#so glad to be home so I can finally draw write and AMV again ^_^

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Astro Boy poster based on the Urasawa's Monster one

[oveliagirlhaditright]

So... I’m a few days late for this, and I apologize. I was busy making birthday presents for the best friend and lost track of time.

And if people can’t use this because it’s late, they of course don’t have to. But...

This is what KH means to me... My thank you to the KH team...

I would have loved to write something for them, but I don’t know if they’d be big on getting fanfiction for their own work. I also could have done a digital manipulation or gmv for them... But IDK. Maybe them getting their own work back to them in a fan-edited way wouldn’t seem good at all? Because you didn’t do most of the work there. They did. You just edited it. And maybe you even edited in a way they wouldn’t approve of, and they see your work as copyright infringement?

So that leaves drawing, but I’m not the best drawer yet...

So screw it. I’m just going to write an essay about what this series has meant to me, the last seventeen years.

(Warning. This will be long. And probably emotional.)

Where do I even begin... I discovered this series when I was nine-years-old, right after the first game had come out. And seeing the advertisements for it on Disney channel made me want to have it so very badly.

I actually didn’t have a PS2 at the time... And while my sister and I did want other games alongside KH, yes, it was mainly for KH that we wanted a Playstation 2... So we begged our parents for one for Christmas, and they were gracious enough to get us one and quite a few games... and, of course, Kingdom Hearts with them.

We actually didn’t start with that one, though (even though I wanted to). My sister wanted to somewhat save the best for last, I guess... And when we did finally end up playing it, I had actually caught a bit of a cold (and it was only the promise that we’d finally play Kingdom Hearts, that day that got me to game. Even though I had been every day before, and had enjoyed all the other games--don’t get me wrong--but I was feeling that crappy, and it took the incentive of Kingdom Hearts to get me to agree).

And to say that I fell in love with it from the get-go would be an understatement. The opening cinematic pulled me in, it’s true (and already, I could tell this was different from the other games based on movies that I’d played), but it was mainly the Dive to the Heart section that really captured me (and made me forget my illness). That atmosphere still gives me chills and wonder, and calls me back to give it a go again years and years later. And I’m glad something like it has been included in games since, like in KHII, KHIII, Re:Coded, and what have you.

I was nine... So I stumbled my way through a lot of this game--and I mean stumbled--I had no idea what I was doing most of the time. In the fights, a lot of the ways I’d let Donald and Goofy do all of the work... and it took me a whole month to find Maleficent in Hollow Bastion. But I did end up beating the game, and understanding all of it.

I also ended up getting deep thoughts about it--as it is a mystery series that leaves you thinking--and I know I used to annoy people by talking about it. Haha. But this series got me thinking in a way that nothing else had... And that I honestly don’t know if most other kids my age could have... at least without something like this in their lives.

At this point, the series owned my soul. It touched me more than any other piece of media ever had, and ever will--and I’d had plenty pieces of media I really liked back then, such as Sailor Moon and yet they didn’t even come close. And while I’d shipped other couples before, such as Usagi and Mamoru from Sailor Moon, Sora and Kairi was the first one where I really felt like “These two have to be together”--and my life became about waiting for the next game (it still very much is, as sad as that might be to say).

I remember I would go to the store, and often times ask people who worked in the game section if they knew anything about a Kingdom Hearts II (this was before I had the Internet), and I recall being really sad one time when one of the workers told me maybe there never would be. LOL And to be clear, this was the time even before Chain of Memories.

Eventually, I saw Chain of Memories advertised on Cartoon Network and then begged my parents for a Game Boy Advance, so I could play this sequel. And for the Christmas that year, they complied as well (gosh, I have the best parents in the world). But I was saddened when I realized I couldn’t really play it with my sister (and her best friend) who I’d played the first game with. So my sister just told me to play it, and then tell her everything that happened. Which I did... With notes, and everything. Oh, yeah. I kept notes on KHI, CoM, and KHII, I think. I was that level of crazy (in a good way!).

