#so all there is left is a pivot and brienne’s light

[ilynpilled]

I feel like as the resident dishonor/honor guy enjoyer I have to speak on honor as a construct and how it seems to operate in asoiaf in my eyes. I will be stating the obvious here imo but: violence IS inherent to it. Be it directly or through the enablement of it. “Honor”, as a feudalistic moral construct, revolves around the reinforcement of a status quo. It is a moral construct that is embedded into a feudalistic structure, one that is inherently violent. It can be deeply flawed and destructive as a result of deeply rooted systemic issues. Being “honorable” is very complicated because, again, it does not exist based on a very sensible moral framework. It ends up contradicting itself because the way society is structured in Westeros.

Almost nothing embodies this more clearly than the KG. They are supposed to be the paragons of honor: an unsoiled white cloak.

Vows are social contracts this society is built on. This is why Jaime is very restricted in a lot of ways in his world by his label. Breaking one of the most important contracts (one that happens to be key in reinforcing a feudalistic structure: it places the king’s will above every single other moral or ethical code) makes it so he is not believed or trusted and he is unable to operate properly within their society in a lot of circumstances, as we witness in his chapters. It is honorable to protect the weak and the innocent, but it is honorable to protect your king in all circumstances and reinforce a status quo. To obey your family and play your societal role. To obey laws, even if they are unjust. To keep your word, to be honest. Loyalty to a tyrant has to be inherently more honorable (especially in certain positions) to maintain this status quo, even though it contradicts other oaths and we know it is inherently immoral. Balancing values is the most interesting aspect of characters dealing with ‘honor’ and morality. Feudalism is what makes the honor system collapse. Honor itself can be a more vague concept, “the quality of knowing and doing what is morally right”, but the way it is defined and how it operates within this society is so fucked. The KG appear in the weirwood dream (mirroring the imagery of The Others, conflating the honorable white cloak with snow and cold and death.) “You swore to keep your king safe” “and the children as well.” Yeah, the innocent children of kingslanding as well, that would have burned to ash. It is honorable to save your king, to protect the weak, to save the children, to save the innocents of KG, to obey your father. He tells this to them in the dream, he explains his reasoning for killing Aerys, but they do not budge. That is what Jaime fears the most, the complete collapse of everything that holds meaning to him, heroism becoming undefinable with these conflicting moral codes, which is likely another huge part of him keeping it a secret. It is something he feels powerless against. The way things are prioritized is wrong. Morality becomes skewed. In Jaime’s mind the enemy and primary source of doom is this nonsensical moral construct that contradicts itself represented by institutions that make no sense. It is what makes his symbolic fire go out. His moral code conflicts with this society’s code of ethics, which eventually leads him to cynically accept amorality. It is disillusionment that tears the idea of heroism and being “honorable” apart and leads to moral nihilism.

Another aspect of the honor code and its violence is the fact that it places more value to individuals based on class. It is dependent on class and a flawed social structure. This is despite the fact that vows of knighthood call for the protection of those that are too weak to protect themselves: the underprivileged. Jaime keeps having this epiphany of an inherent equality in death that seems to contradict the way society is structured. Aerys’ life is worth inherently more according to the honor code than Rhaella’s, than the lives of thousands of innocents, than Jaime’s. Yet, a lowborn hand, no one, seems to die harder than Aerys does (and nobody cares). A crown is worth nothing when crows feast on victors and vanquished alike, and the rightful heir himself. We are all equal in death, so the text is indicating that something is not right here.

When it comes to characters and their relationship with honor the important through-line is examining whether they are being “honorable” in the abstract sense, if they base their actions around empathy and a sense of actual justice, or if they are abiding by made up flawed constructs. Being viewed as honorable by this society does not make you a good person. In fact, in order for you to abide by the honor code you would likely have to turn into an amoral individual. For example, if you try to keep the cloak pure white you will metaphorically soil it. Like every one of Aerys’s kingsguard did. To keep their oath to the king, they broke vows to protect innocents and protect women. They should lose their honor by a lot of definitions, but that would mean the status quo collapses. Jaime’s knighting for this reason is very much like a boy being sacrificed at an altar. It is not just about drawing a parallel between young girls and boys being sentenced to bloody doom by violent constructs created for their gender.

“Blood is the seal of our devotion.” He bleeds on his plain white tunic. It was never “pure white”, it was always all tainted in blood. It is inherently violent. You can argue that is when “the boy died.”

Very rigid and hypocritical honor codes built for feudalism lack nuance and lead to amorality. I think George aims to address, interrogate, deconstruct, and then reconstruct honor, as with most other key concepts present in fantasy. Honor can be redefined. Examples like “No chance, and no choice”, among many others, are at the root of that reconstruction. Even then, the reconstruction does not conflate it with pacifism necessarily. For example, Chelsted did the ‘honorable’ thing, in the abstract moral sense, of quitting his job and not supporting a tyrant anymore, but that act achieved nothing in preventing the wildfire plot. Same with essentially everyone important at court abandoning the situation that is Aerys, turning away from a gaping wound and not addressing it before it was too late. Jaime had to soil the ‘white cloak’ and disrupt the status quo and lose his “honor” within those terms by murdering his king and his pyromancers as a kingsguard and actually save half a million lives. It was not glorious, nor was it anything like the songs, and the city is still doomed because there is no way to get that festering corruption out of there at this point, metaphorical of the greater problem with KG, but it was heroism, a choice with meaning, and a form of triumph, even if the consequences break Jaime down the line. He gets no answer to the question of what it means to be a knight and a man of honor if society’s version of it is so skewed. Then, Jaime and the readers get an answer in the form of Brienne: “I dreamed of you.”

