#so dib is aware that the pak IS zim but it's also like... half of zim.

[mrehkka]

Read from the top-down, not side to side:

Left strip: the pak is rewarding Dib for taking care of its host 😌

Middle: pak is touched to learn that much love is stored in the Dib 🥺 (Dib views the pak as zim-adjacent and he's not wrong)

Right: that scene from the comics where Dib is begging Zim for poop cola. With blank thought bubbles neither want to actually say, for you to fill in your own blank. I just thought it would be funny if Zim was being a lover boy and the pak is like "NO! Keep it SMALL!" But Dib is ALSO being a little lover boy 😌

[ruffylorpship]

Introduction: Unfortunate Partners in Life

Right, I made the introduction chapter for this AU I created called Mindshare and I haven’t written anything in so long! I’ll definitely be expanding on this but for now, everything will be its own story with a slice of their life over the years.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007967

I hope this can grow into something bigger once I get everything down. Gah I wish I had more time ;.; Hope you guys enjoy it! For people who don’t want to go to AO3 I’ll post the introduction under the cut~

Awareness seeped into his brain. He had finally awakened.

Systems were running as they were supposed to. All knowledge pertaining to the Armada’s history and the current objective was loaded. The file given designated him as a science drone to assist in building technology for the upcoming invasion titled Impending Doom. Red errors popped up in his mind’s eye, but he cast them aside, knowing that starting up always smooths out later. He identified himself as the Irken Zim, ready to serve the Empire and the Almighty Tallest. Zim wanted to make sure he was fully functional and ready for duty, so he took his time to run a diagnostic on his pak. Surely his leaders would want him at full-functioning capacity, and he would not let them down during his first moments of existing.

More warnings were popping up, irritating Zim and causing him to dismiss them all in a rush. He had to hurry and open his optics. The world would not wait for him forever to complete his own internal mission and join the rest in glory.

Muffled voices broke through the fog before the world was abruptly ripped away from him. He screamed to himself in the darkness of his brain, not understanding what had gone wrong. Any attempt to send a distress signal from the pak commands were unresponsive, causing his mind to retreat further into the machinery. For a short while, he could feel the cool metal floor of his smeetery chamber and hear the voices of those that would prepare him for the future. For a little bit, Zim had felt complete. Now, in this prison that housed his consciousness, he didn’t know what to do.

XXX

Maybe the armada was testing him? That could have been the answer. The mighty Zim wasn’t going to be decommissioned before proving his own worth! He would wait patiently for them to replug him back into his body and show his Tallest how functional he was. There were a few alerts about intense environmental conditions from the outside, but that was nothing to worry about. The pak was the finest technology in all of Irk. Zim would be safe unt-

XXX

Screaming. A horrible pitiful wail tore through the air. Something was terribly wrong. Only one optic nerve seemed to be working. He breathed in a gasp and paused, realizing something else wasn’t making sense. He was taking in air despite irkens not having to truly breathe. The only conclusion he could come up with was that his pak had latched onto the closest object to reawaken itself, which in this case was another life form. His pak must have gotten lost in space and landed on a distant planet.

Usually, this would be a downgrade from his superior self, but Zim saw this as a perfect opportunity to get back to his body using this borrowed vessel. If he was attached to something that was not his own irken flesh, the creature he was stuck to would eventually die off and give him complete control. Strangely, the repair protocols were being activated, feeding themselves into the life-form and repairing strange damage that couldn’t be properly identified. The energy needed being too great caused Zim to fall back into a dormant state.

XXX

Eyes blinked open, but everything seemed to be slightly blurred. Against the odds, the creature he was attached to was still alive if not a little broken. It seemed to have it’s own mind intact as well. Impressive for a less superior species. Zim could feel the weight of its presence clinging to him like a filthy growth. The mind was not inside his pak, for only one could be encoded to the machine and was binding for life. With no defenses inhabiting the organic squishy brain of the other organic Zim took a chance and pushed through to take control once more, also hoping the other mind would disappear forever. The brightness swam through eyes not his own. A giant stinky monster in some sort of clothing hovered over him, as tall as the Almighty Tallest and draped in white cloth. His eyes were covered by protective gear and his giant gloved hands reached down to pick Zim up, making him realize the host he was attached to was extremely small.

‘Warm...’ Zim thought in awe as he was able to feel for the first time since he had been plugged in. An echo of the same thought came back.

“Why hello there son! My my, you gave the boys and I such a big scare. Turns out that the device is keeping you nice and stable. No more termination for you today.”

‘Termination? Death? How dare this creature try and dispose of me! It will suffer the wrath of Zim!’

With as much power as he could Zim waved his clawless hand in front of the giant face and hissed menacingly. His strength tired out quickly however and he seemed to be pushed back into the background once again, aware that the vessel he housed had started crying again.

“Uhh sir? Why was your child hissing?”

“Oh, it’s probably nothing. He just recovered from a traumatic experience of near-death after all. There there little Dib, no more crying for tonight.” The creature cooed while attempting to rock the crying alien smeet.

