#slowburntomtord

[mikeyddie]

hello hi i returned. requests will not be on for a little bit as i'm working on a specific story which i'll post here!!

Unsteady

Tom and Tord get upset and nervous at just the thought of each other. With Tord back in Norway all Tom can do is spiral, getting upset with himself over not being sure if he even hates Tord. While he wants to rip him apart, he also wants to pull him into an embrace. It's all too much to think about. Tord feels pathetic for being in love with Tom and eventually can't take the pain of the distance anymore. So he seeks out a trip to the UK.

one ; not ready

Tom wakes. The last thing he wanted. Ever since everything happened with Tord five months ago no one's really been the same. Everything feels heavier.

He sits up and rubs his eyes. While yawning he reaches over to his night stand to grab a prescription bottle. He pops it open and lets two pills fall into the palm of his hand. He takes them without water, wincing at the way they slither down his throat. He shivers.

Begrudgingly, Tom stands and throws his hoodie on, then takes his phone off the bedstand and gently sets it in his back pocket. He slept in his jeans again and he couldn't bother to change. He made his way out of his room and to the bathroom. Edd hears him walking around and shouts,

"Making breakfast!"

Tom doesn't respond, but Matt yells back from his own room.

"What is it?"

"Bacon and eggs!" Edd replies.

"Stop yelling across the house!" Tom finally shouts.

There were no more responses after that. He rolled his eyes. Tom picked up his tooth brush and wet it, then squeezed some toothpaste on it. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it, opening a social media app out of habit. His face scrunched at the minty taste of the toothpaste but he kept brushing nonetheless.

As he scrolled he come across a picture of a dog. Nothing out of the ordinary, but the username of the person who posted it caught him a little off guard.

'norski__'

He recognized that. Not wanting to think about it further, Tom shut his phone off and tucked it away. He spat and rinsed off his toothbrush. He shook his head to himself and left the bathroom.

"Good morning, Tom," Matt greeted happily as they both entered the living room.

"Sure, for you it is." Tom droned, not even looking at him.

Matt's expression faltered but he just kept walking, situating himself in front of the TV. Tom sighed, sitting at the dining table, opening his phone once again. What else is there to do?

He tapped on a different app to avoid what happened earlier. It felt like hours were passing as he scrolled but it hadn't even been two minutes. A picture of a girl in a bikini, a picture of a dog, videos of cats, repeat. What a productive morning, Tom thought.

"You good, man?" Edd asked as he played some eggs.

"Never been better," Tom remarked.

Edd let out a disappointed sound. "I get your upset, but it's almost been six months, Tom. You can't keep being all edgy about this,"

That seemed to set Tom off.

"Right because you endured what I did." He mumbled.

"Hey I was there too! He almost killed all three of us not just you." Edd was getting mad now.

"Can we just eat breakfast?" Tom barked.

Silence filled the air. Edd took a deep breath and finished plating the food. He walked them over to the table and sat down. Matt looked at them with a concerned look as he rose from the couch. Once they'd all sat down no one spoke.

Tom continued to scroll, now angrily, not touching his breakfast. Edd kept giving him looks but he paid it no mind.

"Do you guys want to come to the store with me later?" Matt questioned, breaking the silence.

No one spoke for a second.

"Sure," Edd replied.

Tom paused. norski__ had appeared on his feed again. But this time he couldn't pass it up as coincidental name. It was a picture of him. Of Tord. Tom's breath hitched. Matt glanced at him but didn't say anything. The photo was Tord with a black scarf and earmuffs on. He had a huge smile on his face and the dog from earlier was with him, trying to lick his face. Tom wanted to rip his hair out. He liked the picture, he really did. It was cute and silly. But he also hated it. He wanted to print it out to burn it. He wanted to blow a hole in his phone with a shotgun. But instead he took a breath and clicked on the profile picture, an anime girl, and opened Tord's account. He had a lot of pictures posted and a pretty decent amount of followers. He wasn't following many people though. Tom combed through the photos indivually, taking long moments to inspect them each. Tord making snow angels, a picture taken by someone else of the dog, probably his, sleeping on him, photos of meals he ate at fancy restaurants, even a picture of him with Paul and Patryck. Tom was surprised they still spoke to each other. He continued looking through them until Edd spoke.

"Dude, your food is getting cold."

Tom stopped and looked up. Matt had finished eating and returned to the couch and Edd had his last bite on his fork. He took a breath.

"I'm not hungry. I'll eat it later." Tom stood and picked up his plate, walking into the kitchen and placing it in the microwave so it stayed warm.

He quietly returned to his room.

*******************************************

Tord, Paul and Patryck all sat in Tord's apartment on the couch and recliner.

"So you want to go to London next month?" Paul asked.

"Well it's far out enough to not be stupid expensive, but not so far that the anticipation kills me." Tord answered.

Paul nodded. "Makes sense."

"So who is paying for expenses here?" Patryck added.

"I assumed we would all pay for our own tickets." Tord began. "I mean you can afford it."

Patryck shook his head. "Right but I know you can't. You don't exactly make big bucks anymore."

"Hey I still have money put away. I didn't spend it all on comics." Tord gestured vaguely to the hall where his bedrooms and bathroom were.

Patryck nodded with a sarcastic expression. "Well either way, are you sure this is a great idea?"

"Yeah- I mean your...complicated feelings about that Tom guy is making me a little hesitant. You were almost killed the last time you were around them." Paul cautioned.

