#seriously everywhere u go it just stinks So Bad

[ladyboltontoyou]

Arthur Morgan x Reader: Fakeout Makeout

Ask: idk if ur requests are open or closed (?) but ..... fakeout makeout trope with arth u r .... bl ease (also don’t feel pressured to write this tho!!! have a good day💓)

Warning: Cursing.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan x Reader

A/N: I hope this is what you meant by fakeout makeout, I’ve never heard that term before but I’m familiar with the trope itself. When I researched further I saw that normally the two people kissing hate each other, so I’m assuming that’s what you want. If you didn’t want them to hate each other’s guts send me another ask and I might re-write it for you.

How did you find yourself here, in a wet dark alleyway in Saint Denis spying on a group of Cornwall’s hired guns? Why was it you who had to go? Ms. Grimshaw could have picked anyone else to go with Arthur but for some reason she chose you. Why did it have to be you? Didn’t she know you and Arthur despised each other?

It was his fault. You didn’t have a problem with him when you first met him, but then he started teasing you. The jests didn’t bother you at first but eventually, you started to think he was actually mocking you. What you used to think of as playful teasing started hurting your feelings and you took it to heart. One day Hosea was rounding people up for a hunting party, and when you offered Arthur laughed and made a remark about how you couldn’t shoot a deer if it was a foot in front of you. So you decided from there on out you wanted nothing to do with him. 

Yet here you were, the two of you pressed against a cold brick wall listening to the men around the corner. They weren’t talking about anything particularly interesting, just small things about business that you knew already. You would have killed them if you weren’t in the middle of town. Plus, there were five of them. Not exactly a fair match.

It was hard standing so close to Arthur. You felt your entire left side tingling, but not in a good way. The urge to shove him away from you was strong. Why was he breathing like that? If he was any louder the whole town would hear. And why did he smell like cologne? It smelt awful. Or maybe it was your hatred for him that made it stink. 

You sighed quietly and tried not to get too annoyed. The things that bothered you shouldn’t. In reality, there was nothing wrong with his cologne or the way he was breathing. When you dislike someone so much you get annoyed about the little things that normally wouldn’t notice at all.

Suddenly you heard a drunk man stumble into a group of barrels at the entrance to the alley, knocking them over and spilling water everywhere. He wobbled back onto his feet and left as quickly as he came.

“You hear that?” 

The men were up on their feet faster than you could blink. There was no way you could get out of there fast enough without being suspicious. If you tried to walk away they would stop you, question you and recognize your faces. If you ran away they would surely run after you and undoubtedly catch you, there were five of them. Maybe the two of you could split up-

Arthur moved from your side so he was standing directly in front of you. “Play along.” He whispered, taking his hat off and letting it fall beside you. Then he did something unexpected. He put his right hand on your cheek and the other at your waist, pushing himself flush against you. Your back dug uncomfortably into the wall and you cried out in surprise, but his mouth covered yours before you could make too much noise.

By now a man had come to check, he walked around the corner shortly after your lips met. Now you realized why Arthur had kissed you. Maybe he wasn’t so brainless after all.

You decided to play along, kissing him back and even moaning loudly into it. Your hands ran through his hair and he picked you up, pushing you back against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. It was dark enough so your faces were well hidden, hopefully you just looked like a drunk couple fooling around.

Arthur took it a step farther and started taking his jacket off causing the man to chuckle. 

“You two, get out of here.” He said firmly and crossed his arms, still laughing to himself. “The saloons across the street.” 

“Sorry, sir.” Arthur slurred with a fake accent and parted from the kiss, making sure to keep his face lowered. “Got a little lost on… on the way… from the bar.” You grabbed Arthurs hat from the ground and put it on your head to hide your hair. You doubted they’d recognize that but you were taking no chances. 

“Thanks, mister.” You slurred in the best drunk voice you could muster. 

The man nodded and walked back to the other four. “Just two drunkards dry humping each other in the alley.” 

You took the chance and ran out, not stopping until you reached your horses a little while down the street. 

You wanted to insult him, call his plan stupid or slap him for kissing you without consent. But as much as you wanted to you also wanted to be mature about it and speak to him as little as possible. Though you had to admit, he was an amazing kisser. And he didn’t taste bad either, like you would have imagined. It was probably the peaches he had eaten on the ride over. 