Around this time, I was also subscribed to Disney magazines... And when I eventually got one that had Kingdom Hearts II in it: the one that revealed Sora’s new outfit as Beast’s Castle as a world--the first I’d ever heard of it, and the first I realized that Chain of Memories wasn’t the “true sequel” (as much as I did like Chain of Memories, I was glad to hear this. And even moreso that it was coming back to consoles, so I could experience it with my sister and her best friend again), I legitimately screamed so loud, you don’t even know. It’s a good thing I was home alone that day... And screaming about anything Kingdom Hearts related has pretty much become a trend of mine. Oops.

...So then I ended up pre-ordering Kingdom Hearts II from GameStop, with all of the cool things that came with that (like the special edition strategy guide that had four different covers, based on Sora’s Drive Forms. I have the Valor/Brave Form one), and I asked my mom to pick it up for me while I was at school so I could come home the day it came out and immediately start playing it. It came out near the beginning of that year’s spring break, and I beat the whole game in that time... You couldn’t have pulled me away from my Playstation 2 that break if you had tried. 

I also know that I tried out for my school’s show choir the time that Kingdom Hearts II had just come out... Something I really should have cared about, but I didn’t as much as I could’ve... And while my mom had gotten busy talking to someone, waiting for me to come back from my audition, when I got back and she was still talking to them... I sort of wanted her to hurry along, so I could get back to my game... Something I think my mom even admitted to that person (but in as nice a way as possible)... Oh my gosh.

I also know that one day, I was thinking about KHII in class--I’d left off on the half-way mark of the game, with the 1000 Heartless battle and all that--so it was heavy on my mind... Our teacher was asking us about our weekends, and someone else in class started talking about how they started playing Kingdom Hearts II, and I gasped loudly--to which everyone stared--and I said that I had the game, too, and loved it... My teacher then said that was the most emotion they’d ever gotten out of me.

Ahahahahaha. I have many other embarrassing stories that I could admit with this series--particularly with KHII, and I have on past accounts--but you know what? I’m going to save myself some humiliation and keep them to myself.

But KH... It means the world to me. How can it not? It’s been a constant joy in my life for so many years: That’s been with me through just a little before my double-digit years, all of my teens, and into my adulthood.

I’ve made many friends through this series, too, either by convincing my friends to give it a try or making friends with people I know love the saga.

It’s a constant light for me, and always has been, that reminds me of my childhood (for so many reasons. The Disney for sure being one of them) and simpler times: And that there always is a light at the end of the tunnel... 

In fact, the KH characters even feel like friends I’ve had for a long time--that I can always count on--and who I’m always happy to see.

And even now, that feeling hasn’t faded away (it probably never will). Since the way I reacted to KHIII, is pretty much the way I did KHII: Even fourteen years later, and as an adult now.

Kingdom Hearts even introduced me to all the things I love. I found YouTube--after I finally got Internet--when a friend told me I could watch the Kingdom Hearts II secret ending there, as I hadn’t unlocked it myself (and since I had doubts in myself as a gamer back then, I wasn’t sure that I could. Even though I had unlocked the one for the first game. And did eventually do so for the second game... and all of them, except for KHIIFM so far). And YouTube, amvs (a lot of them for KH) is how I found my love for video editing.

And moreover, I’m a writer. And it was in Googling stuff about Sora and Kairi that I eventually discovered fanfiction (that I actually, stupidly, thought was official stuff by the actual writers at first, because I found fanfiction on sites that weren’t called that), and through that started it myself and honed my writing skills. My writing style is probably even inspired by KH, in a lot of ways--like how I handle mystery and when I deliver information to the reader, and all.

KH also did simpler things, like getting me into other Square Enix games (Final Fantasy, The World Ends With You, Bravely Default), and gaming in general.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today without Kingdom Hearts, and that’s just the facts.