[kellyvela]

What did you take Sansa smile to mean after "who manipulated whom?" I feel stupid for not being able to read it. But I value your opinion on Sansa so here I am.

I’m sorry this take so long Anon :(

During Episode 1, the jonsa scene was cut with a question not answered:

Sansa to Jon: Did you bend the knee to save the North or because you love her?

Sansa is not happy with Jon bending the knee and she’s not sure if Jon did it for the North or because he was in love with Dany and/or was manipulated by Dany’s charms.

This was explained by Sophie Turner:

Right away there are signs of discord between Sansa and Dany. “Sansa is threatened,” Turner says. “She worked so hard to control the North and feels like Jon should be loyal. It’s frustrating to have Daenerys, who she feels is manipulating Jon, come in and take control.”

—Sophie Turner

How is her relationship with Jon now that he’s brought home his new girlfriend?

Her relationship with Jon is struggling because he’s so clearly in love with Daenerys and believes in her completely. Sansa thinks she’s power-hungry and not the rightful queen. There’s a huge amount of fighting between Sansa and Jon.

—Sophie Turner

We don’t know if Jon answered Sansa’s question or he just skipped it.

At the start of Episode 2, Sansa’s attitude towards Dany is the same. Sansa allowed Jaime to stay at Winterfell, against Dany’s wishes, and after the “trial” Sansa didn’t wait for Dany to retire first, Sansa is the one that did it first leaving Dany standing there:

Daenerys is clearly bothered by the way Sansa pivoted the conversation into letting Jaime stay. She seems even more bothered when Sansa walks away from the table without so much as a backwards glance. And then Jon shirks her gaze too, and brushes past without a word. Daenerys is left standing in front of the Northern leaders looking unsupported, and she takes it out on Tyrion in the hallway later. [x]

Moment’s later, after listening Jorah’s advice, Dany went to Sansa and we have this conversation between them:

Dany:  We have other things in common. We’ve both known what it means to lead people who aren’t inclined to accept a woman’s rule. And we’ve both done a damn good job of it, from what I can tell. And yet, I can’t help but feel we’re at odds with one another. Why is that? Your brother.

Sansa: He loves you, you know that.

Dany: That bothers you.

Sansa: Men do stupid things for women. They’re easily manipulated.

Here we have exactly was Sophie Turner explained. She thinks Jon is in love with Dany and his feelings for her were determinant for his decision to bend the knee. 

But Dany’s answer to Sansa’s assertion let her see that the circumstances are different, in fact, the other way around:   

Dany: All my life, I’ve known one goal: the Iron Throne. Taking it back from the people who destroyed my family, and almost destroyed yours. My war was against them. Until I met Jon. Now I’m here, half a world away, fighting Jon’s war alongside him. Tell me, who manipulated whom?  

Here Dany lets Sansa know that if it weren’t for Jon, she wouldn’t be in the North fighting “Jon’s war”. So that’s why Sansa had to smile. She just realized that Jon had to do it. That Jon was the one who manipulated Dany.

This explains Jon’s obsession with the line: WE NEED ALLIES. POWERFUL ALLIES. That is basically the only explanation Jon gave the North so far, as the reason why he bent the knee to Dany.   

As Jon said: The North needs Dany’s dragonglass, the North needs Dany’s armies, the North needs Dany’s dragons. So he did ALL that was necessary to get them and he got them.      

Now Sansa knows. Now Sansa understands. That’s why she smiled, and immediately she changed her attitude:   

Sansa: I should have thanked you the moment you arrived. That was a mistake.

And Dany just kept reciting her love declaration to Jon: 

Dany: I’m here because I love your brother and I trust him and I know he’s true to his word. He’s only the second man in my life I can say that about.

Sansa prevailed in this contest. Sansa got the truth from Dany’s mouth herself. That’s why she smiled Anon. 

And if the “subtext” of this conversation is not enough to explain Jon’s actions, the next scene is another subtle/hidden clue:

Theon to Dany (bending the knee): My queen.

Dany: Your sister? 

Theon: She only has a few ships, and she couldn’t sail them here. So she’s sailing to the Iron Islands instead, to take them back in your name.

Dany: But why aren’t you with her? 

Theon to Sansa: I want to fight for Winterfell, Lady Sansa if you’ll have me.

Theon Greyjoy, another “Not a Stark” like Jon Snow, that grew up with the Stark siblings. Theon Greyjoy, one of the more evident Jon Snow’s foils, is just there calling Dany “My Queen” and bending the knee.

But when Dany questioned him why is he there, at Winterfell and not with Yara, Theon revealed his true motivation: He is one of Dany’s allies, he calls her “My Queen”, he bends the knee to her BUT he wants to fight for the Starks. For Theon this war isn’t just Jon’s war, is his war too.      

Daenerys is confused by Theon Greyjoy’s arrival to Winterfell, though she seems pleased by the sight of another ally sworn to serve her. But then Theon turns to Sansa and says he wants to fight for Winterfell. Daenerys witnesses their embrace, and sees a deep, emotional devotion no Greyjoy has ever shown her. Theon may be serving Queen Daenerys, but his heart is with the Starks and the North.[x]

See?

