#sex education did it a bit too in s4 but that show's not as big as doctor who but i still appreciated it

[3gremlins]

i just love that a show as big as doctor who came out with its whole chest and said FUCK YOU TERFS YOU ACTIVELY MAKE LIFE DANGEROUS FOR TRANS PEOPLE AND YOU HAVE NO PLACE HERE

like tysm, russell t davies <3

(also finally justice for donna)

[boys-night]

Mickey and Ian - communication, sex, and relationship styles, post 11x07

Here’s my take on how Ian and Mickey relate to sexuality and relationship styles, thinking mainly about 11x07, but also looking more broadly at the series and including HoS. If you’re not interested in incorporating 11x07 in your version of canon, ignore this! I enjoyed 11x07 but I understand people have different ways of seeing Ian and Mickey’s relationship. I’m also doing the classic meta thing of taking seriously exaggerated/comic/contradictory elements in the show because that’s how I roll. 

Super long post under cut. 

I’ve been reading Sexuality: A Graphic Guide by Meg-John Barker and Jules Scheele which is where a lot of the following ideas and terminology come from. I’ve also been looking at Meg-John Barker’s free relationship zine on their website rewritingtherules.com. I highly recommend their work, including the podcast they have with Justin Hancock, The Meg-John and Justin podcast (although MJ has left now and it’s called Culture, Sex, Relationships, but you can check out the backlog!) 

They think about sex and relationship styles using various models including monogamy/polyamory, allosexuality/asexuality, romance/aromance etc. They look at these different facets of sexuality/relationship styles as complicated continua rather than binaries which shift over time. They also write about sexuality on an action/identity spectrum, communication strategies around relationships styles, and the windows into relationships. Here, I’m looking at all of these things thinking about Ian and Mickey’s relationship and as individuals within the relationship. 

The monogamy/polyamory continuum

I’ve seen a bit of debate about how to label Mickey and Ian’s relationship on the monogamy/polyamory spectrum and I think it’s a pretty complex question especially considering those labels mean different things to different people and that relationships shift a lot over time. While labels like these can be useful, they can also be rigid and restrictive in their own ways. 

Some terms that come close-ish to what they say they’ve decided in 11x07 are monoamorous and polysexual, considering they aren’t at all interested in romantic connections outside of each other but are up for sex (in a broad sense) with other people. But these terms don’t account for the agreement that they’re only exploring sex with other people when they’re together. 

As people have pointed out, some of the boundary setting around exactly how they’re involving other people in the relationship is left off-screen, and also they’re not necessarily going to form identities around how they act in one episode. I’ve also seen people suggest reading their relationship style as monagamish and/or that what they do with other people is part of kink/play. I think these make sense in different ways and that in 11x07 Ian and Mickey definitely focus more on what they do (action) rather than who they are (identity) in regards to monogamy/polyamory. 

In 11x01, Ian’s focus is more on identity. He sets up a binary choice between being monagamous or not in their relationship. 11x07 indicates they’ve moved through off-screen discussion into a much more personalised arrangement with more focus on actions allowing for flexibility over time. In 11x07, we see them agree on rules: sex in a broad sense is allowed outside of the primary partnership, love isn’t. They keep negotiations ongoing (e.g. in the bedroom, in the furniture store), and there is an indication that these rules could change over time. 

I’d love to read/explore more about the ways in which this approach has changed over the course of the whole show. At the start of their relationship, definitely prior to s4, they have much more implicit rules about who they can have sex with, and those implicit rules become problematic in s5, when they realise they’re not completely on the same page regarding them. They bring up clashing ideas around the rules when Mickey’s leaving prison in s10 too. In s11, their relationship becomes more intentional, with these rules stated aloud rather than assumed. 

The action/identity continuum in regards to gay sexuality 

On a slight tangent, I think there’s a comparison to be made here to how they relate to sexuality (specifically gender of attraction) and the idea of gay identity, which seems to develop in the other direction. For Mickey especially, for a long time having sex with men was something he did rather than something he was, and that’s gradually somewhat shifted over the course of the show. There’s so much more that can be explored here, for instance, about how the action-based approach is much more acceptable within the hyper-masculine environment he was raised. Terry also approaches it this way when talking about prison sex, for example. According to this very oppressive social script, having sex with men in certain circumstances can be OK but claiming that as part of who you are is absolutely not. 

But I also want to stress, I don’t think either approach to gay sexuality, looking at it through actions or through identity, is inherently better or worse. These different lenses on sexuality also intersect with class and levels of education. As explored in Sexuality: A Graphic Guide, the identity approach is also relatively a very modern way of seeing sexuality (late 20th century). Gender of attraction is also only one facet of sexuality (which includes amount of sex you want, type of sex, sexual roles etc.) but its now often regarded as the only or most important facet of sexuality. The identity-based approach is much more acceptable within the more aspirational/middle class settings they interact with in s10 and s11. In these seasons, Mickey and to a lesser extent Ian aren’t completely willing to accept it wholesale. I like how, for example, even well after “coming out”, Mickey often still approaches sexuality through actions rather than identity, e.g. his response to the woman at the flower shop asking if he’s a homosexual: “He is, I just like having another man’s dick up my ass.”

However, I also think it’s cool/interesting how Ian and Mickey both move towards and embrace various parts of mainstream gay identity in s11 too, and a large part of that involves combatting the sexism, femmephobia, and hypermasculinity with which they were raised, e.g. of course, singing and dancing to Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande in the bathroom.  

You could also look at the different ideas about the origins of their gay sexuality in HoS through this lens. Mickey goes for a psychological/behavioural approach (based in like early 20th century sexological theories); Ian goes for a born-this-way, biological/genetic approach (popularised in the 1980s as part of gay pride movements). 

Mickey’s approach is very old school (definitely a way of thinking that reflects his upbringing), which assumes straight is the norm from which gay deviates, to do with Freudian theory/the idea of homosexuality as pathology. He doesn’t, for example, seek to use the same model (Fiona’s bad relationship history) to explain why Lip is straight. Ian’s approach (”not because I was born this way?”) reflects his investment in the intractability of sexuality related to his strict opposition to conversion therapy models and the idea of being gay as a choice. It also reflects the way he reacts negatively/disbelievingly to Debbie’s more flexible sexuality (in s8?). While obviously it’s fucked up/impossible to force people to change their sexuality and it’s perfectly reasonable for him to define the origins of his own sexuality however he wants, this approach risks excluding more fluid experiences of sexuality. 

Again, Mickey’s approach is more behavioural/action oriented and Ian’s is more identity oriented. They both seem pretty willing to shift their ideas around this though (especially Mickey, who potentially is just regurgitating old stuff he’s heard without thinking). The concluding thought is that Ian is gay because he likes Mickey’s d, lol. 

Individual differences on sex and relationship continua

I really like the detail that Ian doesn't want to have sex and be friends with anyone else aside from Mickey. In 11x07, he doesn't want to make friends with the guys in the locker room although he's down for repeat sexual experiences which suggests he thinks he forms romantic attachment through a combination of both sex and friendship. It seems like it's important to him in his negotiation with Mickey that they don't form romantic attachments outside of their own relationship.

This relates back to the 87% thing in HoS where Ian says he tends to get at least slightly attached to everyone he has sex with and Mickey has 87% of his heart. Mickey doesn’t like the 87% thing at all but I reckon it outlines a really interesting difference between the two characters in regards to relationship styles. It indicates that Ian is comfortable with a slightly less mononormative way of doing nurturance/care than Mickey, while Mickey seems to initiate more of the polysexuality than Ian in 11x07. (Although of course, we don’t see how Ian would react if Mickey were to tell him he’s got 87% of his heart! -- but this is a very difficult to imagine scenario).

Sex is a big part of their relationship for both of them. Both Ian and Mickey seem pretty allosexual (e.g. they feel sexual attraction for other people generally), but Mickey is possibly even more so than Ian. Mickey also maybe falls on the aromantic/grayromantic spectrum (once again, the labels can be really useful but I don’t want to be too prescriptive/rigid). Ian seems to be more alloromantic, with a capacity to experience romantic attraction to a whole bunch of people. For him, sex and romance seem to be more interconnected in all cases although he can definitely separate the two (especially when thinking about transactional sex etc).

But I think it's more complex than that. For instance, Mickey reserves certain sexual acts for just between him and Ian and its clear that they have both intimacy and exploration in their sex life. From the outset, Ian and Mickey’s relationship involves exploration and excitement with sex, and provides a freedom to explore their sexualities in regards to sexual roles and kink. It’s clear that Mickey values the safe space Ian specifically gives him in this regard from very early on in their relationship. There’s a parallel here with the bathroom Gaga/Grande scene where Ian’s instinct isn’t to tease or make fun of Mickey but support him embracing more stereotypical gay behaviours and/or more fluid gender roles to the ones he’s grown up with outside of sex too.

Also it might be useful to complicate the idea of romance itself which is a really difficult idea to pin down and which seems to mean different things for both of them. I love the stress on friendship in 11x07. Friendship and also family connection play such key parts in their relationship with one another and the way in which they are attached, arguably even more so than traditional models romance. Both HoS and the Hopper painting discussion are interesting to think about in regards to the ways Ian and Mickey think about the concept of romance differently and the ways it intersects with or differs from their ideas around friendship/family. I like how Mickey’s willing to see getting a coffee together as romantic in a positive way for instance after Ian explains that it’s about togetherness in hard times. While maybe Mickey sees Ian’s suggestion of having a bath together as awkward/weird because he views it more as trying to live up to a social script of what is “romantic”.

Communication strategies around relationship styles

In s11, Ian and Mickey’s relationship is very entwined, and, in comparison to Tami and Lip, for instance, they disclose a lot to each other. Ian asks that they tell each other everything, and although Mickey is more resistant to that initially, he becomes much more forthcoming with his feelings in s11 (around Terry, around moving to the West Side, around becoming a parent). 

While I appreciate Ian’s role in initiating more communication between the two of them, I felt sorry for Mickey in their initial discussion in 11x01 in re “monogamous or not”. The turning over the paper method is a pretty binary way to open up a discussion about a very charged and complicated thing. 

They do seem to complement each other in this regard though with Ian generally more keen to initiate conversation but also getting more trapped into binaries, narratives of normativity and should-stories. While Mickey totally still projects an image that is informed by local expectations around masculinity and white supremacy, he’s also a rule-breaker in many ways and doesn’t have the same desire to conform to what society perceives to be “normal” (thanks HoS), especially behind closed doors and within his relationship with Ian (“liking what I like don’t make me a bitch”).  @fiona-fififi had a really good point in the tags a while back about how Mickey’s investment in their wedding and its success might have spurred Ian on further to embrace more normative ways of doing relationships. This is super interesting, and also makes me think just about how being married itself prompts Ian to think about taking a more active role in pushing the relationship further up the relationship escalator and in pushing for more communication around these steps in general. 

