#she had this sense of calm and stability that perfectly balanced your neurotic anxiety and pushed you out of your comfort zone
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i’m in full ‘i should text her’ mode help what do i do
#what do you do when 'she' isn't any kind of ex-lover she's your best friend from college who you haven't spoken to in at least 1-2 years#and it's probably your fault the convo died but it's been so long you're scared that it's too late to reach out and reconnect#but you would love to you dream about it all the time... you want to teach her minecraft the way she suggested so you can stay connected#(why were you too scared to accept the request? what's wrong with you?)#you cling to your memories of her from your early college years and the easy closeness the two of you had#she had this sense of calm and stability that perfectly balanced your neurotic anxiety and pushed you out of your comfort zone#and you always got the sense that she enjoyed your company as well... she somehow liked you for your flaws#(we used to say 'hi how are you!' in passing in the hallway and i would say 'tired' or something else honest like that and she liked that!!#i think that's part of why we became friends!#i loved her in some sense of the word... if it was romantic it was hopeless bc she was straight but i also loved her in the close friend way#i am so sorry feel free to ignore this but i am splintering apart#what i'm gathering from this is that i need to draft a message....#extend the olive branch give her my discord ask if it's not too late to keep the bridge between us from crumbling#someone please hold me to this#i have the dream again i have the dream again etc.
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