#she’s been venting to me about how she feels like my sis in law doesn’t like her

[sailermoon]

im allowed to be upset with my mom and find her kind of annoying sometimes but something about my sister in law saying mean stuff makes me 😐

[1zashreena1]

The Homicide is Hot -12

18+, m/f/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess struggles with her own morality. But all cats are gray in the dark, right? Oh, and Diego has an epiphany.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Literal murder guys, seriously*** Protective Diego, feels, a blow job, plus size woman+fit man, insightful and helpful Julio, f o r e s h a d o w i n g

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you would like to be tagged or removed.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​ @symbiont13​ @nicke0115​​ @bunnykjm​ @rosee-sensuelle​ @girlpornparadise​ @mandoplease​ @heresathreebee​ @xxsteph-enrixx​ @jetiikad​ @joalsglasses​ @mutantcookiesecrets​ @demoncatstone​ @squidlywiddly87​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​ @poeedamerons​

gif by @el-cheung​

"Its hot when he's homicidal." There. You said it.

Okay but remember that time when he stabbed two dudes and carved an ear off of a third? And you were gonna like, die if you didn't blow him IMMEDIATELY??? 

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME.

Wait, wait. Maybe this is … good? That is not the correct word but you know what I mean. If I'm going to be with someone in his position then I need to be able to handle everything that entails, right? 

You glance over at TMP, the small stuffed panther is facing you on the breakfast bar. You know its ridiculous, but you feel like he's watching you. It only takes half a second, but you flip the stuffie around so he can't be a voyeur just like his namesake.

The small dry erase board in your lap reflects sunlight back up into your face. Its covered in anxious scribbles regarding last weekend, you're desperately trying to sort them into some semblance of helpfulness. It isn't going well.

I already know he is in love with me, straight out of the horse's mouth. Lol 'horse'.

Seriously. You cannot go one day without a dick joke. 

I love him. I mean, how can I claim to love someone if I don't accept all of them? He doesn't maim indiscriminately, it has a point. Is it justified? I don't know. Do I trust his judgment on it being justified? I think I do. I guess the better question is: Do I care? 

I'm already in it. He's paying half my bills, he already paid off all my debt. I've accepted so many gifts with the knowledge that they were bought with laundered drug money. Hell, every article of clothing I'm wearing right fucking now was purchased by Diego. Also, he said that those guys lost a shipment to the tune of EIGHTY THOUSAND DOLLARS, so you know, that's an accessory charge. At this point, even if I decide I have some arbitrary moral high ground, I'm definitely rolling around in a ditch, legally speaking.

You've always known that your morality was a bit off center than most people's, but being with Diego has put it into sharp relief. There are so many things that are illegal that you just don't care about. And your very visceral reaction that night was irrefutable proof.

-----------------------------

Last weekend

Diego does not like the cold. The heat in the SUV is turned way up, you already closed the vents on your side of the backseat. You're on your phone, pretending to ignore the massive hand sneaking under the hem of your dress while your legs are flopped over his lap.

Diego rumbles at you, the phone comes down just enough for you to peek over the top at him.

"Yes? Is there something you would like, my Murder Panther?" Your smirk is damn near audible as you question him. 

His eyes trail down to your lap then back up before he answers in a growl, "There is something I would love." The rockiness of his voice never fails to make you quiver just a tiny bit.

Just as those long fingers brush your thong his phone chirps. Repeatedly. And then starts ringing.

Diego snatches the cell out of his jacket pocket and hisses at the screen. Not good, you think. He answers it with a tirade of Spanish, shoots you an incomprehensible look, then retreats from you. Nooooo.

Being the only one in the car who doesn't speak Spanish is its own variety of delightful hell. Bastian and Julio are exchanging meaningful looks in the front while you just have to wait. Diego has gone quiet, which is utterly terrifying.

He disconnects the call, then passes the phone to Julio, who shows it to Bastian, who then changes course.

