Can we talk about mitsuham I think we should talk about mitsuham yes Iād like that very much
Imagine Mitsuru her life has been planned out for her by a bunch of men her choices are not hers to make every move is political she is nothing but a tool forced to fight as a child never allowed to burden anyone with her feelings. Her life isnāt hers, itās never been hers for a second, she exists to further the careers of the men around her. The first two friends she makes are both boys and she was in charge of leading them, using them just to further the Kirijo agenda. Genuine friendship did blossom between them, but things fell apart pretty quickly. Shinjiro canāt control Castor, something is seriously wrong with him, he kills someone, then he leaves and the Kirijos cover it up. Was it to protect him, or to protect themselves? Mitsuru certainly doesnāt know anymore but sheās lost a friend and canāt reach him again, heās too traumatized by personas and Akihiko is still there but heās always so stuck on Shinjiro and Mitsuru feels like she failed both of them. Just more men for her to let down by not being good enough
Then thereās Kotone. Sweet, strong, clumsy, talented Kotone. Sheās so bubbly and friendly, but behind those warm smiles is horrible loneliness. Pain. But sheās never ever gonna let anyone see that. She busies herself by taking care of everyone else, listening to their problems and never burdening them with her own feelings. She can just fix everything and make everyone happy if she works herself hard enough. She just has this way about her, so reliable and so kind
And Mitsuru watches Kotone from above. Trusts her to be the leader, or maybe she just wanted to push a burden onto someone else for a change. Someone whoās able to take on burdens with a smile for fucks sake. And Kotone leads, seemingly effortlessly, and is able to recruit several members in a short time and achieve just so much more than Mitsuru could in her entire lifetime. Just, perfectly. Without even possessing any prior knowledge of the dark hour or personas. And she does this while being so emotional, so social, so weird, so fucking cute, itās absolutely nauseating. This should be fine, right? Itās what Mitsuruās always wanted, for someone else to ease her burden. And hell, itās a woman too, a woman whoās perfectly capable of doing it all without a bunch of men helping her. Itās inspiring, isnāt it?
But thereās the pain. The envy. Kotone is perfect and she doesnāt even have to try. Mitsuru on the other hand has been shaving herself down to nothing just to be allowed a place. She makes the perfect grades and wears the beautiful clothes and applies the fucking makeup and is mature for her age and never speaks out or feels anything that could possibly make her be seen as a human, a filthy fucking human. So why does a woman as unashamed as Kotone get to have it all? And why is Mitsuru still here, still acting as the Kirijo tool, still doing whatever she possibly can to hurt herself to make a man feel better? Why isnāt she useful anywhere? Itās not fair
And then when she actually spends the time with Kotone sheās trying so hard to be that wise and mature figure sheās always been, trying so hard to force herself to smile through the pain, but sheās talking to someone who can see right through that shit cuz Kotone Shiomi invented lying through her teeth to make others feel better. Itās annoying really, how Kotone is supposed to be the childish one, yet itās Mitsuru who canāt get it together and canāt seem to look into those bright eyes without breaking. And Kotone isnāt disgusted by what she sees, even though Mitsuru is being unreasonable and emotional and talking about wanting to run away and how much she hates her life and how sheās not only eating fast food but enjoying it, letting herself enjoy an indulgence that wonāt make her pretty anymore. No, Kotone sees this and listens and encourages it and celebrates it, celebrates how utterly human Mitsuru is. She holds her hand and says "let me take on your burden". And itās horrible, this kindness, Mitsuru hasnāt even broken all her bones to make Kotone happy, so why is she being so fucking nice? And then something breaks, and Kotone defends her. Stands up for her against a man. Lets herself once again take a hit to protect someone else. And itās just too familiar, too much to fucking bear, and it pisses Mitsuru the fuck off. And she is able to tell a man to go fuck himself, because no one gets to fucking talk to this girl like she isnāt the most amazing person ever to exist. Not after everything sheās done, everything she still does, not after giving her all and never once asking for anything in return. And in standing up for Kotone, Mitsuru is able to stand up for herself for the first time in her life. And she looks at Kotone and says "letās take on each otherās burdens"
Oh and also they watch a scary movie together and hold hands and ride a motorcycle and Mitsuru calls Kotone adorable I mean thatās pretty gay man
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