Theon have sworn to serve Dany in public. Theon calls her “My Queen” in public, BUT he is not with Yara taking back the Iron Islands for Dany. He is there to defend Winterfell, to fight for the Starks and the North. 

And that’s exactly what Jon Snow is doing. Jon is defending his family, his home and his people no matter if he has to call Dany “My Queen” and tell everyone that he bent the knee. 

On the contrary to Theon, Jon Snow have sworn to serve Dany in private and he never actually bent the knee in the proper fashion. He told everyone that he did it, but not really. He is playing a part. 

The article I’am quoting here is a very Pro-Dany one, but is well written despite missing the point of the story. Some readers/watchers/authors are so close to see the light, they explain everything so well but reach the wrong conclusion. But some parts of their analysis are worth to quote:  

Ned Stark’s memory and the fight for the North is the emotional heart of the coming Battle of Winterfell. The Hound once fought for Arya, and now he finds himself protecting her home. Theon’s entire arc has brought him away from Winterfell and the Starks and now back into their arms and service. Ser Davos found a leader in Jon Snow after Stannis was defeated, and Tormund will follow his “little crow” into any fight.

Jaime and Brienne seem to be there primarily for one another at this stage, but Brienne is loyal to the Starks first and foremost. The Knights of the Vale, the remaining brothers of the Night’s Watch, all the Wildlings — they are there because of House Stark.[x]

What can I say Anon? Ah, I know one thing: THE STARKS ARE THE HEART.

Good night.

[luthienebonyx]

F (especially because I know you prefer description over dialogue) and I!

I... Do I have a guilty pleasure in reading? Not... really? I mean, sometimes I just want to curl up to read something light and fluffy when I’m not up to anything that requires more brain power, but I really don’t feel guilty about anything I read. Anything that strokes that fannish id is fine with me. As for writing, I suspect that the entire Aussie Coffee ‘verse probably qualifies!

I just KNEW you were going to ask about F!

The conversation between Brienne and Tyrion in Chapter 4 of More Than a Memory was really HARD to write, even though I’d known it was going to happen since before I’d even started writing the story, because it was a pivotal bit of the plot. But I think this conversation between Brienne and Sansa in Chapter 5 worked out well in terms of characterisation:

"Brienne," Sansa says, and then stops.

"Your Grace," Brienne says at once, raising her eyebrows in question.

"May I ask you something? Something quite… personal? You have my permission not to answer if you do not wish to."

Brienne looks down at the floor and bites her lip. "I'll answer, Your Grace, of course, if I can." She braces herself, wondering which broken, ragged part of her soul she might have to bare.

"I was going to ask you if it was worth it," Sansa says.

"'It', Your Grace?" Brienne asks, confused.

"Lying with a man so that you get a baby in time," Sansa says, "though I think I know the answer just from looking at how you are with her."

Brienne goes hot, then cold, and, muttering something—she's not really sure what—she turns away and busies herself with laying Little Cat back in her cradle. Little Cat makes a small, unhappy noise at being removed from the centre of attention, and it's not until Brienne deposits her favourite toy—a gift from her Uncle Tyrion, a soft toy knitted in yellow-gold yarn in the shape of a lion with a mane of raw, unspun wool—in the cradle beside her that the baby quiets and Brienne has to straighten up and face Sansa again.

"I'm sorry," Sansa says in a rush. "I shouldn't have said- I shouldn't have asked."

Brienne raises both hands—another one of Tyrion's mannerisms that she's picked up—and says, "No, Your Grace. It's quite all right. You just surprised me, is all."

She motions Sansa over to the two chairs sitting side by side in the corner, the place where Brienne, and more lately the wet nurse, Bredgit, has sat and nursed the baby while Anera has stitched tiny garments in the chair beside her.

"That's not why I took Ser Jaime to my bed," Brienne says, looking over at the cradle. "I never thought that there would be a child. I was so used to thinking of myself as someone who had never been bedded and never would be bedded, that once he- he left I just went back to thinking of myself that way. I didn't know or expect… until it happened."

Sansa nods, but doesn't say anything, for which Brienne is profoundly grateful.

"I had three broken engagements before I decided to go out into the world and try to be a knight. Did you know that?" Brienne continues.

Sansa shakes her head. "I had no idea."

"After the third of those betrothals came to nothing, I knew I'd never marry, never be a wife, and so, I thought, I'd never be a mother either."

"And yet here you are, not a wife but a mother, and with a child that's not a Waters or a Hill or a Storm but a Lannister." The Queen's voice—for it is the Queen speaking now, the Stark of Winterfell, and not just Sansa—sounds suddenly sharp, and Brienne feels a tiny frisson of unease. She's grateful that Little Cat is safe in her cradle on the other side of the room.

"I loved Jaime," Brienne says, and realises with something like shock that it's the first time she's ever spoken those words to anyone but Jaime himself. Tyrion is the only other person to whom she's ever spoken of her feelings for Jaime, and Tyrion said the words for her that time. "I still love him. I will always love him."

"But he left you," Sansa says, frowning. She had cursed Jaime to the seven hells and back in the days after he left Winterfell, using language that Brienne was surprised to discover Sansa even knew.

"Yes, he left me," Brienne agrees, swallowing against a suddenly dry throat. "And maybe he would have come back to me, if he could have. I'll never know. But that doesn't change the sweetness of the time we had together, of loving and being loved, in all the ways that a man and woman can love each other, if only for a little while."

