#since the intention is drawing im putting this on this blog. u understand

[lambentumbra]

pspsps anyone wanna ask me some oc questions that i can maybe draw answers to

[modesty-blaise]

Since I'm curious, what caused you to become very possessive of your gifs? Not out of rudeness but curious, since no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr which automatically credits you at the bottom of the gif.

Hey. Tbh, at first I didn’t wanna bother with yet another anon but since I see no ill intent behind this, I decided to go and answer it. Unfortunately, half-way through I realised my reply is turning into incredibly long semi-bitter rant and expands well beyond calling out just one person in Psychonauts fandom (and yes, this is related to Psychonauts fandom – you do know that these anons are not really that anonymous, right?) so… buckle up! All that beneath “read more”.

I’ve been on this hellsite for like…7-8 years? Maybe more? Can’t really tell cause I moved blogs and my old blog now consists of only 4 posts I’ve made close to leaving so I honestly have no idea how much time I’ve spend here before moving. Anyway, during those few years I’ve spent on my first blog I’ve met a lot of creative gifmakers who enjoyed sharing their love for fandoms they were in. I’d like to point out that this was waaaaay before tumblr created that insert-gif option so, back in the day, the only way to add gifs to your post was to: 1. make them yourself 2. take them from someone else. And a lot of people were taking them from someone else which resulted in many gifmakers giving up on making gifs and leaving fandoms and/or even leaving tumblr – and I’ve had many of my friends give up on what they love and have their games/shows/movies/whatnot ruined for them cause people would not stop stealing from them. And many of my friends eventually left tumblr cause they couldn’t deal with it anymore.

Tumblr adding insert-gif option, in my opinion, honestly, just made it worse for gifmakers. Cause now people had the opportunity to use gifs for their posts, with or without creators’ permission/knowledge, but it was alright and it was perfectly fine cause creators were credited. There’s their name at the bottom. It’s alright. Like… it doesn’t matter if they’re actually okay with people using something they’ve put hours into making or if they’re not – tumblr gives them credit so they SHOULD be okay with it. Simple as that.

Well, we’re all different and some people are not okay with that. I’m not okay with that. It took me weeks to figure out how to use photoshop correctly. Took me countless hours of looking through different tutorials and basically trial-and-error-ing my way through the process. Whenever I make gifs, it takes me hours to record videos and then hours trying to achieve that 3mb limit on gifs (thank lord these days we’re beyond 1mb limit). After all that effort I put into creating gifs for games that I love and enjoy, someone is going to make 2 clicks and have that same gif added to their post, without even asking. So how is that okay?

Back to your question. Yes, “no matter what you do a lot of them show up in the gif function on Tumblr”, that is true and that is something I was aware of when I saw you-know-who announcing they would be starting 30 days Psychonauts challenge. So, hating to see my gifs used against my will, and not wanting to start any unnecessary drama and threaten people in advance with reporting them if they do use them, I’ve made my blog as private as I could. It was only accessible through the dashboard, it was not showing in ANY search engines inside and outside tumblr, and my gifs were impossible to find through insert-gif function – I’ve made sure. I did all that cause I just knew that during those 30 days, someone would use my gifs and I would get mad and I desperately wanted to avoid that (hence going extreme). And you know what happened? You know what creator of this challenge (who prevously already reposted my gifs) did? *drums* They used my shit anyway. :3 They just uploaded it from their computer, where they’ve saved it earlier.

And like… a lot of people see pretty pic and decide to save it - I mean, we all do that. Heck, even I have a folder full of shit I saw online and liked it – but i’m not uploading it online cause I haven’t made it. It’s not mine to share.

But some people are not like that.

Some people see fanart of something they like and they want to share their opinion on it – and instead of making their own post, maybe drawing the fanart themselves, they decide to use someone else’s art for their post. Do they know who made it? Do they have creator’s permission to share it? If the answer is NO, then they should be a decent human being and not do that to creators. Oh, they shared it anyway but now people in fandom are calling them out BUT this actually happened on accident? They know who the creator is but, somehow, they accidentally forgot to credit them? OK, well, it’s possible, shit happens, but they better make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Then sometime later these same people decide they want to make a post appreciating their fav character and they want to include pics cause duh, you can’t have character appreciation post without pics, right? Now they have several options: they can get their own screenshots, make their own gifs, maybe draw something… or they can just take someone else’s creation. Do they know who made it? Well there’s my fuckin name on it, and since they’ve stretched it from 245 to 500px, it’s really hard to miss, plus it’s not like there are that many people making Psychonauts gifs. Do they have permission to share it? Hmmm, nope, didn’t ask me. Is this also an accident? Could be. I mean, I’ve seen stranger things happen, so accidentally forgetting to credit content creators twice… kinda suspicious but still possible. Who am I to say?