There’s also something to be said about pressurising each other in 11x07, especially when they jokingly(?) threaten each other with sex with other men if both of them aren’t around. I doubt they were making these suggestions seriously but it definitely doesn’t strike me as the most consensual method of communication. But there’s parallels here with generally using sex as a bargaining chip earlier on in the season. Ian seems to do that after having exhausted his attempts at trying to have conversations around money/monogamy etc, as a tried and tested way of getting Mickey to engage with him. And it definitely reflects using sex with each other and sex/relationships with other people (e.g. s3 Angie/Ned, s10 Byron/Cole) as modes of communication in earlier seasons. It kind of makes sense that they still have these habits in s11 even if they are no longer the primary mode of communication. 

Ian and Mickey relied so much on implicit communication in the early seasons and they have highly developed nonverbal ways of communicating. I don’t want to say that either verbal or nonverbal ways of communicating are inherently better than the other. They seem to understand each other on a deep level, which is really cool, but people have pointed out can make them think they don’t need to verbally communicate when they do, because they assume that they’ll understand one another and be on the same page. It’s super interesting to see them maintain that deep connection and continue to use nonverbal cues while also adopting more explicit and intentional communication styles in s10 and s11. 

The windows of their relationship

The fandom is always bringing up how Ian and Mickey leave the doors open when they bang, lol, and also making fun of how much Ian overshares. I think this is v fair but it also strikes me as pretty healthy that he wants people to see into his and Mickey’s relationship, especially in his discussions with Lip. But Ian’s got plenty of people around him who can see and help when things get tough. 

In s11, it’s great to see Mickey get closer to the Gallagher family and see various members defending him or taking his side in arguments, but he definitely does have less of an on-screen support system than Ian. (I wish that they had developed his and Sandy’s relationship in s11). I think the aftermath of the City Hall incident in s10 really reveals this particular imbalance in their relationship. On one level, Mickey moves in with Byron as a reaction to being hurt and even maybe a strategy of revenge/manipulation, on another, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go aside from the Gallagher house when/if he needs to get away from Ian. Also, the way he retreats back to the Gallagher house when he can’t deal with the Westside is an interesting development of this in s11. 

Ian’s need to share stuff about their relationship is kind of exciting considering his history of being unforthcoming about his relationships (and his history of being in a lot of secret relationships), as well as how difficult he found it to talk about Mickey while Mickey was away. But there is a different problem with ongoing talk around privacy and boundaries here too (Mickey doesn’t want Ian to chat about how he’s not into rimming!). Although to be fair, Mickey also chats about a lot of explicit sex stuff with strangers. 

Although they do ultimately decide against pursuing the pretty inorganic way of making friends in 11x07, Ian’s desire to make gay friends who he can talk to about relationship stuff makes sense in terms of the way he has been pushing for a more intentional relationship with more communication and more explicit discussion and compromise this season (and last season too). It also intersects with an idea of him/both of them going further to embrace gay sexuality as an identity. 

It’s interesting that Mickey’s the one to initiate this decision through ribbing Ian about his relationship with Lip. Why’s Mickey doing that? Is it just to be a little shit or is he also trying (subconsciously?) to activate Ian in some direction? (And also, maybe there’s a parallel there to getting their apartment in the west side, where Mickey’s the one inadvertently introducing Ian to the idea by pushing for them to go play in the pool). 

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There’s a lot here which is just scratching the surface of thinking about Ian and Mickey’s relationship in the context of these different sexuality and relationship continua. For e.g. it would be really interesting to think more about this stuff in terms of shifting sex roles and kink exploration. Of course it’s all up for interpretation and I am sure I am highlighting areas that I’m personally interested in and inadvertently projecting myself/my own preferences and styles into this discussion. Very down for disagreements and discussions if other people are interested and manage to read all of this, lol. 

[camelely]

13rw S4 Fix

 So i did one of these for last season and I think now that I’ve had some time to think about S4 I’ll do the same. While last season I thought the issue was one character being overused. But here it seems like there were multiple smaller things that could have improved the whole season Again I’m keeping the same basic plotline and characters :) 

1) Winston 

Have Winston stay at Hillcrest. Him moving to Liberty did nothing for the main plot and he was basically a red herring through most of it. Let him try are befriend the characters from the outside. He can learn about Jess from Bryce’s trial and the news coverage and then try to befriend her at Monet’s. This is where he meets and later starts to date Alex. Since he doesn’t go to liberty school Alex sees him as a sort of escape and lets him in. Clay and Ani dont tell everyone about him because they dont know he is trying to get close to them. It makes them seem less like assholes and more like people. They don’t mention his connection to Monty because they dont realize how close he is getting to answers. Clay can still suspect he did the graffiti, after all it was a break in and a non student could have done that. Plus Estella is another red herring in the school. She serves that purpose so let Winston be the outsider looking in. His arc would still be about knowing a different Monty and not knowing who is was at Liberty but now he is literally the outsider who didn’t really get Monty, rather than it just being a figurative thing at the prom. You can still have the prom scene it would just be entirely imagined rather than the half imagined thing they went with. I think they overused the people talking to ghosts thing so here it would be a  fantasy of Monty and the relationship they had rather then a representation of what could have been. However I don’t think this would have retracted from the point. Also play him up, he is a sympathetic antagonist and it sucks how much he is sidelined for Diego. I didn’t hate Diego but Winston and him basically went through the same arc. They were pro Monty and ending up dating a member of the group, couldnt believe that member was involved and then learned something about Bryce and Monty agreed to move on and just did. All while saying they will alway care for that member of the group. It was an unnecessary rehash. Having WInston be the outsider looking in and Diego the insider looking out also lets their characters compliment each other. They should still work together, just have Winston contact him looking for Monty’s friends. It’s simple. 

2) Tyler and Tony 

Oh Tyler. The character who seems to be in the middle of everything despite never doing anything himself. I didn’t mind his arc of helping the cops find the guys who sold the illegal guns. But Tony’s suspicions, eventually leading to Clay and Tony finding out the truth and just moving on never really go anywhere. I think  it would be cool if Tyler tells Tony, despite the cops telling him not to tell anyone, because he trusts Tony. But Tony, who has had bad run ins with the cops, thinks it is a bad idea. He doesn’t want Tyler taking the deal. Tyler says its the only way the guns wont be traced back to them but Tony thinks teh cops are planning to double cross them to mind out more about Bryce and Monty. At the same time he starts getting close to that cop that takes him boxing and helps him get into college (i dont remember his name for the life of me lol). Tyler sees this as being hypocritical and pulls away. Tony still suspects Tyler is behind the lock down because he is pulling away and Tony is getting paranoid. The rest of their story can still be the same but this way they can show Tony’s paranoia and his loyalty. 

As for Tyler and Estella, It was fine. The scene of them in the bathroom was really powerful, being in the bathroom with a de la cruz and becoming comfortable because isnt her brother was really nice. This could even be another reason Tony and Tyler fight. Tony can be paranoid that Tyler is trusting her too quickly and think she will turn on him. 

3) Jess

Her arc with the principal, being scared and agreeing with the security measures before she sees them in action was really interesting. Focus more on it and less on her manipulating Diego. I did like parts of that arc for her so I don’t want it completely gone but I do think focusing on her working with the principal would have been cool. I would call more attention to her first meeting and her agreeing with the measures and slowly show her change her mind and start to turn against them. Maybe even have an early scene of her and ANi talking about it and have Jess admit she feels safer. Move the creepy cop trying to pat her down to the second or third day. So she can have a moment where they make her feel safe before the negative experience. I loved the protest and a bit better build up would have made it amazing

Her arc with Ani. They fought over Bryce... It should have been a conversation. Not a moment where Ani judges Diego and then they argue. I still think this arc should have been Chloe and Jess and should have been in last season. But they had the opportunity to include Chloe this season and just didnt. I’ll talk about this a bit more in the Zach section but I think Chloe should have been at Prom and the moment between the Ani Jess and Chloe should have been then. It would be right after Jess and Ani made up and would have been cool. 

I don’t think she should have had scenes where she saw and talked to Bryce. Yes it created some powerful moments but they could be reworked. Have WInston use his wealth to commission a positive thing in the paper about Bryce and Monty and have her talk to his idealized photo of Bryce. I will mention it in the Clay section but her hallucinations detracted from his journey with mental health. 

4) Clay

Okay two thing here the first is his arc with mental health, hallucinations, and blackouts. They used it for drama and I wish they hadnt. It should have been about him healing. I didnt mind the way they handled the realization for clay that it was him doing everything (Did they explain the symbol he kept drawing because I missed it if they did? or i just forgot because it was that forgettable lol) but I think the whole thing could have been handled a lot better and a more educated fan then I can provide a better explanation for what exactly was off about it. I will say the the therapy sessions were repetitive and I know thats realistic but for a tv show its boring. The scene were Clay goes to his home was weird and low key scary. I understand the purpose but  I wish he had called him and asked to meet at his office instead. A more likable and relatable journey for Clay with his mental health would be really good for a show that was accused of glorying suicide (personally i dont think it did. My inbox is open if you wanna talk though :))

The second thing is the phantom phone caller. I hate this trope so it might just be me but this is so stale. There are exactly two ways it could go. The person could know everything and be a real problem or the person could be fishing for information and not be a real problem. The whole thing was predicable since Winston had red herring written all over him, Estella was barely developed, and on this show it is always the football guys. Instead let the pranks be smaller and less crazy. Like these boys had to coordinate a lot to mess with Clay. There should be more than one prank and end with a Monty doll and Clay holding a knife to set up the camp episode. But they should be pranks, not the phantom caller psychological torture bs. The blood shower can also happen just on a different day. Clay can be confused about what is real and what isnt making him even more worried about his blackouts and again assuming the mental health arc is handled well, the pranks can be a real part of it. Dumping him in the pit on the camping trip also seemed kinda attempted murdery so maybe do something like tie him to a tree of the path or in a small dirt ditch not a rocky pit where if he hit his head or fell weird the team would all be murderers. 

5) Alex

His arc with Charlie was one of my favorite stories this season. I was also not bothered by him getting close to and exploring his sexuality with Winston and Zach. I’m in the minority but I’m glad Zalex wasn’t made canon and Zach was used to be an effective (kinda) ally and good friend. Plus this way Zalex can live on in the fandom untouched or ruined by the writers interpretation. 

They should have given us Alex in therapy. He tried to kill himself had a traumatic injury, an arc with steroid abuse, and an arc about killing someone. All of which were forgotten this season. All the other characters seemed to be dealing with Bryce and Monty, why not focus on Alex? Even if it isnt in therapy just let him exist in his feelings.

6) Zach

I have one major issue with Zach’s arc, the lack of Chloe. She was the reason he almost killed a man. Let them date, let him start to spiral while dating her. She doesnt know what he did. Have them grow apart on screen but her still connecting to him and not wanting to give up on him. They should go to prom together. I know the hooker was supposed to represent Zach turning into Bryce with the hookers and the drunken sex/potential rape  and cocaine. But Chloe fills the same comparison. He brings cocaine she is not okay with it, He tries to convince her to have sex in the back she is not having it. Maybe he tries to convince maybe it becomes a bit worse than that but she breaks up with him at prom and leaves early. She sees Bryce in him, she doesnt have to say it but you can see it on her face and she walks away when her mind and heart tells her to this time no making excuses. Boom Chloe actually has an arc. As for Zach this is a big wake up call for him he sees what we had become. I know it is later in the actual show but I think it should be in the prom episode so he can have a better conclusion in the finale, like the other characters. The whole season was a downward spiral and I wish we got to see more of him pulling himself out of it. If the whole finale is him getting better even though he wont be all the way done he will be in a better place up the end.