"So when you took him to your bed it was because you loved him and you wanted him to… to take his pleasure of you?"

It's an intrusive question, but when Brienne glances over at Sansa she finds that her eyes look almost… bruised. She's trying so hard to understand, Brienne can see, but the idea of a woman taking her pleasure of a man as he takes his pleasure of her is quite outside her frame of reference. Brienne's heart aches for her.

"My memories of that time are only good ones, Your Grace, and that includes the nights. The world is full of bad men, terrible men, wrong men, and I shudder to think what giving my body to any of them might be like, but when it's the right man…" Brienne swallows hard and blinks back tears. "Then it can be the most beautiful thing in the world. It makes you feel more… alive than you've ever been in your life."

"Brienne." Sansa is staring at her. "I never… I never knew."

Brienne takes her hand and squeezes it, even though Brienne is a knight and Sansa is a queen and she should not take such a liberty. Sansa looks as if she needs it.

"I talked of giving my body to a man, but it's not even really that," Brienne says. "It's not giving or taking but sharing, until you don't know where one of you stops and the other begins. And when I look at my child, that is what I see. Not myself, not Jaime, but both of us."

"That sounds like the sort of perfect love that I thought I wanted when I was a girl," Sansa says. "Until I grew up," she adds in a harder voice.

Brienne bites down on a laugh. "Oh, it wasn't perfect, Your Grace. I am all too human, stubborn and slow to trust, and sometimes quick to anger, too. And, as you know very well, Jaime did many things of which he was not proud, and struggled to be the better man, the good and honourable man, that I knew he could be. Sometimes he teased me, sometimes I became annoyed with him, sometimes we fought. It wasn't perfect. It was better than that—it was real."

Sansa is quiet beside her, and when Brienne looks at her face she's shocked to see tears streaming silently down her face. Brienne pulls a handkerchief from her sleeve and wordlessly hands it to Sansa.

"So, you're considering taking a husband," Brienne says, looking out of the window and using a neutral tone of voice, as if she could be commenting on the weather.

[officialdeathbycinema]

Star Wars Official Trailer Analysis

OK! So i've watched...and re-watched...and rewatched...and analyzed this two and a half minute piece of cinema hypeness, and i've a few things to say if you don't mind...well, I really don't care if you do mind or not because it's 2:10 in the morning and i've been trying to bring my thoughts together on not only a trailer, but two movies as well, so fight me.

So we open to see an Imperial Officer looking silhouette staring at an assembly line. This could be Ben Solo, but for all intents and purposes, i'm going to assume this is the previously unseen "Rose" character, only officially depicted in Funko Pop! form. I'm honestly kinda interested to see what we see in this character, considering she's been so prominently featured in toy sales but no real promotional material for the movie itself (As i'm typing this however, I looked back and it really is just Ben).

Six seconds in and we transition, the change in scenery accompanied by Ces- I mean Snoke's voice over towards Ben, giving the audience a taste of what we have in store when it comes to the new Emperor-type Big Bad. We see a bunch of AT-M6 Walkers in a line for a span of three seconds, which then transitions into an overhead location shot of what i'm going to assume is Snoke's actual lair, which we see Ben and a good number of troopers walking in formation, presumably on the way to see the Supreme Leader (HA, Rocky and Bullwinkle reference!) at thirteen seconds in. Then a profile shot of Ben with his helmet on at fourteen seconds, which leads into him reaching down and picking up a new saber. This being essentially the same saber design, only sleeker, blacker, and more refined.

After that, a few seconds of black, followed by the blasting sound of a saber igniting and we see Rey on Ahch-To. We're gonna skip ahead to thirty-five seconds in, and watch Luke Skywalker take back his saber from Rey. But at thirty-eight seconds, we hear Rey say the line "Something inside me has always been there." Ok, that's a pretty cut and paste line, so i'll move on because that's probably one of the least interesting things to talk about in this trailer. Forty-one seconds into the trailer and Rey is entering the temple tree, where the books are held. Now in the first trailer we saw the insignia of the "Grey Jedi". Think of them as the agnostics of the Star Wars universe. That's obviously an oversimplification, but we can get to that topic later. Maybe when the films come out, but later. Forty-seven seconds in and she's training with a saber, and I'm really wanting to assume she's been here for a few months, and not just a week or two after the first film when this scene plays out (*cough cough, make Rey not a Mary-Sue anymore cough cough*). The force is apparently so strong with Rey that she can make the ground crack beneath her, which prompts Luke to say, in my opinion, a very interesting line.

