#she was diagnosed with aggressive terminal 'you have a couple months to live' cancer not too long ago

[tearlessrain]

the thing about karlach's ending that pisses me off is that it doesn't make sense if you do everything you can for her though. the gondians are master workers of infernal iron, and if you liberate the house of hope, and make sure dammon lives, you have all the ingredients needed to help karlach's condition improve. it simply doesn't make sense for her to say that she will NEVER EVER go back to avernus even when you have a safe place to set up an independent hellforge and work on a new non-explosive heart replacement. it frustrated me immensely that in my playthrough because i didn't choose to romance her and i had wyll become a baldur's gate bigwig, she chose actively to explode and die... when i had everything i needed to save her life. to go on the terminal illness theme, it felt to me like she had cancer and i had chemo and she was rejecting it and choosing to die horribly instead of get it treated... which totally does happen IRL, but isn't exactly FAIR to her as a character. it's good writing because it makes me engage emotionally with it to this level but it's frustrating because i felt like i should have been able to save her with the pieces available in the game.

this is all also leaving aside that gale has a scroll of true resurrection in his fuckening satchel. WHY can't i immediately use it on Karlach after she 'plodes lol is Gale really that selfish?

okay fuck it, I'll bite. yeah, it IS unfair and frustrating and she doesn't deserve any of it, and that was kinda the whole point and it's why I think they did such a good job with Karlach's arc. because, again, it was a pretty clear metaphor for terminal illness and the associated grief/helplessness/denial/scrambling for solutions that comes with dealing with it. your chemo metaphor is interesting because as you've mentioned people DO often choose not to go through chemo, because chemo itself is miserable and draining and wrecks your body and is not guaranteed to work, and some people would prefer to just remain as active and present as possible for as long as possible and then go out when it's time, especially if the cancer is aggressive and terminal and chemo may not do much. kind of like going to Avernus would be miserable and draining and dangerous, and Karlach stated many times how much she hates Avernus and would rather die than go back. how on earth does it not make sense that she wouldn't choose that, especially believing as she did that she would immediately be shanghaied back into Zariel's service indefinitely after so many years of being desperate for freedom.

though ironically, people in real life sometimes react to cancer patients choosing not to do chemo or other procedures that suck/are invasive and awful the same way you're reacting to Karlach not wanting to go to Avernus. sometimes, and for some people, it's not about just extending your life as far as possible at any cost. there's a point at which it isn't worth it, and that point is different for everyone. and BOY does that make some folks upset when a loved one's "it's not worth it" point is different from theirs. It's why DNR is a thing, and it's also why you should think very carefully about who you want making medical decisions for you if you're incapacitated and have a talk with that person/clear instructions written up.

I already mentioned in the post that they sort of dropped the ball on not explaining why all those potential avenues don't work so I don't know what you expect me to say about that, but I stand by my previous statement of "all I really need them to say is 'yeah the gondians agree, this thing is fucked' and I'll accept that." I would love for them to add that in. but I don't think it should be fixable.

finally, considering that the scroll of true resurrection was intended to be used on Gale during that quest, yes it's on Larian for letting you revive him in other ways and keep the thing, but it's still metagame-y and I don't think it qualifies as a plot hole so much as a game design flaw. it annoys me when people bring up "why didn't they account for my cheesing in the story" arguments as writing critiques.

[cherryc1nnam0n]

Coffee for your head | Eddie Munson x FEM!Reader

Summary: Eddie is in his death bed... He has so much to say...

Cw: Major angst warning!! Major character death, sad topics, illness, death bed, agonizing, little smut

Writer's note: This is based off Death Bed by Powfu. I was listening to it when coming home from work, and I wanted to write it as Eddie and you

Don't stay away for too long, don't go to bed

I'll make a cup of coffee for your head

It'll get you up and going out of bed

"I'm sorry, you don't have long enough... Maybe, 4 months"

That was the moment their lives changed

Only at age 25 Eddie Munson has been diagnosed with lung cancer, terminal, there was nothing the doctors could do to safe him

"Eddie... No..." You had whispered grabbing his hand

A lonely tear had left his eye without him noticing, he just let out an anguished breath

Yeah, I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away

I been thinking of our future, 'cause I'll never see those days

I don't know why this has happened, but I probably deserve it

I tried to do my best, but you know that I'm not perfect

"I would recommend enjoying the last moments you have together, do the things you love, eat what you like, just, make good memories in the mean time"

The couple had gone home in silence, quiet sobs being heard from her as she held his hand during the ride home

They had moved together 3 years ago, making a small apartment their safe home, but now it had became all moody and sad