“Sorry about that, know you don’t like me but I couldn’t think of much else to do.” 

You glanced over at Arthur riding alongside you. Was he seriously apologizing? “Well, it got the job done.” You sighed and looked back to the road ahead of you. ‘And I kind of liked it.’ What? No! Why did you think that? 

“Sure did. Probably wouldn’t if you hadn’t played along the way you did, almost thought you liked it.” Was he reading your mind?

Your blood boiled when he chuckled. “In your dreams. I only did so because your acting was awful.” A lie, but whatever.

He chuckled again and shook his head. “Now, why do you despise me so much? You weren’t like that when you first came in. I’d go as far as sayin’ you were friendly. Not friendly friendly, don’t think I’m insinuating nothin’.”

You furrowed your brows and looked at him again. “Seriously? You mock me the whole time you know me and think I’m just going to be alright with that?”

“Mock you?” He sounded genuinely confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Please, don’t play dumb. You insult me all the time. Over little things.”

Arthur looked confused until he realized what you meant. “You think I’m mocking you? (Y/N), no, I swear… I just give you a hard time sometimes, I don’t truly mean the things I say, I’m just jokin’, that’s all.”

“You don’t joke like that with anyone else in camp.” You said and pulled your reigns back slightly as a rabbit decided to run across the path in front of you, kicking up dust with its little back paws.

He swallowed and tried to think of what to say. He couldn’t just out himself like that, there was no way you liked him back and it would just make things awkward after. You’d hate him even more, or at least that’s what he thought. “Well, you’re not anyone else.” After he said that he cursed himself mentally and looked over the field beside him, trying to act as if he meant nothing. 

But you knew exactly what he meant. You’d be dumb not to. Although you were extremely confused and a little pissed off, it made sense. He was teasing you because he liked you. You’d do the same things when you liked someone. You did it with him at first until you started getting upset.

You had no idea what to say, so for a while, you said nothing. In those few minutes, Arthur was in hell, his mind a thunderstorm with dozens of thoughts. He wished he’d never said it. He took your silence as rejection. 

The next thing you said changed his mind completely. 

You looked at him with a smile and spoke in a playful tone. “Huh. Well, Arthur, it’s not the best way to let a lady know you like her, you did it a little too much. Guess that’s because you haven’t got much of a brain. If you even have one. Do you have one?”

Arthur smiled.

[generallynerdy]

Tiny (Bucky Barnes X Male!Reader)

Summary: Tony Stark and Bruce Banner have one rule-- well, one rule that everyone actually tries to listen to-- in the compound. And that’s not to mess around in their lab. But when the cat’s away, the mice will play. Then, one of the mice will get hit with a shrink ray and actually become mouse-sized.

Requested by HauntRavensong (AO3): I had a prompt in mind. Only if you don't mind and I know you're busy. The prompt is that male reader (again, only if you don't mind) and Bucky are playing with the electronics in the lab and reader gets shrunk so Bucky takes up the mantle of watching out for him until it gets reversed. Maybe some snark and teasing from any of the others about the situation :3

Key: (Y/N) - your name

Warnings: Cursing probably, what’s an infinity wade

Word Count: 1,470

Note: i used this thing called Fighter’s Block (google it) and wrote this in like 20 minutes??? holy shit. also babe i will write whatever pronouns reader u want, i am physically incapable of being consistent anyway lmao

Tony had exactly one rule in the compound. Well, admittedly, he had a lot of rules. But there was only one that the team actually paid attention to. Tony and Bruce were very touchy about their labs and their rule was that no one-- no one-- was allowed to mess with stuff in the lab. Of course, it's the Avengers, so one would think they have the sense to listen to each other, at least on occasion.

You are an Avenger and you know this to be false.

If there is one team in the world that won't listen to orders, it's them.

One day, you and one of your best friends of the team, Bucky, were bored. You were bored out of your minds, because no bad guys decided to come out of hiding for the day and none of your teammates were around to entertain you. Bucky wasn't allowed out of the compound since the whole Civil War incident, so there wasn't much to do otherwise. That said, you probably shouldn't have agreed to his idea of sneaking into Tony and Bruce's lab, no matter how bored you were. But you agreed anyway.

Most of the lab's toys were pretty standard, but once you figured out Tony's passcode to the back part of the lab-- it was Morgan, of course-- things got way more fun.

