#senseless cracked commentary squad

[unagidevi]

YOUTUBER AU REBRANDING!

Spikes 'n Commentary (Previously Senseless Cracked Commentary Squad)

Basically I started to remake everyone's sheets and stuff. Starting with Error, Nightmare and Cross as per usual: we have the Commentary squad.

Ezra Philip - Error Sans, a Layze based commentary youtuber that's Canadian

Cace Levi - Cross Sans, A Kurtis Conner/Chad Chad type commentary youtuber that's irish

Issac Soar - Nightmare Sans, a FilmCooper based youtuber that's british

[silhouetteofagirl]

Catalyst (from A Study in Synonyms)

A short story about how Sigyn totally fell hard and fast for Sigrun while still being madly in love with Alistair where time is wobbly and verb tenses don't matter. Again, briefly featuring a dog name the Lord of Farts.

Talk about a rare OT3.

Read On AO3

To any human or elf or spirit in a dead man’s body, for that matter, watching the two dwarves meet, they would have thought that they were old friends finally reunited.  For as soon as they had been able to parse what they were seeing, Sigyn had rushed into the fight with her daggers drawn.  It was contrary to her usual behavior, rushing headlong towards the darkspawn who were trying to recapture the other woman.  They had followed suit, of course, Justice bringing his great sword down and rending the hurlock grabbing at the woman nearly in two.  Once the other dwarf had regained her footing, she had joined Sigyn in attacking another.

They have never known the warden-commander to be cruel, but she tears the darkspawn with her daggers.  Later, she will tell Nathaniel that she prefers archery because it makes death a bit less personal, her daggers are only meant as a last resort and for those few personal kills she wishes to make.  Nathaniel will recall this fight and it will make sense, but for now, her brutality contrasts starkly with the woman who had killed a tainted human with as much mercy as she could manage when he had asked for relief.

The explanation that the two women new each other might explain her next actions as well.  When the last darkspawn falls with a gurgle, Sigyn is pulling off her helmet and grabbing the other dwarf by her shoulders.

“You’re alright.  I’ve got you, sister.” she says, her low voice is panicked.  “They won’t—”

“They got the whole legion! I was the only one who escaped—”

“Women?”

“Yes.”

“Ancestors take their souls.”

“And quickly.”

The exchange is rushed and the other dwarf removes her helm as well.  They bear the same brand on their faces, but hers is littered with tattoos.  There’s a moment of silence between them where they just look.  They contrast each other, Sigyn is dark with her chin-length hair and tanned skin.  Aside from her brand, the only markings on her skin are the faint holes where jewelry goes when she’s not fighting.  The stranger is fair with clear blue eyes and her dark hair is pulled back into small ponytails.  Whatever they see in the other, it seems to reassure them because then the other dwarf is cradling Sigyn’s head between her hands and Sigyn rests her forehead against hers.

“They won’t get you and if they do, I would give you a swift death should they try to turn you.” Sigyn words are spoken firmly and solemnly.

“Thank you.  I would try to return the favor.” She replies.  Then they part and the moment is over.  A look of comprehension crosses her face and she smiles, “Hey, you’re the duster who became the warden!”

“Better than dust town.” she shrugs and wipes off her daggers.

“I know a man who would give his teeth for your signature.”

“Teeth aren’t that valuable.  Don't know if I should be offended or complimented.” Sigyn frowns at a thought.  “Unless you’re using the teeth as a base for the upper castes…”

The other dwarf nods in confirmation.  “Doesn’t matter, though.  They won’t want to see me back.”

“Legion?”

“Yeah, these darkspawn are—”

“Wait, do you two know each other?” Anders can’t seem to contain himself as he butts into the conversation.

“Oh, stone! I’m Sigyn Brosca.” she holds out her arm.

The other dwarf grasps her forearm and her smile makes Sigyn fight a blush, “Sigrun.  Though now that you are a warrior caste, you sure you want to be touching a duster like me?”

Sigyn rolls her eyes and squeezes her arm, “I’m still a brand, and worse, a surfacer.  Besides, in Legion your caste means nothing.”

“I suppose that’s true.  Still, you can’t blame me.  You’re a hero.” Sigrun laughs at Sigyn’s grimace.  Then they let go of each other.  Sigyn quickly makes introductions, though Justice takes a few moments to explain.

“But he looks like—”

“I know, but reanimated corpse, not—”

“Corpse walking.”

“Yeah,” Once whatever clarification had just been made, Sigrun tells her story to the crew.

Much later, when Sigyn is curled up with Alistair and shakily telling him about how much she loves Sigrun, he’ll comment that it seems to him that it was almost love at first sight, “or should I say first fight?” She will groan and punch him lightly in the stomach.  He’ll moan in mock pain, but then she will straddle his lap and kiss him senseless.  Alistair will feel just as cherished as the woman his love is describing.

They push into the darkspawn breeding grounds, leaving Nathaniel behind to travel back to Vigil’s Keep.  “I need you to live, Nathaniel.  You are best suited of all of us to run the Keep.” Sigyn tells him softly as they prepare to chase after the lost legion.

