#sniffles n sobs n weeps n falls to the ground in a puddle of my own tears

[bylertruther]

mike, dustin, and lucas meeting together in the av room trying to come up with a plan to help will in season two was soooo sweet 🥺 they knew that will was in trouble, that it was getting worse, and all they wanted to do was help him and not let him go through that alone.. instead of being freaked out or judgemental like so many others were, they just treated him with care and made it their mission to learn more so that they could be of use to him. and they were so serious, too! it wasn't a joke or a game to them. they understood that it was real life and that whatever will was going through was real, too. just. they love each other so much!! 😭😭😭

[codyfernmorelikedaddyfern]

Is There Somewhere - Soft!Xavier x Fem!Reader

Another one inspired by my spotify playlist. Feel free to suggest any other pairing of songs and characters from AHS.

Big Xavier mood at the moment, can you tell?

I recommend you listen to the song after or before you read, Halsey is an amazing artist.

Description: Your best friend Xavier has just moved to LA to pursue his acting career. He leaves a message on your answering machine letting you know he has started to date someone. Facing your feelings for him, you ask him to come and see you during a mental breakdown.

Warnings: Mental health, panic attacks and soft Xavier. A pinch of steam at the end but that’s it.

“Hey, Y/N! Sorry I didn’t call since I settled in my new flat,” the soft voice of your best friend, Xavier rung from your answering machine. “I was on my way to an audition for the last episode of Mash and that girl rear-ended me and I guess I got a little busy her and we had went on a couple of dates since then” he continued. “Just called me back when you’ve got a hot sec’ and if you need me over just say the word and I’ll drive back to you! Miss you!”

He had moved hours away from your suburban part of Fresno weeks ago to work as an aerobic teacher while trying to make his way on the big screen as an actor. These weeks had been the hardest since you had met Xavier back in school, you two knitting a beautiful friendship and helping the both of you bloom from awkward teenagers to bright young adults.

There was however one issue with this whole ordeal. Blossoming by his side lead to your feelings for him burgeoning at the same time. The ache of having him gone was already a handful for you to handle but now knowing that he had someone to watch over him. Someone else.

Your hands trembled, your lip starting to quiver. Your chest tighten and soon enough, the ability to breath was aching in your chest. You quickly pushed the door of your bedroom closed, afraid your parent would hear your incoming panic attack coiling in your lungs. Grabbing on the large handset, you shakenly dialled his number. After a couple of tones, his voice came through.

“Hi, this is Xavier?

-Xav, it’s (Y/N), you whispered with a halting breath.

-(Y/N)! It’s so go- Are you alright, he asked, concerned by the irregular sound of your voice.

-N-no, I n-need to s-see y-ou.

-Shit! Okay, hang tight! Focus on your breathing! I’ll jump in the van and come straight to you!”

Gasping for air as the panic crept more through your body, crippling your limbs, you felt your legs give in under your weight and you collapsed by your bed in a muffled crash. “FUCK! Montana! I need to run! My best friend is having a panic attack!! She needs me!” you heard come through the phone, a long rustle building up as Xavier started to pack up a few things. The jingle of his keys came to your ears as he came back through the phone to talk to you. “Honey, I need you to breath. Inhale through the nose, count to 5 then exhale through the mouth,” he encouraged, waiting to start hearing your breathing regulate somewhat. “I’ll be here as soon as I can, I am ready to go, please keep on breathing” a soft sniffle came through to your ears, not realising the tears staining your cheeks as you started to cry in fear. “I love you, (Y/N), hold on” was the last thing you heard before he hung up.

Sitting on the cold carpeted floor of your bedroom with your head erratically spinning for what felt like hours, you managed to regain control on all of your 5 senses. Having lost complete notion of time, you stumbled over to place the handset back on the dock and crumbled on your bed. Seconds, minutes, hours went by as you laid on the mattress, gently weeping and drifting in and out of consciousness.

The ringing of the house phone pulled you out of your tremor. “(Y/N)! Xavier on the phone for you!” you mother shouted. Your weak legs carried you back to the phone, picking it up gingerly.

“Hello? Xavier, you asked weakly.

- Hey sweetheart. I’m just down the road, filling up the road. I should be over in 20.

- Xav… My parents can’t see me like that… Is there somewhere you can meet me?

- It’s alright, he reassured, I’ll get a hotel room somewhere and we can talk it out there, okay?