7) Justin

Okay the hard one. I think the writers really wanted to kill him. I mean a fan favorite, who did bad things, and the death would be in the series finale. this is a tv writer’s drug of choice. So I’m gonna do a fix where I still kill him first then to the ideal version. Ok so first Justin dies. No HIV/AIDS. It was out of nowhere, unneeded, and seemed a bit insensitive. If you want it to be related to his drug use, make it so he got a bad batch when he relapsed. Or maybe organ failure. If it doens’t need to be drug related it can be an accident or someone he knew on the streets getting revenge, like that drug dealer we spent time with last season. Or if Justin helps Tyler put the gun salesmen behind bars then have it be retaliation for that. He can still go to the hospital and have goodbyes but it wont be an aids diagnosis and death in the same episode. I know they had signs in earlier episodes but the timeline is still really fucked up...

An ideal ending would have him live. He can still pass out at Prom. The diagnosis can be a combination of stress and withdrawal symptoms.He can be the red herring for the person in the coffin. If Justin lives he can represent hope. He can show the audience that you can get better and things can work out. Even if you are sick and think you will die you can do better be better and live in a better world. Plus I love him and really wanted him to be happy. The message would be you can get out of a bad situation and wold have ended a sad series on a positive note. Even if you are a bad person. Even if you have bad circumstance. Even if it feels like the world is against you, it can get better if you put in the effort. Which felt like the message the show was going for in eariler seasons by showing the people on the tapes doing better but abandoned this last season.

So who would I put in the coffin. Ani’s mom. Now I know she wasn’t a well liked character and her mom wouldn’t have the same audience or character reaction Justin’s death did. But this version isn’t about making the audience sad. Ani would finally have a plot that was really about her, her mom died, Bryce’s mom basically wants to provide for her. And she isn’t sure what to do. Justins funeral felt like it was overshadowed by graduation anyway. Now Ani’s moms absence and the funeral being overshadowed both make sense. She is going to college and doing what she can to honor her mom. And the death of a parent causes Clay to immediately appreciate his own family more. The theme in the first season with Clay was appreciating and acting on his feelings for Hannah before she was gone. Ani’s mom dying is a reality check for him and he know the most important things are his family and friends. Justin’s arc was about finding a family and he did. The core of the show is about family, friends, and the importance of  a strong support system. And starting it with a mother grieving her daughter and ending it with a daughter grieving her mother would be a cool full circle moment.

This post is really long so if you read all the way down Thank you! :) 

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam season 3, episode 7 reaction

AKA The One Where The Boy Squad Saved the Day

Episode 7 of season 3 is simpler compared to other episodes, artistically speaking - for most of it, there’s no slow motion, no big music moments, or any other Skam hallmarks. That is, until Even’s dramatic ass shows up at the very end. Which is quite fitting, in a way. 

SEASON 3, EPISODE 7 - “Are you gay?”

Clip 1 - Eskild becomes Isak’s guru

Eskild tries to help Noora get over William by showing her the wonders of Tinder. I don’t know if his distaste for William in S4 was something Julie invented that season, as maybe a nod to the part of the audience who did not care for William or Noorhelm, but in-universe I would buy Eskild developing that grudge against Willy around this time. I don’t think he quite knew how much of her S2 angst was William-related, considering she wasn’t an open book and she was dealing with assault-related trauma as well. Here he knows she’s hurting for reasons directly to do with William. 

Noora liked the guy on Tinder with the guitar, awww. William apparently had a guitar, as we saw during the More Than Words scene, but he was never shown playing it or talking about music.

“I just think you’re the kind of person who always has to do the right thing. You always have to be so good.” Hmmm, this says a lot about what Eskild thinks of Noora and her role in Kollektivet. Although I think in this case it mostly has to do with what Eskild says a moment later, about how everyone knows William isn’t going to come back. He really doesn’t think William will return for her and believes Noora is limiting herself by waiting for him. Just because Noora will wait for William doesn’t mean William will wait for her (which ... may have been true, it’s never clear in S4).

While watching this clip in real time, I wondered if, with all these moments reminding us that William is gone, Thomas wouldn’t come back for like a cameo in this season finale. Regardless of my personal feelings on the ship, Julie spent a full season on Noorhelm, and since there were Evak/Noorhelm parallels this season, if Evak ended up together, then Noorhelm would get some closure, right? It was actually a little surprising that she would tank her OTP like that without a hint of his return. 

Noora is making tea in a Star Wars mug. Is that her mug, or someone else’s? Who’s the Star Wars fan in the flat? Tbh ever since Eskild made that Warhammer reference in the first episode, I kind of like the idea of him having sci-fi/fantasy nerd tendencies. Imagine if Kollektivet had a tabletop game night, omg.

Isak has a little smile for just a fraction of a second at Eskild’s dramatics over the Noorhelm saga.

Eskild is really tired of Isak apologizing for the gay pride incident. I think once he got some distance from the situation, he remembered that Isak is young and just coming out, and not perfectly educated on all issues regarding to the LGBT community. Eskild himself likely made some similar mistakes when he was younger and newly out of the closet. Life is a learning process, there’s no point where any of us reach Mount Woke and forevermore say the right thing and hold all the right opinions about issues of social justice.

Also, at a certain point you just want people to stop saying sorry for their mistakes, because you’ve stopped caring about what they did and just want to move on. And sometimes it becomes more about the person saying sorry than the person they hurt, though I don’t think that’s the case here with Isak. But I do think Isak just does not want Eskild mad at him. He realizes he messed up and hurt someone close to him, someone that he frankly needs during this sensitive time in his life, and who already has done so much for him.

It’s hilarious how Eskild’s annoyed mood does a 180 once Isak says he needs some advice. Those are the magic words. Eskild is a dude who really, really wants to nurture others and take them under his wing. He wants to help. And he likes the idea of being Isak’s mentor. Of course there’s the satisfaction of having his opinion listened to and valued, but he also gets to help out a gay kid who’s not as sure of himself as Eskild. Really makes you wonder whether Eskild had his own guru or whether he had to go it alone - if this is a “pay it forward” situation, or if he’s telling Isak the things he wishes someone would have told him.

It’s kind of hard to think about long-term future headcanons for Skam since it existed so firmly in its present, but I love the idea that Eskild would become a counselor for troubled youth or LGBT teens or something like that.

This is also just delicious payback, because asking for help shows Isak does look up to Eskild and respects his opinion, which is what Eskild wants. It’s really fun as Carl Martin stretches out Isak’s request, playing with him. Messing with Isak is probably more satisfying than another apology. Meanwhile Isak rolls his eyes in peak bratty teenage mode. (Tarjei gives some first-rate bratty teenage face in this scene.)

Here’s the immortal guru line, ha! Didn’t Carl Martin improvise this part? 

It’s really nice that Isak felt he could go to Eskild with this concern, though. Coming out to Jonas made him relax a little bit, but Jonas can’t quite understand the specific scenario of being a gay guy (or pan guy in Even’s case) and having relationship drama. There are some factors in Isak and Even’s situation that could be influenced by them being two guys instead of a straight couple, so now Isak wants the input of another gay guy. Still, Isak is mostly looking at the ground while he openly admits his concerns about this thing with Even. He’s very vulnerable, getting it all out there. And honestly, he’s indicating to Eskild that this isn’t just a casual thing with Even - he’s invested in it, otherwise would he be so confused and upset about Even going back to his girlfriend? They weren’t just hooking up, Isak thought they were going to be together.

You can see the mention of “girlfriend” being the thing that sticks out to Eskild, and Isak noticing that and starting to get worried.

I really like this exchange where Eskild asks Isak how honest he wants him to be, and Isak says, “Maybe not too honest,” at first, then changes his mind and asks for the whole truth. That’s such a good little moment because you can see that Eskild wants to protect Isak’s feelings but also doesn’t want to give him false hope or lie to him. He’s really looking out for Isak’s best interests. And Isak doesn’t want to hear the harsh truth at first, which is real and vulnerable, but then he figures he better hear it anyway, which is a mark of maturity.

Look at the bucket of cold water splashed over Isak when Eskild tells him not many guys leave their girlfriends for a guy. This is like the episode opener from episode 4 all over again, except opposed to what Eskild said to Noora - “There are people who leave their wives and families to be with the ones they love.” It’s interesting because he’s talking from a more personal perspective here, as a gay man, rather than Noora’s issue with her het relationship, and his take is more cynical. 

Though even with Noora, Eskild was trying to soften the blow - it was clear he thought William was out of the picture for good, going off how he kept mentioning how Noorhelm had broken up despite Noora’s protests. Similarly, Eskild doesn’t want to let Isak down too much, he wants to qualify that he’s not God or Buddha, this is just his opinion … but he also can’t bring himself to openly lie (in his opinion) to Isak and tell him it’s going to work out fine.

Nothing like Eskild asking if his advice was helpful when Isak’s hope is draining fast, and the clip just ending there.

So I remember there was criticism of Eskild’s advice/POV here, and while I understand why because his advice is flawed and he ends up being wrong about Even, obviously, I think it’s important to keep in mind Eskild is coming from a very specific, very personal perspective, where he’s meeting guys on Grindr who are ostensibly hanging on to a straight identity while having gay sex. As that one dude in episode 2 wrote to him, he’s not gay but he likes to suck dick, etc. - and I doubt that random Grindr guy meant he was actually bi or pan rather than gay; in context he was likely disavowing any non-heterosexual identity. Eskild is talking about a specific type of guy who will have sex with men for pleasure, but would not commit to more long-term relationships with men - relationships that are perceived more negatively in society, relationships that will direct prejudice and scorn toward those involved, relationships that unfortunately can lead to terrible consequences due to homophobia, such as violence, discrimination, family disapproval, etc. He’s not getting a correct read on Isak’s situation - the guru is fallible. But his take on it is from personal experience. (Plus Isak is telling him how Even keeps running hot and cold, showing Isak affection then ignoring him, which is not going to give Eskild the best impression of the situation.)

Clip 2 - Nei, Vilde

My heart gets so warm whenever Isak and Sana are in the same frame.

“I read it last weeeeek.” Why is that one line delivery so funny and memorable? Tarjei is a human meme.

