#showvy rambles

[deepdowninshipperhell]

So, I had an absolutely horrible birthday dinner with my family today. I’m not surprised, because dinner with my mother is never nice, but I thought that maybe on my bday… stupid of me honestly.

She spent the entire dinner making comments about my body and weight, trying to touch me to feel my belly and ribs, trying to accurately guess how much I weigh (I wouldn’t fucking know, I don’t own a scale and in fact haven’t since I moved out seven fucking years ago, because I’ve been in ed recovery for a fucking decade and if there’s one thing I don’t need it’s knowing what I weigh), and making comments about how I look “pale and sickly”. It was deeply deeply uncomfortable and I honestly went home and just cried for half an hour. It sucks because my day started out really nice and now I’m just tired.

[deepdowninshipperhell]

Genuinely forgot what date it is today for a minute there when I wanted it down on my class notes, before remembering it’s my fucking. Birthday. Truly skilled behaviour

[deepdowninshipperhell]

It’s my birthday today! I’m a little bit ridiculously excited by that. I know I’m an adult and it’s probably stupid to get this excited, but I do always get excited on my bday, even if I have nothing special planned <3

[deepdowninshipperhell]

I had THE best night tonight!!!! I went to a really great concert with my friend (Reach, if you know them!) and we got to chat to the band after, and they were so nice!!!

The lead singer complimented me on my cane three (3) separate times, the first time just passing by me as I was waiting in the queue, and then a couple of times when we were chatting to the band, and he also complimented me on my necklace, and in general the whole band was super nice and it was just very very lovely.

And genuinely, they were all so so nice but the lead singer actively stopping to compliment me on my cane looking cool and then repeating that compliment several times when we were actually chatting really made my heart swell. I often feel insecure about using a mobility aid, especially at concerts where I feel like it makes me stick out even more, so it meant a LOT.

[deepdowninshipperhell]

Me telling my friend, “[crush] wants to go to an escape room with me, I’m excited but I’ve also never been to one” and her immediately replying with, “let me know when you guys start actively planning, I know you well enough to have a few thoughts on what you probably would/wouldn’t like in escape rooms, if you’d like to hear them.” Maybe I do love being perceived, actually

[deepdowninshipperhell]

Really appreciate my dear friend L so much for always letting me infodump, even when it’s a fandom she is not in. I’m over to co-work at least once a week and we always take time at some point to nerd out together and she’ll listen to All of my Insanity. Y, another dear friend and her boyfriend, who mostly works in home-office so is usually involved in the co-working, doesn’t participate in these conversations but he DOES use his lunch break or time after work to bring us snacks and iced coffee while we nerd out, and it’s just. I appreciate these people so much

[deepdowninshipperhell]

yes I am once again rewatching acofaf and being unhinged about it, ignore me

[deepdowninshipperhell]

When you have blorbos on the brain but having blorbos on the brain has become irrevocably mixed with thinking of beloved fandom friends you associate with the blorbos

[deepdowninshipperhell]

I already miss the boop button, beloved :(

[deepdowninshipperhell]

I am off to sleep now, it was a true honour booping with you

[deepdowninshipperhell]

Obligatory OMG Max!

I feel like now I need to keep going because WHY MAX would be REALLY funny (to me)

[deepdowninshipperhell]

I’m so delighted about the fact I can now finally boop Ducky AND Kuni, my beloveds (I am about to be So annoying)

[deepdowninshipperhell]

I think this is the best it’s gonna get today, as far as a Fun Boop-O-Meter goes. Very delighted by this screenshot honestly

[deepdowninshipperhell]

Desperately trying to get to *-* or mayhaps even Plz, but I'll be honest, guys, I don't think it's in the cards for me -- I just reached Max, and my received is still in the 300s lol

[deepdowninshipperhell]

My blog is multi-fandom not in the sense that I fixate on specific but different fandoms, but rather in the sense that following me means you occasionally get scraps of the thing you followed me for but mostly you get an amalgamation of whatever is itching my brain on any given day lacking any sort of coherency whatsoever

[deepdowninshipperhell]

Also, re: comments on fics, very genuinely, I do not care about kudos and hits and how many people consume my fics or whatever, all I really want is Human Interaction. Five-hundred hits mean Nothing to me if only two of them are interested in sharing a morsel of their thoughts and opinions through a comment. Please just talk to me, guys. I don’t bite and I do care deeply about your thoughts about even the most mundane parts of my fics! This isn’t ‘content’, this is my participation in our community!