"What does this look like to you?" Bucky hummed, holding up a box painted in Cap's signature colours.

You shrugged. "Something for Cap probably."

"Well, yeah, but what does he have in mind for the punk?" He teased.

Weapons were plentiful in the lab, but so were suits of armour. You found a few updated War Machine sets, a few bow and arrow upgrades for Clint, and even an anesthetic meant for the Hulk. A label warned that it hadn't been tested yet, though.

"Woah," Bucky breathed out, holding up a ray-gun looking thing. "What's this?"

"Freeze ray?" You asked.

He laughed. "Wouldn't put it past Stark. It doesn't really look like one, though, does it?"

You walked over to him and plucked the gun from his hands, turning it around with curiosity. "Weird," you muttered to yourself.

Upon later consideration, you decided you should've been safer when handling a gun. Alas, present you had the genius idea to look down the barrel directly, trying to get an idea of what powered it.

Then, it shot you straight in the face and you blacked out.

When you came to, presumably hours later, you could hear nothing but Bucky freaking out. He was talking to himself and pacing, from what you could hear, but when you opened your eyes…

You weren't sure where you were. You were on metal ground and something akin to a giant stapler was beside you, but it was all you could see before you looked up. Holy. Shit.

Bucky was a lot taller than you remembered. In fact, you didn't remember anyone ever being that tall.

"Uh...Buck?" You asked, looking down at your hands.

He turned to you in a sort of slow-motion movement. "Oh thank God, you're awake. Are you okay? Except for the tiny thing, I mean..."

"Tiny...?" You looked down at yourself and suddenly it all made sense. "A SHRINK RAY!?"

"It's okay! It's okay!" Bucky instantly said. "Don't freak out. I'm gonna go find Stark and we'll figure everything out. Let's get going."

"Oh no," you whined as he held out his hand for you to climb onto. "The others are never gonna let this one go."

"What do you MEAN (Y/N) shrunk himself?" Tony raved over the phone.

Bucky sighed. "Just what I said. He pointed the gun at his face--"

Bruce, who was standing beside Tony from what you could see on the screen, sighed and rubbed his face. "We have one rule, you guys. One, single rule."

"Sorry!" You squeaked, having to shout for them to hear you. "We were really bored and, well, Tony's passcode is like the easiest thing ever."

"I'll kill you," he hissed. "I'll kill both of you."

"Whatever," Bucky said, diverting the conversation. "Just come back here and fix him already."

"That's gonna be a problem, guys."

"Uh oh," you said as soon as the words left his mouth.

Bucky clenched his free fist, seeing as his left was holding you up for them to see. "What kind of problem are we talking?"

"We just got called to a situation out here," Tony explained. "HYDRA is all over this stinking place."

Bruce chimed in. "We won't be free to go until it's cleared up. We don't know how long it'll take."

Bucky facepalmed. "Great. Just...great."

For the next few days, it was you and Bucky against the world. And it wasn't a pretty world to say the least.

Being tiny was much more difficult than people gave it credit for and not 5'2" kind of tiny, but more like a few inches kind of tiny. How Scott Lang ever managed it, you have no idea. Everything you wanted to do required help, because everything you needed was made for big people.

Even making a cup of coffee just to feel life in your veins in the morning was a pain.

Everyone thought it was pretty hilarious, too, except for Bucky. Sam would burst into laughter at the sight of you jumping up and down on the TV remote just to get to the channel you wanted. Thor thought you putting PopTarts in the toaster was pretty great, too. Bucky was the only one who took your frustration seriously.

In fact, he was the one to come up with a solution.

"Now, I'm not saying it's ideal..." He started.

"Please," you interrupted, "I just need to not have to ask someone to do everything for me anytime I need something."

Okay, so his plan did include that, but it was a specific person: him.

He wore shirts with pockets. It was a miraculous little thing, but it made your whole life terrifyingly simple. He carried you everywhere and anywhere, all over the compound.

After talking to Scott, he even had a few more ideas. There was a little makeshift bed for you on his nightstand, just in case of midnight emergencies, that was made out of a shoe. Scott gave you a few of his shrinking disks to shrink down some silverware and other necessities, so eating became impossibly easier. Admittedly, you had gone swimming in a cup of coffee more than once. Nobody thought that was funny. They either thought it was relatable, like Peter and Shuri, or kind of disgusting.