At fifty-two seconds we hear Luke say the line: "I've seen this raw strength only once before. It didn't scare me enough then, it does now." Couple that with imagery of a building burning, more burning, and Luke's robot hand emerging from debris like he's in The Evil Dead, and people are going to assume one thing. They're going to assume that he's talking about Ben Solo. I however, do not think this is the case. Sure he underestimated Ben, but he wasn't scared of him because he was family, not because he had darkness in him. No, he's not talking about Ben, or Vader, or even Starkiller. No, I think he's talking about Sideous. Because if you remember the original trilogy, Luke was very, VERY headstrong when it came to defeating the dark side, and in turn didn't take the Emperor as a serious threat until it almost cost him his life...but now that he sees that same pure, raw power, it TERRIFIES him. But then it plays into the whole "Old man doesn't want to train young pupil for something that happened to them personally until they reluctantly give up" cliche that this series seems to want to jerk off like Ron fuckin Jeremy...but I digress. From one minute and three seconds in to one minute and eight seconds in, we hear Ben say the words "let the past die" while he subsequently DESTROYS his Darth Fanboy helmet (Which is what i'm going to be calling it from this day on forth). He could be talking about his time as an agent for the light side, or this could be a potential scene beginning a redemption arc for Ben where he tears away from his Kylo Ren persona. But then again, a redemption arc wouldn't be that fun when you can just kill the character before that happens in the slightest....or just have him evil, you know, because evil apparently isn't cool anymore, everything has to be "tragic and misunderstood"...AGAIN, I digress. Then comes a starship battle, and boy HOWDY is Ben one hell of a pilot. He says the line "Kill it, if you have to", which is in relation to the previous line of "Let the past die"...and then at one minute and fifteen seconds, we see General Leia....which basically is an "oh fuck" moment because I'm basically just calling it that she's gonna kick the bucket HARD in this movie, and the news of her playing a "pivotal role" is highly exaggerated.

One minute, seventeen seconds: Mommy senses baby through force, and vice versa...or IS IT? My whole thing about how the trailer is edited is weird, because there are some obvious weaving techniques being put in here to deceive the audience. So how I think this scene is going to play out is that Ben is ordered to destroy the Resistance base on that particular ship, which he does. But you know, since Snoke's whole thing is manipulation of Ben, and losing his mother (since it was explained in the last movie that his bond with Leia was far stronger than his bond with Han) would essentially put him in a state of darkness, making Snokes job WAY EASIER. So Snoke tells Ben "Hey, I don't like this Resistance ship. Blow it up." to which Ben replies "Alright, you've not really sent me astray before, why would you do it now? It's not like you're a manipulative dickbag that looks like a scrotum wrapped in one of Hugh Hefner's robes.". But then Snoke "fails" to mention that Leia is on that ship. She senses him, but since he's STILL not mature enough in the ways of the force (and sometimes this series throws continuity into the wind like Nana's ashes on a late summer evening), He doesn't sense her until it's too late. He doesn't sense her persay...but he senses a lack of her. He feels that classic disturbance in the force. He doesn't know why until later...and he doesn't know that he had just killed his own mother, a woman he loved so dearly, and the reason he was so conflicted about going fully dark side. But now that she's gone...Snoke can take him, and Ben is so distraught...that he listens, and fully accepts his role as not Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren.

BUT THAT'S JUST HOW I WANT THE SCENE TO GO DOWN, I DON'T THINK THE WRITERS ARE GONNA BE CLEVER ENOUGH TO DO IT THAT WAY.

One minute and thirty three seconds...Porg.

One minute, thirty seven seconds, Poe Dameron vs Ben Solo dogfight which is no doubt gonna be really cool. One minute, forty seconds, Finn vs. Brienne of Tarth in a giant Aluminum onsie...I mean Captain Phasma. Probably gonna be really cool, I just want more character growth in Finn since he had a pretty weak arc in Episode Seven (well, at least it was stronger than Rey's).

There's some more lines said by Luke which are pretty uninteresting, but at one minute and fifty-seven seconds, we see our first look at Snoke, and boy was I accurate in my description. You guys remember that scene in Deadpool where they basically just let TJ Miller riff at Ryan Reynolds for three uninterrupted minutes? Yeah, that. But my sister did raise a pretty good theory for this scene earlier, and she said that Rey might be experiencing one of Ben's memories...even though she's probably not.

Two minutes and three seconds, black screen with Rey's dialogue leading us into the most misleading part of the trailer which has the #Reylo shippers up in arms. We hear Rey say the words "I need someone to show me my place in all of this." and then we see Ben raise a hand towards the camera. Now upon first glance, we assume he's offering to take Rey under his wing...but these two shots aren't even in the same scene. The lighting is all wrong for this to be possible for one thing, two the tones of each shot are different as well. The light that is facing Rey camera left is pure, and unobstructed. She's in the temple tree on Ahch-To, presumably talking to Luke and convincing him to train her. But when the camera is on Ben, he's obviously in the tail end of a battle sequence. He COULD still be talking to Rey, but no, the line given is in a completely different scene. So no #Reylo shippers, your beloved character parallel fetish fodder is not canon yet, keep writing your fanfiction. Now that last paragraph could potentially label me as Anti-Reylo, but then again not only do I not care if I am labelled as such, I just don't care about the delicious death threats i'm BOUND to get from subsequently posting this analysis on Tumblr once i'm done posting it to Facebook.

Anyways, the credits roll three seconds after that, we're promised a film on December 15th, and the first week of tickets are probably already sold out as i'm writing this. But overall it was a decent trailer as far as analytical material goes, and I don't really think we need another since the movie is two months off.

So yeah, weeee Star Wars...I think the internet is just RUINING this new trilogy for me.

[boschlingtumbles]

White Wedding Ch 33

Robert had always wanted to be part of a stealth mission. People thought because he was big he couldn’t be stealthy. And it wasn’t true!! He just hadn’t had many opportunities to PROVE he could be stealthy, which was different. The closest he had come was back in high school, when they had rigged the school elections. Except his part in the scheme had been stupid. He’d just sat there and pretended to count votes while Beric and Stannis swapped the ballots out. So lame.