“What’s Vigil’s Keep?” Sigrun asks as Nathaniel leaves them.

“The humans gave me my own fortress if you can believe it.” Sigyn laughs humorlessly.  “Keep trying to make me get to judge all these human affairs.  Me, a duster, being asked should we hang a man who stole some grain so he could feed his family.”

Sigrun’s blue eyes widen and she scoffs, “Really? Ancestor’s beards.”

“Keep telling people I’m a duster, not the best equipped to judge, at least not in the way they want me to.”  Talk becomes scarce after that as they find a survivor of the Legion, crawling away from the old taig.

Their mood is tense and somber, even Anders keeps his commentary to a minimum.  Eventually, he will piece together what had caused their fearless commander to jump at shadows.  And when he does, he will understand why both Sigyn and Sigrun murmur a quick blessing when they drop the lyrium bomb onto the nest of brood mothers and their clutch.

There isn’t a lot of time for Sigrun to fully settle at Vigil’s Keep.  In fact, there isn’t even time for her to complete the joining before Amaranthine is being sieged, but there is enough time for her to marvel at the place.  It’s not that Sigyn has gotten used to Vigil’s Keep and its splendor, it’s more that she can’t stop looking at it as a project.  Sigrun, however, can see the marvels and experience the wonder Sigyn can’t.

“I’ve never seen so many books in my life!” she exclaims at one of the many alcoves of books that are littered about the fortress.

“That isn’t even all of them.  We have a full library.  It’s just a mess after the explosion.  You can read them if you like.  I mean, if you were taught.”

“Only recently, but I did learn! Varlan, a legion squad mate, helped me.  Just had the one book.” A sad look crosses her face, “Didn’t think I’d outlive him…”

“Tell me about him?” she asks softly.

“There’s not much to say.  He wanted to die in battle, in glory.” her voice catches and Sigyn places a hand on her shoulder.

“It sounds like he got what he wanted.”

If Sigrun sniffles while looking at books so her face is turned, that’s her prerogative.  In the future, Sigyn will wipe tears away as she cries freely and Sigrun will return the favor.

But now Sigrun inhales sharply and says, “Yeah, he did, I guess.” Sigrun quickly wipes her eyes and turns to smile at Sigyn.  “What about you? You need lessons?”

“No,  I’m not great at reading, but my sister taught me the basics.” At Sigrun’s quirked eyebrow, she nods and leans against the opposite side of the book nook.  “Noble hunter, so she was worth teaching.  When we had a quiet moment, she would teach me.  But I got a lot better when I reached the surface.  Once it got out that I was barely proficient at reading, Alistair got me a few books and carried them.  Morrigan helped me the most though, it was easier reading with her.  If she judged me, she didn’t let me know.”

“You mention him a lot, this Alistair.” Sigrun has turned back to the bookshelves and is looking through them.  She’s been pulling out books, skimming the covers, and putting them back.  “Hm… there seems to be a lot of books about mabari war hounds.  Huh, what’s this?” Sigrun opens the book and quickly closes shut with a snap and a blush.  “Oh, that is a romance.  I dunno what an antivan milk sandwich is but— Aren’t we talking about something else? This Alistair fellow?”

Sigyn laughs softly and looks pensively as Sigrun continues on her search.  “Alistair’s mine.  He’s a fellow grey warden, very sweet and funny.  He always knows how to cheer me up or just offer comfort when I need it.  He’s actually one of the first humans I befriended when I hit the surface.”

“He’s human? Is he at least a short one?” Sigrun glances over her shoulder at the warden who is worrying a plain gold band around her finger.

Sigyn flushes scarlet and shakes her head, “Ah, no.  He’s actually quite tall.  This is beside the point.  I’m okay at reading, but not the best.  My writing is terrible, I will be forever grateful for Nathaniel.  He, at least, knows how to do this whole noble aspect of being an arl and his handwriting is beautiful.”

“Nathaniel is tall,” Sigrun says conversationally as she puts another book back into the shelf.

Sigyn stammers, “Alistair is taller and Nathaniel is lovely, but no.”

Sigrun cracks a grin, “I kid.  Just wondering if you like… height or if you are also open to folks more on your level.” Sigyn is still blushing as Sigrun gives another cursory glance at a book.  “Oh, this book looks interesting! It’s about human lore, maybe I’ll be able to understand more of their turns of phrase.  Anyway, Commander, don’t let me keep you.”

In the not too distant future, when Alistair comes to Vigil’s Keep unannounced to surprise Sigyn, he’ll meet Sigrun first.  She’ll be carrying a small pile of books, out of her armor with her hair released from its usual ponytails.  She will be the only person he can find this late in the night.  He, on the other hand, will be worn from the road and holding a very enthusiastic Lord of Farts who wants nothing more than to explore this new location.

“Pardon me,” Alistair will ask “do you know where I can find the Warden-Commander?”

She’ll look surprised and adjust the pile of the books so they rest on her hip, “Oh, didn’t no one tell you?”