Diego reluctantly pulls your dress back down as you drop your feet to the floor. He raises a thick arm and tucks you into his side underneath it before kissing the top of your head apologetically.

"We have to run an errand."

-----------------------

The warehouse looks like it came straight out of a Law and Order episode. Its abandoned yet eerily lit from the inside, there is a suspicious assortment of motley vehicles parked outside, and two tattoo covered dudes toting semiautomatics appear as you pull up. 

"Please tell me those belong to you." You mutter quietly. Your immediate concern is Diego's safety.

Diego gives you the shark smile. "The men or the guns, Princess?" 

In the dark, at this incredibly sketchy location, and with the threat of violence thick in the air, he is actually a little bit scary.

You swallow the apprehension and glare at him with a raised chin. "Yes." You snap, crossing your arms in a stubborn huff. Holding his gaze right now is kind of intimidating but you manage it.

"Si, everything here is mine." His voice is hard as steel but the hand that comes up to grip your chin is gentle. It takes a second for you to realize that he is including you in that group. And that you like it.

You take in his features, those eyes are black in the darkness, but the silver in his beard glints in the partial moonlight. The defined jawline, his long straight nose, those perfectly framed velvet lips, thick brows and even thicker hair. So fucking gorgeous. Cupping his bristly cheeks, you whisper one requirement, "Just make sure to come back to me, baby."

Diego leans his forehead down on yours briefly, then kisses your nose. "Wait here for Diego, my Princess." His voice is dark and dripping with emotion. Julio opens the car door from outside and Diego steps out, adjusting his jacket and tucking the abalone-inlaid gun into his pants. He doesn't look back as they walk away.

Bastian steps out and closes the driver's door to smoke. The only door left open is the rear passenger next to where you sit. You're too preoccupied to stay focused on your cell. You look up to see that Bastian is on his phone, Probably his boyfriend checking on him. You can certainly understand that.

Faint voices float out of the open warehouse garage door, but everything is in Spanish. You slide down to the pavement and pace slowly. Its been almost twenty minutes, should you try to check on him? Each lap of pacing takes you ever closer to the empty doorway, purely by happenstance of course, until finally, finally, you can see people inside. 

There are three men kneeling on the floor, surrounded by at least two dozen others armed to the teeth. There are more guns than you have ever seen in your life, all being handled casually. Diego paces slowly in front of them, rattling off some rambling array of options, judging from his tone. Whatever he just said must have been unfavorable because two of the kneeling men start crying and begging. I should not be here.

Diego digs both hands deep into his pants pockets, as though searching for a lost item, only to pull out the larger of the switchblades that you know he always carries. Ambling forward, he snatches the man furthest from you by the hair and yanks his head back. The angle looks excruciating, but what happens next is infinitely worse. The blade glints under the overhead lighting as Diego slides it smoothly across the man's throat, triggering a cascade of red.

Diego just slit his throat.

Diego just killed that man.

Diego just committed murder.

You're frozen. Think. Think. If you move now someone will hear your shoes, you stuff a hand into your mouth just in case you make any noise. Your plum dress and black booties should blend into the night, thank fuck the dress is longer so there's less gleaming pale leg to reflect the moonlight.

I should go I should go back to the car I should go home. Your thoughts are racing but you can't look away as Diego skirts the rapidly expanding pool of blood and approaches the next man. He leans down to listen to the doomed man's pleas, one huge hand on his shoulder in mock comfort. Almost faster than your eyes can follow, Diego stabs him three times in the chest. The man coughs, then chokes on blood. Diego nudges him backwards to the floor with an expression of mild disgust before he can cough blood onto those exceedingly expensive shoes. The noise of his death is a quiet gurgle.

You can't feel your legs. Your stomach plummets and your heart rate leaps. This is Diego. This is my man. This is who he is and what he does. And this is what happens if you wrong him.

Just like I'm doing right now?

Sudden understanding makes your palms sweat and your jaw shake. Breathe. I trust him. You know, all the way down to the bottom of your soul, that he would never do anything like this to you. 