Tord rolled his eyes.

"That was different! I was trying to kill them! No thanks to you two." He sunk a bit into his seat.

"Right because we can casually disobey orders from a man who would kill us if we blinked wrong." Patryck slammed his hand on the arm of the sofa.

"Listen. Just let me come with you. It'll be fine. Yes I'm nervous, but this could be my chance to make everything up to the guys!"

"If my friend tried to kill me I don't think I would appreciate shit like this," Paul argued.

Tord rubbed his temples angrily. "I don't want to argue about this anymore."

"Tord, listen. The mere sight of a PICTURE of Tom makes you act like you're going to explode. I think you being around him, let alone two other people who hate you, is an awful idea." Patryck concluded. "I don't think you should come with us."

Instinctively, Tord bolted upward and stared daringly at Patryck. "You will take me with you."

It was a command; no longer a suggestion. Since he lost his job he lost his power over Paul and Patryck, which wasn't really an issue, however it left an unnecessary power dynamic that didn't hold legal status. So when things like this happened and Tord snapped into commander mode, Paul and Patryck tended to listen.

Patryck finally sighed. "Okay but you are paying for everything you do yourself. I am not helping you." He turned to Paul who nodded in agreement.

Tord smiled. "Great!"

After a moment of silence, Paul stood.

"Well I guess we have no more business here. We will buy our tickets for the 25th of next month. I'll text you the cost, pay me back immediately."

They exchanged nods and him and Patryck left through the front door. Tord let out a breath and relaxed back into the sofa.

"Finally," he mumbled to himself.

He grabbed the remote and flicked on the TV, switching through channels and finding nothing interesting. Eventually he gave up and turned it back off, taking his phone off the coffee table, muttering about how awful the channel selection is these days.

Opening a social app he noticed a lot of notifications. Confused, he clicked on the notification section. Sure he had a good following, but usually likes and comments would come periodically throughout the day and he had just been on his phone a couple minutes prior.

It was mostly likes on his most recent post, a photo of his dog Anders, which reminded him that he needed to feed her. Continuing to look through his notifications, he got up and, half paying attention, opened a cabinet to pull out a bag of dog food. The sound caused Anders to come running from Tord's bedroom, knocking into him. His phone flew out of his hand with the dog food, which spilled everywhere as he hit the ground.

"Augh- Anders!" he exclaimed, though his frown was soon gone as she began licking all over his face.

Trying to stop her and giggling uncontrollably, he managed to get off the floor and pick his phone up. He sighed at the new crack but shrugged it off because of the small size. Then he saw a notification that had somehow been clicked on when his phone fell.

'tommSKA_🏁 viewed your profile

5 minutes ago'

Tord felt his heart skip a beat and his breath hitched violently. He glanced between the phone and Anders who was staring at him, confused. He gently picked up his phone and tapped on it, revealing which posts of his Tom had viewed.

"What?" he whispered.

Every photo Tord had posted in the last year had been viewed by Tom five minutes ago. Why the hell would he do that? Stalk his account like that? Tord thought for a moment, sitting back down on the floor. Anders had begun eating the spilled dog food, occasionally stopping to pant happily. Tord took a deep breath to try to prevent himself from hyperventilating, but it only prolonged it a little. Did Tom no longer hate him? That wouldn't make sense. Maybe he just got over it. No, Tom doesn't let things go like that. Did he have feelings for Tord? That's stupid why would his mind go there? Soon Tord was breathing faster than he could process and he found his phone dropped on the ground again. Anders was staring at him worriedly. He was stammering under his breath and shaking fiercely. He couldn't escape the terrified spiral until Paul walked in the door again. Tord heard it but couldn't will himself to look.

"Tord?" Paul questioned, seeing him sat on the floor in the upwards fetal position.

"Oh god, Patryck!" he called, rushing up to Tord and taking a seat next to him.

He turned off Tord's phone and moved it away, around the island corner so he couldn't see it anymore. Paul took Tord's face into his hands and made them make eye contact. Was this a great way to stop a panic attack? No. Did it work? Yeah pretty well. At least for Tord.

"HEY!" Paul shouted in his face.

Tord gasped, holding his breath for a moment. Patryck quickly entered and took note of the scene, joining them on the floor and starting to pet Tord's back.

"Tord look at me. Look at me." Paul continued.

"He's not here."

Tord hated that Paul knew what was happening. And that Patryck probably did too. They knew all about his paranoia and what it did to him. He knew it was a good thing that they could help but it didn't feel like it.

"You're okay. You are okay. You're alive and breathing. He's not here." Paul repeated the same few phrases until Tord could begin to actually process the situation.

Patryck rubbing his back helped relax him enough to steady his breathing, and Anders had laid her head on his knee which helped him ground himself. Eventually he was back to normal- his normal- and could communicate again.

"Tord, I- I really don't think you should go to London again. Not now." Patryck said quietly.

Tord shook his head, glancing between the two.

"No, no, I have a month to get over this. I can get over this." he assured.

"I'm gonna make up for what I did, Pat."

Patryck and Paul looked at each other for a moment, not sure what to do now. Having the same thought, they turned back to Tord.

"We are not leaving your side when you see those three, okay? You can't do this alone." Patryck stressed.

Tord could only nod, exhausted from the panic attack. His chest hurt and his heart was beating fast. He needed water and a nap. But for now he would take this time to think about what would happen next. And how he was going to get himself to not do this in front of Tom. Or Edd and Matt.