“Tell me what?”  Alistair will note the expression of worry flicker across her face.  Trepidation will climb into his chest with icy fingers.  It had been a while since Sigyn’s last letter, but he knows just how long it takes her to write one.  He hadn’t been worried about the gap, especially since she had reported the death of the broodmother, until now.

“She’s sick and isn’t allowed to see anyone. Herbalist’s orders, not that she’s listening to them very well or keeping her from doing work.”  Sigrun will shake her head fondly.

Relief will flood him and he’ll chuckle, “That sounds exactly like Sigyn.  One time she got sick and we happened to be resting out at an inn.  One of the few times we spent any significant time in a town, but despite the fact she was exhausted, she adamant we leave.  Didn’t even listen to Wynne’s instance that she give herself time, but then I started to sneeze, hazard of sharing a bed, and then she was alright with spending a few days resting. Thank the Maker, I thought I was going to have to sit on her and I’m much heavier than she is.”  He’ll notice about halfway through his rambling story the look of comprehension on her face and raise an eyebrow at her.

“Stone, she wasn’t kidding about the tall part.” She’ll mutter to herself.  She’ll then perk up and smile at him, “I’m Sigrun. You must be Alistair.”

“Ah yes, I should have known. Your tattoos are very nice.” His next words will be hesitant as he won’t be sure what to make of Sigrun in this moment, “Did she mention me?”

In a moment, much, much later from this future moment, she will admit to him that she was trying to not resent him.  But nevertheless, in this moment, she will laugh softly, “Of course she mentioned you.  I was just going to take these books to her, walk with me.  But yes, while she’s reserved, it’s kinda hard to miss with how she blushes and worries that ring of hers. I just usually only get tall as a descriptor of you before she’s blushing too much to continue.”

“That sounds entirely unlike her. I’m the blusher.” he will say.

“Really? Maybe I’m just good at making her blush.”  In that same much, much later future, he will admit that this is when he started to feel the pangs of jealousy.  She’ll be surprised to hear that as it was clear to her just how thoroughly in love Sigyn was with him.  But before Sigrun can respond, Sigyn will sit straight up in bed, look at them blearily, and ask a question.  It will make absolutely no sense as she is still asleep.  They will tell her in unison to go back to bed.  She will then pout and her next sentence will make a modicum more of sense.  They will share a look and a smile.  Alistair will help pull Sigrun to her feet so they can crawl into bed with her just so Sigyn will lie back down.

But this time when they enter her room, there will be no greeting, no garbled language, just Sigyn asleep in a chair by the fire with paperwork scattered on the ground around her.  Sigrun will sigh fondly and put down the stack of books on the cluttered desk while Alistair will be frozen for a few moments looking at the woman he loves.  While he is temporarily paralyzed, Sigrun will gather the paperwork from the ground and place it on top of the books.

“Thank the ancestors she’s finally asleep.” She’ll murmur to Alistair as she makes to leave the room. She’ll give Sigyn a wistful look and then inform Alistair where she can be found should they need anything.  He’ll nod numbly and she’ll close the door behind them.

Then Alistair will suddenly be able to move again and he will command the Lord to sit and be calm.  Then he’ll cross to her sleeping form and just watch her.  Her nose is pink, her mouth is open, and she’s drooling slightly.  Alistair will still have to fight tears at seeing her for the first time in almost a year.  When he pushes her hair behind her near, she’ll stir a bit but remain asleep.  He will smile both at her and the row of earrings revealed, still defiant to high society’s standards even when sick.

He’ll press a kiss to her forehead and murmur soothing words as he gently lifts her so he can carry her to bed.  Sigyn will surface just enough to ask in a scratchy voice, “Alistair?”

“Yes, my dear.” He’ll reply as he puts her on the bed.

She’ll hum and mutter, “This is a nice dream.”  His heart will clench as she then snuffles and curls onto her side.

Then he’ll strip out of his travel clothes and pat the foot of the bed so the Lord of Farts will know he is welcome.  Alistair will, finally, crawl into bed with her and pull the covers over the both of them.  He will marvel that even after all this time, she curls into his warmth and how well she fits into his arms.  Silent tears will fall down his face as he presses a kiss into her shoulder and she lets out a small snore.  Eventually, he will fall asleep and in a few hours he will wake up to a very sick and very confused Sigyn.  Despite her croaked warnings, he will kiss her thoroughly and enjoy the proceeding week of sickness as an excuse to stay in bed with her.  But that is not now.

Now there is horde of darkspawn attacking Amarinthe and Sigrun is giving her a reassuring smile.  She’ll die for the cause of the Legion and, by extension, the Grey Wardens; however, Sigyn cannot shake the feeling that Sigrun will die for her.  The warden commander will take her newest and most enthusiastic recruit with her as they go to save the city and hopes it will not cost her life.  They barely know each other now, but something about Sigrun’s honest wonder makes Sigyn’s breath catch and her soul ache.  Given the chance, she could fall in love with Sigrun’s sincerity and, eventually, she will.