-Yes, just let me know when you’re there”

The conversation ended by a muffled exchange of “I love you”, the words cutting the wound open once again. It slowly dawned onto you that hours had passed. Gathering a pair of jeans and a clean sweater to discard your tear soaked one, you sat back on your bed and changed then patiently waiting, the uneven sobs still clutching at your chest. The phone rang again and Xavier inform you of the hotel he had settled in. Peeking out of your bedroom to hear the quiet mumbling of the TV downstairs. Your change of clothes in your overnight bag, you gingerly sneaked out of the room then the house to jump on your bicycle and ride your way to the designated hotel.

The building came into your field of view and your heart skipped a beat. As you came closer, you could see his tall and athletic frame pacing in front of the doors. He knew the sound of your bike and could recognise it in the busiest roads possible, having heard it too often in the middle of the numerous night you rode to his house to see him.

His blue gaze locked onto your bloodshot (Y/E/C) eyes and he sprinted towards you, leaping over the railing of the stairs leading up to the hotel. You stumbled off of your bicycle and let yourself fall against his strong arms.

Your best friend’s hands laced themselves around your wait, pulling you securely up against his chest, the second one losing itself in your (Y/H/L) (Y/H/C) locks. Your own arms locked themselves around his neck, burying your featured against the crook of his neck, taking in his scent and the soft texture of his supple skin. You knew you had missed it, missed him, but you only realised now exactly how much of him you missed.

Like a rumble, his voice shushed and cooed in your ears, putting you in the safest place in your mind. He was your safe place and you both knew how often he led you to it in the middle of the night when it felt like death was catching a grip around your lungs and you thought your life was exiting your body.

“I’ve got you now. You’re safe”, he whispered, gently stroking your hair. Holding onto you securely, he leaned forward to grab the bicycle you tossed to the ground. “Let’s go inside” his voice filled your ear, lowering you gently to let your feet make contact with the floor, your arms untangling themselves as you grabbed the handles of your bike and parking it by the entrance. The silent walk up the stairs felt like an eternity. Xavier pushed his key in the door, unlocking a simple single bed rood. His hand motioned for you to step in, his footfalls in tow with yours, the door closing behind you.

He plopped on the bed, smiling up at you in an attempt to cheer you up but you lost eye contact, looking down at your feet before his hands reached up to pull you against him, gently laying the both of you down on the white sheets of the bed, keeping you all scooped up against his warm chest.

“Talk to me, please, have I done something wrong?” he questioned, full of concern. The jerky breath that filled your lungs next felt like it sliced through your chest like daggers. Tears leaked out of your eyes, quickly staining a small puddle against his chest. A sob, louder than you meant to allow, escaped your lips, followed by another one and the next thing you knew was him pulling your face impossibly closer to him as your cries and whales pushed a few drops from his ocean eyes.

Xavier stroked your hair, carefully rocking you from side to side. His gaze directed itself towards your features, exploring the twisted expression of total desperation on your face. His fingers pushed your chin up in an attempt to get your attention, internally wishing to see more of the beautiful soul he had grown up to adore and somewhat admire. “If someone hurts you, you need to tell me. I will make them pay” were his next words before you drowned yourself in his eyes, your brain allowing you a break between wails.

You propped yourself on your elbows, examining the handsome figure laying beneath you. Then something came over you and you pushed your lips against his in a pour attempt to make your cries stop. His hands, gently stroking your back, jolted away from your sweater in surprise, his eyes wide open. The taste of your tears mixed with his chapstick and own taste was like ambrosia to you. For the only split second the kiss was initiated, it felt like your heart was beating again, like you had never been alive until this very moment of deep intimacy.

The realisation that he was not returning the kiss hit you like a brick of walls, pushing yourself off his lips and seeing his face, his perfectly sculpted face, torn in a mixture of heartbreak and surprise, tears starting to seep out of his own eyes. You jolted yourself off of his body, stumbling back on your legs until you bumped into the wall behind you, a hand covering your mouth in horror.

He sat on the bed, his mouth agape. “I-I-I’m so so-rry, I d-idn’t mean to” you stuttered, the pain in your chest coming back as the flock of butterfly built up in your chest dispersed throughout your body. Your eyes darted around the room in search for some comfort. You heard the springs of the bed creak as Xavier pulled himself up from it, the same look of shock plastered across his features. “I didn’t know, (Y/N)”, he whispered from the other side of the room, his gaze fixated on you like a prey waiting for it’s predator to pounce on it.

Your body shifted, turning your back to him “I didn’t mean to” was all you could repeat, the cries peaking up again. “I just wanted to talk, I swear” you defended yourself, pushing your fingers through your hair, pulling on your (Y/H/C) roots. Breathing became hard again as you slowly lowered yourself to the floor, kneeling against the carpet, keeping your back turned to him.