This was the real deal. He was wearing black jeans and a black sweatshirt that Stannis had somehow thought to pack for him. He’d put his camo war paint on, even though Stannis, Jaime and Thoros had all declined to join him. They were driving Beric’s Jeep to Harry‘s cache, which meant Stannis was driving while Harry gave directions from the passenger seat. (Robert wondered if Beric knew that Stannis took after his older brother when it came to car sex.)

That left him, Jaime and Thoros sitting in the back. The car went around a right turn, and recalling a moment from childhood, Robert launched himself into Jaime who then slid helplessly into Thoros, smashing him against the glass.

“Oops,” Robert sang. Thoros rubbed his head, glaring.

The car went around a left turn, and with a joyful war cry Thoros hurled himself into Jaime who then slid into Robert. Robert caught himself with a forearm before he hit the glass, only for Thoros to brace his feet against the car door and push harder.

“Nooo!” Robert shouted dramatically, as his face inched closer to his the pane.

“Nnnngh,” Thoros grunted as he twisted in his seatbelt, trying to get more leverage.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Jaime sighed, half in Robert’s lap and face shoved directly into his armpit.

“We’re here!” Harry announced cheerfully, as they pulled up to a security door that appeared to open a tunnel straight into the rocks of a cliff. He hopped out and entered the code, the door sliding noiselessly open.

“And we just drive straight in?” Stannis squinted into the darkness. Harry had insisted they drive without headlights—he didn’t know if the people tracking him (Interpol or bounty hunters) knew about this cache, and didn’t want to draw attention if they were watching it. So he’d swapped out their license plate with another car’s and they were driving in the pitch black. Stealthily.

“Yup, go slow, it’s about half a mile,” Harry answered.

Robert fairly bounced on his seat in anticipation. Harry was just the coolest! He always thought if he had been born a thousand years ago he would have been a sell sword for the Golden Company.

The oppressive blackness of the tunnel quieted what conversation there had been to find, and it was with some relief when they finally reached another door, this one clearly for people rather than cars, the white paint feebly standing out in the dark.

Harry led them over and entered another passcode, and the door opened soundlessly. Once inside, he fumbled for a light switch as the four of them huddled together. It took an agonizingly long time to find it, but then, click by click, the lights began to illuminate. Starting above them and then moving outward, a vast cavern came into view.

Renly was the one who was good with all the old movies and Stannis was the one who was good with all the old books. If Robert had to describe it, he would have said that it was maybe like the cave in Aladdin? The one with the piles of gold and jewels and those fancy carpets everywhere you stepped?

“How much does being a crime lord pay?!” Jaime Lannister breathed, and Robert was fairly sure that Jaime had never been impressed by anything in his life.

“As I said, I like my wealth mobile,” Harry smirked. “I’m going to get some of the specialty items. Bobby, you and your brother start bagging up the gold. Lannister, you take the jewels. Remember, go for the emeralds first. Thoros, load things in the car as they’re ready and if you steal anything else that belongs to me, they’ll be fishing your body out of the ocean three days from now. Are we all set?”

“So set,” Robert promised, as Thoros edged toward the exit.

Harry wanted them to be in and out in thirty minutes, which suited Robert just fine. He was hoping to get back to Orphan’s Cove in time to catch “his” duel with Edgar Yronwood. And maybe be present for rescuing his ex-girlfriend and watching her make out with Ned’s ex-girlfriend. He wondered if it had occurred to Ned that he had slept with someone who had slept with someone who had slept with Robert. Eskimo brothers!!!

As it turned out, it was kind of a long thirty minutes. Gold was really heavy. And Stannis was not helping things.

“Pivot,” Stannis was saying, as they tried to turn a particularly cumbersome duffel bag around a corner. “Pivot.”

Robert glared, and yanked the duffel bag hard. It lurched free, and Stannis staggered to avoid falling flat on his face.

“Watch it,” Jaime scolded. “Do you think Brienne would like these?” He showed them some enormous sapphire earrings.

“He’s so whipped,” Robert told Stannis once they were out of earshot.

“Kind of embarrassing,” Stannis agreed.

“But like, do you think we were supposed to get presents while we were here?”

“I mean I didn’t think so but if Lannister’s doing it...”

“Right! You don’t want to be in a situation where you’re the asshole who didn’t get something...”

Harry had been extracting certain canvases from their frames and rolling them up for ease of transport. Robert looked blankly at an old-timey portrait of a stocky black bearded nobleman. It kind of reminded him of something out of the Lannisters’ portrait gallery. The man was scowling. Robert wondered if he’d had to scowl like that the entire time the portrait was being painted. You’d think your face would hurt after a while right? Maybe the artist had been fucking his wife, but it was too late to switch artists so he’d just been stuck there staring at the guy. That’d probably be worth scowling for. 

“Robert! Stop spacing out, we’re leaving!” Jaime snapped.

The Jeep was considerably more full on the way home, due to the many duffel bags of Harry’s cache that they’d managed to cram in. 

“So I’ve wired the money to Lorch,” Harry announced after a few minutes on his phone. “Who’s getting the money to reclaim your engagement ring?”

“Beric and Thoros are driving home tomorrow morning, Stannis and Jaime are flying home tomorrow morning... I think it’s gotta be Oberyn or Mace,” Robert frowned. Technically this morning, seeing as it was 12:45.

“So Oberyn,” Stannis said from the front. Robert did not disagree.

Driving to Orphan’s Cove was actually much quicker, largely because Stannis was allowed to drive with headlights. 

