#slay this accidentally got so long i am SO sorry SJFDJDSFJ

[ofchaotics]

               it’s all rather unsettling - he’s never been one to mesh well with such drastic changes , but he tells himself that this is all for the better . stripped from a city he knew as if the map was etched on the back of his hand , he almost feels stripped of his confidence . watching the chicago skyline fade and facing the open road was almost cathartic . a bittersweet moment where he feels he may find himself , but in the process , lose himself . a celebration and a mourning , all in one . 

it’s different here , this tiny town in washington . it doesn’t feel right , until it does . why he’s picked somewhere across the country to settle in for college ? he’s not so sure . initially , he’s all nervous and soft spoken . it dissipates with time , and he finds himself a group of friends that lessens the blow of feeling so alone . isolation is never good for him , and he’s sure that’s presented itself to this new group of friends . their pushy demands to come out tonight , and how he dreads it because they’ve made a nasty habit of calling him out for the very apparent crush he now possesses . she’s never paid him any mind , and , if anything , she’s actively avoided him . they’ve crossed paths a few times before , and he’d offer a smile - to which , she’d scuffle off as far as she possibly could .

it’s a blow to the ego , but he makes an honest effort to brush it off . at least , that’s what he assures himself . as if he hadn’t mulled over what to wear and analyzed his awkward posture and inability to conjure up some witty one-liner . exasperation aside , he settles into this dreaded house party nursing his red solo cup full of vodka and red bull . he sees her there , and their eyes catch for a short moment . there’s something different this time , and he’s not sure on how to really describe it . a gentle prod to his ribs , his friends urging him on . all the words are caught in his throat , but he pushes pass all those superficial anxieties .

approaching her , he’ll offer a smile . there’s that tinge of nervousness that’s hidden within it , but he’ll try not to think of whether his nerves are visible at the surface . “ hey , i’ve got you in some of my classes , right ? i’m mateo   .   .   .  i don’t think i’ve gotten the chance to introduce myself yet  .   .  .   “   /   @sewninto