I'm different.

I'm special. 

I'm important. 

I have power.

The thrill of getting away with something courses up your spine. 

All of these men are his to command, available at his beck and call, and his to dispatch as he sees fit.

And you? Diego belongs to you. This powerful man chooses to kneel at your feet and pleasure you with his mouth, he dotes on you with gifts and gourmet dining, he waits for your text responses with baited breath. You want nothing more than to belong to him.

Movement snaps you out of your own head; Diego is approaching the last man, all confident stalk and predatory grin. A different feeling settles low and deep in your abdomen. Murder Panther. MY Murder Panther. 

Diego strokes over the man, no, this one is younger, the young man's hair. He is definitely an adult, but hasn't been for very long. Diego is whispering in his ear, the guy nods frantically and tilts his head toward you. You watch in morbid fascination as Diego carves off his ear. 

Diego wipes the blade off on the man's shirt, then pats him on the head as he walks off casually. He gestures to the group as he puts the knife away and they close ranks to help the lone surviving man to his feet and carry him off. 

Before you can jolt your body into retreating Diego turns to head your way. He glances up… and sees you.

His face, Oh no. Shock, horror, dismay, annoyance, and finally, determined resolution all cross his features in under three seconds. He uses his broad body to block you from his men's view and marches you back to the SUV. "Get in." He snarls, but he doesn't push you.

You slide all the way across the backseat to crash against the opposite side and Diego follows, slamming the door behind him and locking it. He scrubs a hand down his face and turns to you, expression grim.

You can't imagine what you look like, Probably a scared little bunny. But what you feel like? Oh, that is a different story. Damn near everything about what you just witnessed was so fucking hot. The actual homicides were kind of 'meh' (What is wrong with me???), but his power and ability and danger? Those you are definitely into.

He looks simultaneously defeated and defiant. "Well?" He barks with an expectant gesture. "This is me. This is what I do. You call me Murder Panther, but its different to see, isn't it, Princess?" The way he spits out his pet name for you hurts. He's lashing out in fear. He thinks I'm gonna run.

You keep your eyes locked with his as you reach out to his leg. He flinches at the contact but stays stiff. Your voice is smoky and dark, "I need you. Right fucking now. Give me your dick."

For the first time since you've met, Diego is speechless. His jaw hangs open while he watches you sink to your knees in front of him. Seemingly paralyzed, he just blinks as you rip his pants open and yank the material down over his hips. The instant you achieve clearance for his cock your mouth is on him. Your moan must vibrate the entire vehicle its so loud.

"Princess!" He finally gasps. "You. What. Fuuuck, what is. Oh, hell yes." His hips jerk and you dig your nails into his lower abdomen. He is fully erect in seconds, a little confusion isn't enough to cockblock Diego. Big hands flit through your peripheral vision erratically before settling on your head. The angle is finally correct and you slide him all the way down your throat, he practically howls with it. "Ahh, h-haaa. Jesus fuck, that feels so good. Shit, shit. Princesss." 

The way he calls for you, writhing with it, is almost too much. You moan back but don't stop bobbing your head on his length. Firm suction intermixed with sporadic long licks of your broad tongue have him leaking steadily in no time. Your left hand cups his balls, squeezing gently just to feel him tense up. He's salty, but not bitter. You want it. You need him.

Your right hand snakes down to hike up the dress. Once it’s over your wide hips you spread your knees so you can sink down onto his shoe. He doesn't notice at first, not until your hips start rocking in time with your suction. 

He grabs a fistful of hair to get your attention. "Are. Fucking christ woman, are you riding my foot?!" His eyes are huge, mouth open to pant.

You nod tightly, "Mm hmm." The moan vibrates all along his cock, causing his hips to rise off the seat.

"Ohh, oh fuck. You're so wet. I can hear it." He groans as though in agony. The thrusts begin to pick up pace and you grind down onto him. Your mouth can open just wide enough to accommodate the majority of his girth, you already know your neck is going to kill you tomorrow. Worth it. The skin of his cock is silky slick with both of you, he glides across your tongue easily but it requires pressure to fit him down your throat. Its like consuming fire, you're burning up from the inside out and its painfully perfect. 

