#sexualizing trauma 🥰✨️

[craycraybluejay]

come. take my hand. sexualize trauma with me.

[morkedfish]

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About Me ;)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Althea/Al/Alt

͟͟͞͞➳❥Or Fish, Fosh

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༊*·˚19 years old ✨️

༊*·˚She/her

༊*·˚Gemini >:)

༊*·˚INFP 😩

༊*·˚Queer 💅

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Description (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

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I will treat you as you treat me and my friends 🥰

I am

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷An artist 💕

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷Childish and chaotic 🥰

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳Not your therapist 💕💅

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷A sweetheart if you want me to be 💕

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷An affectionate bully to friends 💅

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳Amateur Poetry writer 💅

I like talking to people! I'm an introvert at heart though, so if I don't respond don't take it personally, I just need a minute to recharge :D

I will always respond eventually 💕 and I don't, I probably thought I responded, so send another text! I don't bite 💅

I am, however, emotionally unavailable for any trauma dumping, I care and will try my best to help, but I'm not obligated to anything if I don't know you 💕

Also, all I ever experienced Tumblr was through Pinterest, so I'm learning this app and all the mysterious functions. Be nice 🥰💕💅

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DNI!!!

If you are homophobic, sexist, racist, just generally judge someone based on things they cannot control

Do not dm me if your intentions are romantic or sexual, I will not tolerate you.

If you genuinely cannot stand me, scroll away or block me, don't go out of your way to make both our lives miserable

If you spread genuine hatred, get out 💅

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Current Songs

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Extra 💅

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Consultant to: @chaoffee ☕️

╰┈➤ also took inspiration from him for this pinned post

Certified FNAF Security Guard 🥰

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[elvensorceress]

✨️💫🌿🤲🕯

If you're so inclined 💙💙

Ro, beloved! Thank you! (Sorry this took a few days. Work is 🫠🫠🫠)

✨What’s a fic you’ve posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

The Orpheus/Eurydice inspired series.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

My favorite comments are when people point out their favorite parts or when they tell me what they enjoyed, how they felt, what moved them -- those kinds of things. :) I also think it's fun when people get really analytical and find little details I threw in or even when they ask questions about my thought process or how the story came to be.

I'm also very fond of all the comments from people telling me the way I write ace/demi!Eddie makes them feel Seen. I know it's helped me work through and accept a lot of things about myself, and I'm always so so happy when people tell me it's helped them, too. Identifying as ace/demi has always been something that made me feel very weird, wrong, insufficient, etc... and if it helps anyone else feel better about themselves and their own sexuality, there's nothing more rewarding.

🌿how does creating make you feel?

Lovely! Expressive and fulfilled. 🥰

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

I mentioned this some when I wrote about why I write, but it's an emotional outlet for me as well as something therapeutic where I get to put thoughts, feelings, ideas into characters and make them tell a story. It brings me joy being able to write difficult things but give them happy resolutions, and one of the biggest things that made me want to be a writer was telling stories about people who don't typically have stories told about them.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?

Most of my bigger, longer fics took turns that I didn't expect. I usually go into a fic with an idea in mind but sometimes when I go to write, it ends up completely different. Either the characters take over and come out differently than expected or something comes up that wasn't planned but seems interesting so I go along and follow it.

Now to answer more specifically, we're going to put this under a cut. I ramble a lot. I'm sorry 💕

Unless You Ask Me To is absolutely one of these. It started, conceptually, as a little, maybe 25K kind of fic (yes, this is little to me 🤣) where Eddie goes on a couple dates with a guy, Buck gets jealous, and they get together. I had a whole first draft and it was supposed to be simple, straightforward, over and done thing, and it wasn't even 20K.

And then I started thinking about it. And wondering about the other things I could do with the set up that I had. Such as, what if this random guy becomes Eddie's boyfriend and Eddie has to work through relationship issues like his traumas from past, his worries about abandonment, his difficulties with vulnerability and emotional intimacy, and (because this is me) him struggling with asexuality and wanting sex vs having sex, coping with having had sex that he didn't want but essentially forced himself into because it was something his partners wanted, and taking his canon anxiety/panic attack(s) and making him confront this in more depth.

And because I put him in a relationship with someone who was not his best friend, partner, coparent, love of his life, it let me play with things that imo wouldn't necessarily come up were he to be in a relationship with Buck. Or wouldn't come up in the same way since it's set somewhere beyond season 6 or at least beyond 6a, so Buck and Eddie are already SO very devoted, committed, and in love with each other. Even though they have yet to realize this. 🙃 But they're already in a place where even though they haven't addressed many of their Issues, they are veryveryvery close and vulnerable with each other and turn to each other for most everything.

So, this one has become difficult to write just because it is so massively flipping long now and there are a lot of struggles with sex, with panic and anxiety and bad triggers, with relationships, with self-worth that are not easy things to feel or confront. (There is also the whole part where I made two of Eddie's worst nightmares come to life, and it put him in a very very depressed broken state.)

But it's also been one of the most rewarding fics to write? It feels like people have connected to it and like they've been enjoying the whole epically long journey. I mean. We're over 150K now and the boys are still not together and 🫠🫠🫠🫠 what is that about. That's a hard thing to stick with when that relationship is the favorite core thing for most of us.

But that's been another fun, unexpected thing I got to play with -- because Eddie had a boyfriend for a good half of the fic, I really got to lean into the juxtaposition between a relationship that was good and healthy and didn't have issues per se, and a relationship that is the biggest best most beautiful and most right soulmate supreme kind of love. It's easy to write a messy incompatible disaster relationship and say that one with his best friend would be better. Obviously it would lol. But I think it was interesting and more telling to show him in a relationship that wasn't bad (and in fact eventually helps him resolve some issues) but it just wasn't right. And it makes the Buddie relationship shine all the brighter for it.

Anyway, this is a lot of midnight rambling 🤣 but tl;dr - Unless went completely off the rails, but I've really been enjoying the journey and I hope everyone else does, too.

And the next chapter should be finished and posted around Wednesday this week. It's going to be a very fun one. ;)

Thank you so much for the questions! I love and adore you and hope you have a wonderful week! 💕💕💕💕💕💕