#siensapsap

[sunset-smp]

❀✿ Siensapsap's base on Season 4 ❀✿

[wedontdeservethestars]

Hey! Saw you ask for drabble requests! How about Garcia and Reid comforting Morgan after a difficult case, because he deserves hugs too! (Or them all comforting each other, I just really wish this fandom would let Morgan be comforted more)

Dude you have no idea how happy I am to write Derek being vulnerable, let this guy have a healing crying session sometime for the love of God. Dude goes through so much and he's never allowed to be sad :,( so....I'm here to fix that! Also, this is posted on AO3 as well!

Penelope knew something was wrong the second she heard Derek’s voice over the phone. She greeted him as she normally would–with a sensual-sounding “Hello, loverboy,” and a twirl of a golden lock of hair, even though he couldn’t see it. But Derek didn’t call her ‘hot stuff’ or ‘mama’ or even ‘baby girl.’ 

“Garcia,” was all he said (and not even in a fun way!) before continuing onto his question for the current case at hand. “What can you tell me about a Paul Norwell who lives in the area?”

“Oh,” she replied, a little perturbed by his distant nature. Nonetheless, her fingers started to fly over her keyboard. “Well, he currently works as a mover for GreenTech appliances. Basically, it looks like he does house-calls for appliance installments and issues that come up. He started work there about fifteen years ago. And…oh my. He lives only three blocks away from Jason’s family.”

“Did they have appliance troubles recently?” he guessed. 

Garcia checked the bank account records of the parents of Jason, a kidnapped boy the team was trying to find. “Nope. But they did just get a new dishwasher installed a couple of weeks ago.”

Derek’s voice sounded stiff. “Give me his address.”

Penelope did, and he thanked her and hung up, just like that. Not an ounce of playfulness or even communion with her. If she didn’t know any better, she would feel a little mad that Morgan was treating her like a normal coworker. But she had known Derek for several years, and if he was acting like this, something was definitely wrong.

When he returned from the case, he didn’t seem to be feeling any better. Jason was safe, and they had Norwell locked up and on trial. The case was out of their hands, and a family was reunited. But something was still very obviously bothering Derek. He was quiet, aloof. He declined to go out for drinks with Penelope and Emily. Whenever Garcia looked into his umber eyes, she could see the storm he was hiding behind a dismissive, “I’m fine.”

Spencer had noticed it, too. He and Penelope sat at his desk, watching Derek from across the bullpen as he worked tirelessly to complete stacks and stacks of paperwork that he’d no doubt insisted on taking from Hotch. Penelope swung her legs as she sat on Spencer’s desk, and he anxiously swiveled in his chair. 

“Why won’t he just talk to us?” she asked, her gaze furrowing beneath her cotton candy-colored frames. 

“He’s emotionally closing himself off. He probably doesn’t want us worrying about whatever’s going on in his mind,” Spencer mumbled. “But it’s kind of having the opposite effect, isn’t it?”

“Tell me about it. I wish I could just…open his head up and look at his brain and pick out all the bad stuff,” she frowned. “And no one’s called me baby girl in, like, a week. I’m gonna die of starvation soon.”

“Does ‘pretty boy’-starvation fall under the same umbrella? Because I’m feeling it, too,” he sighed. “Getting coffee on my own isn’t the same. I got too used to Derek being with me and now it’s just lonely.”

“Aw, Reid,” Penelope pouted. “I’d go with you. Except you know what caffeine does to me…”

“I have first-hand experience, unfortunately,” he smiled faintly, then looked back at Morgan’s office. He wasn’t even working anymore, now, just staring ahead at the wall, propping his head up with a curled fist. Penelope squirmed.

“Okay. That’s it. I gotta go in there.”

“I’m coming, too,” Spencer said quickly, standing and tailing behind Garcia as she made a beeline for the office. She hesitated only for a moment before knocking on the closed door and propping it open, peeking in through the crack to alert him of her presence. Derek broke his staring match with the wall opposite to him and nodded, as if to say “come in.”

“Hi,” Penelope say sweetly, her voice small and soft. Spencer waved a little when he came in behind her. Morgan shifted in his seat. 

“What, am I in trouble or somethin’?” he asked, clearly meaning it as a joke. His delivery was tired, though.

“Only because you’ve been ignoring us,” she smiled sadly, knowing that his distant nature wasn’t born of malice.

“By ignoring, do you mean doing my job?” He cocked an eyebrow as he gestured to the mess of files and paperwork on his desk.

“Not just today,” Spencer shrugged, glancing down at the papers. “Four days in a row. Ever since we got back from the case, actually. And most of these documents don’t need to be turned in for another two weeks.”

Derek sighed and leaned back in his chair. “So I like to get things done early. So what?”

“Not this early.”

“Look, what do you two want?”

“We’re worried, Der,” Penelope murmured, taking a step closer to him. “You’ve been acting weird.”

“We miss you out there,” Spencer added. “Are you okay?”

Derek shook his head. “I’m–”

“Fine,” she cut him off, fingers fidgeting with a gaudy jeweled ring she wore. “Please, don’t say you’re fine. You obviously aren’t. And that’s okay.”

For a moment, he was quiet, looking between the two. Reasoning something in his head. 

“Please talk to us?” Spencer muttered. 

Morgan rubbed his face. “You got me with those doe eyes, pretty boy. Close the door.”

He smiled shyly and did so, making sure that it shut all the way. When he turned back, Derek was pushing away from his desk. He came around the front and leaned back against it, folding his arms. Where to even start?

“I can’t stop thinking about that case,” he finally said, eerily still. “That kid. Jason.”

“He made it back home safe, didn’t he?” Penelope asked.