I’ve even bonded over it with my dad. My dad doesn’t know the series at all, God bless him, but he’s always willing to talk to me about it and ask me questions since he knows I love it so much. He always asks me when the next game’s coming out. Or if he knows one’s coming out, he’s aware of how happy that must have made me... Or if I’m playing it around him, and he hears a long song begin to play, he knows I must have beaten it. He also went to the Kingdom Hearts Orchestra with me:D

My mom also knows the series through me. A bit more than my dad, since she used to come up and watch us play it some (my dad also did a few times). But I felt it’s more fitting to mention my dad here, since he actually knows it less... And still admirably does this stuff, and is still this in the know about how much it means to me.

...I’ve admitted this before (like in an official survey to Square Enix)--even though I don’t like to, for obvious and personal reasons (and this is for sure something my parents don’t know and never should)--that in really rare, dark times of mine... Kingdom Hearts has saved me from suicide: Those times that I struggle with depression, and felt like I really had nothing else to live for... And yet wanting to be alive to finally see the end of Sora's story, drove me to give life another chance.

And I don’t really think I can say much more than that, or go deeper, to express just what this franchise is to me.

So Kingdom Hearts team... from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything.

[ismiseben]

Vancouver, July 7th 2019

So I wanted to just make a blog post to pretty much vomit my thoughts out. I’m gonna write about how I’m feeling so far on this trip and what my hopes are for the near future, and also some stuff I’m excited about in the near future and when I leave Vancouver.

It’s been a cool experience so far, the flights all went well, I watched Winter Soldier on the way over (great movie) and pretty much slept from Toronto to Vancouver, but it was a pretty rough flight. Body started to really feel exhausted and the sleep wasn’t a peaceful one. Nonetheless, landed in Vancouver with all my stuff so I can’t complain.

Waited on Stu for a bit, got the SkyTrain and walked to the Cambie. We stayed there for a few days while we tried to find somewhere to live for the summer. Pretty stressful but we found a place with a lease starting July 1st. We stayed in Kristof’s place until then, and it was actually okay. Living out of the suitcase wasn’t though.

Walmart is so cool, I think it’s mainly because of the different food over here like Cinnamon toast crunch and Twizzlers etc. We went to Stanley Park, it was pretty cool. Really pretty place. Great views. We also checked out the drumming circle on the beach. Incredible sunset and a really chilled vibe, but wow so many Irish people (not ideal). Still a cool experience though.

By now, we’ve walked all over Downtown and sometimes I like to just glance at my surroundings, the buildings are so tall. It’s a really amazing place to just be in. The transport is awesome too, the Skytrain is just so ideal.

Pre-ordered Fire Emblem: Three Houses because I’m too excited for that to wait until late August.

We’re pretty settled now and currently just looking for a job, I’ll be starting a gym routine again tomorrow which is good too. We haven’t done too much sightseeing yet, but that’s mainly down to us wanting to get into this new place and finally settle. Kai will be here in a couple days and we might as well wait for him before doing our sightseeing. 

We’ve gone on a few nights out too, Cambie, Celebrities, Republic and Donnellans. The two latter were pretty garbage. Met a girl in Celebs though and had some fun. Also went to Kits beach, the logs were cool. Such a chill vibe. Also those cars you can just drive on the side of the road and leave wherever, so handy. I rly need to get my license.

Canadian accent is so attractive too, like so much better than an Irish one. 

It was pretty sunny for a while but the past week or so has been rainy/overcast. Which I don’t mind honestly.

The place we’re in, Kerrisdale, is good. It’s not perfect but it’ll do. And it’s affordable so we’re kinda happy out really.

The lads are going to Bundoran again - like why? Really glad I’m not there, it’s a carbon copy of last summer. So I’m honestly just so glad to be in a different environment. Everyday doesn’t have to be jam packed with activities, not at all. It’s just the fact I’m in a new place, with so much things to do, and just to experience a new country and way of life.