And yet, as the Jeep pulled up, Robert was disappointed to see that the fight was already over. Lyanna wasn’t even making out with Ashara! She was holding the baby and talking to Ned, apart from the crowd. Arthur, Ashara, Oberyn, Mace and Beric were drinking beers on the sand, so Robert led his group over to them.

“How’d it go??” He said cheerfully.

“Well I won,” Arthur toasted him. “Congrats on your victory.”

“And Lyanna was okay?”

“Oh she was fine. She’d been mounting escape attempts all day, but the Yronwood estate is on a cliff of like sheer rock. They kept finding her and dragging it back. Honestly I think Edgar was relieved to be rid of her,” Oberyn laughed.

“Well what about the fight?” Robert asked hopefully. “Was it cool? Did you get it on video?”

“I tried,” Ashara pouted and handed him her phone.

“It’s so dark!” Robert frowned. “You can barely make out what’s going on! How did Arthur and Yronwood even see what they were doing?!”

“Well hold on, it gets a little better once Beric walks over,” Ashara said. “He used one of Yronwood’s spares and lit in on fire. Did you know that mace is flammable? He just coated the blade and the whoosh! We could sort of tell what was happening.”

“Wait...” Thoros abruptly joined the conversation. “He DID WHAT?!”

“It’s not what it sounds like,” Beric winced. 

“YOU MADE A FIRE SWORD WITHOUT ME?!”

“Oh wow, yeah that’s a lot better,” Robert studied the screen. He handed it back to Ashara. He still thought it would have been more exciting if more people had died. That was stupid first blood duels for you. Speaking of which...

“Where’s Yronwood?” Robert asked. He was a little surprised the guy hadn’t hung around. Had a beer or something.

“Oh, he got some alert to his phone about his underground vault being accessed, he just wanted to go check it out.”

“Ah,” Harry Strickland said, abruptly joining the conversation. “In that case, I think everybody who came with me should leave now.”

“We’ve got like ten minutes, I want to hear about your new girlfriend,” Robert protested, winking at Ashara. She rolled her eyes. Funny, that had been Lyanna’s typical reaction. Awwww maybe they were soulmates!

“Right,” Harry nodded. “Completely understandable. But the thing is, that cache we just visited?”

“Visited stealthily,” Robert added proudly.

“Quite right, very stealthily. Only maybe not quite stealthily enough, since Yronwood got that notification.”

“Wait,” Jaime butted in. “Are you saying we BURGLED Yronwood?!”

“Well no, technically only I burgled him, because the rest of you didn’t know what you were doing. I remember thinking you should have spent more time listening to your friend Beric’s explanation, but of course at the time I didn’t know you very well so I didn’t want to say anything—“

“You said it was your cache!” Thoros blurted. “You said you’d kill me if I took any of your stuff!”

“Listen chaps, I’m sorry you feel misled, but I’ve already wired Lorch and Oberyn your share. Also you know, I feel like I’ve given you very few reasons to think I’m a trustworthy person. So perhaps you’ve all learned a valuable lesson in judging a man’s character? Now if you’ll just help me move everything on to the beach,” Harry produced his gun and waved it at them and then to the trunk of Beric’s car, “this is where we part ways.”

Wait a minute...

“Does this mean you can’t come to my wedding?!” Robert blurted.

There was the sound of a motorboat approaching, and a very familiar figure woman standing at the helm.

“Captain Sara!” Oberyn exclaimed delightedly.

“I’m terribly sorry, Bobby, you know I would have loved to have made it,” Harry hugged him, the gun digging in to his ribs uncomfortably.

“As I said, everybody who helped me should really be leaving now,” Harry called to the others.

“Well I guess Beric can drive Thoros and Jaime back to Oldtown in his Jeep, and Ned and I can drop off Stannis in King’s Landing on the way to Riverrun?” Robert puzzled it out.

“Don’t forget Jon,” Lyanna kissed her baby on the forehead before she handed him to Ned, wiping away a tear.

“It’s only for a few months until the heat dies down,” Ashara wrapped her arms around Lyanna from behind. 

“I suppose I can give you and Mace a lift,” Arthur was saying to Oberyn. 

“It’ll be so cramped with Ashara and Lyanna as well, you take Mace and I’ll find my own way back,” Oberyn winked, moving toward the boat.

“So what, you’re saying that it’s too dangerous for me to do it but the moment my back is turned you’ll go off and do it yourself?!” Thoros was grumbling at Beric.

“Am I going to have to listen to this all the way back to Oldtown?” Jaime groaned.

“Probably,” Beric sighed.

Robert inhaled deeply, savoring the smell of sea air, the sounds of his friends arguing and laughing together, the starry sky above them. Then he looked down and his gaze fell on the 1962 Rhoynish Dragon.

“Cute kid,” he commented off-handed to Lyanna Stark.

“Congratulations on the wedding, it’s been all over the papers down here,” Lyanna smiled. 

“You better take care of her,” Robert told Ashara. “She’s my favorite ex-girlfriend.”

“I’ll try,” Ashara laughed, and Lyanna spun in her arms and kissed her.

Hot. So fucking hot.

“C’mon Neddy,” Robert dragged Ned away from them, as he was looking slightly ill. “We’ve got a family brunch to get to.”

They got in, Ned checked that the car seat was properly secure, and began to pull out.

“I can’t help but feel like we’re missing something,” Ned frowned. Robert blinked.

“Oh shit, Stannis!”