Now if these people then decide to make a post appreciating their fav ship and they want to add a cute pic of the loving couple – yup, you guessed it! They can either create something or take something. Again: they know who did? They asked for permission? Got the permission? No?!?! But they posted it anyway?!?! :o Could it really be, that after being called out publicly, after being told that reposting is bad (something that’s very easy to understand), after even having tumblr staff intervene and remove stolen shit from their blog, after all that - could it really still be an accident?

Nah, man.

They just don’t give a shit.

Cause if they did, they’d stop with that crap first time they were called out.

(and if you think Psychonauts fandom is their only fandom and that they’re not doing this crap in other fandoms too - hoooo, boy, do I have some bad news for you! Do you know how many stolen and butchered HP fanart is on their blog? Hobbit stuff? They seem to be one of the most accident-prone users on tumblr. And honestly - it’s a real miracle their blog’s not been terminated.)

Back to what I was talking about - I’m not okay with people using my gifs and I’ve made it very clear. I literally do not give a shit if I’m credited or not, I’ve made it very clear that I don’t want my gifs used without my permission. If you like them and want them on your blog, there’s a fuckin reblog button. It’s sole purpose is to allow you to share other people’s creations. Or shitposts, cause lord knows we all love those.

So that’s why when someone spends hours going through my Psychonauts tag and goes as far as to send me “I love your gifs” anonymous message, but the very next day makes stim moodboard post including one of my gifs, now cut and resized to fit 3x3 format they’re going with, I get mad. And that’s why when someone uses one of my gifs to promote their RP blog, butchering it to fit their aesthetics, and later when confronted going as far as blaming their good friend on it cause god! they’ve had no idea it wasn’t theirs, I get mad. (makes you wonder though: if they friend has such skills, why not making them gifs themselves?)

Like…. I’ve had my gifs stolen plenty of times. I’ve had them stolen for roleplaying, for headers, for imagines, just for notes… I’ve had them stolen by people claiming to run official fan sites (that’s a real wild story but I won’t get into that now)… I’ve seen them on pinterest, weheartit, FB, all those random gif sites… and I’ve seen EVERY. POSSIBLE. EXCUSE. ranging from: “well i found it on google so why should i credit you” “lol dunno who made this but its pretty so im posting it” “ive had it on my computer for years so i don’t remember where i got it from” “i dont know how to make gifs so im using weheartit as a source” “credit to whoever made this” (that’s my fav) to “its just a gif so who gives a shit” (it’s not – it’s hours of creator’s time and lots of love that you’re now shitting on so thanks) and “i have an /illness/ and getting notes makes me feel better so dont u dare blame me for stealing” (I don’t remember exact excuse but it was something along those lines and like… how do you even respond to something that without looking like an asshole?).

And sometimes it really is just an accident. Sometimes people really do forget to credit you and/or ask you for permission. And I’ve had my fair share of those accidents. People in Psychonauts fandom have been using my gifs for various crap but, when approached, they’ve removed it and apologised. And it’s something I really appreciate. (if they actually bother reading this and they recognise themselves: i’m really grateful and thank you for not being an ass)

But you know what I don’t appreciate? People making a call out posts about me, asking about my gifs when they know very well they’re the main reasons why I’m not making those gifs anymore, at the same time failing to address any of the issues I have with them and instead rather explaining to others what happened BUT explaining only the parts that make me look like a villain cause how I even dare be mad about them stealing? How I even dare call them out on it? That is so ridiculous and criminal of me, and it’s so so sooooo bad that they need to call me out. I deserve to be called out by the very same person who’s been stealing my shit.

And their explanation is…well… it’s something.