In the darkness of the unlit SUV you can't see anything, you can only hear Diego moan and pant while your nose is buried in the soft hair on his lower belly. The intensity of being engulfed in his scent drives you to distraction, you grind down hard on his foot and you're so, so close. His hips lift off the seat to push deeper and you ride his motions, swallowing around the head of his cock. One enormous hand sinks deep into your curls, he pulls gently just because he knows you like it. His purr is deep, "My perfect little Princess."

That's all it takes. You drop your entire weight onto his foot to shudder and whine as an orgasm rips through you. Hips jerking in time with each spasm deep inside, you ride out all the waves without ever breaking rhythm on his dick.

Diego is frozen in shock as he realizes what just happened. He pulls you off, much to your whining disappointment, to stare down at you in awe. He stutters a little, "Good. Girl."

The instant he releases ringlets you dive down onto him with renewed vigor. The emphatic praise only spurs you on even stronger. Everything is wet; his dick, your mouth, his pants, your chin, the seat, your dress, his shoe. Everything. The sounds, the way he tastes, you're desperate to have him. 

"You want this? You want Diego?" His voice is so rough, so harsh. You nod tightly and moan for him, high pitched and hoarse. "Princess, so damn good, take it. Take all of me. Fuck, you look goddamn amazing on my cock." His hands stroke endlessly over your hair, his hips are jerking harshly and you know he is close. "Shit. Shit shit shit. Come," he is gasping, panting, "Come again for Diego, mi amor." His body stiffens, his legs shake, the grip in your hair tightens, and his head drops backwards to the seat as he pours down your throat in scorching jets. 

Diego collapses, boneless and breathless, but you don't release him. Your right hand shoots down between your legs to work your clit furiously while you continue suckling softly. 

"Yesss," he sighs upon noticing your actions. His voice drops low, overflowing with sinful threat, "You come for Diego. Pretty little Princess, all mine. Follow orders, come on your Murder Panther."

It breaks you. Your whole body seizes up as you wail for him, clenching down on nothing in painful ecstasy. Finally relinquishing his cock, you flop face down into his lap with an exhausted groan. Diego melts back into the seat and you both just lay there, panting.

Diego raps on the door window but stays slumped down and loose-limbed. 

Bastian unlocks the SUV, then pops the driver's door to stick his head inside. "Yeah, boss?" The blonde studiously avoids looking lower than Diego's face. You can hear Julio chuckling behind Bastian.

"Fuck the club. Take us home." Diego decrees lazily. You sputter joyful laughter directly into his pants.

You ride home curled up in his lap, snuggled into that salt and pepper beard you love so much while Diego feathers kisses all over your face, the knife cradled in your hands.

------------------------

Diego stumbles down the stairs the next morning, yawning hugely, only to find Julio in the kitchen, unashamedly raiding the fridge. Bastard, Diego chuckles.

"Manito! We need to talk." Julio gets right to the matter. "Before Gordita gets up." He adds pointedly.

Uhh, what. "Fine. Talk. Also, are you eating carrots at 10:12am??" That is disgusting.

Diego plops down onto a barstool and stares dejectedly at the espresso machine until Julio rolls his eyes and turns it on for him.

"Look, you need a check, eh?" Julio sighs but stands firm while Diego side eyes him suspiciously. When no objection comes, Julio forges on, "She saw you murder two people and cut an ear off a third last night, right? And her response was to blow you in the car? Fucking ride your foot to come, what, twice?"

Diego smiles dreamily, "Yeah. It was a good night." So. Much. Licking.

Julio passes him the steaming mug, "If you don't put a ring on it, pendejo..." 

Diego nearly drops the mug as his closest confidante walks off into the living room.

Shit, Julio is right.