Isak is right, the correct answer is D. Sana is convinced it’s A. One of Sana’s greatest strengths is her conviction in her beliefs, but it’s also one of her biggest flaws. As we can see, sometimes she is strongly convinced she’s right when she’s not, and she can have trouble admitting that she’s wrong. (Another moment: that scene from S1 where Sana and Noora are talking about an assignment, Noora says Sana did a problem wrong, and Sana says that the answer key is wrong.) This part of the scene with Isak and Sana fighting over the answer is here to parallel the earlier scene with Sana talking about homosexuality not being supported by evolution and to foreshadow the coming scene where she does admit to Isak she was wrong about it. We can see that Sana, while a smart person, doesn’t have all the answers. She is just a teenager, after all. And we can see that she’s stubborn in her mindset, so for her to say she was wrong about something is a big deal for her.

Also, in Isak’s season he’s the one who’s got the right answer and it’s Sana who’s wrong, and I believe in Sana’s season she’s the one outperforming him, which is funny and fitting for their characters. They both think they’re the brains of the operation.

“Your own organs don’t release waste.” Sana ... do you not know what poop is....

I mean excretion takes other forms,too, but I am given to understand that poop is a globally recognized phenomenon.

Sana pinching her nose in exasperation is pretty funny, though. She must have perfected that gesture during her conversations with Vilde, but as it turns out, it has many applications!

“Just trust me, Sana, I know this.” “I trust myself and it’s A.” Character-defining statement for Sana right there.

I’d forgotten that Isak says, “This is my subject. I know what I’m doing.” Just to support all those fanfics where Isak is a scientist or doctor. Sometimes facts can be super common in fic, but not necessarily supported in canon, but this bit gives credence to scientist Isak outside of him just generally being smart and getting good grades in biology.

AND NOW, as of this week, we have Julie Andem herself saying that Isak is studying biophysics at university, for people who would like to run with her headcanons.

Isak is like, “Let’s just Google it, I’m sick of you being stubborn,” and Sana’s like, “Well, if you’re so uncertain that you have to check Google,” and I’m like, oh my god what a ridiculous duo, I can’t stop giggling at them sniping at each other. The crankiest friends, I love them.

Everyone’s least favorite teacher returns, still without a bra but this time without a racist comment. Uh, character development? (Wasn’t she some teacher at Nissen? Imagine walking into your classroom and all your students were watching extended shots of your nipples when the clip dropped earlier. Unless she usually free-boobs it, then it’s just another Tuesday.)

Isak and Sana can’t come to an agreement, so they agree to disagree by each choosing an answer and marking it. Almost like … they can agree to disagree on other topics … hmmmm...

You can see Sana frown in confusion as she reads the text, and my heart cracks a little with Isak’s response. He looks over with a smirk, teasing her about not knowing her name and it’s very cute, but his smile drops when he sees her expression. And then when he reads the text, Tarjei does such excellent and subtle acting. It’s not like Isak has a meltdown at the table or anything, but you can see him getting punched in the gut, the shock sinking in. He quietly puts the phone in his pocket, a little tremor in his voice.

Vilde, Vilde, Vilde. I actually love Vilde a lot, messy comments and opinions and all, but this is What Not to Do when you think someone you know might be gay. First of all, you shouldn’t be putting someone randomly on the spot like that, launching into such a personal question without even easing into the subject (“I hope you don’t find this question rude” - too bad, because it is rude). I mean, imagine if someone was randomly like, “Vilde, I hope you don’t think this is rude, but is your mom an alcoholic?” WTF. Second, Vilde doesn’t know Isak that well, certainly not well enough to be asking him that question. I don’t think that question would be appropriate from a close friend, either, but definitely not from their level of acquaintances. Third, if you think your friend might be gay, you should wait for them to bring it up to you, because it’s a very personal matter. It’s a sensitive topic and they’re likely to be feeling vulnerable; they might not be sure of themselves and still questioning their sexuality, they just might not be ready. Plus coming out is something each individual should have control over. With these rumors, Isak has this life-changing moment taken out of his hands.

Sana responds to the text well, though, not acknowledging it, changing the subject by asking about the next bio question, and taking care of their assignment for Isak. You know when she saw Vilde next she chewed her out.

This is probably when things really started to make sense to her about why Isak was so hung up about religion not being accepting of homosexuality, and why he confronted her about it. She realizes that no matter her point, maybe her words had some unintended meanings that weren’t the best for Isak to hear.

There’s fear in Isak’s eyes when Sana gets up. He looks at her like he thinks she might hate him now because she knows he’s gay :(

Isak is not ready to be labeled gay, really, so you can imagine how alarming this is. Not just that he had a relationship with a boy, but that he IS something. He’s something that he’s not yet ready to accept about himself, but suddenly everyone in school knows it about him? 

To make matters worse, when Isak asks Vilde where she heard it, she mentions that she heard Isak and Even had a thing. So it’s not just that Isak is gay, it’s that Isak had a relationship with Even, like ... exactly how much do they know about his life?

What do you think Even thought about being outed? We don’t know whether he was out or not, whether he was OK with it. He wasn’t wearing a pan pride button until S4. Maybe he was fine with people knowing about his sexuality, but it still wasn’t Emma’s call to make, it was his.

Of course here we learn Emma spilled the beans after hearing it from Sonja. You can imagine how this went: Even told Sonja about him and Isak. I don’t have a problem with him doing that. She was his girlfriend of four years, she deserved to know the truth about why Even was ending their relationship. And she also had graduated and didn’t go to Nissen so she wasn’t exactly enmeshed in the Nissen social sphere, there seemingly wasn’t much risk in telling her. Then Sonja contacted Emma, the sweet first-year girl who she got along with so well, to warn her off Isak. I don’t think it was wrong of her to do this in theory? I guess Sonja could have said, “Hey, Isak is not worth your time,” without going into more details about Isak and Even’s relationship, but who knows how effective that would have been. I get it, she doesn’t want Emma to waste her time and get her heart broken. Ultimately it was Emma’s choice whether to keep Isak’s sexuality to herself or not. And we don’t know exactly how Emma outed Isak, since the details Vilde gives are on the vague side. It could have been Emma venting to a friend but not intending to spread it around school, except someone else happened to overhear. It could have been the friend passing it on to a friend, who passed it on to another friend, and it kept going way more than Emma wanted or predicted. Or, I mean, it could have been Emma really angry at Isak and not bothering to keep it a secret, not understanding the severity of what it’s like to be outed (because it’s 2016, Isak, get out of the closet, geeeeeez).

But whether it was through carelessness or malice, outing Isak was clearly wrong of Emma. And frankly worse than what he did to her - he hurt Emma by leading her on, but outing Isak could have had really bad consequences. Isak is lucky that his friends are good people who accepted him instead of rejecting him. Even if he wasn’t gay-bashed or something extreme like that, he could have had to deal with homophobic assholes at school. We don’t see Isak dealing with homophobes until S4, but it’s not unreasonable to think there would be some shitheads who might use homophobic slurs or make fun of him, laugh at him, etc.

Actually, although he doesn’t really deal with bullying in this season, we do see that he has to deal with people like Vilde and the dance girls, well-intentioned individuals who still make him uncomfortable with inappropriate or generalizing remarks. All of that is a hell of a lot to deal with as a gay teenager. It should have been Isak’s choice when he was ready to deal with all of that by coming out to the school. No matter her intentions, Emma took that away from him.

This is my one substantial critique of the season and the only thing I would change. I think we definitely see that Emma’s actions had negative effects for Isak, but it would have been nice to get more open acknowledgment that outing someone else without their consent is wrong. Either by someone explicitly saying that Emma did something wrong, or by Emma apologizing to Isak for what she did. Or both. Her reaction in her final scene with him does seem like she’s apprehensive about speaking to him, so maybe she realizes she messed up, but it would have been good to get this message vocalized for the audience. Don’t out people against their will.

Vilde says, “Sorry if it’s not true.” But not sorry if it is true, because Vilde doesn’t realize that it’s not the veracity of the rumor, it’s the violation of privacy.

Vilde thinks she’s being an ally, too, except of course her comments are just going to make Isak feel worse. This is what he fears - being judged because he’s gay, coming out = people seeing him as a concept instead of as an individual. Vilde is playing into the same thoughtlessness as Emma in episode 3: she’s making generalizations, and positive generalizations are still a problem. “I love gays!” is dehumanizing. Not all gay people are the same. Some are nice. Some are mean. Some are fun. Some are boring. You know. Like the rest of humanity. She’s showing that she’s slotting Isak into this neat little box, which is what she wants to avoid.

If you’ve read Ulrikke’s Skam fanfic for charity, there’s a bit where Vilde kisses Isak on the cheek because she’s trying to make him her gay best friend. But of course Isak is anything but the “gay best friend” stereotype. 

It is kind of ridiculous to imagine Vilde looking at Isak and going, ah yes, there’s a guy who would make a perfect gay best friend. Like Vilde is expecting a shopping partner or someone to give her grooming tips and romance advice, and instead Isak’s preferred BFF activities would consist of lying around, playing FIFA, and smoking weed.

Clip 3 - Coming out to the boys

Jonas asks the important questions, like how does IKEA name their furniture? (And IKEA had an answer for Jonas.) (They told him to have fun at the pre-drink on Friday, lmao. IKEA was just as deep in Skam hell as the rest of us.)

The random girl saying hello to Isak is one of those innocuous-seeming things that really illustrates the negative effects of being outed. Isak is exposed. He’s suddenly a public figure. Even in a “positive” way that’s a lot to deal with; not to be a broken record but he should have been his choice when to come out so he could prepare himself for this attention. 

Lmao, Magnus and Mahdi have their own little musical duo. Also, David’s rapping and dancing in this scene is the funniest shit. His comedic timing was great in this clip.

You can notice a few subtle differences in how Magnus and Mahdi greet Jonas versus how they greet Isak, because there’s still awkwardness over what happened at Emma’s party. Mahdi doesn’t look at Isak at first.

I don’t usually comment on this type of stuff but this is one of Isak’s fluffiest looks. Whenever he leaves off the snapback? Fluff factor increases 200%. Helps that he spends part of this scene looking skittish as a baby deer.

Jonas is the one to mention Isak’s pre-party, signaling that he is cool with Isak and softening the awkwardness of Isak having to do it. Jonas is such an excellent bro.

Magnus readily agrees to the party; I think he’s just such an easy-going dude and not someone who likes conflict. Jonas semi-subtly asks if they’re all in, and there’s a little moment where Isak and Mahdi exchange a look. Isak says that he won’t get violent this time, which is his way of saying he’s sorry, and Mahdi is cool with it and gives a giant lovely smile. So just like that, peace is restored in the boy squad.

I remember this was the clip where I fully turned around on the boy squad and went from, hmmm, don’t know how I feel about these teenage boys? to I love them FOREVER. Just in time for the magnificent Fredag clip.

Of course, then Magnus just has to bring up that totally wacky rumor about Isak being gay. Lol so funny that everyone thinks that!! Because it’s obviously not true!! The relief Isak must feel at making up with his friends must grind to a halt. Because it’s one thing that they’re forgiven him for the fight, but are they going to be OK with him once they learn he’s gay? He came out to Jonas and it went well, but what about these guys? Coming out is going to have to be a continuous process for him, isn’t it? And maybe it will get easier but can it ever get easy?