“You have that girl back there… I just felt… Alone and I panicked”. Her words charged at him like a thousand armed men. Xavier buried his hands in his face at the realisation of your words. And it hit him. He hurt you and that thought was like a poisoned dagger through the heart. A small cry escaped his lips as he sat down on the bed, the venom of her own tears bleeding through his body.

His feet paced through the room as he emptied his pockets on the bed and soon enough, his arms wrapped around your (Y/B/T) frame. “You’ll never be alone, please, never think that someone else will get between you and me. I love you” his lips planted a soft kiss on the top of your head and you felt it again. Your heart beating.

A foreign feeling you had never been granted the chance to experience. “I’ve brought a few things to take the edge off” he finished, sitting back on the bed. The content of his pockets was in fact a lighter and a half-assed joint. You were always the one to roll them. A little smile pricked at the comers of your mouth and you sat next to him, wrapping your own arms around yourself in fear that the colony of fluttering critters would escape your belly.

You had liked Xavier for so long that you had not bothered noticing the change of rhythm your heart was adopting. Lighting it up and passing over, the next few minutes were spent in silence, the both of you consuming the cigarette slowly.

“Is that better, he enquired, cocking his head in your direction.

- I think so. I’m so sorry for earlier, you cursed yourself for reminding yourself of it.

- It’s…It’s okay (Y/N). I’ve always wondered how it felt to kiss you anyways.”

Your heart stopped at his words.

“I mean, we have been friends for so long that it’s kind of always been in my mind because, you know, we’ve never considered each other that way.

-It’s not okay, Xavier. You have a-, you could not even pronounce the words, your lungs tightening in your chest once more.

- A girlfriend? I mean, we’re not actually together, we’re just… hanging out, really”

He continued muttering about his situation with that girl without realising the redness blossoming in your eyes.

He turned his head to you when you heavily gasped for air, realising you were on the verge of another panic attack. He pushed your back against his chest and your clutched his arms like stairway railings. Xavier’s head rested on your shoulder as your grip tightened against his wrists, your breathing falling short over and over again. Beads of sweat formed on your forehead, your palms turning clammy and sticky. The dizziness came next, your fingers loosening against him, the room spinning. The nausea built up in your stomach as you whispered “To the ba-throom, pl–please”. In one fell swoop, he hooked his arm underneath your legs and hurried you to the bathroom, settling you both against the cold tile of the shower floor.

Your hair flew off your face as his fingers pulled it gently to the back. His free digits trailed underneath your sweatshirt, rubbing circles against the small of your back as your head lulled to the side, your vision blurring up with flashes of whites and blacks starry spots.

Another handful of minutes passed as Xavier gingerly helped you sway out of your fit of terror with soft words on encouragements, trying his best to reassure you. Your mouth dry and cottony, you gently spoke “I didn’t mean to…” you rolled your head, your body regaining any previous strength slowly, nestled against his chest. He pressed his lips against the supple skin of you cheek and you felt him breathing in your smell once again.

“Can you stand up?” he wondered before you nodded. Pulling both of your bodies up, you made your way to the bedroom again. “Let’s enjoy this high while it lasts and enjoy being together, alright?” he smiled, turning on the radio and shifting the frequency to play a station with the better music availability at the moment. “Tonight, we party!” he laughed, starting some sort of choreography taking possession of his body as he danced in his tube socks in the hotel room.

You giggle at the number of expressions he pulled, pulling you in for a spin to the rhythm of Queen, Billy Idol and The Beatles. Looking up and him, your heart flutter as his smile and laugh grew wider and louder, matching your expression, slightly picking up on the hype train he had just pushed you in. When Rock with You by Michael Jackson started playing, the atmosphere shifted as he pulled you in closer. You drowned yourself in the ocean blue of his eyes, letting it consume you. He linked your forehead to his, the tip of his nose brushing against your while his voice whispered the lines as if it was written for you.

The pit in your stomach deepened once more and, for a second, you felt yourself falling while his fingers linked to your hips, helping your to the beat of the song. His gaze looked down to the awkward movement of your feet underneath him and when he linked it back to yours, it was like euphoria.

Tendrils unleashed in your rib cage and your smile dropped, your smile fading as your realised what was happening. Right in this moment, it dawned onto you. You had just fallen in love with him. It had been slow at first but, as you looked in the deep pools of his eyes, you had just jumped into your feelings. Your fingers, resting on his shoulder, climbed up his neck, peppering his skin with goose bumps. Xavier’s eyes fluttered shut for a split second before yours did. You had both stopped dancing without realising it.