It was no lie that Eddie smoked a lot, since he was a teen, but his cancer had been too aggressive and it was taking him out really fast

"What am I gonna do without you Eddie?" You said sobbing into his chest as he held you close to him

"Live..." You cried even harder

"I can't live without you Eddie, you're my whole life"

I been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health

When I leave this Earth, hoping you'll find someone else

'Cause, yeah, we still young, there's so much we haven't done

Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son

That night he tried to calm you down my making love to you, slow and tender, with lots of love in each move he made, his kisses filled with sorrow and pain, he knew he didn't have long to do this so he had to enjoy the moments he had you

During the days his health went downhill, he couldn't move a lot, his breathing would be different during the night, you prayed every night to whoever was out there to save him but they never seemed to answer back

Soon he had to use oxygen to breath properly, moving out of the bed was too much work as time went on

"It's almost time for me to go baby..." He had said to you one day

You had cried onto his chest, begging him not to leave you

I wish it could be me, but I won't make it out this bed

I hope I go to Heaven, so I see you once again

My life was kinda short, but I got so many blessings

Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending

"I love you so much Y/n..."

"I love you too Eddie"

"You'll find someone else baby, someone who will love you so much" you shook your head

"I only want you, you're my only love"

He caressed your cheek

I'm happy that you here with me, I'm sorry if I tear up

When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up

Taking goofy videos and walking through the park

You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark

"Remember that day at the fair? When you got lost and I found you near the fountain?" You nodded "I'll find you again in another life baby"

Cuddle in your sheets, sing me sound asleep

And sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03

Sundays, went to church, on Mondays, watched a movie

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me

"You can go Eddie... Rest my love" you had finally accepted what was to come

"I love you..."

"I love you too..."

With one final smile he closed his eyes and finally left this world...

Don't stay away for too long, don't go to bed

I'll make a cup of coffee for your head

It'll get you up and going out of bed

[melius-placere]

It’s bad again

Don’t know what to do with myself. Therapy doesn’t work, I get stronger and stronger meds to keep me floating. That’s all the psychiatrists seem to want to do with me. More meds...

I wanted 2020 to be a new start, a blank page. New decade, all that shit. But this has been one of the worst years yet.

Right after new years my cat got sick, he started to vomit... ALOT. We’re talking (I kept count) 27 times within 2PM and 7PM. Went to the vet with him, they didn’t know what was wrong. Had to go back and forth with my cat for two weeks. They figured it was a blockage in his guts, so he went through surgery etc. and they took some rutine samples during the operation. He got better and returned to his normal self.

So we went home from being at my dad’s place to back home to my flat. Everything was chill, only that I got the vet bills... fucking almost $2000... I’m on sick leave, so I only get bare minimum from the state to live of. Aka, no funds to pay those bills. My dad had to step in and help me - and I’ll pay back to him as soon as I can. Panic and shame over that, but I live with it.

Then a couple of weeks later, when I thought everything was fine, I got the news... the tests they took from my cat during surgery. Well, it’s terminal cancer. He’s not even 2 years old yet, and depending on how aggressive it is we may have everything from 6 months to a few years left.

I was broken, still am. Then this covid-19 shit started. Every single thing I have that keeps me going is being cancelled. I owe so much money to my dad, my cat of not even 2 years have terminal cancer, everything I have to keep me going is being cancelled.

All of this is pushing me closer and closer to the edge. And now I’ve gotten the news that a close friend of my younger sister has taken his own life. She called me, just crying over the phone. It’s fucking horrible, and I’m so sorry for her.. Fucking hell.

This in turn got me feeling guilt for being in those thoughts right now, making me hate myself even more. When she called and cried triggered - what my doctors think I have, but is yet to be diagnosed - my s.c. PTSD from a traumatic experience that started with her calling me, crying and wailing over the phone.

I feel like shit, then yesterday I felt like I was going to do something good and productive. So I went in and sent out an email from an association that me and a couple of friends have started... turns out I sent it wrong, and made it a group mail... you know... so it technically violates GDPR... I was told this, and it was just too much. I can’t even send a fucking email right. I’m such a worthless fucking waste of space. Broke down alone at home, then I wrote to my friend asking when we should go home for easter (we’re from the same place, a few hours away from where we live now), she won’t go home because of covid-19. So I’ll have to take the train, with my cat. Which is really fucking draining mentally. Again I broke down.

