mouthed kisses on your neck and chest, but you obliged. You felt giddy, and nervous by the time you held the gadget on one ear, making sure you won’t make a single noise that would hint that you were being intimate at the moment.

“Hello?”

A voice greets on the other line and you immediately recognize it. From what you could recall, it was someone you met at the bar last night.

“Hey, I thought you’re free tonight?”

You avert your eyes to Saeyoung, who was busying himself with marking your skin or running his lips and tongue on it. Yet, you were quite certain he could hear the conversation very well with the way he ducks his head and refuses to meet your gaze.

“Oh-uhm, sorry, who are you again?” your voice came out breathily more than you intended.

“You forgot? You slept with me last night.”

Both you and Saeyoung froze, thickness suddenly looming in the air around you. It took awhile but he reaches out to grab your phone from your ear and put it away before tackling you to bed, pulling you underneath him as he hovered on top of you.

“Sae-”

“Do you really want to do this with me?” he whispers and that’s when you noticed the hurt in his golden orbs, gleaming beneath the beauty of its color. You thought he was going to be angry at you, but his reaction pained you more.

You nod at him while softly saying, “I’ve never wanted anyone else other than you.”

Your affirmation was all he needed to hold you tight all night and never let you go from now on.

feel free to send requests~ as for birthday dedications, i’ll post the guidelines probably tomorrow or the day after so please do check it out!