But Buck stayed with you the whole time.

Four days into it, you were sleeping peacefully when he poked at your shoe-bed.

"Leave me alone," you muttered into the blankets. "I don't wanna get up."

"C'mon, (Y/N)," he said. "You've made it this far. Just give it a few more days."

You groaned. "If this has to go on for a few more days, I will die. If Sam has Redwing chase me around anymore I'm just gonna jump off the roof."

"Hey, don't talk like that." He huffed at your silence. "(Y/N), you're not dying."

"Really?" You asked drowsily. "Because it feels like it."

Bucky sighed and, despite your protests, grabbed your PJ shirt between his index finger and his thumb, pulling you from the bed. He held you up in front of his face. "(Y/N)," he chided.

"I don't like being manhandled," you muttered mutinously, crossing your arms.

The soldier gave a devilish grin. "Speaking of being manhandled...I know how to cheer you up."

Bucky knew the way to your heart. A good movie and great snacks was an instant win. Of course, it helped that the movie was Night at the Museum, then the second one, then the third one after it. He just knew all the ways to get you to like him and, to be honest, you liked him a lot more than you would like to admit.

Anyway, you really related to the tiny cowboy and his Roman boyfriend. Being tiny sucked.

Nobody understood the struggle like they did. Maybe it was why Bucky wanted to watch the movie with you. That was sweet of him.

You were just finishing up the third movie when FRIDAY spoke over the PA system.

"Sergeant Barnes, Agent (Y/N)," she said. "Boss said to tell you he's home."

"OH THANK GOD!" You exclaimed. You leapt from the edge of the popcorn bowl by instinct and landed on Bucky's hand, which was outstretched for you already.

Okay, so maybe you had gotten used to the tiny thing. And maybe you had gotten used to being with Bucky 24/7. But your point still stood. Being tiny sucked.

Masterlist

[alexjester]

Worst things about the West midlands.

Full of unfriendly, judgemental cunts who think their shit doesn't stink and will try whatever they can to rob you, unfriendliest place in the UK by miles

Avoid places like Ladywood, Shard End, Perry Barr, Lozells, Handsworth. All those areas have been ruined by Labour Party MPs and Birmingham City's Labour Council. Those areas are known to have gangs, high unemployment, welfare dependency, poor schools, housing and health services. Ladywood is an area known for having the highest number fatherless families on welfare. So if you like single mothers with 5+ children, then Ladywood is the place to be.

Too many beggars! I was begged three times by different people each time in multiple places in the city centre! I was even begged in M&S in the train station! Far too many ugly looking flats that accumulate Birmingham's skyline, too many immigrants, tired looking buildings, the accents are quite dreadful, the list goes on...

I've travelled extensively all over Curling Turd Island U.K and once again it just goes to show that you can polish a turd, but in B'Ham only in places!! First impression's when I fell off the train at the labyrinthine maze that is Moor Street Station was how warped everyone looked, especially in and around Pidgeon 'Ole Park. Must of been years of abuse at the hands of vile tasting tap water (filtered from the canal of dead things and chemical waste, no doubt). Tapwater that just makes you fart and shit all day long without no sign of giving up (Aston). Also how unadulteratedly dangerous and awful the pavements and roads are here and how badly planned "Sloppy Second's" is on the whole. A big no no for visitor's/guests. Everything in this binned off, trolleyed country is only in car-distance, as per usual, and OMG what an infested shit'ole - rat's, wasps everywhere, ant's nests, aliens from outer space and Zombie's everywhere!! Progress is so slow in B'ham, is Sloppy Seconds therefore by dinosaurs? The main urban sprawl High Streets are caked with Zombie's walking up and down all day with their hand's out, looking for something (for nothing) -the nanny-stater's have the wrong shit-trousers on all day with only dick-pence to offer anyone. I want to get out!

The accent. Is it even English? I thought Ozzy Osbourne's speech was incomprehensible because it was affected by years of drug abuse...until I moved to Birmingham.