Today I went to therapy. Nothing much happened. Got home, played d&d, it was chill (I thought). Then at the end of the session one of the members felt like he was left out and had no fun playing with us. This was news to us, and we wanted to fix this. He and the DM went and had a private chat to solve things. They talked for a long time, when they came back we asked what we could do to help changing things so everyone has a good time. Our DM and the other guy didn’t say anything, I tried to push and say tell us what we need to do so we can help. Because I don’t want to run someone over and be rude. However they didn’t tell us. DM then asked if we could play again the day after tomorrow, two of us said yes, then the dude who had the talk (let’s call him T) said that he wanted to have longer time until the next session. Everyone else said sure, I joked and said: “I’m the only one... oh noes! Fuck you all, we play that day you little shits!” (like, laughing and saying that) two of them laugh. The DM and T are silent, then DM says: “Nope, if people want longer time between sessions that’s how it’s gonna be! And if someone gives you shit, I will personally bitchslap said person”. I know him, he wasn’t joking. It got awkwardly quiet. This behaviour came up a few more times when we talked. Every fucking time it was when I talked/said something/joked.

The reason T doesn’t have fun on the sessions, well. Because of the DM’s sudden change, I know it’s me who ruins it for T. So I don’t know what to do really. I want to play and have fun, but I obviously annoy people. I’m just in the way...

Don’t even know why I’m writing this.. I’m just.. really tired. I’m always in the way. All I ever do is shit for everyone else... Can’t do this shit anymore.

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #6

It’s barely been half a week and we’ve got enough questions for another round. You folks just keep ‘em coming don’t you?

Anonymous said: You don't have to answer this, but I love your twenty questions posts. They're such a variety and everything is so short and digestible. Kind of a fun way to start my day :)             

I’m glad you like them, and now you get to feature in one! Honestly they’re the only way I have any hope of keeping up with all your questions.

Anonymous asked: Question tax: came for some clarifying information, and stayed because of the thought-provoking concepts this blog provides.  And my question is about the recent ask about muzzles? Why are there greyhound-specific muzzles? I'm sorry if you mentioned it before and I just missed it.

In Australia at least, greyhounds have to race in those muzzles. They’re very light weight and are easy to slip on and off. Greyhounds have very narrow heads compared to other breeds, so non-flexible muzzles often don’t fit them very well. A greyhound muzzle is just like a wire basket and can basically be worn all day, except for meals.If a greyhound is not certified through the Greyhound Adoption Program then it has to wear this muzzle in public by law. The GAP certification means it’s been tested safe around small dogs.

@lessdenied said: Hi Dr. Ferox! I came for the fantasy animals, stayed because it's really interesting seeing the tiny differences between US Vet stuff and Aussie Vet stuff! So, question: My rabbit is very sick with Pasteurella, and even though I'm giving him antibiotics and changing his bedding daily (he's got abscesses from it) and making sure his diet is perfect, it's probably terminal. He's old; we're going to fight until the quality of life is gone, but it'll go eventually. Throughout this, his vet's office has been amazing, and gone above and beyond for us. What can I do to thank the vet and her staff? My go-to would be baked goods and a bunch of coffee/tea with a donation to a local shelter--thoughts? I've already given them a good yelp/google review, since there are a ton of vets where I am and I figured that'd be the most important thanks. Question tax: Marmite or vegemite or neither?

Positive online reviews are extremely welcome because they’re permanent and rare, honestly most folks only go to online review places to complain. Food is always welcome, especially if it’s in an easily dividable form to share between staff members.

A handwritten card with a photo of the pet which thanks staff by name is also more appreciated than people think. It reminds us why we’re in this profession in the first place and if you’re having a bad mental health day they can really pick you up.

And Vegemite for life.

@doctorrichardstrand said: Just wanted to say thanks for all of the euthanasia discussions. i'm not sure if you remember, but i asked a question a while ago about cancer in schnauzers, and literally hours after asking that we had to make that decision for her (the tumor was bleeding internally and she was in pain and we couldn't afford an emergency surgery, it was the day after we found it). it's been reassuring to know the hard decision is often the right one.            

A bleeding abdominal tumor is very rarely a good thing. There’s not anything that can be said to actually lessen your loss but I’m glad it’s comforting to know that making a decision at the time is the right thing to do.

@reachyourlimit said: I asked you a few weeks ago if you'd ever seen ingrown hairs in dogs that wouldn't go away. We saw another vet for my dog's annual 2 weeks ago, and there just so happened to be a dermatologist there giving a presentation, so she brought my dog to see the dermatologist, who immediately suspected hypothyroidism since it was on a pressure point but should have been healing. Did a blood test, and she was right, and it looks like they're finally starting to heal…in case you ever encounter this

That’s different. I’ve certainly had hypothyroidism cause baldness but not hairs that are ingrown before.

