#she always acts surprised and horrified at the fact that i'm self-conscious and refuse to leave the house if i don't look perfect | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mishkakagehishka · 1 year

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And i know when i return i'll either be yelled at or laughed off like little girl throws tantrum or whatever. But i'm genuinely getting real sick of the way i'm treated vs the way my brother is treated. And they don't even notice that shit. I tell my mom "you never take my side and defend me, when i caved and let you take me to get my eyebrows threaded, you said nothing when my brother said i 'finally look like a human being'" and surprise surprise she "doesn't remember that", he "doesn't remember that", but it cut soooo deep into me, i'll never forget it. Whatever tho.

#you know i kept getting scolded bc of how not-independent i am #i was told i'd never be able to live alone bc i can't clean and cook perfectly #and i was told i never helped around the house (i did. a lot.)#when i moved they were all surprised how well i was doing as if they never saw me do chores #my brother on the other hand can't cook nor clean #i do everything and that's totally normal to them. they had no worries ab him #it's only now that i keep crying bc he makes everything harder for me that my mother is upset #not for me!!! but for his ''future wife''#what about your fucking daughter. you've got some high hopes of having a daughter-in-law with the way he is anyway #she always acts surprised and horrified at the fact that i'm self-conscious and refuse to leave the house if i don't look perfect #and she's the one who kept pushing all these beauty standards on me #whenever i'd fucking look to her BEGGING for her to be on my side and defend me for once against my brother and dad's cruel comments #she's the one who was the most aggressive about it #she told me i need to be more assertive and stand up for myself as if every single time i tried standing up for myself #i wasn't called šjora štufa or spoilt or selfish or ungrateful or told to shut up otherwise #the ones who raised me to be like that now find fault in it and BLAME ME

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