You pushed yourself on your heels, trusting your instinct to find his lips again, now devoid of any lip balm but coated with a fresh coat of saliva as he had just licked his dried lips. The mere fluttering in your chest exploded against your lungs. You could taste the weed in his breath but more importantly, you tasted him.

This time was different, you felt his hands tighten against your hips as he pulled you even closer to him, leaning slightly to the side and deepening the kiss. Grabbing the side of your throat, his digits moved quickly against your skin and when you both pulled away, the air between the both of you only seemed both burning hot and icy cold.

“I love you” was all you could whimper before Xavier dove in for another kiss, this time pushing you against the nearby wall. His palms gripped the underside of your thighs, pushing you up against the small dresser and helping you sit on it. Breaking off the kiss to trail his lips down the crook of your neck. “Promise me you’re not saying this because you’re jealous” he groaned, his lips bruising and making your shoulders. Your finger grabbed his jaws, pulling his gaze towards yours, silently trying to convince him this was not an act. “I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight” were your last words before another burning kiss. “Glad to know I’ve beaten you to it this time” he whispered against your lips, unleashing a legion of critters in your heart, falling helplessly even deeper for your best friend as he carried your body to the single bed.

“This is right where it begins” he whispered…

[hannie-dul-set]

the sun was setting and the cold dark blues slowly poured over the warm orange tint of the sky. you let a short breath slip past your lips as you shoved your hands into your jacket's pockets to shield it from the september wind. you looked over, and from a distance, you could spot a lonesome figure sitting on a bench a couple of feet away. a frown was painted on your face along with your heart falling upon seeing him.

you walked against the wind, and you took your steps towards the boy.

---

soonyoung was devastated. his fingers were rubbing against the skin of his cheeks to wipe away the anguish of tears that never seemed to cease. his lips were formed into a pout and his face was tinged red. hiccups and sniffles filled the empty spaces in the breeze.

head looking down towards the dust on the ground, he let out a few whimpers as the hot tears continued to stream down his face, dripping down onto the denim of his jeans.

he didn't mean to get you upset— he just wanted to see you, that's all.

"i'm sorry, y/n..." soonyoung mumbled out in between the gaps of his cloudy sobs.

all of a sudden, he felt someone shadowing before him. and with droplets still dotting his face, he looked up.

pink dusted cheeks from the slight cold and hair tangled in the wind— there you were, standing in front of the somber male.

"soon? are you oka— oh—!"

like a strong rush of the air, he engulfed you in his arms, doused in the warmth emanating for his skin. a small gasp slipped past your plush lips at the sudden embrace.

"i'm— i'm so sorry, y/n. please, please don't hate me."

he was shaking; words cut off by each short breath. you were caged by a tight grip and as he holds you tighter and tighter by the second, you felt your heart dripping into a puddle of guilt and penitence. gently, you snaked around his torso, letting him bury himself more into you. the space between you was nonexistent— hearts beating together in a heavy melody. your palms left traces along his back, whispering soft hushes in trying to appease the boy from his weeps.

"oh no, sweet baby, you don't have to cry, okay? thank god nothing happened to you. and don't you ever think that i could hate you."

although your jean jacket was now damp from soonyoung's tears, he seemed to calm down a little bit. and in that moment, that's all that mattered.

"i'm sorry, yn— i— i wont do it again, i promise."

carefully, you placed your hands on his shoulders and pried yourself away from him. your actions seemed to stir panic within the male, and it was evidently shown in his expression but it quickly disappeared. although you two departed from your embrace, your hold on him still remained.

"next time," you started. soonyoung's glass stained eyes bore into you. apple-kissed and lips turned downward into a small frown— he was worried that despite your previous words, you were still mad at him, and his heart ate away at him at with just thought of it. "just ask me, alright soon?"

immediately, he nodded vigorously.

you let out a quiet laugh at his child-like behavior and you got on your toes to give him a tender pat on the head.

"now dry your tears and show me that smile of yours, soon."

solace tugged at the corners of his lips as his eyes formed tine crescents mimicking the moon above. your hand travelled towards his fingers, lacing them together and giving his a squeeze. you gave him a warm smile, contrasting the icy breath of the air.

"let's go home, yeah?"

---

stripes, claws, and tiger paws

y/n l/n was living the dream— has loads of cash, has good grades, has a stable social life, and not to mention her impressive social media following. but her life would immensely change upon saving a cat (or maybe tiger) during one stormy evening. she couldn't decide whether that change was for better, or for worse.

12 // dry your tears

a/n: soonyoung,, my poor baby i love you and im sORRY 😭

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