“He still got taken,” he shook his head. “And who knows what exactly Norwell did to him? Or the kids before. We don’t even know how many there were. How many lives were ruined by this bastard? How many children died after being put through what Norwell did to them?”

The other two were a little taken aback by Derek’s sudden frankness. Neither said a word, but Penelope slipped her hand over his. He swallowed thickly and folded his arms, trying to guard himself. 

“That kid on the morgue table. I know we’ve seen kids before, but…he reminded me of myself. That could’ve been me. That is so many kids that we were too late to save. That we don’t even know about.” A shaky breath, like his lungs were about to give. “I joined this team because I never wanted any child to feel so powerless again. To stop this from happening. But we can’t.”

“That’s not true,” Spencer said softly. “We do all we can. And think about how many kids in the future we saved from people like Norwell. How many families won’t ever have to go through that, because we helped. You helped.”

“You guys aren’t superheroes,” Penelope pointed out. “You’re only human.”

“So are they.” Derek looked up at her. His eyes were glossy. “Grown men that I should be able to stop because that’s what I am, too.”

“It’s not that simple, hun,” she said apologetically. “It’s not just about power. There’s a bunch of different factors. They hide behind masks and personalities and–and in secret places. They make it hard to find them. But whenever we get a case, we always uncover them. We do everything we can.”

“It’s not enough. It’s never enough.” He angrily wiped at his cheek, trying to stop the tears before they came.

Penelope looked at Spencer, a little shaken. She was so used to Derek’s rhetoric being more positive. Usually, he would stand by the fact that even though there seemed to be an unsurmountable and ever-growing evil in the world, units like Quantico and the people that it was made up of would always be there to put a halt to it. Seeing him break like this was a rarity, and she didn’t like it. 

Spencer’s fingers tapped against his thigh. He was clearly unnerved by the sudden change of heart, too, but he moved forward and wrapped his lanky arms around Derek, closing his eyes as he did so. For once, the boy wonder had no words. He knew there wasn’t anything he could say to comfort Morgan. No reality, no mantra, no lie that he couldn’t shelve or disprove. Because in a way, Derek was right. They couldn’t be there to fix everything that was wrong in the world. It just wasn’t possible.

Penelope covered him from the other side, enveloping the rest of Derek into a comfortable embrace. She pressed a slow kiss to his shoulder, shutting her eyes tight as she tried to keep her own tears from spilling. He slowly took the two into his arms, letting his head duck into the nook created by their bodies pressed against him. His shoulders began to shake as silent sobs left his chest. Penelope hushed him in a whispery breeze of voice, and Spencer gently rocked him back and forth. 

Derek cried.

Even after his tears let up, the three of them lingered in their circle for a few minutes, their backs creating a shield from anything the harsh world outside the office had to offer. For the first time in a long time, Derek Morgan felt completely safe.

“Sorry.” The mumbled apology was accompanied by a lift of his head and small sniffle. Penelope broke the hug to hand him a tissue from the desk behind him, which he took and used gratefully. 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” she soothed. “I wish we knew you were feeling like this.”

“It gets hard to stay optimistic in this line of work,” said Spencer. “But just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you have to stay silent. We all struggle. It’s natural.”

“I’m not supposed to struggle,” he laughed bitterly. “I’m the tough guy. The-the one who kicks down doors and chases the bad guy and…”

“And walks away from explosions without looking back?” Penelope raised an eyebrow. “Come on, baby, you’re not a one-dimensional action hero. You’re allowed to be sad.”

“No one here expects you to put up a front all the time. Especially not us.” Spencer squeezed his arm. 

Derek let out a long breath. “Thanks, guys. Sorry I’ve been all distant and mopey lately.”

“It’s okay. We were only kidding about you ignoring us,” Garcia smiled. Spencer turned his head and frowned.

“What? I wasn’t. I hate getting coffee by myself.”

This earned a chuckle from Derek, and he felt proud of himself for making him laugh. “Sorry, Reid. Is it too late to go now? We can take a lunch and go on a make-up date, if you want.”

“Four’s my limit. Lucky for you, I’ve only had two so far today,” he grinned. “Y’know, it’s funny, just a few months ago my limit probably would’ve been two or three, but I think I’ve built up such an immunity so quickly that my body doesn’t even register the caffeine like it used to anymore. If I keep this up I can probably down five in a day in a couple of weeks and I’d be fine.”

“God help us all if you get to that point.” Derek clapped him on the shoulder. “You comin’, baby girl?”

Penelope pursed her lips and smoothed out her purple-patterned skirt. “Does the cafe have hot chocolate? Or something non-caffeinated that won’t make Penny G. sicker than she was after her twenty-first birthday party?”

“They absolutely do.” For a moment, his hand lingered at the small of her back. Before he gathered his keys and wallet, he pressed a kiss to her cheek and then Spencer’s, leaving her glowing and him flushed pink.

“Thank you guys,” he said, his voice hushed. “Really.” 

“We love you,” Spencer said matter-of-factly, smiling. 

“Just do us a favor and tell us when you feel down next time, so we don’t have to pull it out of you like wisdom teeth.” Penelope stood on her toes and returned the kiss he’d given her, before her velvet heels clunked back down on the carpet and she started for the door. “Okay, c’mon! Mama’s craving hot chocolate now.” 

“And I’m craving coffee,” Spencer added. 

“Bad Reid. You’re gonna get the jitters!” 

“I don’t get jittery anymore!”

“That’s because you’re always jittery.”

Derek smiled as he watched his two favorite people in the whole world bicker in front of him. His gaze turned towards the piles of paperwork on his desk. Hesitation. Then, he turned off the lights to his office and followed behind his partners.