 I’m not sure Isak planned to come out to Magnus and Mahdi when he sat down. There’s a text conversation between Isak and Jonas about telling the boys since the rumors went around, but I don’t know if Isak entered the room with the intention of coming out right then and there, or if he was just planning on making amends and then coming out to them in a different scenario, like maybe he wanted to tell them at the pre-drink (hey, it could be easier after a few drinks), but Magnus bringing up the rumors sort of pushed the issue. At least when he came out to Jonas, he got to plan the time and place and had some control over the situation.

Jonas is there, though, and he realizes that this conversation could head into uncomfortable territory for Isak. The upside is that Isak does have Jonas there for emotional support, he has at least one friend he knows has his back about being gay, he’s not doing this alone. I live for Jonas glancing at Isak during this conversation to check on how he’s doing. Which is not great - Isak is REALLY uncomfortable listening to Magnus and Mahdi talk about the rumors.

I really like how they handle this part of the conversation, though, regarding the rumors about Mahdi fighting Isak for being gay. It puts Isak and Mahdi, who haven’t always gotten along this season, on similar ground. Mahdi is also a victim of a stereotyping and generalizing, both “neutral” and negative - that he’s Muslim when he’s not, that he’s homophobic when he’s not. Assumptions that are certainly made because of his race. I can’t speak for Norwegians specifically, but it’s a widespread stereotype that POC are less tolerant of LGBT people and more likely to be homophobic. It’s a good thing for Julie to casually include a rejection of that stereotype. Also that Mahdi is really bothered and not amused by other people thinking he’s a homophobe. Magnus thinks this whole thing is so ridiculous it’s funny, while the others really don’t find it funny at all; it’s shitty for Isak and Mahdi personally, and Jonas knows that Isak is struggling.

I do love Magnus overall but I want to duct tape his mouth shut for a large part of this conversation.

Okay, he drives me up the wall here but admittedly I do get a laugh out of that satisfied huff he gives at the end of the talk, like “Good chat, glad we got that cleared up.” Having no idea the seriousness of this conversation.

Poor Isak. His discomfort throughout this clip is very well-acted, good job, Tarjei. He can’t even look his friends in the eye at the beginning. 

And that eye contact Jonas shares with him before Isak starts to tell them the truth!!!! Best bro!!!! He also keeps looking to Jonas for support during the talk, before he tells the boys about Even.

The way Isak comes out here is roundabout, just like before. Like he did with Jonas, he builds up to it - he’s not just like, “Well, there’s some truth to the rumors,” or anything so direct. He starts by winding into the story about the dance chicks, taking some time to get to the point. He needs to work up to saying the words.

An interesting part is when Isak asks if they remember the guy who came up to them and Magnus is like, “The gay guy?” and Isak wants to know why he thinks he was gay. Because Isak is of course thinking about Even, not the random dance instructor. But there’s some stuff to unpack with how Isak gets maybe a little tense or alert about Magnus thinking Even is gay. There are a couple ways you could read his reaction: that Isak is still dealing with what it means to be gay and to be seen as gay, the social perception of it, and can’t turn off the part of his brain that’s full of anxiety about seeming gay, and wants to know what it is Magnus picked up about Even - could it apply to Isak, too? Or that Isak is still thinking about Eskild’s guru advice and Even’s general hot and cold-ness and wondering if Even really is gay (or bi, or pan, or into dudes) and wanting another take on it? Or you know, just confusion over how Magnus could know that much with such a brief interaction. 

To be fair, all of these interpretations assume Isak believes Magnus is capable of a deeper level of perception that he perhaps is, lmao. Or, on the other hand, if someone like Magnus could pick up that Even was perhaps gay after seeing him for like 10 seconds, then what does that say about how people see Isak? 

It’s honestly pretty funny that Isak is like “Don’t you remember the guy who was such a tall swoopy-haired drink of water? Didn’t him returning Jonas’ hat burn into your minds for all eternity until you pass from this world and it’ll be the last thing you see on your deathbed?” Isak, those guys were in a dance girls coma, a random dude returning a hat was mostly a non-event to them. (Yes, Jonas remembered that moment and figured out he must be Isak’s crush, but Jonas is the The Best Friend and paying close attention to all Isak-related anomalies.)

Once more, Isak comes out to people not by saying he’s gay, but by describing his actions (“We’ve had a thing”). Quickly reinforced by Magnus asking whether he’s gay and Isak reflexively rejecting the label. It goes from Isak saying, This is what I did and Magnus saying, So this is who you are? and Isak saying, No, that’s not who I am. Well, maybe a little bit.

I mean, he does say he’s a little bit gay, but I feel like that’s a concession that yeah, hooking up with a dude is not a straight thing to do, he probably feels like it would be stupid to pretend otherwise. But him fumbling with the gay label here shows how concerned he still is about the perception of others about his sexuality. He still has hangups about what it means to be gay and wants to distance himself from societal stereotypes, and he quickly backs into a defense of himself. Isak might be a little gay but he’s not SO gay he’s into every guy he meets. Which should be obvious - he’s not into every guy out there just as these straight boys are not attracted to every single girl on the planet. But Isak is very insecure. Like at its core, this part is sad to me, because he wants to make sure these other guys are not uncomfortable with him and they don’t see him as a threat. It’s completely understandable why he has these insecurities, because of homophobic ideas about predatory gay men, but it’s still depressing that he feels he needs to defend himself when the words about him having a relationship with a guy are barely out of his mouth.

However, here is another really good moment! Magnus is confused because Isak (in his eyes) hooks up with girls all the time, and Isak doesn’t really know how to say he was lying or faking, or he doesn’t want to say he is not into girls at all yet (because if he’s like, “I’m not into girls,” Magnus is going to be like, “Sooo… you are gay?”) BUT before Isak has to handle this deeply awkward moment, blessed Mahdi is like, “Well, he could be pansexual?” THANK GOD. We as the audience know that Isak is not pan (or bi) but it’s completely reasonable as an outside suggestion that Isak might be. So often this is framed as one or the other, Isak could only be gay or straight. A lot of canons won’t even bring up bisexuality, and it’s really rare to hear pansexuality mentioned at all. Bravo, Skam. 🙌

So this tense moment where Isak is suddenly put on the spot and potentially asked to explain his sexual history is diverted by his friends casually discussing and debating pansexuality and bisexuality. Is this the most #woke way they could have talked about it? Well, no, but it’s a realistic discussion and certainly a good thing for the teenage audience to hear. These characters are not experts on every social issue out there, but they’re open to being educated and sharing knowledge with each other.

Like I kind of laugh at Isak pursing his lips, suddenly excluded from his own coming out while his friends debate labels. In a way it is weird that they’re suddenly talking about whether Isak could be bi or pan right in front of him, but not with him, just among themselves. It’s meant in a good-natured way though, they’re trying to understand him. And Isak must find this deeply surreal but preferable to being grilled personally on how he identifies. Of course they could have just asked him whether he was bi or pan but I don’t think Isak was ready to answer that question.

King Jonas is like “However, he identifies, he’s having a pre-party on Friday,” because hey, that’s the most important thing here, where and when they can get drunk. (For real, bless Jonas for changing the subject before it got too strange.)

Magnus using the f-slur is jarring and not excusable and I mean, I hope Jonas later on was like, “Don’t say that word, dumbass,” and Magnus went home and Googled words not to use when your bro might be pansexual and educated himself. I’m not excusing him, but I don’t think we don’t hear anything like that from him later so hopefully he wised the fuck up.

But again, duct tape.

At least Isak does not seem rattled by it and uses the opportunity to roast Magnus. Because it’s just so easy.

Not gonna lie, the clip ending so abruptly after Magnus is like, “Huh?” makes me laugh.

Clip 4 - Love letter, kinda

Is this the shortest individual clip in all of Skam? It’s less than a minute long. I can’t remember any others that are shorter.

I love that Isak stops and takes a moment to size up his locker, bracing himself for his daily battle. And that it just … doesn’t happen. He’s downright stunned when the locker doesn’t fight him and gives way easily. Isn’t it wonderful when a problem that’s been bothering you is finally gone?

Regarding Isak’s locker of character development, the meaning is very clear. Isak came out to his friends and it’s not the end of the world. They accept him. So his locker (closet) can open without a struggle. He’s not stuck in the closet or struggling to keep his secrets from spilling out. It’s fine. It’s such a simple metaphor but it’s lovely.

And on top of that, he has another message from Even!

Even drew that damn phone twice, you can see subtle differences in each version (besides the obvious text messages).

Again, I love Even’s sketches so much. He’s has such a clever, creative, romantic mind. The “this universe” side of the sketch is acknowledgment that he received Isak’s message, but didn’t reply. The “same time in a completely different universe” sketch is what he feels he SHOULD have done, what he wanted to do but couldn’t get the courage to do, or felt he couldn’t. It’s so poignant! There’s so much longing! I swoon. 

This sketch is an apology, too, because he knows Isak must have been hurt by Even leaving him hanging yet again, especially right after Even must have given him some hope with the cheese toastie sketch. This is Even acknowledging that he should have replied and in a better world, he would have.

It makes you think so much about what was holding Even back. I don’t think it was just Sonja (tbh I wonder if Sonja was really in the picture, to be discussed later), I think it was just simply his hesitance over Isak’s comment about mentally ill people. He gave Isak the cheese toastie sketch because he saw Isak was sad and wanted to let him know Even still cared, that his feelings were still there. But then, you know, Isak found the sketch and sent Even a text, and interacting with Isak again just made Even have another round of doubts. He felt like he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t be continuing this thing with Isak or encouraging it. But at the same time, Even does not want Isak to be in pain. And despite his reservations, despite everything standing in his way, Even wants Isak.

The “miss you” is such a punch in the gut, too. Like we know Even misses Isak because he drew them having cheese toasties together, in another, better universe. But it’s also good to see him state the words so directly. Again, the longing. My heart can’t take it.

This is the drawing that ends up on the wall of the Evak apartment in S4. Isak saved it and they both decided to put it up, even when all the drama had passed, because it was special to them. I like to think it’s a reminder to them of what they went through to be together, and to treasure their life in the present, because going through hell was worth it to arrive at their happiness together.

Look at Isak’s little smile, awwwww.

Not to ruin this beautiful moment or anything but as people have pointed out, Tarjei is reacting to a blank piece of paper.

I think I’ve said this before but looking at Even’s drawing here reminded me of how I am an utter wreck of a human being when I think about his drawings being in the S3 header. Just Isak surrounded by Even’s sketches. Even’s mind, Even’s personality. Even as an integral part of the season, of Isak’s story. I see an Illuminati symbol surrounded by dicks and I’m overcome with emotion. This season still got its claws in me, goddamn.

Clip 5 - REUNION CLIP

This clip is just so heartwarming. When this aired the Skam train had left the station, internationally speaking, and the fandom was so happy and having such a good time with this quality content. It’s really amazing how fast the fandom grew. I think the reaction to this clip was maybe when it sank in for me that Skam was getting big on Tumblr.