Like I’m in Canada right now, but it feels like I’m at home. It’s really not much different to Ireland.

Found a cool little Manga store on Granville, literally could just stand in there for hours looking at stuff. So cool. I wanna start writing.

Also celebrated Canada Day here, saw some fireworks and met some cool people at the Cambie!

I’ve been watching Darling in the FranXX and Stranger Things so far, both pretty interesting. Also went to see Spiderman in a pretty cool theatre, enjoyed that quite a bit. Granville is so cool btw, so many cool stores. Went to Hot Topic in Metrotown, they had so much cool shit. SO much Kingdom Hearts/Twenty One Pilots merch. Wanna check that out again, I’m gonna make a purchase there and in that Manga shop before the summer’s over.

I do wanna dye my hair, but I think I’ll wait til I get a job. I don’t wanna be splashing money until I’ve got some income to offset some spending.

I wanna get a Gaming PC when I go home, I wanna play Destiny, League of Legends, Overwatch, Final Fantasy 14, Rainbow Six and loads more. I also finally wanna start streaming.

I got an urge to start writing for Moe’s site again, might start doing that idk. I also renewed my Adobe, I wanna use Photoshop and make some AMVs on Premier/After Effects again. 

I want Crash Nitro Fueled, I’m gonna get it for Switch - tried today and Best Buy was sold out. Typical. I also wanna get an iPad and start drawing, but I think I should start on paper first. Just to see if I like it.

So yeah, once Kai gets here I wanna go to North Vancouver a lot more often and start doing hikes up North and see some of the amazing sights. That’s what we came here for, that and just a general shakeup in life. Something new. They look beautiful though, lakes and forests and mountains. I can’t wait to see that.

We’re also going to Ejeca on the 19th and a house party on the 20th. I’ll see how that goes.

When I get home I’m excited to play some games lmao, I miss my PS4. I wanna play Destiny and start a clan. I also wanna replay FF13, I was looking at some wiki stuff on that and I miss it. I want a Razer headset too, we might make that purchase when I get my PC. I’ve a list of things on my phone I wanna save up for, a good camera for example. 

I’m also so excited to just be home and not have to buy groceries lol. I wanna make my room cooler. Accenture is going to be amazing too, I’m going to India. I wanna join socs, maybe even start my own and finally meet some like-minded people. I didn’t do it in Uni and I regret that but I may have another chance now.

Life is good.

I wanna eat more calories and really try to bulk up, I wanna start weighing myself in pounds for more accuracy and find my calorie maintenance myself. I’ll work from there. Spread my meals out over the day etc.

I may need a new name for PC and Stadia. I really wanna draw my own stuff. I wanna join a community of Irish streamers and gamers and start from there. It’ll take time. Be yourself though, and fuck what people think. 

Also been watching Love Island lol, it’s entertaining as fuck. 

Soundbar for my TV! Check out your “Saving For” list future me. 

Bought a sweet Fila top too, perfect for Electric Picnic - black bandana too.

We wanna go to Squamish and Whistler, maybe meet Michelle. Wanna make that happen. They look amazing. 

That’s kinda all my thoughts at the moment, I think. I’ll keep posting.

So far it’s been great, just settling into the area and being in a new place. The amount of Irish is a bit annoying, but it’s fine. The few Canadians we’ve spoke with have been cool. But yeah, excited for the rest of it, gonna chill out when I want and do shit when I want. No pressure. It’s not a two week holiday, its a 2 month change in my life and my environment. There’s still so much time and so much to do, but also wow it’s going by fast. 

I’m excited for the rest of it and also to go home and play games and go to EP and most importantly to start in Accenture and welcome that new chapter. But that’ll all happen eventually, for now the focus is on Canada and enjoying my time here. We can focus on all that other stuff I’ve mentioned once I get home. Plenty of time for that, whereas I’ve only 1.5 month(s) left in this Canadian life experience. Will update soon.