All the lads speak like Benny from Crossroads and the girls are goddam hideous and go out sat night with all their fat on show, fat thighs in mini skirts, love handles bulging over waistlines and massive arses in tight clothing - not a good look. Brums have no class or etiquite

OMG where do I start - driving there is hell, brum accent makes anyone u speak to appear as thick as shit, hardly anyone has a proper job an loads on the dole, very dirty, chavs chavs and more chavs, pigeon shit all over the place, beggars, whores and pimps at every corner. Basically an ugly uninspiring city inhabited by unemployed losers.

what exactly is there about birmingham to make one jealous - this is obviously a joke - go to manchester, edinburgh, london, bristol instead.

Birmingham actually is the Second City. It didn't gain that name through through no reason at all. Don't believe otherwise. Mancs are just jealous that Brum got the name before they did. This is one of the worst things about Birmingham. Or should that be about Manchester? Hrrrm.

Being the victim of homophobic verbal abuse on the train into the station when I'd been enjoying myself previously in the modern and enlightened city that is Manchester. Well done you two prats/bigots - you must feel really clever- I just feel sorry for you.

erdington high street oh what a joy to walk down there on a saturday after the alkies and bag heads have finished with it . it reminds me of the thriller video except a 100 times more paranoid.and the bromford estate ive seen better estates in the third world.cheesy kevs chavy daves and sharons with the standard " ennit " nosestud ,saxo drivers,bmw innit drivers,and them divs who wear coats on hot days with there farahs on and a key chain and greased hair who aint had the ride in years..

it is full of windowlickers

Manchester IS the second city. Brummies and their surrounding counties that use the city need to come out of denial and actually look at the facts. Birmingham is a disgrace: right wing, old fashioned and very very unfriendly.

unfriendly people, with an old school culture all of their own - most of the midlands is like this - with the exception of nottingham

Dreary, dull city in the middle of three old school, old fashioned counties, unfriendly people, junkies, lack of fashion sense and grooming.

Teen Culture ( A unch of Weemo Teeny Boppers dancing to Panic! At the Disco and the fucking Kooks.

sty andrews. a piss poor imitation of legoland

crowds, ignorance

lots an lots of pigeons that wait til ur a few inches away before flyin in ur face lol

public transport

Kings Heath High Street: More nutters per metre then Bedlam on a full moon.

The people - rude, ignorant, arrogant, unfriendly, cocky ... not nice. I hardly speak to them, as I hate the accent as well. Black Country accent IS totally different - better, as we don't have extended vowels that go on forever !!!!!!!!!!

The Brummies - arrogant, ignorant, rude, impatient & think they're better than anyone else 'cause they live in Britain's 2nd city. Erdington - what an area, never realised such bad areas existed. At least I never have to go out with my hair brushed, otherwise they all stare. The homeless people - why so many & where do they go when the change shift at Snow Hill ?

More Area more "chav's" and/or "Gansta's"

homeless, someone please look after them., they need our help

few idiots

Chavscum and 'PUNK' wannabes will always be the worst. Yes, Birmingham is still quite dirty, but most of the dirty dirty bits have been filtered out, unlike Manchester... ughh.

rain!

Birmingham is crap. Traffic congestion means it takes forever to get anywhere, and it's a nightmare getting a taxi home from town. The place has no character, and Brummies moan constantly. Everything here is mainstream, and there is no real alternative culture. The people who like the place are those who haven't lived anywhere else. Believe me, are much better places to be.

I'm amazed at the positive things I read here. Believe me the only people who like Birmingham are those who have never lived anywhere else and consequently don't know any better. It takes forever to get anywhere because of the congestion, and poor public transport, most of it is ugly in the extreme, and everyone moans constantly. Unless you are utterly mainstream, it's just plain dull.

My beautiful DMR hardtail getting stolen - theiving chavs!!!

i have to disagree with kingstanding being one of the nicer areas in birmingham, i should know, i live there

the slowly tightening grip of the cheese extreme that rules the Broad Street night life - lets hope it shoots itself in the foot and peeps start to drift away from the flock in search of fresher, hipper beats!

The modern Christmas tree outside St Martins Church (in the Bull Ring). A traditional tree would have been more appropriate

Plastic Paddy Pubs, Corporate Pubs. Deafening bands with little or no talent and deaf soundmen. The Jam House - load of bollocks prices run by conmen - Jools should be ashamed! Look what they did to Ronnie Scotts!