[blaperile]

Homestuck^2 - Reactions Chapter 3 “How Are Your Feelings” (Pages 96 - 118)

Chapter 3: "How Are Your Feelings"

Well, that's a title that reveals even less than Ghostflusters and Clown Logistics. :P

Considering the states everyone is in right now, I'm thinking the most likely option here is a feelings jam between members of the Meat chase crew AKA Dave, Roxy, Karkat, Kanaya (and possibly Jade, depending on if Alternate Calliope lets her go from time to time).

I can't really think of a different adequate party to have a feelings jam, unless Candy Jake's about to jam with Brain Ghost Dirk. :P

Also, "How Are Your Feelings" sounds like a sentence Kanaya might say.

Page 96:

Yes!!!! That definitely looks like it could be the chase ship of our Meat friends.

...Is it just me or does it like a pirate ship straight out of the Felt Mansion? xD

The question is, have Dave and Karkat grown further to each other? Or have they grown further apart like in the Candy timeline?

And how has Kanaya been coping, these 3 years without Rose. :(

And Roxy 3 years without Calliope...

At least everyone's got at least one person on this ship they're relatively close to. Dave with both Karkat and Roxy, Kanaya with Karkat.

And let's find out what Roxy looks like! Assuming they've still got their short haircut.

Page 97:

Ahahaha, it's a gigantic pipe. That's quite a silly ship design IMO.

It's like, the polar opposite of Dirk's ship, haha.

Page 98:

What the hell... that's preposterously dark.

OH BOY THAT TEXT AT THE BOTTOM. HERE COMES THE ALTERNATE CALLIOPE NARRATION.

Page 99:

HOLY MOTHER OF A JUMPSCARE

I think Karkat agrees, pfffahahaha

And hey, Dave's lying next to Karkat in bed! Implying Davekat's still a thing, hurray!

Also, apparently Karkat's now sleeping in a bed instead of in a Recuperacoon, hehe.

I wonder if Calliope has ever let go of Jade during this trip. Maybe not, if she believed it was the only way to shield them from Dirk's narrative control?

I'd find it hilarious if Dave just sleeps throughout this entire exchange.

Page 100:

Ahahaha, okay Dave is awake.

I like how he's not wearing his shades. I mean, he's probably gonna put them on in the next panel or so, but still. A sign that he's also letting Karkat see his regular eyes.

Page 101:

Oh man!!! We're seeing Dave IN SPRITE MODE without his shades on! Truly a day to savour for the rest of our lives. :O

Pfff, Karkat's wearing Dave's God Tier shirt.

And uh... looks like Calliope's alchemized herself a new outfit. Looks a bit like Jade's old Eclectica dress!

Welp, this indeed seems to impyl the normal Jade hasn't surfaced at all the past few years.

Page 102:

...Let's ignore the fact that "Jade" just creepily turned her head around in full 180 degrees, shall we?

Heh, the sentence "sleep is abandoned, coffee sought" reminds me of those sentence structures at the end of Act 4.

Page 103:

There's Roxy! :D

Looks like she let her hair grow again. And she alchemized a hoodie version of her God Tier outfit, hehe. Also, those heart glasses oh my god.

Pfff, just like Karkat's wearing Dave's shirt, Dave's wearing Karkat's shirt.

So, looks like Jade/Calliope has been getting stronger through the years and that her saying stuff and moving around is a relatively new phenomenon.

I guess her power level is slowly getting closer to that of her body from the Candy path?

Oh man, let's hope this coffee is better than that junk on the meteor. :P

Page 105:

Oh okay, Roxy's hair IS a bit different after all. A bit smoother like Dave's!

Heh, okay, so the ship's a bit bigger at least than I would have thought at first. It's good that they've still got multiple places they can hang out separately.

Amazing, Dave's "mom" has become "dad". I love this.

I wonder what's going to happen now that Dave is leaving to go to Kanaya. Are we going to follow him, or will the perspective remain with Calliope at all times?

Page 106:

...Nope! Looks like we're following Dave after all. :P

I like how these look like the cabins from a real boat that you'd expect to sail on water instead of... well, space.