They were sympathetic and polite? When did this happen? Did I completely missed that part? Please someone fuckin enlighten me with such post/message where they expressed their sympathy and politeness and I’ll apologise right this second.

I told them to “literally fuck off”? Yeah, that did happen, I admit that. Did they bother explaining why I told them to fuck off in the first place? Did they say they were caught stealing from me and had tumblr stuff remove my shit from their blog? Did they get into details of how they demanded the proof of my so very wild and obviously false claims but then when I showed it, they just deleted that “how dare u call me out cause I would never do such thing” post? No, they didn’t and geee, I really wonder why.

Instead, what did they choose to address? Out of all the things I’ve said. Hm? What did they choose? Me telling them to fuck off. Me dropping the F-bomb on them, rudely rejecting their obvious kindness and politeness. Nothing else.

Back to what I was talking about before I got derailed again: no, I’m not mad cause this person used my gifs without crediting me. I mean – I am, but that’s not my main issue with them (and they know it). My main issue is that this is someone who will continuously lie and steal and still deny any of it, even when there’s plenty of proof (and you can always count on me to show up with proof tbh), and then go as far as to publicly ask about my gifs and try to call me out. Like me getting mad that something I’ve put hours of work into, and something I’ve made cause I love the game and I want to share my love and appreciation for it, is now being shared against my will and my knowledge - like me getting mad over something like that is so unreasonable that they need to make an entire post about it while pretending they have absolutely no idea why I’m even mad and why we have issues.

And I have every fucking right to be mad. 3 times is not an accident. 2 times to the same person is not an accident. They know it. But yeah, playing stupid is their defense so it’s not like I expected them to actually address their actions this time either.

And you know what? Just because I swear a lot doesn’t mean I’m wrong. Doesn’t mean there’s no solid ground for my claims. People on tumblr have always been and always will be stealing shit. Sometimes they will credit you, often they will not, and that’s just how it is, doesn’t matter if you’re okay with it or not. But that doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit quiet and accept someone’s shitty behaviour. Especially when it’s directed at me.

TLDR: giving credit =/= having permission

but my previous posts leading to this ask were not about that

you knew that already

[nchoi]

hii (〜￣▽￣)〜(〜￣▽￣)〜(〜￣▽￣)〜  again, acacia. so you saw my wallflower and my babydoll. but this time you get to meet the head bitch in charge, super fab, actual blair waldorf, naomi choi. by now, y’all know if you click on this you are obligated to plot with me. xoxo.

****update: i created all of this on the spot & also … it got kinda long... again... sue me. but as always, if you want the nutshell scroll down to the very last bullet point. [in sadie saxton’s voice] you’re welcome.

░ * . ╰ ✯ › ⊰ IM JINAH, CIS-FEMALE, TWENTY-FIVE ⊱ is that NAOMI CHOI ? the FASHION DESIGNER & SOCIALITE. they’re known to be AUTHORITATIVE & BEAUTIFUL. but also VINDICTIVE & IRRATIONAL. unknown to them, they are the reincarnation of HERA.

BACKGROUND

unlike my other two characters, naomi actually grew in a very stable home. her parents are very much in love. therefore she was very much loved. being their only child, she was constantly spoiled. always given whatever she wants, whenever she wants. and of course, she’s used to getting her way all the time. if you couldn’t tell by the gif, she’s bad and boujee. her family is loaded. her father, being the chairman and co-owner of rosewood resort (hotels.) and her mother, being a now retired model turned to a fashion designer. she’s always been surrounded by luxury and will continue to be.

naomi basically grew up in private schools. of course her parents wanted her to be the best of the best. so she was constantly put under (positive) pressure by the them. this of course results her to being the top student of her year every year. she never settled for less, for both them and herself. she doesn’t like to disappoint her parents ever. they are her support system and role models. she strives for their success (and even more than that.)

during high school, she was sort of a bully. she was very ruthless and cold. she had that, “i’ll do anything to get where i need to be,” personality. and if it meant paying someone to transfer the other student threatening her valedictorian spot, then yes, of course she’d do that. people either hated her or loved her. there was no in between. she kept her clique small. yes, a clique, which indeed was very exclusive. invite only. think of regina george. she ran her school and she liked to keep it that way. once she graduated she became more of an adult about things. of course her ruthlessness was still around, but a little more filtered. just a tad bit. she got accepted into almost every ivy league college. but ended up going to harvard. 