Being from a place where your accent is constantly being mistaken for the black country accent (its a completly differrent dialect and place, arghhh) and people who think that Manchester is the 2nd city when its bloody well not!!!

too much violence, street robbery, and smackheads.

Kevins and sharons!!!!!

er....Trans?

Dont worry about there being a selfridges in the Bull Ring Centre - there is gonna be a Bear Factory store there - definately a good shop to go to for everyone!

The homeless people on Broad Street

Overcrowding, congestion and too much concrete

Hip Hop, d&b, alternative scene isn't that good - it's all about Broad Street. Homeless people - it seems to me loads of them have better trainers than me and are just plain rude if you don't have any money to give them!

New Street Station and the Palasades.

birmingham lives in the shadow of london too much, but shouldn't! it may be our second city in size but difinetly not in heart!!!

The problem is someones bound to get shot up at the bloody ice rink my brother nearly did.

there seems to be a good amount of style-conscious people in birmingham but having said that, there are (young) people who expect to be taken seriously whilst wearing their adidas poppers tucked into their nike socks and sporting flourescent orange trainers. (all i have to say about them is 'no'. no no no no no no no.) despite the fact that theres a lot of inter-racial and inter-faith tolerance and acceptance in birmingham, there is some amount of discrimination, although not just racism - but the culprits are the ones who wear their tracksuit trousers tucked into their socks, so you've got to ask yourself whether or not they can help themselves, really......

the victorian terraces, burberry cap sporting fools, woodsurfing wankers, goths and freaks( their parents hate them and they blame everyone else), the oasis market, plankriders, skateboarders, jitters, er anythin else to call this fraternity?? oh yeah, tossers. i think thats it. and that man (you know who you are, lakvir of halesowen college) who cracked one off on the number 9 bus in broad daylight, then unloaded in his bag. dirty bastard.

THE WANABES FROM SOLIHULL THINKIN THERE GOOD WEN THERE NOT! AND LOOKIN AT THE REAL SKATERS LIKE THERE NOTHIN WEN WE REALLY ARE.

pigs

The rubbish that constantly litters the streets, other places

Birmingham is the worst City you can ever dream of living in. I was born in Birmingham and have spent years trying to shake of the misery of Brummiedom. Fights, lads, slappers, concrete, abuse, sexism, racism - need I go on?

Far too many aggressive beggars who are blatantly not homeless and are all mashed off their tits and out looking for cash for their next bag of smack, dodgy geezers in hoods hanging around at night, The Rotunda - it's just goddamn ugly, Travel West Midlands... "bus every 6 minutes" (or more like, "4 buses within 3 minutes, once an hour") - totally unreliable and totally bollocks, too many identically-clothed (Rockport & Kickers) Shazza and Kev gangs (fuck off you no-hopers), the city centre is always being dug up for some unknown reason, people smoking on buses (despite the large "�500 fine" signs, which TWM never enforce), high likelihood of robbery at night in some areas (be very careful and always stay aware of who is around you!)

too many OSP's telling you to be quiet!

bham's known for pocket pickin and druggies and rcism but realy if you keep youre self to youre self its not realy that bad!

where do i start. Theres no country side, everywhere u look u see tarmac and metal. The people are ignorant and no one ever says thanku 2 the bus driver, which really annoys me. Sutton area is full of psychos and people openingly smoke weed on the bus - which then makes the driver get high.Need i say more.

Beggars. If you're shopping, watch your handbags (girls) and wallets (guys).

Kevs and shazzas (townies), crap local radio, kevs, busses are always late, shazzas, broad street (if u like alt music) did i mention the kevs?

it's a big grey concrete mess not pretty, the high street shops like o neill and virgin are expensive

Our terrible spelling.

Birmingham is very dirty, especially Bordesley Green, where I work. Think before you drop litter!

modernisation redevelopment of city not complete till at least 2006 utter chaos street closures etc.

Nothing, birmingham's brilliant, OK maybe too many cars

Kevs! Pack them all up and send them back to Slutton Coldfield where they spawned from. In fact, the whole of Slutton seems like a giant conspiracy at times to undermine Birmingham's healthy anti-Kev attitude. Incidentally, anyone from down around Hodge Hill and Ward End keep your eye on Star City...the Kev Migration seems to be moving in that direction... Anti-Sk8ing-Coppers who confisk8 your board!!!

the chewing gum on the pavement. Street beggars wearing brand new nikes! (???)

it's a pig ugly place

Its lack of individuality sometimes annoys me. Broad Street could be great, but its been bitten by the Chain Pub & Restaurant Bug. I want unique places!! Manchester and London do it - why not Brum!

