#serpentspiritqueen

[bi-sapphics]

I see and hear you. As a lesbian how do I support bi people better?

thank you, i really appreciate your solidarity. ♡

my best advice would be to just hold biphobia accountable when you see it. considering material reality, it might mean more if you (general lesbian population) do it than me (general bi population). obviously you're here now listening to me but oftentimes we just get dismissed as whining about nothing and/or being lesbophobic. but lesbians listen to other lesbians. for example, i personally am critical of the lesbian masterdoc and the concept of comphet (not against it, i do think it's a real thing, just a little wary) but it ultimately took tribades, another lesbian, to voice agreement in order for the argument to be listened to. that isn't to say it drastically changed anyone's mind, but rather that the post was actually read and at least considered, even if the suggestions were rejected. it's important that lesbians play a part here because it's all turned into this whole ridiculous unrealistic thing where it's almost like only lesbians can hold other lesbians accountable without coming across as bigoted.

with that in mind, please note that i'm not asking you to treat every single little thing like it's biphobia. dissent is not inherently biphobia just because you're not bisexual. if you think critically and can provide reasons and evidence then you shouldn't be dismissed as wrong, although i would say the bi community should be the primary speakers on bi issues so that we don't get spoken over. i trust you to just use common sense. does it sound necessary to defend actions of bi sapphics here, or am i just being performative by assuming this is what i need to do? is this malicious slander, or is it a genuine critique? are these ridiculously silly and false accusations, or is there really a problem of their own fault that needs to be addressed? things like that. i hate radical outlooks that operate on black-and-white solutions. everything is a grey area and is almost always situational.

my other advice would be to follow and listen to blogs similar to mine that do my job but better. non-bi-narism, nb-n-bi, bakerybutch, nebula*****try (racial slur & i'm white), jocularly-ambidextrous, pippii-punkstockings, femmebis, marcebubble, justsayouhatebisexualwomen, femmebisexuelle, firstgrave, boytoykisser, yrbutchgf, butch-bakugo, bifey, and of course many more that i'll probably continue to add onto in the future if i make this a reference post. and obviously i'm not telling you to follow all of them, those are just some of my favorite suggestions thus far. i'd also suggest mediumkravitz and pinkvampyr, although they have me blocked because i was briefly stupid a while back and i couldn't get ahold of them without being annoying. :,)

that's it, i hope it's simple enough lmao. i demand a ton of shit from non-bisexuals all the time generally but i don't want to put lots of pressure on individuals directly, especially if they're genuine and also because i've been led to believe that support is usually conditional. (҂-̀_-́) but yeah, i hope this guide is good enough!!

[bi-sapphics]

Ok so following up where you said that talking about and standing up for bi issues is important for lesbians to do...I have a hot take that my community isn't going to like lol. Alot of lesbians that aren't les4les instantly lose respect for bi girls when they say their bi4bi cause that means they can't date them. That isn't ok because your respect for a person shouldn't end when you can not date them. That's some objectifation bullshit. If your a wlw fucking act like it. Love should be accepting and unconditional.

sorry for taking so long to get back to you, i had to get a biweekly prescription injected into my thigh to help with my eczema and it SUCKED. >:/

yeah it doesn't make any sense, especially when they are les4les. there's this super weird hypocritical idea that les4les is perfectly acceptable (which it is if done right) because of lesbophobia from bi women in particular, but bi4bi is not acceptable because of biphobia from lesbians in particular. the reason for this is that lesbians either think that biphobia isn't real, and/or they think they're not capable of perpetuating it because they're the most oppressed and the "real" gays and also bisexuals usually deserve it.

but yeah, usually bi4bi only ever upsets them after having previously established that they would never date one of us because it means we're denying them rightful accessibility to people whom they see as lesser, which is WEIRD because they should know how that feels when men do it to them!! obviously it's not the same kind of misogyny but it's still misogyny nonetheless and they're not above upholding that harmful cycle. i mean ffs they literally stan catradora and then insist they can never be abusive on the basis of being lesbians, c'mon.

but anyway that "i have a right to you" dynamic is simply about control and nothing more. that's the only reason why they would turn a compatible response to biphobia that flows nicely into something that interrupts their narrative. if they don't want to date bi women, and they insist that no lesbian they respect ever would, why do they care what we do? it's because they believe we're not good enough to deserve our own autonomy and happy fulfilling relationships. the whole "bisexuals are incapable of ever living through or speaking on any LGB experience without the presence of a real gay person there" is pretty much the explanation for that. we don't need the LG to be bi4bi and love ourselves, although it really doesn't help that we don't 'cause it'd sure be nice. we don't need the LG to take charge of a wlw relationship for us if both women are bi. if it's not about control, why do they show time and time again that this is exactly how they feel? why do they project so hard and act like we're claiming they oppress us (even though we don't) if they don't wish that power imbalance was real like they always openly say they do? it's not a secret that apparently lesbians are supposed to be able to oppress bisexual women despite the fact that they can't and don't just because it would satisfy them to keep us silent (’cause y’know bisexuals already do oppress lesbians since we can just throw their existing but less-valid SGA out the window /s).

something i'd like to note here is that i do understand some bi women are very homophobic about les4les and i'm not gonna be a hypocrite and deny that. the truth is, it just sucks when you're not included in something and you're not given access to people you want to be around. it's really easy to take that personally, and i think those feelings are valid to some degree. but it does need to be understood for both groups in both directions that it isn't personal and it doesn't inherently assume that you as an individual are biphobic or lesbophobic, even if those preferences are decidedly solidified and strict (i for one am not that way, i'm both bi4bi and bi4les but i have a very heavy preference for and hope to end up being bi4bi. i'm really only bi4les just in case i end up being that deep in love someday because my morals and boundaries aren't worth hurting and screwing myself over for imo). people are allowed to have boundaries and if it's understood that you can, then so can they. i also understand from experiences the frustration of bi4bi being seen as less legitimate than les4les because it's been accused of being a copycat method in addition to its reasoning for existing being dismissed as fake. but hating bi4bi over prejudiced assumptions doesn't make les4les wrong and hating les4les over implied homophobic feelings from being left out doesn't make bi4bi wrong. we're both shunned for our dating preferences, not just the latter, and it's because anyone can be misogynistic and a specific type of anti-wlw homophobic that only applies to sapphics of either kind.

that's why les/bi solidarity is so important these days, now more than ever, because we really do hurt each other the most more than anyone else, and that reason is that we have more in common than anyone else. sapphophobia hurts from straight people and gay men, sure, but it cuts deep when it comes from your own. pick-me bisexuals, boot-licking lesbians, they're both understood by their individual respective communities to cause real internalizing damage. why is interactive sapphophobia not just unrecognizable, but also completely acceptable, especially on the biphobic lesbians side of it?

[bi-sapphics]

if someone comes into that person’s inbox and calls them (what are your pronouns, bestie?) a simp for bi women or a boot-licker or self-hating or an internalized lesbophobe for like. NOT being biphobic i might throw a (figurative ofc) punch honestly