naomi grew a very big following. she was very popular on social media due to her sense of style. a lot of fashion magazines, blogs, youtubers, etc all tried to recreate her looks. at first looking the best was just a simple task to her. but eventually, she discovered that fashion was no longer a competitive thing. but just a really fun hobby she had. her love for fashion grew immensely. while she was studying to become a business major, she started up her own clothing line company. first it started with a couple shoes. then it slowly started to build into more. she eventually graduated with a bachelors degree in business management and is now a full time fashion designer.

how she got to seattle: so, although she has a deep love for new york. she found herself most comfortable in her family penthouse in seattle. a lot of her younger memories were spent their. mostly for family vacations. the view is beautiful, more calming than the hustle and bustle of nyc, and she always just felt like she belonged. she is currently living alone. her parents still residing in new york and visiting every now and then. she does travel constantly. but always finds herself back home in seattle.

PERSONALITY+RELATIONSHIPS

naomi’s PERSONALITY is quite something. she has that tell it like it is personality. she just calls it likes she sees it. even if she’s not exactly right. she’s literally drowning in her riches. making her materialistic af. some people might think she’s that dumb bimbo rich bitch. but she’s actually very VERY smart. witty and intelligent to be exact. she’s very particular when it comes to most things. she wants things done correctly. so she often runs by the quote, “if you want things right you gotta do it yourself.” she doesn’t like relying on others to get things done when she knows she could do it faster and better. a little bit of a ocd queen. also, she’s able to throw old things together and make them look better, which is another reason why she became a fashion designer. she’s very dedicated to her work, thus making her very goal oriented. she’s very creative when it comes to her designs. and she’s actually a very good artist, like drawing her sketches. i’m sure she picked up doodling and bullet journaling while growing up. *plays boss ass bitch vine.*

when it comes to FRIENDS she has plenty, at least in her head. she just knows a lot of people through her many connections. so she has many affiliations. but never real friends. she’s very particular with the people she associates herself with. she believes that those around you reflect who you are as a person as well. therefore, she only surrounds herself with the best of the best. she may not be the best person to tell your secrets too either because she’s quite the gossip queen. but she can probably persuade you to trust her. rip. however, if you are a close friend of her’s, she’s very loyal to those who are loyal to her. which means she’d never do you dirty. but that’s only if she really cares about you. she’s a really great listener and she’s willing to give advice to those are willing to take it. plus, she’s the type to spoil the people she loves. so expect the best christmas gifts ever if u rollin’ with her. honestly, she really does need to surround herself with good people with genuinely good intentions. so please, someone teach her what loyalty is. bonus points if they’ve been friends for awhile. displays loyalty.

please flood her with ENEMIES. i know for a fact that she has these. she was bully in high school. so you know this girl has more than enough haters. she uses people, she pushes people around, etc etc. like she has some very evil intentions. and i would love it even more if some of these enemies were girls that she caught her fiance with. that would juicy af. especially since she’s vengeful and irrational. while naomi does have some good intentions, she leans more to the chaotic evil side. she puts fuel to drama and loves to see people crash and burn. why? she wants that reassurance that she is flourishing above all. she never wants to be belittled and will do anything to remain on the very top. also, a rivalry would be perfect. especially if someone is damaging her business. because that’s her baby and she would do anything to protect that as well. naomi absolutely needs enemies. give her many. plenty. an abundance please.

as for LOVERS. naomi has most definitely dated a lot. she’s had a handful of serious relationships as well. she is a beautiful and alluring woman after all. she does believe in love. she’s witnessed it between her parents and wishes for a love like their’s. so of course this girl is a hopeless romantic. and honestly, she needs love in her life. it would totally tear down her tough bitch exterior and show how soft naomi can really be. but that’s probably going to be with her fiance. ok, a little bit about naomi and her relationships. she’d be very loyal to anyone she’s dating. she’d spoil them with gifts, surprise visits, and honestly just give them the whole world. they’d be the only person who’d be able to tell this bitch to stop acting so unreasonable. and *gasp* she’d actually listen. i feel like she’s the type to do whatever she needs to do to please her significant other. sad, but it’s true. she’s not as independent as she makes herself out to be. but everybody needs somebody. am i right?