Anonymous: Hi, I have a mini poodle who was a rescue, she came to me with a docked tail and no dewclaws, and frequently bites and scratches at her tail and the places her front dewclaws would be. Is this common?

I’m not sure what to tell you without examining the dog, Anon. She might have neuromas at the site of amputation, which are chronically painful but sometimes respond to medication, or she might be genuinely itchy as feet and tail base are common sites to scratch from multiple different causes. You need a vet to examine your pet for more information.

Anonymous said: Hi Dr. Ferox! I love this blog and the lovely fantasy masterposts---they've given me much food for thought! I have a question on feline dental care. My 11 yo cat was just diagnosed with feline tooth resorption. I asked about treatment and the doc said it's a thing that's really common in cats and if the cat doesn't act differently or seem to be in pain (she doesn't), then to leave it alone. Is this true? Should I get a 2nd opinion? The cat is otherwise healthy. Thank you!

I would bet you money that if somebody poked your cat’s lesion, it would show pain. Just because a cat isn’t crying or sooking all the time doesn’t mean something isn’t painful. I would get a second opinion, and I would strongly consider having any affected teeth out.

Anonymous said: I think this is kind of a weird question and feel free to ignore it if it isn't FAQ compliant. We took my dog into the vet today for a limp on a hind leg and the doc took one look at it and said "tweaked her ACL." He's got her on anti-inflammatories and a joint supplement (Movoflex, if that matters) with instructions to keep her leashed for 10 days to keep her from blowing out the other one. We've restricted her access to stairs. My mom is the sort that immediately goes and watches ...

Looks like you got my first but not my second? re: ACL. Basically, vet says she tweaked it, we're leash only and no stairs for 10 days + anti inflammatories and a joint supplement then go from there,main concern right now is to see if we can keep from messing up the other one. Mom is finding "cures" of questionable credibility on YouTube, any tips for finding "but can we be doing more?!?" info that isn't BS? Also, any tips for entertaining a super bored dog?            

If it is the cruciate ligament that’s tweaked/sprained/strained/stretched in some way, there’s no ‘miracle cure’ for you to find online. You just have to enforce rest so that she doesn’t bust her other one (as something like 10% of dogs will do).

Strict rest, limiting food intake (because they will gain weight when you force them to be less active) and passive range of motion exercises (lie dog on side, gently move leg through circle it would move if they were walking 5-10 times) is all I’d recommend at this stage.

I generally recommend chew toys or puzzle feeders, since they can amuse themselves with those whilst not moving about much. It’s hard to keep them entertained while confined, but it’s important for their healing.

Anonymous said: I adopted a dog in August.  He had a broken leg (and a recent surgery to put in a rod). I worked with my vet, did PT to strengthen the atrophied muscles, and a few months ago, he was finally cleared to run freely. This weekend, I took him to the park, where he jumped, and fell funny. He cried, and wouldn't put weight on his leg for a few minutes, but within a couple hours seemed totally fine. I'm scared to take him back to the park, but he has so much energy, and needs to run! Any advice?

I’d get his leg checked just to be safe, but jumping is generally a higher risk of injury than just walking or running. You may need to modify your games so that he isn’t encouraged to jump, eg rolling balls along the ground instead of throwing them.

It’s also possible that the implant is aggravating him in some way, although this is uncommon.

Anonymous: do some dogs lose fur on their tails? is that normal? my cousin has a large mutt and he is pretty old. his tail is practically bald. it gets worse when he gets flees so they keep daisy, who gets flees often, away from him. they really love him and take care of him pretty well. but even so i am wondering what's up with his tail

It’s common but it’s not normal. He could have a hormonal condition, or an allergy, or an anal gland problem depending on where the fur loss it. If you know he’s sensitive to fleas then both dogs should be on a consistent, quality flea control as ‘keeping them apart’ isn’t likely to do anything.

Anonymous asked: What would you suggest for chewing for dogs? Dachshund and mastiff-Labrador, the dachshund is more of an aggressive chewer

I’m not willing to give specific recommendations for animals not directly under my care. This is because most chews still have a risk of tooth fractures or choking, and I do not want to be ethically responsible.

Broadly speaking raw bones of an appropriate size can be good, as can any chew with VOHC certification. Things like antlers and rawhide tend to give no benefit, and may actually be detrimental.

Anonymous said: My dog is on Bravecto and Sentinel. (Has had Heartworm in the past/was treated.) We go hiking a lot/live in the woods. Knowing ticks are bad (live in USA), should I take any more precautions? Will those kill ticks before contracting any illness? Can I spray the dog with OFF? Also, having had Heartworm, are there any lasting effects once treated? Thanks!

