#so i edited some of the timing etc to refer to 'yesterday' (i.e. Saturday) instead of 'today'

[dear-eli]

Yesterday was a shit day.

It didn't help that you came in here 2 days in a row for morning cuddles (Thursday because of the storm, and Friday just because you wanted to and you could) but weren't able to do so on Saturday. It also didn't help that I once again was up past 5 am when I had to be up shortly after 9, and took one of my CBD sleep gummies at some point after 3am). But I woke up tired and groggy and cranky and congested/sinus headachey, had to deal with girls, and then.

Then I asked you a simple question: would you be able to run a simple errand for me and/or take me to run it myself. You didn't even really answer the question. You said you and Kacee weren't planning on going to Walmart - which wasn't what I asked; I asked whether you could pick up an order for me, regardless of whether you had already planned on going or not, but god forbid you have to take Kacee out of her way for the literally FIVE MINUTES it would take to pick up my order 🙄 - and THEN you suggested I ask your mom to pick it up for me. Your mom who barely speaks to me any more than Kacee does, who was out running errands god only knows where, and who ALSO didn't go to Walmart. Fuck off. Fuck alllll the way off with that.

And of course the answer to the latter half of my question was also (an unspoken) no, because your mom still had Alex's truck and there was no way in frozen-over hell that Kacee was going to let you take me anywhere in her boss's car, with or without her. But that all went without saying.

And THEN, since you were so adamant about not going to Walmart and trying to foist off my request on literally anyone else you could, I decided to do what I very rarely do: I checked Life360 and tracked your whereabouts. Turns out by "running errands," you and Kacee apparently actually meant "going on a date." You told me you were picking up parts for your car and going to talk to a mechanic about fixing it; but from what I saw on the app, it looked like y'all ate lunch, spent a few hours at the arcade (maybe saw a movie??), maybe went to Drug Emporium (and/or Lowe's for some reason), and went out to dinner too. Whereas when I need to run errands, I have to plan it for days in advance, BEG for permission to ride in the car with you, go straight to the store and immediately back home, and STILL get accused of lying about where I went and why. But when Kacee needs to "run errands," it apparently means taking you out for a prolonged date out on the town and only barely doing anything actually important. But I don't get to go out on dates with you, again unless I plan for WEEKS in advance, and even if I do, she can't last for more than a few hours without texting you and picking a fight to ruin my day. It's fucking bullshit, Eli. I'm tired of being treated like a second-class citizen, in my home and in my relationship, and being treated like I'm on house arrest. I've done nothing to deserve that.

And I don't appreciate you fucking lying to me. You lied (by omission but still a lie) about WHY you couldn't run to Walmart for me right quick, you lied about what you were out doing in the first place, and you refused to even answer the part about whether or not you could take me later. I understand that she doesn't want you texting me and vice versa - but this was a clear case of LOGISTICS, which was one of the only exceptions to that rule. And you shut me down without even a moment's consideration.

Between that, and me trying to wait for everyone else for dinner (and thus being hangry), and having to deal with a sinus headache, and Kayleigh being extra annoying after her cousins left - is it any wonder that I was mad and irritated when you got home? Is it any wonder that, when you asked me under your breath whether or not I was okay, when I finally got to eat something for the first time in 7+ hours, I shook my head "no"? Oh and thank you SO much for following up on that, btw. (That's sarcasm, in case that was unclear; you DIDN'T follow up or ask for further explanation/clarification and you really fucking should have.)

So yeah. Yesterday was an absolutely garbage day. And I'm still suffering from sinus crap and dysentery, and I am still mad at you. When I've told you point blank that what I need you to pick up for me is MEDICATION to treat health issues I'm struggling with, and you just tell me "no can do" and try to shift responsibility to someone else; when you refuse to help me and then have the AUDACITY to ask me if I'm okay? Fuck you. No, I’m OBVIOUSLY not fucking okay, asshole. And you're being a shit boyfriend. If you're even technically my boyfriend anymore.

Maybe it's time I start properly enforcing this "break" we're supposed to be taking.