#since everything will be mostly about lestat - as it is in the books ofc

[dracimexidae]

I'm fucking free, I finally finished that forsaken book, and I never want to touch another Anne Rice's work ever again!!! 🙌

[maimedaffair]

i keep starting media things &* getting distracted lately oml currently i am :

• rewatching inuyasha ( i haven't watched the whole series all together since at least 2010 wOOF. i used to be obsessed with it. knew chapter numbers by heart. could tell you anything. now ? vague squinting. hyperfixations are fascinating. but i do genuinely love it still. ten year old milo was onto good shit. ) • reading the vampire lestat ( i've been trying for months help ) • playing the vampire therapist ( i feel like i'm so close to the end ?? lestat would benefit from being in this game. ) • playing palia ( my outfit is so cunty it makes me happy ) • replaying the walking dead game ( it's been 10 yeARS since i fully played through it ) • rereading red white &* royal blue ( yall i forgot alex was intelligent sos ) • watching you ( i only have like 3 episodes left. i wasn't enjoying season 5 to be clear , but i do wanna finish it. ) • watching loki & the multiverse of madness ( finished s1 , started the movie. meant to watch it so i could watch s2. )

life has just been kind of fucking awful. i got booted off disability bc the government is absolute garbage so i have to start getting spinal injections for pain so that i can hopefully manage to get a job &* keep a job , so my brain has been so scattered &* unable to like focus in on stuff. if i get the job i'm aiming for , i'll mostly be driving so i might get into audio books ?? i have a LOT of fuckin maas books to read. give me sam narrating tvl &* i'd blow through it. putting the rest under a read more cause it involves some talk about grief / pet & parent loss !! mostly just touching bases on life status & updates <3

i also had to put my dog of twelve years down a few weeks ago when he suddenly had a massive tumor in his gums. tried to cut it out but it came back like two weeks later so. he could have gone a good bit longer but his quality of life would have kept going down &* i just couldn't do that !! then the 16th of june will be my mom's 1st year of passing date so. she's been haunting the ever living fuck out of my dreams. so like ofc the government cutting me off my source of income &* insurance just haaaaad to all happen at the same time as this stuff.

i am fuckin floundering y'all.

i fought for 3 years to get on disability. lawyers &* everything. they let me have it for 2.5 years at a wopping 600/month but denied me during my re-exam this year because i lost 145lbs &* am no longer trying to kill myself 5 times a year to account for hospitalizations , so clearly my POTS , EDS , fibro , BPD , & PCOS have all cleared up too. this was all determined through paperwork , by the way. no physical exam or anything. <3 JUST VIBES OUT HERE.

it's not all bad !! my roommates have been lovely. my girlfriend is literally the love of my life &* is coming to visit in july. my cats are super affectionate without my dog. i started testosterone &* have quickly learned how to manage the rage issues. ( men have no excuse for hitting or scaring people when angry <3 ) my facial hair has grown in really fast. ( yay pcos ?? ) i have a great support system that will not let me drown even without a job &* healthcare money. like i'm okay , i'm just !!! you know ? tired a lot. obv my adhd has been kicking my ass with attention span. i'm really glad to have tumblr &* rping as a steady thing for me to do. i've been doing this shit for like 18 years now. started with inuyasha &* here i am again asdjfafas.