The boys talking about russ music at parties reminds me of how S3 is so devoid of anything russ-related compared to other seasons. If Skam had continued until graduation, do you think we’d see the boy squad participating in russ at all, or would they opt out? I mean, I guess we have Jonas’ thoughts on the matter, but what about the others? We don’t see them planning anything, obviously, but a lot of us wanted to see the boys in those overalls. How common is it not to participate?

The way Jonas says “Nate Dogg” cracks me up.

Isak is trying, really trying to get invested in this conversation, but his mind can’t help but roam elsewhere, to Evenland. He is wearing the exact same outfit as in the Bros clip of episode 5, and it’s a similar setup, scene-wise - he’s at a pre-drink with his boys and they’re engaged in a conversation, but he’s very disconnected from it all. The difference here is that Isak has re-established that social connection with them, so Jonas is quick to notice Isak really isn’t there with them, and he checks with Isak. Not just how Isak is feeling right then and there, but making sure to ask about the Even situation. Jonas can deduce that whatever’s got Isak in a mood, it’s probably Even-related. And because Isak has opened up to Jonas, he doesn’t have to sit there in misery the whole time.

The setup of this scene is subtly different from the Bros clip, too. In that one, the boys were all on different pieces of furniture - Magnus and Mahdi on some couch, Jonas across from them on a chair, and Isak between them on another chair - and it made it easy for Isak to sit there disengaged from the group because of the distance. Here they’re all sitting around the same table, a united front, and it’s not as easy for Isak to detach himself. He’s in the same place as they are, he’s level with them.

When Isak says Even has a girlfriend, Magnus asks if he is pansexual. HOW RIGHT YOU ARE, SON. Look at Magnus, using his new vocabulary. 

These boys are just darling. I kind of love how Jonas is the friend who is like 100% Team You, like … the friend who will join in with you when you’re spilling your romance woes and be like, “What is his DEAL?” and give you all that commiseration you want, but also the advice you need to hear. And Magnus is like oooo, are we talking about Even? Isak’s friends want all the dirt on their boy’s boy. Like they are invested, they are ready and willing to hear about Isak’s interpersonal issues. 

But isn’t it nice for Isak to be able to talk about this with people? That once he’s no longer keeping this huge secret, he can talk with his friends about his romance problems, just like they can talk about their girl drama? It’s no different than Magnus talking about Vilde, except with less TMI. That’s the obvious contrast between this scene and the Bros clip. Isak starts off detached in both scenes, but in this one the boys bring him back in.

And to be fair, Isak could hypothetically had shitty friends who didn’t accept him, or who were theoretically OK with him being gay but didn’t actually want to hear him talk about hooking up with boys because it made them uncomfortable. Unfortunately, that happens in real life. Like … Isak was not unjustified in his fears and in his keeping secrets. It’s just that his friends turned out to be great, and that opening up to them was a positive step.

One annoying part about coming out to his friends: Isak having to deal with Magnus’ incredibly heterosexual questions. But also, it’s nice that the other boys are clearly rolling their eyes and groaning at Magnus being a dumbass, it’s treated as Magnus bieng inappropriate. And this exchange is a small but valid misconception to include in the show, because it’s a big thing for straight people to ask who’s the man and who’s the woman in a gay relationship - they’re still mapping the relationship onto heteronormative roles. Each romantic relationship MUST have a man or woman role in it. And of course that’s not the case. Not to mention this question is also clearly linked to sexual roles, like … two men having sex are two men. It doesn’t matter what they’re doing during that sex. No one’s the “woman.” (I mean, I think Magnus is asking how they decide who’s the top and who’s the bottom? But there are no guidelines for that, either, lol. Those are things people decide as individuals when having sex, it’s not a universal rule who does what. Or I guess Magnus is just very confused about how gay sex works, lmao.)

Magnus’ question always reminds me of this scene from The Office.

Isak’s roast of Magnus here is one of the finest roasts I’ve ever heard, like someone serve it with carrots and enter it in the county fair because it’ll win a blue ribbon. He goes in for the drag about straight sex and then circles back for a snap at Magnus’ lack of action! Double roasted! So roasted it’s burnt! You’re going to be chewing on that sucker and end up spitting it into a napkin. Even Jonas is impressed.

Lmao, I know Magnus is meant to be the clueless straight guy, but I like headcanoning him as stumbling into a bisexual epiphany in a few years. Like sometime after he graduates he’ll be like … ohhhhhh, that’s why I had those questions about gay sex for Isak and was so invested in Evak and was struck speechless by Even. 

JONAS IS THE FUCKING BEST, LISTEN TO HIM AND HIS WISE OLD WIZARD EYEBROWS, ISAK

Really, Jonas just cuts past the bullshit and says for Isak to put his foot down about this whole Even situation. It’s now or never. Stop letting Even play with your heart. Did Jonas have a flair for relationship advice when he and Eva were together, or has he gained some wisdom from his own experience with love drama?

This scene is just such a joy! Usually in media, the gay characters are the ones who help out the straight characters with their romantic drama. Here it’s the opposite. Especially because these are straight boys who are completely fine with giving their gay bro advice on how to get his man. This is honestly great of Julie to normalize this behavior. I’ve heard comments that maybe this situation is idealized, that the boy squad are so cool with everything, but you know what? Skam, for all its realism, is frequently about ideal outcomes - not just how things are, but how they should be. Giving teenagers a roadmap of how to react in unknown situations.  

Also, how great is it that Isak has been listening to endless conversations about girls, sitting through dance chicks performances, basically going through all these social rituals and bonding with his friends over heterosexual desire, feeling so isolated from it all, and now finally he’s included? His coming out has opened the door for Isak to both be honest about his own attraction to men and no longer having to feign interest in girls. Freeeedoooooom!

The boys are also using their knowledge of dating girls to help out Isak, translating it to him dating a boy. And I mean, there is a different social context with straight relationships and gay relationships, so their advice might not always fit perfectly with Isak’s situation. However, it matters that they’re not othering Isak (well, Magnus is with his questions, but those are laughed at and shut down). They’re able to maintain an easy connection with Isak, not filtering him through a different lens because he’s into a guy. Which is absolutely what Isak wants, to be treated the same.

Isak is very encouraged by the boys telling him to put Even on the spot and be blunt with him about what’s happening with them. I think it’s funny that Magnus is like, “Yeah, it sucks when she leaves you on read,” and we hear it happens to him all the time. Somehow that does not surprise me!

Isak is friendlier and not as blunt as Jonas encouraged him to be in the text message to Even, thanking Even for the drawing at the beginning. He’s human, he’s soft for Even, he can’t totally hide it. But he does make it clear that if Even doesn’t want something more, then this needs to end. 

“Call me when you’ve broken up with your girlfriend.” What a line. You harness that self-respect, Isak.

They’re all so proud of their boy Isak for standing up for himself. They’re even like “Bros! Brothers!” when they clink their cans. You have to imagine that even if this thing with Even hadn’t worked out, Isak had a strong support system to get him through the heartbreak.

Lmao, Even answers immediately. Isak giving him that ultimatum and laying down the law really made him sweat, huh.

No, really, let’s talk about what Even thought when he got this text.

Now personally I believe Even was no longer in a clear relationship with Sonja when he got this text. I think whatever happened with them at Emma’s party was either temporary or ill-defined, and they were still technically on a break through all of this. Mostly because Even ends up getting to Isak’s apartment SO FAST. Like ... was Even breaking up with Sonja as he was running out the door??? Did he shoot her a break-up text during the night, after when Isak was asleep? I’d like to think he didn’t do Sonja that dirty. 

But yeah, Even responds so quickly. Right after Isak sends that first text, Even realizes that he might lose him. And after all this hesitation, knowing that Isak doesn’t want mentally ill people around, fearing that he could hurt Isak, that Isak could reject him once he finds out the truth … after his efforts to push Isak away, Even can’t do it. When Isak makes plain that Even has to put up or shut up, it takes zero time for Even to make a decision. Or at least, he has to talk to Isak. The thought of losing Isak outweighs any other concerns he might have. There’s something about the simplicity of it that gets me. When there’s no time or room for doubt, Even chooses Isak in a heartbeat. 

Jonas is of course the master of strategic texting. Don’t call Even, because calling will put you on the spot and bring you closer together than texting. Isak has to be a little aloof, make Even think he’s really about to let go. Play it cool. The magic words are Chiller hjemme. Lets him know you might be available, but you’re not desperate to talk with him. (Seriously, how did Jonas get this smooth?? I assume from experience but lmao, the evolution between S1 and S3 Jonas is like ... Bulbasaur and Venusaur.) (I don’t know Pokemon that well, if there’s one that has magnificent eyebrows please let me know.)

Isak’s facial expressions throughout this whole texting debate are so funny to me. He’s practically a wide-eyed innocent? He’s so earnest, he really does want to talk to Even! Plus with his little curls popping out from under his snapback, he looks very young and fresh-faced to the whole ultimatum via text message thing.

And he keeps wanting to add more to the text, like “just call me,” or suggesting a smiley, and Jonas shoots that shit down. What a character moment, honestly? Isak the young inexperienced texter and Jonas who has gone through multiple desired relationships. It is really cute that Isak wants to add a smiley! But Jonas is right, it completely would have made him seem too eager and destroyed the perception of aloofness. 

What smiley would he have landed on, though? 😀 or 🙂 or 😁 or 😎? I’m partial to the sunglasses emoji myself. Chiller hjemme 😎

There is a conversation to be had, by academics who study the impact of modern technology on everyday communication, about the instinctive knowledge these teenagers have about subtleties in non-verbal expression, such as recognizing the impact that a smiley can have in changing the tone of a text message, and combing Skam for all related examples of strategic use of electronic messaging and/or social media to send messages to their peers.

STRAIGHT UP

Sometimes I think Marlon’s finest acting on the show is that self-assured look he gives Isak when he says Even will call, or that gasp of overjoyed satisfaction when Even shows up at the door a few minutes later. Those are just some damn fine expressions.

This moment where the boys sit in silence, waiting for the text, is so good! They’re hooked into the drama! They want their boy to get his man! And that forlorn shot of the phone sitting on the table among the beer cans, inactive. Not lighting up with the desired response from Even.

It’s also really sweet when the boys try to offer suggestions why Even isn’t responding. Even Magnus has a reasonable idea about checking the typing bubble. When it seems like Isak has given up, Mahdi says maybe Even is just somewhere he can’t talk right now. (Which was accurate, seeing as Even was probably hauling ass over to Isak’s apartment.)

Poor Isak, you could see how he was getting hopeful and feeling better when this whole texting idea started, he was proud of himself for being proactive and putting his foot down with Even’s indecisiveness, he had a little smile and some light in his eyes. And now, the resignation is seeping in. Tarjei does a lot of these smaller reactions so well. Isak is still smiling a little, but it’s bitter, he’s telling them that Even is going to flake again. I mean, I’m not even sure Isak is totally convinced that Even won’t respond. I feel like he does still have that spark of hope, he’s just trying to tamp it down. He knows Even has a history of running hot and cold and he doesn’t want to get too optimistic.

