#shoutout to all the muses who tolerate the nonsense

[ikemenfics]

Birthday Games

Word Count: 1641

Dedicated to: Any fans of the foxiest warlord ever.  Special shoutout to my fox waifu sisters @tsundere-mitsuhide and @melissenpai.  Happy Birthday, Mitsuhide.

Celebrations were going, beautifully.  Everyone had gathered to celebrate the birthday of Akechi Mitsuhide and so far, even Kenshin was able to keep the peace for event.  You, Masamune, and Hideyoshi had presented Mitsuhide with a large cake, fitting as many candles as possible on the monstrosity.  After all, Mitsuhide was 500 years away from his day of birth.  It took Mitsuhide, Mitsunari, Hideyoshi, and Masamune to blow out all the candles.

“What did you wish for?”  You asked, only to be met with a secret smile.

“According to your tradition, I cannot say,” Mitsuhide’s words were smooth as his lids lowered over those golden eyes, giving him a look that promised a world of pleasurable trouble later.   You flushed, choosing not to answer the call his look was so obviously giving.  You cut up the cake into pieces, passing them out to varying members of the house.  Nobunaga and Shingen’s hands both reached out to take the corner piece and it took everything you had not to smack the hands of Japan’s powerful warlords.

“The frosted piece goes to Mitsuhide,” you chided.  Shingen leaned back, eyeing the other corners yet to be served.  You shook your head at him.  No way were you going to cut around the cake just to give him a corner.  Nobunaga also backed away, but his expression was considerably more smug.  You held out the piece towards Mitsuhide who held up his hand in a gesture of polite rejection. “Please, I couldn’t.  Such a sweet treat would be wasted on my lack of taste buds.”  You blinked in confusion as he continued, “Please, allow my lord to give it the appreciation it so deserves.”  You looked towards the smug unifier, handing him the cake.  He praised Mitsuhide’s gift and proceeded to eat, earning him a dark look from Shingen off to the side.  Sighing, you lopped off another corner piece, forking it over to the Tiger of Kai.  You didn’t really need a war over cake happening in the kitchen.

You caught the eye of Sasuke and he nodded at you, catching what you had just done.  Over the course of this adventure, you and Sasuke developed quite the repertoire with one another and became quite the team in keeping the sengoku men from losing their way in their newfound world.  Yukimura and Ieyasu put down their plates, each having only taken a singular bite of their pieces.  [Oh well, at least they tried it] Your thoughts were interrupted as Yukimura protested Shingen laying claim to Yukimura’s discarded slice.  You found Masamune hovering near Ieyasu, looking to his.  With an audible sigh, Ieyasu handed over the piece, Masamune’s eye gleaming as he accepted, complimenting how well the cake had come out.

With bellies full and the rest of the large cake put into a safe place, you set out to clean up.  You could hear conversation floating into the kitchen from the living room as the guys all set out to decide what games to play.  Options like Chess, another round of Clue, and Go were bandied about and most were voted over.  Sasuke’s idea, you were sure, introducing the idea of a democratic vote to the feudalistic warlords of Japan.  

Eventually, a distinct *thunk* silenced conversation.  You peeked in, finding Kenshin had placed a large bottle of Sake on the table, looking pleased as punch with himself.  Various expressions met the heterochromial warlord ranging from mild interest to confusion as Kenshin commanded the room to silence with a grin that you and Sasuke knew well.  Either Kenshin was planning battle or getting everyone hammered and the bottle definitely indicated the latter.

“I hear,” Kenshin started, his voice quiet but just as present as any battlefield speech, “Mitsuhide is Azuchi’s most famous drinker.”  Kenshin’s face look confident as he challenged, “I challenge a game of tolerance.  Whoever remains to drink to the end gets her.”  His finger found you and your face reddened even as offense arose.

“H-hey!  I’m not a prize!”  [Stop it, stupid heart] You felt all fluttery and had to talk yourself down to remind these men that this wasn’t the Sengoku era and they didn’t have any claim over  you or anyone else.

“I will accept this challenge,” Nobunaga approached, looking at you, “After all, I can’t hand my lucky charm over to just anyone.”

“Count me out,” Masamune responded, “Shame, since any other challenge, I would have the lass in a heartbeat.”  

“A challenge for the hand of the goddess…” Shingen all but purred, approaching like a cat ready to catch a mouse, “I could not bear such a beauty to fall to such ruffians.”