WANTED CONNECTIONS

FRIENDS

best friend — her closest confidant. she’d never let go of this person. they’re her ride or die // f or nb

winghoe — another close friend of her’s probably the person who got her and her fiance together. // m, f, or nb

exes — she’d be the type to still be friends with her ex. yes, they’ve loved each other. but they’ve come to terms they’re much better off platonic. // m or nb

ENEMIES

victim — someone she’s bullied in the past. just someone to constantly remind her that she’s a raging bitch. // m, f, or nb

used — someone she dated and she just basically used. most likely treated them as a toy in her little games // m or nb

frienemies — just always trying to one up each other. whether it be in fashion, friends, family, just life in general. they’re always in a secret competition. // m, f, or nb

LOVERS

fiance — this would be the love of her life. even if they bicker and argue. she’d be 100% dedicated to them. // zeus deity only

first love — once naomi is dedicated to someone it’s a little hard for her to let them go. especially if it was her first love. this could be drama central yooohooo... // m or nb

on and off — just the person she always runs back to. she’d probably even try contacting them if she ever got into a fight with her fiance. // m or nb

** also, since we don’t have zeus deity yet, her love life is up to be fucked up. pls. f her up.

MISCELLANEOUS

✿ an angel with a halo unbalanced with horns, not a devil but not a saint either?? kind yet has a backbone. softer than what she seems like. humorous and witty though understanding. mistrusting but willing to let loyalty speak. wealthy but tries not to depend on her family. and heavily involved in the king glitterati lifestyle. she is the queen of fashion. and honestly trying to be the queen of life itself. she’s chaotic neutral. she comes off as a bitch, but if you are her friend, she’s very very loyal to you. honestly, her life seems fine. she has parents that love her but push her to be the best of the best. she tears people down for shits and giggles. and can be quite manipulative. but overall, naomi choi is a beautiful, driven, judgmental, opinionated, artistic, and the most problematic head bitch in charge e v e r.

alright. if you made it to the end of this ilysm. this might be kinda confusing cause tbh i’m too lazy to proofread. but please like this shit if you wanna plot it uppppp.

[psychotherapyconsultants]

The Power of Creativity in Helping Us to (Kind of) Cope

The intensity of Maureen “Marzi” Wilson’s anxiety varies day to day. Some days, it’s a “mild uneasiness,” a nagging feeling that she’s forgotten something important. “Other days, it’s closer to terror, a horrible premonition that something catastrophic is imminent,” she said.

The outward expression varies, too. Sometimes, she fidgets. Other times, she’s “sitting in the corner of a closet wrapped in a blanket.” Because “some days are harder than others,” she said.

Wilson has been struggling with anxiety since she was a teen. Several years ago, she was trying to figure out the best way to cope with her anxiety, which prompted her to start creating illustrations online. She’d also taken a personality quiz, and discovered that she’s an introvert. She wanted to understand more about her introversion and her anxiety.

As she writes in her insightful, inspiring, funny, poignant book Kind of Coping: An Illustrated Look at Life with Anxiety, “I’d assumed that my limited social circle and my preference for solitude were due solely to anxiety. But it turns out I’m an introvert who has anxiety. And I became committed to understanding what that means.”

Wilson created a doodle named “Marzi,” who’s trying to figure out how to navigate life as an introvert who also struggles with anxiety at IntrovertDoodles.com.

For Wilson, creating these illustrations helps her to express her “fears and hopes in a therapeutic way.” “It “enables me to make sense of my feelings. Writing and drawing help to clarify my intentions, and that makes it easier to follow through on my goals,” she said.

That’s the thing about creating and making: It helps us to better understand who we are. It helps us to unravel our many layers, and brings us closer to our core. And, ultimately, it helps us to cope with our struggles, whether those struggles are around having anxiety or depression, losing a loved one, or dealing with a painful situation (or all of the above).

Wilson noted that releasing our thoughts “onto paper or canvas [can keep] them from taking up space in your head.” And that can provide meaningful relief—and insight. When we use creativity as a tool to work through our thoughts, feelings and challenges, we can make sense of our inner turmoil, and even soothe it. We can get to its root. And we acknowledge, name and honor our experience, which is a powerful way to care for and bolster our well-being.