I wonder how the Mother Grub is doing on Meat Earth. Jane's presumably got total control there now, so how is the Troll reproduction thing going? :/

I wonder if there's a Meat Vrissy out there or not.

Page 107:

Eeesh, Kanaya's sitting there alone... in the darkness. That's definitely not like her to be in darkness.

I'm a bit afraid of what her mental health is going to be like... she's been so long without Rose, I hope she hasn't totally isolated herself from her friends.

Is she just staring off into space, wondering where Rose is and how she's doing?

Page 108:

Okay, so she is lighting up, that's good. I'd have been more worried if she really was in complete darkness here.

And in her hair... she's got a rose. Oh man. :(

Yeah, Dave's right. Why does it keep coming back to this, insanely long trips with limited crews.

At least on the meteor they had more distractions. A much bigger facility for one, and all those Dreambubbles they passed through. Now they've got none of that, and an even smaller crew.

No Mayor, no Rose, no Terezi. Only Roxy and a creepy alien possessing the body of one of their best friends.

Page 109:

Huh... I wonder what this story is going to be about. Will it turn out to be something prophetic about something that will happen in the future? Something from an alternate timeline? A real Earth story?

Page 110:

N'aww... poor Kanaya.

The story of a Prince and a Rose... goddammit, that's really not helping right now.

Dave liked calling Kanaya "sis" because of her being his sister-in-law, but if anything maybe in this trip they could actually support each other a bit as if they're really brother and sister. That would be nice.

Page 111:

...There we go! I didn't expect them to actually bring it up.

Honestly, I'm really enjoying this. We never got a lot of interactions between Dave and Kanaya, so it's sweet to see them bond like this.

And don't worry Dave, you won't find Terezi lurking in the vents. That was only in the pre-retcon timeline on the meteor, with Gamzee. :P

Page 112:

D'awww. It's sweet to see that Dave can still make Kanaya laugh despite all that has happened.

Page 113:

Oh, so looks like Roxy's settled on "he" now instead of "they"!

Aha, "title drop"! I knew it, that is just a perfect Kanaya thing to say. xD

Page 114:

Poor Dave. Yeah, it's so strange. He's basically lost all his childhood friends. John's disappeared (and dead but he doesn't know that), Jade's in a coma, and Rose is... well, yeah.

This is so different from the meteor trip, when he at least received a message that John and Jade were doing fine on their Prospitian Battleship. And they had perspective of how long the trip was going to take and a vague idea what they were going to find.

He's really had a rough life when you think about it.

Also, yeah, I'm afraid Meat Earth's not doing well. Knowing what it was like on Candy Earth for Jake, I can't imagine him being any degree of fine right now. :/

Page 116:

HOLY SHIT, so Calliope's also on the ship!!!

I'm relieved to hear that they weren't left all alone on Earth, with just Jane and Jake for company.

Though I definitely didn't expect them to join on this trip, considering how scared they were of their other self. But maybe that's why they don't leave their cabin. :(

I hope Roxy at least visits them enough... The question is, are they still a thing together or not?

And yeah, I hadn't actually thought about it yet how Karkat seems to be the least impacted by all this. He wasn't very close to Rose and hardly knew Dirk, and has no idea Terezi's on the other ship.

Oh, if he only knew what his Candy version got up to.

Pages 117 - 118:

Hehe, Karkat's feeling better on this ship than on Earth, just like Dave.

Oh wow, that was the end of this chapter already.

Good thing Alternate Calliope didn't start monologuing here like Dirk did.

It is noticeable how Dirk reintroduced the narration, while Calliope's leaving it more to the dialogue for now.

Also, I just realized how while Karkat, Dave and Kanaya all opened up a bit about their feelings, Roxy’s keeping mostly quiet for now. He continues being a bit inscrutable.

But I can’t imagine this being very easy for him either. After all, he’s lost his daughter/mom, and he’s without his three childhood friends as well.