“Drinking?  Please…” Motonari even joined, shocking you to the core.  He usually sat to the side and just watched, pulling the occasional prank, but otherwise keeping to himself, “I could drink the lot of you under the table.  Count me in.”

“This is absurd.  When all of you are sick from drink, no crying to me for remedies,” Ieyasu crossed his arms, turning away from the rest.  You were willing to bet that he’d be making those remedies quietly later in the kitchen.

“Shingen-sama, I can’t let you do this,” Yukimura cried, “You have to take better care of your health!”

“Nonsense, what good is health if I can’t woo the heart of the fair lady,” Shingen answered, Yukimura groaning in response.

“Then I guess I will stay sober so someone takes care of you when you take too much.”  [Poor Yukimura…]

“I will keep vigil so that no one attacks Nobunaga in this lunacy,” Hideyoshi contributed.

“I will pray for all of you,” was Kennyo’s take on the matter.

All eyes rested on the man of the hour.  Mitsuhide smiled like the Cheshire Cat as he reached for the sakazuki.  Thus, the contest of strongest liver commenced.

“Don’t worry,” a soft voice whispered, making you jump.  The glasses of Sasuke framed the protective brown eyes as he continued, “I’ll make sure they won’t claim you.  I’ll keep you safe.”  You were touched that, even now, in your own world, Sasuke was still thinking of your care and well being.  

The first bottle emptied, the participants looking strong in the face of competition.  There were even toasts being made to the man of honor as they popped open a fresh jug of sake.  [So far so good].  You were amazed that it appeared there was no meddling with the drink, no side drama, just the guys sitting and having a good drink...ing contest, anyway.

“I will be stopping here,” Nobunaga announced halfway through the third bottle.  You examined him closely, but he gave nothing away to his level of drunkeness.  You realized, you’d never seen him drunk.  A vague sense of disappointed zinged through you but you shook it off.  Hideyoshi was quick to the side of Nobunaga as the two made to leave the room, “I leave our chatelaine’s future to you, Mitsuhide.  Do not disappoint me.”

“Of course,” came the smoothest answer you ever heard.  Your jaw nearly hit the floor, Mitsuhide didn’t look even a little taken by the alcohol and you began to wonder if Sasuke had secretly replaced the sake with bottles of water.  One look at Sasuke told you that that wasn’t the case.  

Soon bottles of rice wine littered the floor.  Shingen moved to stand, wavering slightly, Yukimura rushing to him.  Kennyo also moved, grunting in dismay as he helped Yukimura remove Shingen from the room.  Shingen turning to give you one last look, his eyes swimming in intoxication, “My goddess, I may have lost my chance this night, but I will bask in your glory anyway,” he winked, “Until tomorrow, my gorgeous angel.”

Motonari’s eyes gleamed as he leaned forward, “Now, it gets real.”  Another round of drinks and yet it seemed the final three were going strong.  You checked the clock, seeing that it had gotten late.  You glanced worriedly at Mitsuhide before bowing and excusing yourself.  You mentioned they should probably sleep as well, but were met with small waves of dismissal as the trio took in more sake.

You woke with a start.  You’d set an alarm to check on Mitsuhide later and you stared at your phone in betrayal as sleep called you.  You realized Mitsuhide hadn’t turned in and you knew you couldn’t possibly snuggle back into slumberland with that knowledge.  You stood, moving towards the living room.

You found him alone, Motonari and Kenshin apparently having retired.  He leaned onto your couch, apparently having had fallen asleep from his position on the floor.  Bottles clinked as they rolled into each other as you crossed the room to take your lover in your arms.  

As you braced to try and shift him, an arm snaked out and around your back, and with a startled cry you were suddenly in the lap of Azuchi’s famous Silver Fox, golden eyes giving you a far too amused (and surprisingly sober) look.  

“Missed me?  I’m touched,” he mumbled, his deep voice dancing over your skin.  You flushed and your mind went blank, making you wonder why you were the one apparently sloshed when he was the one drinking.

Laughter brought your attention back from your musings, Mitsuhide planting a kiss on your forehead.  “It seems we’re all alone and I’ve been imbibing.  Whatever will become of me in such a vulnerable state?”  The way he emphasized “vulnerable” had you trembling in a sudden spark of desire.  

“I don’t know…” you answered, your words coming out breathy as suddenly even taking in air had become difficult.  You shifted, meeting his lips in a heated kiss.  He gave an amused grunt, returning your kiss, leaning you over until you were on your back, him hovering over you.

“I trust you will take very good care of me…”  

Who won the drinking contest?  The world may never know.