Guys, I’m so emotional about these kids. Tarjei is such a good actor that all of his micro-expressions are giving me pinpricks to my heart. And I’ve seen this a million times and I know that in less than five minutes Isak’s going to be shaking off his virginity like he’s a golden retriever come in from the rain, BUT. But I feel so bad for this kid and his disappointed face.

And the rest of the boys, too. They’re there with their friend Isak getting his heart broken. Even, you’re letting down not just the man of your life, but the whole crew!!! 

The other boys try to make some conversation about other topics but Isak just sits there, checking his phone again. At this point, watching the clip for the first time, I definitely thought Even was headed over to Isak’s - no way could they have this random conversation about fermenting beer at school without something big to interrupt it. Also, we hadn’t seen Even at all this week, so he probably had to make an appearance. Still, that wait? Feels like forever.

THAT DOORBELL RING, YESSSSSS. Didn’t our hearts leap up at that simple sound?

How Even got there so fast is such a mystery, too. I guess he doesn’t live that far away, and he could have taken his bike, but I mean, he’s literally there in two minutes after Isak sends the Chiller hjemme text. Two minutes! Sometimes it takes me two minutes just to put on my shoes and leave the house.

I kind of like the idea that maybe Even was already in the neighborhood, or out for a walk or something, trying to work up the courage to go over to Isak. There’s an Instagram post from Magnus of the boys drinking in the kitchen, so if Even happened to see it, he could recognize it as Isak’s kitchen, he could know Isak was at home, he might find himself wandering in that direction….

Lmao, I love them asking Isak if he invited more people and Isak being like, nah, you guys are the only friends I have. It’s kind of self-deprecating but uh … also true. And of course that’s why it was important for these bros to accept Isak’s sexuality.

The boys are really into saying Eskild’s name for some reason, they do it in episode 2 as well. WHERE IS MY ESKILD/BOY SQUAD INTERACTION. I wrote this in the episode 2 recap but I want to know what the boys thought of Eskild, especially prior to Isak coming out, because that probably would have influenced Isak’s attitude toward coming out to his friends?

We don’t get a shot of Even standing outside the building, even though it would be within Isak’s POV. I’m assuming because it would have been too complicated or time-consuming to film for just a short shot. Or maybe for Dramatic purposes, it’s more striking to just have Even appear after the week by smoldering in the doorway, and it heightens Isak’s brief anxiety by keeping Even’s reveal in suspense. But what do you suppose Even was doing outside as he waited? Bouncing up and down nervously as he tends to do? Hands in his pockets? Panting from getting to Isak as fast as he could?

Speaking of Drama, lmao how dramatic is Even, that he just SHOWS UP, in the time it takes to make toaster strudel, with no warning? Hypothetically he could’ve texted I’m coming over to Isak, but of course that would ruin the intended effect of Even just landing at Isak’s door. It’s such a cinematic movie. I think love of movies is so ingrained into Even’s personality that sometimes he just does what a romantic comedy protagonist would do.

Or else Even was just not thinking anything but Isak Isak Isak must get to Isak and didn’t even consider anything but getting his ass in motion. Which frankly, I think is quite likely!

This is a very minor point but the way this clip was filmed always throws me when Isak gets up and we see how tiny the table is. They show it at the start of the clip, but the texting debate feels like some knights of the round table shit in terms of importance. It feels like it should be way bigger and instead they’re sitting at this little square.

The boys are so delighted that Even is there. And it makes me laugh so hard that Magnus is excited about getting to meet Even, L M A O. I mean, even if he assumed that Isak and Even were just going to have a long talk and not bang it out, how awkward would that have been? Who wants to meet your friend’s sorta-maybe-potential boyfriend when they’re presumably about to have a serious discussion about the fragile state of their relationship?

And of course Isak is like FUCK THAT about his friends meeting Even right then and there. Tarjei’s delivery of, “You can’t meet him, what the fuck are you saying?” is perhaps underrated in its comedy.

Lmao, Isak gets so cranky here, too, he went from soft “Smiley?” Isak to RARRRRR grumpy teenage boy in like two seconds. All thanks to Even’s presence, of course!

Bless Jonas yet again for just immediately starting to pack up, no questions asked.

This is a Romeo + Juliet song when the boys start leaving ( “Local God” by Everclear”). I believe it was used in the film when Romeo and his crew are hanging out, so it’s a bro song. We don’t hear any of the lyrics in the clip but they sure are interesting:

I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys. We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. I feel just like a local god when I'm with the boys.  We do what we want, yes, we do what we want. We do what we want. Yeah, we do what we want. Be my Romeo,  Tell me all about your love,  Tell me all about your pain, Baited breath and rubber gloves.  Be my Romeo,  My go-go Romeo,  I see you twist and turn,  You look so fuckin' stupid.

So yes, bro song with direct mentions of Romeo.

All the chaos and casual catastrophe of the boys getting up to leave, I love it. It’s all the typical stuff when you leave a party - where’s my phone, where are my shoes, what’s happening, etc.

Also that Isak herds them out the back door, he really does not want Even to meet them, it’s gonna be too awkward and it’ll be anything but chill if Even knows Isak sent his friends away to get some alone time with Even.

“These aren’t even my shoes!” I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, I truly love these teenage failboats with all my heart.

They are champs for leaving when Isak asked them to, like even with all the confusion this was relatively swift and efficient.

Oh my God, guys. When Isak shuts the door, "Local God” (the song associated with his friends) instantly stops, and he is left there alone, for just a second, and the opening of Lykke Li’s “Tonight” starts … I get butterflies in my stomach. Isak is nervous, I’m nervous, we’re all nervous. What good directing from Julie, switching so quickly from a comedic mood to this vulnerable romantic mood, and how she can do that in just a few seconds with some well-chosen music and a moment to breathe.

Yeah, that moment to breathe, from Isak … where he shuts the door and looks toward the other side where Even is knocking, and takes just a brief pause to collect himself, and you can see how unsure of himself he is … good acting, good directing, just. Good.

AND THEN HE OPENS THE DOOR AND EVEN LOOKS LIKE THAT

I honestly do not feel Isak opened the door with the intention of getting laid, or that Even came over with the intention of getting laid. Especially Even, actually. I think Even really just panicked at the thought of losing Isak and ran over. It’s possible that maybe Even was even going to explain a bit - I don’t know if he was going to go over everything, necessarily, but I think Even wanted to make some things clear - that he wasn’t with Sonja, or that he wanted to be with Isak. I don’t know how he would have brought up his bipolar disorder though I guess it’s possible he could have pushed himself to do so. And maybe in that little pause moment, before Isak opened the door, he thought to himself about the possibilities of what could happen when they were alone, but it was wrapped up in every other uncertainty or fear, such as Even dumping him or saying he wanted to end it, or that he couldn’t leave Sonja. But it all changed when Isak opened the door and they looked at each other; they had missed each other so much and wanted each other so much that talk wasn’t happening.

Even looks really rattled and vulnerable when Isak first opens the door, I’m sure he’s thinking over how he’s going to explain himself, maybe psyching himself up to disclose his mental illness, as mentioned. But he softens a little when he registers Isak, because despite everything, it’s Isak.

Isak is trying to keep it together and play it cool at first and then Even Hallas at him a few octaves lower than normal so that’s not happening. Lawd, Henrik.

Even starts to look a little hesitant and nervous again as they pause too long at the door, like, oh right, I ran over here without a clear invitation. Is this okay? Am I welcome? Should I go?

But obviously Isak is just like, fuck it, and goes in for the kiss. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Isak initiated the kiss, Isak has been proactive throughout the evening, Isak is more assured in his sexuality that he can do this.

You know what else has experienced character development? Isak’s tongue. 

The first time I watched that part I think my eyebrows legit jumped off my face. No offense but gay storylines on TV frequently feature dry, tight-lipped, no-homo kissing so it’s nice when actors actually kiss like they mean it. Isak and Even really want each other, it’s believable.

But seriously, this is actual progress for Isak and demonstrates that he’s more grounded and confident in his sexuality.

That moment when they break off the kiss for just a second - I’m pretty sure it’s Even who breaks it off to look at Isak, as if to ask whether he’s sure he wants this. And Isak wastes barely any time before diving back in, by way of an answer. Not gonna lie, that moment when characters stop kissing to look at each other, searching for an answer in the other’s face, is one of those romance tropes that I enjoy, so this was a good scene for me.

Even lost his denim jacket somewhere between the front hallway and Isak’s bedroom, by the way. I’m just imagining Eskild or Noora stepping over it when they got home and being like, yep, Isak had a busy night. (Linn would probably step on the jacket and not notice.)

Even shoves Isak against a wall because he is living that fanfic life.

Kudos once again to Tarjei and Henrik because they really keep kissing and stay in their character’s passionate mindset. There’s a moment where they sort of break off to start undressing and Even swoops in for another brief kiss - it feels like these two seriously can’t stop kissing, they want to be kissing, and it’s a small moment but it makes it feel like they genuinely desire each other.

Lol, Even was going to take off his hoodie first but then decided to divest Isak of his shirt, what a gentleman.

I don’t know why I love that snapback coming off but I do. It’s just funny to me in a way? Like the snapback would get knocked off anyway when Isak took off his shirt but he’s instead he has to make a Moment of it. You know shit’s getting real when the hat comes off.

This bit that goes from against the wall to in the middle of the room shirtless (they moved around!) is just so tender??? Like that bit where Even taps Isak’s lip with his thumb and gets in a quick nose rub. What the fuck. 

I mentioned this in my episode 5 review but this scene is what made up the footage in the mysterious hiatus trailer that had everyone in a tizzy for 10 days, except not all of the footage in that trailer made it into this clip, so there’s extra Evak sex scene footage out there. I am sure this would be of interest to no one, obviously.

Not to be weird but I legit think it is nice that Tarjei is doing this scene with this large zit on his forehead because that’s OK! People don’t have perfect skin when they have sex. 

I feel like Isak is having a spiritual experience when Even goes down his body, like he’s not even entirely there. Is this happening to me??? 

Also, totally a callback to the very first scene of the season, when Emma tries to blow Isak in the bathroom and he’s not having it. He does not express such reluctance when Even goes down on him. A+ narrative parallels, Julie, A+.

But this was a really good first time scene (if you believe, as I do, that this was their first time together) and a lovely sex scene that wasn’t either too exploitative or too coy. The Evak sex scenes are handled very well in this season. 

And Lykke Li’s “Tonight” was a gooooood choice. How simple and painful is the desire behind those lyrics. You can just imagine how Isak and Even have been missing each other and pining, and how this song expresses the feeling that they don’t want to let each other go. And all this emotion goes unspoken, tonight they’re not going to talk about their heartbreak, tonight they’re just going to show each other all that pent-up longing.

But also, the end song over the credits, “Crave” by Pharrell Williams??? Spectacular. We watch this emotional scene set to this incredibly sweet song full of longing and vulnerability and then the credit song is just like … sex. Sex is a thing that is happening. It is the equivalent of an eyebrows waggle and a suggestive wink. Bet you can guess what they were doing after the credits rolled!

