#sentences like “I'm not an expert on X's gender but if anyone is it's probably X?” serve me well

[onbearfeet]

Met a new neighbor tonight, started talking about work.

Me: So yeah, I'm trying to work my way toward something more stable, especially because I have a queer nibling in Texas who might need a place to land.

Neighbor: NIBLING?

Me: Yes?

Neighbor: Is that one of your millennial words?

Me: (wondering what age I look rn because "millennial" sometimes means "kid" and it's too dark to see the gray in my hair) Not ... really? It's a gender-neutral term for, like, nieces and nephews. Like sibling, you know? If you have a brother and a sister, then you have siblings?

Neighbor: Yeah, but what's a nibling?

Me: In this case, it's one of my brother's kids. He has four of them.

Neighbor: ???

Me: One of them is ... kinda figuring some stuff out, gender-wise, so I'm using gender-neutral language for them until they ask me to use something different. Just giving them space, you know? They're a kid, they need some time. So: my brother has four kids, and I have three nephews and a nibling. (Decides not to mention bff's kids, whom I have also adopted as niblings.)

Neighbor: That's...

Me: (smiles desperately)

Neighbor: That's really kind of you. I've never even thought of that. That's a really good way to let them figure it out for themselves, you know?

Me: Exactly! It's not like I can figure it out for them, right? So I'm just holding space for however it shakes out.

Neighbor: They're lucky to have you.

Me: I'm trying. That's all I can do, right?

Neighbor: Nibling. That's a GOOD word.

Me: Yeah, I like it.