#so despite all the people at my church who know i'm non-cis/het being totally fine with it and supportive of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jimkirkachu · 1 year

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thought I had finally found a group of people I almost fit in with/could be myself with (an lgbtqia+ discord that's actually all local people) but after a month and a half of feeling okay and accepted for the first time in... idk how long, I ruined everything for myself by being "out" as a Christian, which apparently makes me The Enemy

#not trek #alone again‚ naturally #jtkchu's landing party #spent six weeks getting to know people and trying to muster the courage to go to one of their monthly meet-ups #but big surprise it turns out i'm not wanted after all 👍#guess i'm glad i found out before i ruined anyone's lives in person for once #i was told there is no such thing as a 'real Christian' because we have all bastardized Christ's teachings and are all evil #and that there is no such thing as an lgbtq+ Christian (even though that's... precisely what i thought i was)#and any Christian who claims to support lgbtq+ folks 'should rename themselves' because of extremist bigots spreading hate in Christ's name #so despite all the people at my church who know i'm non-cis/het being totally fine with it and supportive of me #generally speaking it seems i'm too non-cis/het for most Christians‚ and too Christian for most non-cis/hets #good to know that there is still nowhere i can be my full self #complaining #never belonging #back into the chamber turning‚ at least for now i guess #forever alone #soul sick #exhausted #no spoons #sorry for being depressing #tw religion #tw gender #what is it like having a friend group?#yes i am fully aware that this is all my own fault for having aligned myself with the oppressors #i just still don't understand how to 'do enough to stop these people & solidify love' and 'get rid of the bigots in [our] ranks'#it's not as though i have the power to kick extremist bigots out of the church. and i'm not going to assault people in the parking lot #i don't know what to do anymore (not that i ever did)#jtkchu's brain #personal log #stfu jtkchu

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