#she and the tutorial advisor are lesbians 2 me

[mercurials]

marquise de cat

[dragonsdendoodles]

tell us about your medieval au‼️ (if you wanna :3)

Hehehehehe so

In case anyone didn’t know, this is a direct result of me inputting these characters into The Sims Medieval, a game from 2011 (nice) that is WAY too chaotic for what it is. For those who haven’t played it, you can only have ten playable sims per file (sorry Olive and Claire) and all of them have different jobs and they go on quests together sometimes. They also cannot all be added at the same time, so I decided basically when I started this that what happened was that everyone got Umbrella Academy season 2’ed and have all just kind of been plopped in at a different time and left to fend for themselves. They all already know each other, they have been stolen directly from their books. So here is a list of everyone’s jobs, other sims I have added or plan to add as NPCs, and some shenanigans that have actually happened in this game.

Miss Peregrine - Monarch. All hail Lady Alma the Great. She is the queen and is the best queen in the kingdom of Peculiardom and also no one else is allowed to be in charge ever.

Jacob - Jacoban Priest. Yes that is what the religion is actually called, and yes that is why he had to be that. He fucking hates it. He hated being famous, imagine having the same name as the figurehead of an entire religion in a time period where people are more likely to at the VERY least call you a reincarnation and put you in charge of a church than call it coincidence. Because the Jacoban faith is the scary, “you will go to hell” of the two, I’ve decided it’s only considered “intense” because what Jacob actually does instead of preaching is trauma dump about Caul, and he was taken from his story early enough to not be able to do that without physically shaking.

Emma - Wizard. Only one of them was allowed to have their powers still and I decided Emma might die without hers.

Millard - Physicist. Because he’s the smart one.

Bronwyn - Peteran Priest. If the other church is going to be known for being “the nice one” of the two, Bronwyn’s being put in charge. Jacob and Bronwyn are the only two members of opposite religions to not despise each other and everyone else is incredibly confused.

Enoch - Spy. It was that or wizard. And Emma already took that one. So now he’s pretending to be really badass when in reality he’s in a private room in the castle smacking a training dummy with the flat part of his sword he is horrendous at using.

Horace - Blacksmith. The closest I could get to anything fashion related. He also hates it, but mostly because he’s a scrawny-ass twink (me too buddy it’s okay) and being a blacksmith takes muscle he does not have and also it’s messy and also Enoch gets to live at the castle and he doesn’t.

Olive (to be added) - Princess. I spent a full hour learning how to mod this incredibly breakable game because I learned I wasn’t going to be able to play as Olive and for some reason I guess people in medieval times just. Didn’t adopt children. So Olive gets to go with Miss Peregrine, because she deserves it.

Claire (to be added) - Princess. Same deal as Olive. The best princesses in all of Peculiardom. (I haven’t actually tested if the game even with the mods will let me give them both to Perekoo, so if not Olive can be the Princess and I’ll give Claire to Emwyn so she can be a Lil’ Prioress.)

Hugh - Bard. Just because I thought it fit. It was very unfortunate that they made him live in the tavern before I had Fiona though.

Fiona - Merchant. I wanted her to sell flowers.

Noor (to be added) - Knight. Being the only peculiar actually willing to be in the war, I thought it fit her pretty well.

Miss Cuckoo - Royal Advisor. Because the game’s tutorial immediately asked me if Miss Peregrine was a lesbian, and I knew what had to be done.

Julius (to be added) - Merchant. (The NPC kind.) Purely because @carmine-golde said I should add him so Enoch can have someone to absolutely despise.

Lilly - Nurse. Because I don’t think I can do Fughllard (sigh) and I’ve always really liked Lilly. So she can work with Millard.

Ricky (to be added) - Merchant. (Also the NPC kind.) Because there’s already a Merchant Ricky the game generated on its own, and I need to find him again and customize him so we can have Ricky back.

Now, a list of things that have actually happened in this save file, and may or may not be drawn at some point:

That time Enoch and Emma killed a man while Horace was maybe thirty feet away, an event I can only imagine sounded like “HEY BABE WATCH THIS” CRUNCH

Millard walking into Bronwyn’s sermon to say hi to her and Emma, then leaving the millisecond he realized it was church

Jacob’s sermons being entirely composed of treating the congregation like a therapy group (Hugh and Enoch show up sometimes for moral support)

Emma needing to heal the big magical deadly pit beast (sound familiar?) and Jacob’s quest line literally being titled “And I’m involved in this… how?”

Enoch doing half a spy mission hungover, which was entirely Horace’s fault

That time Millard was flirted with by five separate women and still didn’t get the hint

Enoch being put in the stocks twice for failing to pickpocket somebody unnoticed, the second time after drinking an invisibility potion that was still active

That time Miss Peregrine said in the game itself, after receiving a bird as a gift, “When I was a kid I wanted to be a bird when I grew up. This is the next best thing!” (Miss P I’m so sorry)

Emma and Bronwyn kissing completely unprompted

Enoch and Horace spending multiple hours kissing completely unprompted when they had actual things they needed to be doing and also were very much in public

Hugh playing the lute while people were being shoved into the death pit

Enoch being very bad at using a sword. At this point I’m convinced he doesn’t even use the sharp bit of the blade I think he just beats the shit out of people with the flat edge like a baseball bat

Emma walking up to Miss Cuckoo and completely unapologetically apologizing for fireballing a guy in the face (he was fine)

Fiona walking up to Enoch at the war strategy table (where he literally ALWAYS is) and him immediately telling her about the people he tortures information out of for his job