#she'd be a lethal weapon on wheels

[ft-nostalgia]

So I started rewatching The Van Gogh Job and was saying (to myself) how I was so excited for a roller derby episode, but it isn't really. Which means we can still steal a roller derby! Put it on the list, someone!

[aklaustaleteller]

On One Condition

Klaus feels bad for messing up Y/n's exam preparation schedule, so he asks her what it is that he can do to 'earn her forgiveness'. Yet somehow, he manages to put up a condition when she asks him to help her with an art project...

Warnings - none, really. Word Count - 1.4k

So, I was rewriting an old fic when I decided to write a little backstory, i.e. this fic, and I hope you guys like it! I'll be posting part two within the next two days so yay!

Update: You can now read part two here!

She was something else, a feisty one who liked a good chase. And Klaus should've noted that from miles away. But he was too deep in now, and he wasn't going to back down until he had her.

He was waiting outside the school to catch Stefan, have a chat with him and warn him against trying to harm him because telling him off meant telling off the entire group, and Klaus found that lovely.

And he had just caught sight of Stefan when he saw her behind him, her hair bun not so tight as hair stands fell out and framed her face. She was walking with another girl who seemed to be trying profusely to convince Y/n of something -- probably a party if Klaus were to guess but he felt himself tuning in when she walked in a closer range to him.

"I really cannot do it, Vicki. Please try to understand that I'm myself giving exams right now," he heard her say, and then saw as she put her hand on her shoulders. There was softness in her voice that he'd never wished previously to be directed at him.

Bringing her in for a hug, Y/n explained herself again, as if she felt bad for denying whatever it was that Vicky wanted. "I would've helped you out had I not missed out on my preparation earlier. I’ve quite literally been studying the night before for each exam." She smiled, with what emotion Klaus couldn't quite see, but he found it beautiful, nonetheless.

"Why don't you ask Elena? I'm sure that way you'll bump into Jeremy a couple times as well," Y/n grinned, passing the squinting brunette a quick wink before turning back towards the exit with a sigh of relief.

Though it only took a couple steps for her to bump into Klaus, not so accidently. She'd seen him the moment she'd gotten out of the gates, and the fact that she had to pass him in order to reach her car only made her feel... more positive, let’s say.

She hadn't gone out of her way to slam into him, but he had. And the only other thing she has to blame is her spiteful walk that led the one library book she'd borrowed to topple out of her grip.

"Klaus, back off," she gritted, quickly picking up her book and moving once he did.

"It's not my fault, you know, that you bumped into me," Klaus said with a lure in his voice that suggested he just wanted to rile her up. "I'd apologize to me," he shrugged, a lopsided grin pulling up on his face when he noticed her turning.

"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself but that'd be a cruel and unusual punishment," she bit back, pressing her key to unlock the car.

"Please, save your breath. You'd probably need it to blow up your next date," Klaus teased, remembering the night Klaus had crashed her date and scared off the guy by doing nothing, really.

Sighing, Y/n gripped the steering wheel of her car and closed her eyes for a second. "Say something else and this book will become a lethal weapon," her voice was agitated as she warned him, and when he truly backed away with a proud grin on his face, she finally pulled back and drove home, daring to spare him a glance in her rear-view mirrors, an angry blush creeping up her neck when she caught his eyes.

Once she reached home, she didn't bother to lay out her clothes before jumping into her shower. Still, she buttoned up a loose striped cotton shirt and pulled her underwear up her legs. It didn't take her long to just decide on a pair of pyjama shorts.

After a good bowl of salad for lunch, she brought out her schoolwork to just do it on the porch considering the nice weather. But of course, that was a mistake because soon into her immersive study session, she was disturbed by loud clashing noises coming from the house across hers, Elena's house.

Taking a deep breath, she was just getting up when she caught sight of Damon and Stefan inside the house, speeding towards each other. It was purely for the dramatics, she was sure, considering the fact they wouldn't kill each other, they simply didn't have it in them.

She just felt sorry for Elena's dishes, maybe some of her furniture as well.

Twisting the knob she had just pushed the door in to go back inside the house when she heard a voice behind her. "Too noisy, aren't they?"

Klaus.

"You already messed up my preparation schedule once, Klaus. Do not dare to do it again," she said calmly, though her grip on the knob was probably tighter than normal.

With that, she decided to cross the line and enter her home. Then she turned around to face him, but he didn't seem to be in the mood to mess with her either.

"I came here to apologise, and perhaps, make up for the troubles I've caused you," he admitted, looking at her with such sincere eyes that she could've given in right then.

"And how do you plan on doing that? Plus, if this is a joke, I still have that book with me."

"You tell me what it is that will earn me your forgiveness," he said dramatically, making her look down to hide something from him, maybe a smile.

Opening the door wider, she looked at him and then hesitated a little. "Don't make me regret this," she said. "Come in, please."

Klaus was caught a bit off guard but managed to get inside, his eyes wandering right away to take in her house.