‘Shut your whining you worm creature, your yelling is worse than the sqorchmurfs of planet Brakiclax!’

It cried harder as if to defy him. Oh, the creature would pay dearly when he gets control back. He could feel the pain and confusion seeping through the mental connection, creating a small barrage of half baked thoughts that could barely count as actual words or images.

It was literally a primitive smeet without knowledge or understanding. The blankest slate in the universe. Just great… The pain of the creature's emotions was getting progressively worse, causing Zim to try and console the little creature in hopes of getting it to finally quiet.

‘Um... there there little Dib-thing? Shut up so the big monster will put us down!’

Funny enough, the creature now tagged in his database as 'The Dib' stopped its crying and changed his tone to a soft whimper. After he was hooked back up to the medical equipment for monitoring and the giant creatures left, Zim made sure his host was unconscious again before extending a wire from his pak to plug into the mainframe. He had some learning to do.

XXX

Zim tried piloting the tiny legs towards the machine, already imagining many ways to blow up the miserable planet. He discovered the rock was called Earth. It’s natives called ‘humans’ dominated the land with their stink and filth. He figured his pak must have accidentally been misplaced and jettisoned into space, eventually making his way to the far uncharted planet. Even though the earth was not marked for conquering in his database he decided he would take it over and present it as an offering to his Tallest. Even though he was supposed to be a science drone hopefully doing this for his leaders would give him a promotion of joining the Invaders in conquest.

He had overheard with his overly large borrowed ears that the latest machinery the parental unit had created could potentially plunge the world into darkness. Taking over the power would surely ensure that control would be handed to Zim! This would be easier if he waited for the body he was borrowing to grow out of smeethood but there was no time to lose.

The door was big, but nothing his pak legs couldn’t fix. Making sure to not make a sound he crept into the room and prepared to take out the scientists that were hard at work in the lab. Before he could reactivate his legs to engage in attack mode the smeet woke up and started fighting his mind. Not expecting much resistance, Zim prepared his attack again only to have his body sit back down on the cold floor and cross his arms in protest.

‘Give me back control you useless stinky smeet!’

‘No!’

An unexpected reply making him pause in his efforts. The thing had barely been cognitive for weeks. The only exposer it had to the outside world was through the giant humans and through himself… wait…

‘Have you been leaching from me? You’ve been looking at the same resources I have and gathering intel from the mighty ZIM!?’

‘No…’

Well it certainly had a one-track mind, expected of a primitive life form, but ultimately a hindrance.

‘Give me back control and shut down into a sleep cycle for the night you waste of space!’

‘No no no no no no bad no!’

The ultimate temper tantrum resulted in the body rolling along the floor like a sad fleshy ball, which is how the scientists found the smeet later in the night. The pitiful worm-baby had won this round for now.

XXX

“No school! Please no school! Noooo!”

Dib cried as he pulled harder from his father’s gloved grip. He had to pretend to be as smart as a normal kid so his dad wouldn’t try and force him into science bonding time. Dib prefered the quiet life of searching the internet for new things to learn. He didn’t need to be near other people so they could make fun of his life support and his silly hair. Sadly his dad didn’t really seem to agree with him sitting in his room all day.

“Now now Dib, you need room to grow and evolve. While your sister is sleeping I need you to unpack the books I got you so you can learn responsibility. I swear the only words you like to say since you’ve started talking are ‘no’ and ‘alien’ and both words are ridiculous in this household. Now hurry up, I have a science demonstration to attend to.”

With that his dad let go of his arm and hurried downstairs, leaving Dib to sulk on his bed. At five years old Dib Membrane had learned a lot about the world. Some of his teachings were through his father when he wasn’t busy. The internet was full of information, especially about strange and unexplained mysteries of the world that science had no real answers for. The last source was a bit more… unreliable and tended to be bad most of the time.

‘Your parental unit is so bossy…’ His inner voice grumbled as Dib started packing up the books into his arm bag. The life support made it impossible to use a normal backpack.

“You mean Dad?"

‘Yes! That’s what I said filthy worm-child!’

Dib rolled his eyes at the comment, noticing at the top left his glasses had a smudge. Another reason he didn’t want to go to school. The internet said people tended to have eye problems later in their life, while he had the luck to need them very early.

“You use big words a lot. Why are you so smart when I’m not?”

‘Ehh…That’s because… I was created with knowledge already programmed. Despite your fast learning capabilities, humans are born with blank slates and squishy matter that need stuff like time and repetition.’

That caused Dib to pause and scratch his head in confusion from the big words being thrown around, making a note to research them later on the internet. He already had a book filled with words the voice tended to throw around, making him want to understand.

“Aren’t you human?”

‘Yes yes! I am definitely a fully functioning monkey-child! I mean I am you but more superior with my technological upgrades… LEAVE ME ALONE!’

The volume inside his head caused him to wince, even though he knew it wasn’t real. It was strange. People don’t usually develop voices in their heads. Maybe the voice was part of his imagination, like an imaginary friend that also worked as a duel personality. He was smarter than most people his age, he knew that fact because his dad’s lab assistants always told him, but he was also a bit strange.