Traffic jams on the M6!!! They put LA to shame.

Aston V#��@!!!! Apologies to all who have the misfortune to visit the collection of sheds called V#��@ Park, if the council was full of bluenoses the place would be turned into housing.

The annoying Ben Sherman/Hackett/Rockport shirted scum yes you!

Pubs stop serving at 22:50 at the weekend??? But that is England all over The crappy public transport system

The TERRIBLE, DISGUSTING, and downright FRIGHTENING mess of roads and subways and dereliction that is the Bull Ring. The area around the Arcadian, with the gay village and Chinatown, is great but the roads and subways and ramps in between that area and the city square are horrible. Really scary. No thought to pedestrians at all.

People are a bit too "uptight" and need to lighten up, lay back , an' feel them warm rays of heaven on them pasty faces. Maybe have a little glass o' somethin' an' smile a little.,....yooo know whut aah mean!!!!

People who have this Solihull mentality whereby they they keep diassociating Handsworth from Handsworth Wood - both together (I've lived in both) are far more scenic/exciting/historically valuable than some other areas of the city I won't embarrass by naming!! If you're still not convinced, try this - THERE'S NO MORNING RUSH HOUR!!! (We Northsiders spend far less of our ives sitting in our cars / on buses)

The street cleaner at the library. Looks like an elf. Calls you a cunt when you don't do a single thing. Deliberately trashes your bag by pouring water over it. Also very paranoid, he believes that there is a camera hidden in a security light (there is definitely not)

TWM, total rip off of a bus company.

Perry Barr. Its bad. Its worse than bad. Its fucking awful.

Sutton snobs and the University district - well run down.

architecture. neglect of some areas (Digbeth in town has mucho potential town planners). having to listen to prats from completely inferior towns whitter on about crappy brum, when they haven't been there, or never explored when they were.

The buses, operated by Travel West Midlands, which are cack. They don't give change which is as primitive in the sphere of public transport as it is possible to get, and a constant source of annoyance.

Living, or hanging out anywhere near Bournville - the place has no pubs at all due to it being built by the Quaker family that owned Cadburys.

The subways and underpasses. Some are very frightening to walk through alone. Thankfully Birmingham is being 'redesigned' at the moment and it is improving by the day.

The nightlife. It's a bit dead really.

The worst thing? Most of the suburbs. Whilst the City has spent a lot of money and effort into redesigning the Centre for the post-industrial age, most routes out of the city are scattered with dilapidated ex-factories and buildings; some of the residential areas (such as Handsworth or Handsworth Wood) are frightening to be in at night.

Moronic southerners who think Birmingham's a northern shitehole somewhere near Manchester. Wrong - it's a midlands semi-paradise with trees somewhere near Stratford.

Villa fans.

Wost thing about Brum: some of the office blocks are SO gross. Bring 'em down. Good news is that next year the Bull Ring will be bulldozed and replaced by a 300 million development which will boast the only branch of Selfridges outside London. The accent is a pain in the arse, and makes even the most intelligent person sound as thick as shit.

Brum hasn't had a medium sized music venue since the Hummingbird closed down 5 years ago, forcing bands to play in Wolverhampton or Leicester. This seriously hampers local talent (no, not bloody Ocean Colour Scene)and Brum is crying out for a "scene" of some description PLEASE!! The suburbs need some urgent cosmetic attention too and local transport could do with an overhaul s!

Traffic Wardens

The young fisher lads obsession with their fast cars is brain numbing. A quality night out for them consists of driving your fast car round and round the town centre, climaxing in pulling in next to some other young things in their cars in the Balmoor Cemetery carpark. And you can bet they're not there to place flowers on poor old Granny's grave.

Accent, traffic, no one knowing where B'ham is.

Can be a bit scary at night, especially for people from out of town.

lycra clad no hopers

Man U Fans, Blues Fans.

Seriously deranged people appearing on a regular basis, care in the community in action in Birmingham obviously.

The accent.

Private Hire drivers - mostly 'Care in the community' releasees from All Saint's Hospital.