I don’t know what’s in OFF but you could consider spraying permethrin on the legs and chest of the dog. (Do not ever use in cats). You should talk to your local vet about what tick borne illnesses they see, because we generally don’t see them here and they may vary by region.

It’s certainly possible to have residual scaring in the heart after a heartworm infection, but again you should be talking to your own vet about your dog’s particular case.

@kalessan said: Hi, my question is about goat genetics, I hope that might be interesting for you!  So lots of people believe that a homozygous polled goat has a higher chance of being intersex, but others say this only comes from one small study in the 1940s and might not be true?  Do you know if there is better science on this now?  It would be great to be able to breed for polled and no disbudding.  Thanks very much, I will buy you a coffee :)

So, it seems like homozygous polled goats do have a higher risk of being intersex overall. This is because there is another gene which is closely associated (on the same chromosome) as the polled gene and they are often inherited together. When the goat is homozygous for this gene the females may be all sorts of intersex and the males have reduced fertility.

It’s possible (and desirable) to have some lines where the polled gene is not associated with this intersex gene, but it may take genetic screening and simple luck for us to figure this out and isolate it.

@geneticallymodifiedmemes said: My favorite thing is when I paint my nails or use moisturizer or anything that causes my hands to smell strongly, and my cat seems so offended. I can't blame her, but her shocked face is so funny.

Their sense of smell, and what they find nice/offensive, is different to ours. Also consider the fact that your hands are now coated in this scent, and it’s your hands that pat her, so you will potentially coat her in the scent as well. No wonder she takes offense

Anonymous said: Hello, new follower here! I've seen some of your posts around tumblr (trash bag the cat, goth bunny owner, etc) and just now decided to check out your whole blog. Your information and stories are very interesting to read, even as someone who knows very little about veterinary medicine. I'm more into botany, which is why your url caught my eye - have you heard of the plant Aloe ferox? Anyways, hope this question finds you in good health, and that your week goes well.

Yes I’m aware of them, I have searched my name from time to time to see what Google picks up. It’s a Latin word so its used in a few things, but I actually chose my name from a fictional character.

@decaying-bambi asked: Hello! I saw your post about Rottweilers, I have a "Boxweiler" which is apparently the term for a Rottweiler and Boxer mix..? however I keep looking for tips on how to better care for her and what things I should know about her health (possible growth issues and etc) but I find it's difficult to really find much professional advice about "Boxweilers" she is very well behaved and absolutely sweet but can be a bit of a butt head at times because she's overly playful. Any advice, she's a 60lb pup.

The reason you wont find muck professional advice about ‘Boxweilers’ is because they are a mixed breed that has been given a cutesy name to make them easier to sell. They are not a breed, they are a cross. As such you can consider information about both parent breeds as potentially being relevnt to your pup.

Boxers

Rottweilers

Boxer crossbreds

Anonymous said: what do you think about breed specific legislation? does it help keep people safe or does it just leave a lot of dogs w/o homes?

It doesn’t result in dogs not having homes, it results in target breeds being euthanasied. I’ve talked briefly about Breed Specific Legislation before, and I think while there could potentially be some types of BSL that are useful, in their current form they are not useful for reducing dog bites or protecting the public.

Anonymous asked: Are there any vet shows that you would say have good practices? Because Dr Pol is definitely not one of them.

I really don’t watch vet shows any more. They’re not relaxing, they’re not entertaining and they don’t let me rest my brain. You can’t live and breathe veterinary medicine all the time and still stay sane.

They’re kind of ethically gray too, because producing these shows often require repeated filming which may not be in the best interest of the patient. I listened to some TV vets talk about the process, and how having the film crew interfered with their work and meant they had to take on less cases. Also how they had to do multiple takes of them driving through the farm gate and inane things like that. It’s really difficult to do best practice medicine because it’s often not ‘pretty enough’ for television.

I know that Village Vets Australia did at least try to do everything as well as they could do, but I’ve not personally watched it for the above reasons.

Another anonymous said: I saw what you had written about Dr pol (who's show I've never watched) and I was wondering what you thoughts were on Dr Michelle Oakley because I've been watching her show wilderness vet and I think she seems great but I wanted to get real vets opinion on her.

Again, I don’t watch these shows and I wont watch these shows anymore. I need some part of my life that is not vetting. Sorry I can’t help you.

@lornacus asked: Hows trash bag?

He’s a naughty and precocious kitten, as he should be. Here he is not being murdered by Wonka.