#she could be putting towards my father who is...... so vile & nasty & angry & unkind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweatermuppet · 2 years

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i made a negative comment about my body in front of my ma recently & immediately she went "well how do you think that's going to impact your brother?" (who was in the room) & like. my entire life ive heard my ma say "oh please no pictures of me, i hate how i look." + "i can't wear shorts, i hate my legs" + "look at this stomach, I'll never get rid of it." & grew up being told i look so much like her, not just in the face, but my entire body so essentially "you look just like a woman who hates how she looks, but don't worry, you look fine." + when i was on T my fat changed from being mostly on my thighs + hips to being on my stomach which is very much how my grandpa was shaped & ma is always saying "he would have been much happier if he lost weight" like im just soooo 🧍🏻‍♂️

#always being told think of how this will hurt your brother!! who i.... essentially raised. taught him all the ways to be not like #our parents & the one time i say smthng abt myself...... it's not abt me it's not abt comforting me it's abt how it could possibly #hurt my brother #body mention #weight mention #ill delete this im just sooooo. upset lately #about all the ways i act both positive & negative being monitored & corrected because???? my entire responsibility in life #is to be a role model to my younger brother #& i lov him!!! i lov taking care of him & teaching him things but im not his father #like all the energy ma puts into telling me im such an awful older brother such a bad example #she could be putting towards my father who is...... so vile & nasty & angry & unkind

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