"I'm not sure how to word this really, so I'm just going to say it." Taking a breath, she sat on one of the dining table chairs and urged for him to do so too, getting a little flustered when he took the one right by her side and shifted so that he was turned towards her.

"What is it, love?"

"This might be a little ridiculous for you but it's very serious for me," she told him while maintaining eye contact to make sure he understood the situation.

Klaus simply nodded for her to go on, now leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands.

"I know you paint, quite impressively, might I add but that's not the point here," she quickly shut the topic before Klaus could tease her.

"The point is, I have this art project that I said yes to under pressure because my favourite teacher asked me to. But were you to see even my handwriting, you'd know I'm no good at it. The most I can draw is a stick figure and even that's wonky sometimes," she admitted bashfully.

"I used to have a friend who'd do it for me, but she left town last year and now... I don't really have anyone who would," she let out a breath at that, her eyes closed in anticipation of his answer.

"So, you wish for me to help you out with this said art project?"

Sitting stiffly, she nodded.

"Okay then. I'll do it... but what is it?"

"Oh great!" She cheered; happiness evident on her face. "It's supposed to be this super zoomed in image of either a grapefruit, or a pomegranate."

Klaus leaned back in his chair then, sighing as he considered it. "I will do it on one condition," he proposed.

"And that is?"

"You will stay with me in my studio when I'm painting it," he shrugged, as if it wasn't so much a big deal.

"But were you not doing this for my forgiveness?" She narrowed her eyes, but when he began to get off the chair, she struggled for some answer to come out of her mouth before he could leave.

"Okay, okay! I will!" She agreed immediately, sitting back down in defeat when he remained standing, a smile on his face.

"I'll go now." He said, walking backwards towards the door and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes. He could've teased her about it but decided against it.

"Come by my house tomorrow, around three or four… your wish," he said before turning to open the door.

He turned back to see her reaction and a smile crept up on his mouth when he saw her smiling back at him.

"I will," she told him while waving him goodbye, stopping just before he sped off with his dead heart beating a mile an hour. 

[simplych4i]

Spins my wheel of mercs to headcanon

It falls off and theres a secret wheel beneath it, reading only Ms Pauling

Let's get going!

-

Ms Pauling, as the entire damn fandom has agreed, has extreme Lesbian energy. Yes we see her planning outings in Expiration Date but I honestly think she was thinking it more friend like, while Scout was being a little idiot with a crush. Plus it's probably not nice being alone for all her missions, so having a dork friend to make you laugh on them is great.

Yknow how they'd probably need a cleanup crew for all their damn missions and shit? Yeah, she's the cleanup crew. The one woman cleanup crew. It's why she has one day off a year, there needs to be ample time to tidy up the mess those idiots leave behind.

Will cringe at the Medic's little creations, but actively compliment the skills she notes in them. Whether it crosses a moral boundary or not doesn't matter, it always does down in Teufort. So instead she'll just compliment it, point out things she noticed, and, if the doctor is looking for insight, will point out things that worry her. Yes, this surgery is wonderful, but don't you think you put it too close to these organs? Or smth like that. Obviously doesn't have a medical degree like he does, but hey, he asked for her opinion.

She tends to personally arrive to deliver their supply shipments, aka the stuff they can't get from any nearby towns. She'll make sure everything is there, have very sparse conversation, before being off as soon as the transport is ready to leave.

This woman is. So tired. She likely stays up at night finishing things and ensuring nothing is missed, having to be the perfect employee that picks up all the slack. She needs more than one day off man. She needs a full 24 hours purely to sleep.

Might I point out she's probably fairly skilled, just like the mercs are? Of course, she's not one herself, but I'm saying she could be. She goes to the places the mercs had to tend to, and finishes off anyone missed. Those people likely are dangerous, considering that mercenaries are being sent to deal with them. Then you think they'd send someone with a desk job to clean up the mess? No, lady clearly knows what she's doing. Honorary Merc.

She has assassin skills, I think. Knowledge of lethal areas, does good with most weapons, had the capacity to pick locks, and such. (She never picks locks, she's very fumbly and forgets this skill most of the time.)

Spends her one day off with the other mercs. This tends to result in a day of her falling asleep on the lounge couch and everyone tucking her in and leaving little snacks and drinks and stuff nearby bc they know she needs rest. If she doesn't pass out she's talking with someone.

Feels grateful to be working with an all male team, doesn't wanna be unprofessional. Spy made her panic a little when she first presented fem, but it was communicated well that Spy was Androsexual and in fact not interested in anyone feminine presenting. They're besties who hype each other up and call each other 'girlfriend.' Pauling had to explain this was a friend thing and not, in fact, a relationship.

I feel like if the mercs were going down she'd go with em. Oh you're abandoning them out there in the middle of nowhere? Cool lemme deliver this last shipment and not come back on the transports

This is her found family and she wants to stay.

Hnnn

Just thinking of her <3