#sb is rude to varian and they wake up with their house being absolutely swept

[varibean]

see, i don’t think hugo ever gave up stealing, i think he just got a bit pickier about when he stole and who he stole from 

he’s no longer going to steal from some lost guy asking him for directions or from some lady pushing her cart of wares down the street, or even a guy who’s a bit rude to him on the street 

the two reasons he steals are 

1. when they really deserve it. most of the time not because they’ve slighted him, but because they’ve slighted varain

2. when its funny. 

the second rule is just roger rabbit ass rules, that’s what he follows. stealing a balloon on free balloon day kind of antics

varian is 100% ok with these options but has to act like he isn’t so that eugene doesn’t get on his ass about it

as for the first one it’s usually just some guy is rude to varian and the next day hugo is presenting his boyfriend with the guy’s fancy pocket watch. 

he brings varian pretty shiny trinkets like a deeply in love crow

varian, admiring all of the pretty things that hugo has taken from assholes and given to him and putting on the newest necklace he’s gotten: stealing is wrong or something like that, yada yada.

hugo: I could give it all back. 

varian: No, this looks great on me.