Here are five ways you can use creativity to explore and cope with whatever you’re struggling with.

Describe the details. In Kind of Coping, Wilson illustrates what it’s like to live with anxiety on a regular basis. For instance, in one illustration, she notes that anxiety is problems with prioritizing (“I don’t know what to do first!”), and thinking that every decision you make is wrong. It’s “bodily mutiny,” with headaches, insomnia, muscle tension, nausea, shaking, sweating and exhaustion. It’s irrational thoughts: “Nobody likes me,” “I’m a failure,” “Something terrible is going to happen,” “I’m so stupid,” “I’m not safe.” It’s “messy moods,” such as overwhelmed and irritable and afraid and detached.

Spend some time identifying the details of your struggle. Then draw these details. You might create a comic like Wilson. Or you might think about the different creative outlets you enjoyed as a child—making up stories, drawing animals, keeping a diary, dancing—and use those to explore and name the specifics of your struggle and situation.

Paint the whirl of emotions. Focus solely on your feelings. How are you feeling right now? Channel those feelings into a painting, letting them dictate the colors you use and what you create. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, so you splash paint onto your paper, and move it around with your hands. Maybe you decide to depict what your depression feels like during the course of a day using different shapes. Maybe you decide to paint your grief in its messy, multilayered stages.

Write about the quality of your feelings. It can be hard to put into words precisely what we’re feeling. In Writing for Emotional Balance: A Guided Journal to Help You Manage Overwhelming Emotions, psychologist Beth Jacobs, Ph.D, notes that “Emotions can blend together like watercolors, and a physical sensation such as a knot in your stomach can indicate a variety of feelings ranging from excited anticipation to anxiety to fear or rage.” Which is why she suggests exploring the qualities of our feelings with these sentences:

If this feeling was a color, it would be ….

If this feeling was weather, it would be ….

If this feeling was a landscape, it would be ….

It this feeling was music, it would be ….

It this feeling was one object, it would be ….

Create a conversation. Write out a conversation between you and whatever you’re struggling with. Maybe that’s a conversation between you and your anxiety. Maybe it’s a conversation between you and a mistake you made. Maybe it’s a conversation between you and a trait of yours, which you’ve been disappointed about (e.g., your shyness, your sensitivity, your introversion). 

Use your genuine curiosity to delve deeper. What do you want to know about this situation, this illness, this challenge, this trait? You might ask questions like: What do you want to tell me? What are you trying to teach me? Why? What do you need right now? What are you really upset about? What’s on your mind? How can we become a team? 

Use creativity for encouragement. At the end of Kind of Coping, Wilson features an illustration of the many reasons to keep going: the blooming of a plant you grew, clean sheets, constellations, the first sip of coffee in the morning and the sparkling of grass with early morning dew.

Consider drawing your own reasons to keep going, seemingly small reasons that put a smile on your face or soothe your soul. Or think of another way you can use your creativity to encourage, support and uplift yourself. Maybe you write yourself a letter or a poem. Maybe you snap photos of everyone and everything you love, and create a collage or a small, tangible album. You can keep it with you, and look through it any time you need some comfort and a reminder of all the beauty and love that surrounds you. Or maybe you create something else that gives you hope, like this other illustration from Wilson’s book:

Creativity is just one way we can cope. For instance, Wilson’s comics complement her other coping strategies: She sees a therapist once a week, takes medication, practices self-care and stress management, and uses cognitive techniques for redirecting anxious thoughts. She also bakes, sews and skates, which are hobbies, she said, that are calming and provide a sense of purpose. Plus, “lots of puppy cuddles” help, too.

Through her illustrations, Wilson said that she’s lucky to have found an incredibly supportive community on Instagram (@introvertdoodles). “The most beautiful part of this journey for me has been realizing that I’m not as alone or as weird as I thought I was…I’m not the only one learning out how to (kind of) cope, and neither are you! It’s something we can figure out together.”

And that’s another powerful benefit of creativity: connecting over our shared humanity. Or, in short, kinship.

All images are from Kind of Coping: An Illustrated Look at Life with Anxiety. 

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-power-of-creativity-in-helping-us-to-kind-of-cope/