Five minutes later, once they had wrestled Stannis’ enormous suitcase into the not very large trunk of the Dragon, they were ready. Robert pressed down the accelerator and the car lurched forward with a roar. Such speed! Such power! It felt like flying.

They were already out of Sunspear, heading north on the interstate, Stannis and Jon sound asleep in the back, when Ned looked over.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Sorry?” Robert frowned. “Sorry about what?”

“Your whole stag party got ruined! Mace drugged us, Oberyn got us in all sorts of trouble, Jaime got kidnapped, my sister got kidnapped AND left her baby with us, you got blackmailed, we lost the ring... nothing went right at all!”

Robert laughed.

“I had a stag party in a palace in Dorne! We solved mysteries, I won a fight against ARTHUR DAYNE, I went to a hostage negotiation, tracked down a blackmailer, participated in a heist, and kind of sort of won a duel! Your hot sister is banging your smoking hot ex and they kissed right in front of me! I’m driving a Dragon! There’s only three left in the entire world! You’re going to be telling Jon about this some day, how he rode in a Dragon!”

“Wait, you’re saying...”

Robert tipped back his head.

“BEST! STAG! EVER!!!!!”

“I’m glad somebody’s happy,” Ned chuckled. “I’m fairly concerned about my father’s reaction when I show up with my sister’s love child. Let alone Hoster Tully’s.”

“More heat off you, right? Did Lyanna get into it at all?”

“Just that he was an abusive prick who threatened to fight her for custody when she tried to leave. Lyanna,” Ned sighed and rubbed his face. “She hasn’t always made the best choices but she deserves a lot better than some of the shit that’s happened to her, you know?”

“Yeah I get it,” Robert admitted. “But she has Ashara now. They seem pretty happy. Maybe this is when things start going her way.”

“I hope so,” Ned yawned. “Gods, I hope so.”

“Don’t you fall asleep on me,” Robert warned. “It sucks being the driver when everyone else is asleep.”

“Ugh you’re right. Okay, I know you think it was the best stag ever—“

“Because IT WAS!”

“—but if you could have done one more thing, what would you have wanted to do?” 

Robert thought for a minute.

“I would have wanted someone to get photos at the strip club!”

Ned laughed.

“Be serious!”

“I am serious! It was my last chance to drool over other women, and I don’t remember any of it!”

“Well I didn’t want to say anything, but Stannis leant me this extra phone battery he brought for me? And my phone is up and working again,” Ned began.

“Wait... are you saying...”

“There appear to be a lot of photos from the strip club,” Ned confirmed drily. “Honestly, at some point we should look at them all ONE TIME and then delete everything.”

“Why would we delete them?! If you have a photo of Mace getting his ass tattooed, I want it framed!”

They joked and talked, and the miles vanished under the Dragon, but try as he might, Ned finally drifted off to sleep. 

That was okay though, Robert thought, watching the sun break over the marches. It was nice to have some time to think too. 

Mace and Oberyn had both been kind of bummed that he was getting married, but he knew that the next adventure would be even better than this one. And he’d probably be able to remember a whole lot more of it. He hoped he’d be a good dad, but nine tenths of that was just showing up for the job right? Even Mace seemed like he was a pretty good dad, and that guy had never been able to do anything right. 

He was pretty sure he could figure it out, and if he didn’t, well Cersei would just tell him what to do.

Daydreaming about cuddling Cersei, finally getting to meet their little biscuit, Robert nearly missed the turn for King’s Landing. 

“Hey, wake up,” he shook Stannis gently. Stannis cracked an eye.

“End of the road. You okay getting the bus home? Give my love to Mel.”

“Wait bus?” Stannis blinked sleepily as he clambered out of the car.

“Yup,” Robert got his bag free with a grunt of effort. “The bus stop is just up that hill. Sorry buddy, I’ve gotta get Ned to this thing on time, I can’t drive you any further.”

“Hill?” Stannis’ face fell as he looked at his enormous suitcase and back at the hill.

“Oh it looks like you lost the wheel on that thing, by the way, you should get it replaced!” Robert waved and got back in the car.

Okay, half an hour to go, and they were about forty-five miles away. Robert cracked his knuckles.

He pulled back out onto the main highway and merged with the other cars. He’d thought he was a good wingman before, but wow, he was on fire.

He glared at a car that had cut him off. Asshole. Didn’t that guy know he had somewhere to be? It was a Riverlands plate too. Actually... Robert rubbed his eyes as he pulled into the lane next to it. That was Hoster Tully’s car!!!

“Ned,” he prodded his friend awake.

“Mmm?” Ned responded sleepily.

“Here, take the wheel for a second,” Robert tugged his arm onto it.

“Wait what?!” Ned protested, frantically trying to sit upright so he could see over the dashboard.

Robert rolled down his window and started frantically unbuckling his belt.

“What are you doing?!” Ned yelped. “You can’t piss out the window!”

“That’s not what I’m doing and false, I totally can, I do it all the time,” Robert grinned, pulling down his pants. “Now hold us steady.”

He slammed on the accelerator and twisted to hang his ass out the window. To top it off, he gave a loud three honks on the horn.

There was a responding honk and Robert withdrew, guffawing to see in the rear view mirror that the car had pulled over.

“Who did you just moon?!” Ned hissed.

“Awwww don’t worry about it,” Robert ruffled his hair. “It’s not like anybody recognizes us in this car anyway.”