He stopped at the door, with his bag safely hanging from his right arm, hands pressed together in nervousness.

“I’m scared everyone is going to make fun of me. I’m too different. Why can’t I stay home? I learn enough on my own.”

He really didn’t expect the voice to reply back, but surprisingly it did with a bit of hesitation in its voice.

‘Despite how much I’d rather stay within the close confines of accessible technology, I agree with your parental unit when he says you need to grow and evolve. With height comes power, and with knowledge comes privilege to achieve what you must do. Don’t let those smelly man creatures be the boss of you. Beside’s, gathering intel from this wasteland of a planet will be beneficial for upcoming invas- I mean challenges.’

“You’re using too many big words again, but I feel a bit better. I want to find a real monster someday, and I need to learn about the world to get there. I know that much, I think? So…thanks voice. Or uhh… imaginary friend? I don’t really know what to call you. Maybe I should name you?”

‘I am no pet smeetling! You may address me as the Almighty Superior Leader Ruler Overlord and Master Zim!’

With one last roll of his eyes, Dib pushed the door open and made his way downstairs to meet his fate.

“Right, thanks Zim.”

[tempest-archived]

(( my zim makes friends. but he doesn’t like it.

he makes these connections without even thinking about it. he’s so dissociated from these kinds of emotions half the time that he doesnt realize thats what he feels until its so intense he can’t handle it. and even when he is aware of these feelings, he literally forces himself to not acknowledge it. in any way he can. in the same way he deludes and lies to himself about everything else that threatens him emotionally.

zim is a creature who loves and needs to be loved. hell, his first words were 'i love you'. he craves unconditional love and affection and acceptance and validation. but the irken world is a cold and cruel one. and zim essentially had to shut down and repress those parts of himself to survive in every sense. certain things get you killed, and when they dont get you killed, they get you rejected. this was even more a case for my zim with his namesake and all. but that’s a whole other thing.

zim is horrible at making friends and keeping them. hes lack of self awareness is all self inflicted, but his core is aware of his needs, and yearns to fulfill them. he may make an ass of himself but he gets so attached to people in this conditional backwards way in order to avoid pain from all directions. he ‘cant understand’ certain feelings and emotions he used to feel so innocently as a child because theyve caused him nothing but pain and he was forced to reject them. its really the same energy as ‘sounds fake, but okay.’ 

his reality is so fragile and hes completely shut down in so many ways from the traumas hes endured. he could do nothing but delete memories and literally drive himself nearly to insanity to bypass his own defective system. he has to think about things a certain way, delude himself into thinking this/that is his truth/reality. not only to avoid the emotional pain, but because otherwise, his defective PAK will cause him physical pain for having feelings that dont serve the hive or his purpose. 

because he isn’t supposed to need or want these things, especially from beings he’s supposed to destroy. so he has to go about things counter productively. he has to twist his logic and his world views. he has to not Make Sense sometimes in order for him to have his needs met, to do what he wants to do without being in pain. its why he comes to fuck up so often. and it really doesnt always work.

to use one of his current relationships as an example, maranda is someone zim loves very much. he hated her at first, because she was the first catalyst for dib not needing to concern himself with zim for validation anymore. but she wasnt just there for dib, she was there for HIM. even more so, in fact, for reasons im not going to get into here. shes someone who has only tried to know him and understand him. outside of his invader persona. and accept all of him.

this wasnt an easy thing to understand for zim. he was afraid. he was confused and angry and in pain. because after years and years of burying the part of yourself that can love and empathize... after years of being systematically abused, how the fuck do you know whats real? how do you let yourself understand and feel this way again? how do you cope? are you safe? how do you know theyre not trying to hurt you?

and hes not safe. hes never been emotionally or physically safe. and when on earth, its largely in part to him having a defective, brainwashing super-computer stapled to him.

but mar was patient with him. she never forced him to be anything he wasnt, anything she knew wasnt already inherently within him. she only had to nurture the ‘friend’ in him until it took strong roots again. break down the walls slowly. but that didnt stop him from being conflicted. if anything, him realizing his feelings only made things more complicated.

how much he cared about her. how much he wanted to protect her. how much he appreciated and understood her. how much he needed her. how much she cared about him. how she wanted to be his friend.... but he couldn’t give her his friendship. because she’s human. and he has to destroy her. hes only going to hurt her. this is only going to hurt them both. he can’t get get any more attached and neither can she. which lead to a whole lot of lashing out and self-isolating on zim’s part.

but even then, and through everything that’s changed, she’s been the one thing that remained constant. and at a certain point, she becomes the only person the broken irken can dare to hold any faith in any more. he comes to trust in her more than anyone else. zim would literally die for her. he knows he shouldnt (shes expressed what what could do to the timeline) but he would.

honestly, this conflicted, backwards loving nature of his becomes even more of a case with his relationship with Dib. but i used Mar because zims relationship with her is unique compared to even the other ‘positive’ relationships hes had before. also cause if i used Dib, this post would be a whole lot longer,,,, ))