I love this show so much, oh my God.

Social Media/General Comments:

The text that Isak sends in reply to Even’s cheese toastie drawing seems so polite, like Isak rewrote it a million times trying to decide on the right tone and phrasing and everything and finally went for something very neutral, trying to reestablish the conversation between the two of them without seeming too eager.

Eskild sends Isak a long-ish text after their talk on Sunday, where he basically strives to give Isak more encouragement. You can tell he really thought over what he said to Isak because he truly wants to be helpful to him and be a good guru. He realizes Isak is young and probably in his first relationship with a guy, and Eskild can’t help but feel protective and not want Isak to get his heart broken. It’s honestly such a sweet message, because Eskild is first and foremost looking out for Isak’s well-being. Like … there’s a thing in media (and fanfic, sometimes) where a character’s friends are more concerned with making sure their romance works out, rather than whether this romance is right and good for the friend. Isak’s friends in this season are supportive of Evak, but they’re Team Isak first, and they’re not afraid to tell Isak when they think Even is doing Isak dirty or when it might not work out. See also: Jonas in this week’s Fredag clip.

Anyway, Eskild tells Isak how happy he is that Isak came to him for advice, and that’s beautiful. It’s supportive of Isak relying on his friends rather than bottling up his feelings. And he says that he thinks Isak is brave- incredible, show-stopping, spectacular, etc. I mean telling Isak he is brave? What a wonderful thing to say to a kid who’s still in the early stages of coming out and is dealing with a ton of insecurities. Eskild is the fucking best, guys.

But he’s also offering to hook up Isak with someone and help him move on to another guy if that’s what Isak wants, lol. Getting in his jab about tights and mascara but in a good-natured way.

You know who else is the fucking best? Jonas. Isak texts him about the rumors with Even spreading and Jonas is so supportive and sweet, offering to talk to the guys for Isak and telling him not to stress over it. With a heart emoji, no less ❤️

Isak also decides that he should be the one to tell the guys. My brave boy!

Jonas also posts an IG on the same day of the text with him and Isak as Simon & Garfunkel, with the hashtag #bros. Basically a show of support for Isak. Like. CAN YOU BELIEVE. My heart gets so warm thinking about these kids. Skam is a space heater for my soul.

Text between Kollektivet where Linn does not want to leave on Friday and Eskild is dragging Linn out of her cave. I mean, sometimes you want to chill, but this is probably good for Linn. Get her out of the house.

Text between the boy squad after Isak comes out to all of them. They’re able to rib him about his “family dinner” so things are back to normal.

I want to mention that Isak uses a Broad City gif. I don’t know if Isak actually watches Broad City, but the idea is pretty funny.

I know Magnus can be dense as hell but he uses a gif of Sam Rockwell in Galaxy Quest in response to Isak’s drag and like, Galaxy Quest is the greatest film of all time so clearly Magnus is a man of superior taste and intellect.

PS he says something that translates to “never giving up hope” and I’m going to take that he meant “never give up, never surrender.”

Mahdi says Friday is going to be nice because “bros united.” Awwww! That’s especially nice coming from him since he and Isak had the friction; I feel like this is his way of saying he’s really over what happened between them and he just wanted them all to be OK.

I remember when this episode was airing in real time, people had a lot of theories about what would happen on Friday. Jonas mentions an Elvebakken party and Magnus mentions a gay bar. I remember people thinking they might go to the Elvebakken and see Even, or hear about Even’s past from Bakka people, or that they’d go to the gay bar and Isak would hook up with someone or run into Even or something. Instead Isak never made it out of his apartment, lmao.

Also, Magnus being like, “I’m up for a gay bar” is not hurting my bi Magnus headcanon at all. I know, I know, he’s that bumbling straight friend. Still!

Isak texts Eskild about his second drawing and Eskild is like, “Play hard to get.” Which obviously did not work on Friday. He also calls Isak his little godkitten which is. Adorable.

As I mentioned above, Magnus posted a pic of the boy squad at the pre-drink and that’s why I think Even might have seen it and moseyed over in that direction and was already lurking in the vicinity, as to account for him showing up so fast.

[haleyfury]

Even though I feel like I dedicated more time to reading, given the amount of books I read, I also dived into a lot of TV this year. I’m always on the hunt for TV shows that I know I’ll likely enjoy from the get-go or will only take a few episodes to get into. With a few exceptions, the biggest theme of my TV watching in 2019 was watching shows with episodes between 20-20 minutes. I feel like I watched a lot of shows in 2018 and even earlier in the year that were hitting the near the 60 minute mark, so I think my head was just ready for some lighter and shorter episodes. As per usual, comedy also made up most of my watching.

Favorites

Derry Girls S1 & S2 (Netflix)

I’m likely going to say this about nearly every show on this list, but I love everything about Derry Girls! This show is set in 1990s Ireland and follows a group of very dysfunctional friends growing up in Derry. Only six episodes per season at 25 minutes each, I highly recommend binge-watching both seasons available on Netflix over one day—even though you’ll be on one of the worst TV show hangovers after.

Sex Education S1 (Netflix)

My friends kept telling me watch Sex Education back in March and I’m so glad they did. The premise- a socially awkward teenager provides sex guidance to his classmates inspired by his growing up with his sex psychologist of a mother- completely sold. I’m so excited for season 2 in January.

Grace and Frankie S1-S5 (Netflix)

I spent June and July absolutely obsessed with Grace and Frankie. The show had been on my radar for a while and I can’t believe I didn’t watch it sooner because it’s become one of my all-time favorite shows. Grace and Frankie is one of the few shows that is guaranteed to make me laugh out loud every episode. I recently got my best friend to watch it, and it’s been so fun re-following it along wit her. I definitely see myself rewatching a few episodes before Season 6 premieres in January.

Workin’ Moms S1-S3 (Netflix)

Workin’ Moms was the first show I dived into when I moved back home for the summer. The show follows a group of friends who are all dealing with the challenges of being working mothers while also finding themselves in a wide range of shenanigans and relationship problems. There’s definitely some mature content, aka sex, in this one that makes for a lot of funny moments. This is another gem that my best friend and I are both obsessed with.  We texted non-stop when S2 dropped this summer, and we had both finished S3 during by the second weekend of the fall semester. We’re unfortunately in for the long haul when it comes to S4 being available in the US, since it airs first on CBC and then goes to Netflix US after. It’s set to air in Canada during winter 2020, which means we likely won’t have it in the US until 2021.

The Politician S1 (Netflix)

If I can only show one show on this list to have the next season immediately, I would hands-down choose The Politician S2. I loved everything about this dreamed, and it definitely reignited my celeb crush on Ben Platt. Its 40+ minute episodes had me hooked throughout each episode. It definitely has a bizarre moment or two- it truly is a blend of AHS, Glee, and American Crime Story meeting high school politics- but it works so, so well! I’ve also been listening to the music/covers from the show non-stop. I’m so happy that we only have to wait until June for S2.

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel S3 (Prime)

Considering that I’ve only watched three episodes so far, I am cheating a bit with The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, but how could I not love the latest season of one of my all-time favorite TV shows?? Based on what I’ve watched so far, I’m once again in love with the cinematography and how much this show gives me Gilmore Girls vibes. I’m also so interested in each other character’s development this season, and I really don’t know what to expect from Midge and Joel’s relationship.

Schitt’s Creek S1-S5 (Pop TV/Netflix)

After seeing all the Twitter hype, I watched the first few episodes of Schitt’s Creek this summer and couldn’t really get into it. It wasn’t until this October when I was in a semi-TV watching slump after The Politician that I decided to give it another shot. And I’m so happy I did because this show completely dominated my TV-watching in October and November! Schitt’s Creek is truly a show that gets better and better with each season, and the character and relationship development is done so well. This is another show that is almost guaranteed to make me laugh-out-loud at least one time per episode.

Sugar Rush S2 & Sugar Rush Christmas (Netflix)

There always has to be at least one baking show on my favorites list, with this year’s being Sugar Rush.

Last Chance U

Like baking shows, football-inspired shows have also become a trend in my TV life. Last Chance U is a docuseries following two community colleges where players dream of making it to D1 schools after experiencing myriad setbacks. My dad watched the show along with me earlier in the year, and we were able to watch S4 together this summer.

All-Time Favorite for the Year: Grace and Frankie

Honorable Mentions

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S6 (NBC)

I loved Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 6, but I feel I didn’t LOVE it as much as some of the earlier seasons. My favorite episodes were “Honeymoon,” “Hitchcock and Scully,” and “The Golden Child.”

Selling Sunset S1 (Netflix)

I watched a lot of reality TV in high school, and although I don’t watch too much of it anymore outside two or three shows on TLC, I still have a small craving for it. Enter Selling Sunset, a reality show about women who sell high-end houses in LA. Trust me, it works, having binge-watched the entire season over the last two days of my spring break. It’s rumored that there will be a second season in February.

Outdaughtered (TLC)

My favorite TLC show (no worries, Say Yes to the Dress is right up there along with it, Outdpaughtered is my go-to reality TV show.

Girls Incarcerated S1&S2 (Netflix)

Girls Incarcerated is the more serious version of Netflix’s Jailbirds (another Netflix hit this summer that I also really enjoyed), following teenage girls in juvenile detention centers.

Catastrophe (Prime)

I watched Catastrophe back in September in between Workin’ Moms and The Politician. It definitely took me a few episodes to settle into it, but I enjoyed its off-beatness and maturity.

Friends From College S2 (Netflix)

Although I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first season,  Friends From College really delivered in the plot development and humor departments. I’m actually a little sad that the show won’t be returning for a third season.

Rilakkuma and Kaoru (Netflix)

As someone who doesn’t really watch animated shows, I found myself obsessed with Rilakkuma and Kaoru back in April. This show put the biggest smile on my face and I would absolutely love a second season.

Insatiable S2 (Netflix)

The biggest guilty pleasure on this list, I enjoyed Insatiable S2 way more than the show’s first season. This show is absolutely ridiculous but always had me invested and entertained.

Big Little Lies S2 (HBO)

Although I watched it every week and enjoyed a few plot developments, I found that despite its messages and awareness, Big Little Lies S2 was unnecessary.

The Bold Type S3 (Freeform)

Another situation where I totally wasn’t in love, but I found myself tuning into The Bold Type each week. Sutton and Richard are still my faves.

The Assassination of Gianni Versace (FX/Netflix)

My sisters and I spent MLK Day weekend binge-watching The Assassination of Gianni Versacewhen it hit Netflix. As Glee fans, we were so excited to watch Darren Criss. While the middle episodes lagged for me, I totally understand the hype and praise for this show overall.

What TV shows were you obsessed with this year? Any of the above? Do you have any recommendations for me? Share in the comments!

ALMOST EVERYTHING I WATCHED: Favorite TV Shows 2019 Even though I feel like I dedicated more time to reading, given the amount of books I read, I also dived into a lot of TV this year.