#but the emotions are still fresh

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[jaggedjot]

In order to not speak of Lestat for “twenty-three years”, Louis would have had to painstakingly curate or completely smother any acknowledgement of his early life as a vampire, Claudia, and the events that led to him and Armand leaving Paris. Being with and loved by Armand requires Louis to cease to exist outside of him.

[ria-starstruck]

baby. you are baby.

[vanweezer]

ct & jr

[ghosts-n-bones]

Fresh’s way of showing you he cares is by giving you little pieces of candy. He likes to carry gum (or small hard candies if that’s what you prefer) with him in case you need it.

Feeing stressed? Candy

Anxious? Candy

Bad headache? Candy

Hungry but can’t get food at the moment? Candy

That’s just his special way of showing you he is thinking of you! If you are the type of person who likes to fold your gum wrappers into origami animals, he would totally ask you if he could keep them! That way, he could look at them and remember how much you care for him in return!

[lunarrolls]

i cannot fucking overstate how much i love fcg’s reasoning for helping the gods btw. they don’t want to save them because they believe in them, though they do—they want to save them because, deep down, the purpose they’ve always had, always wanted to have, is to help. he wants to save the gods because they’ve asked for his help, and in turn, he believes that they’ll be able to help more people across exandria. he believes that if he helps, the gods will pay that favor back and help others too. and i just. dear god i love that. fcg recklessly and relentlessly chooses kindness and seems to have come back even more determined to do so after their detour in wildemount and i absolutely cannot wait to see it

[lialox]

”How do you deal with the grief of someone who is still around, just different?”

Since the Holy Trinity of webnovels gets on this theme a fair bit, I’ve personally found that it boils down to one question: Can you let go of this person?

There’s no gray area for it. It’s either yes or no.

This is going to be a journal entry, you can stop reading here:

I’ve had a friend who once paid for a concert ticket he didn’t even want to go to to save me and a mutual friend from being harassed by someone on drugs who wouldn’t leave us alone. This person was always the one who made sure I got home safe. This same friend SA’d another mutual friend years later.

My best friend in high school has wiped my tears more than anyone ever will in my life. I would not be the person I am today without learning from their kindness. They were my hero. Years later this same person encouraged me to stay in a toxic relationship I was struggling to leave because they became close with my ex and they didn’t want to hurt him, and me leaving the relationship would hurt him… (think ‘threats of self harm if we break up’ type of toxic, I was crying every day during this time and they knew).

The version of these people I had come to love will always be my hero.

The answer I came to was this: I HAD to let go of them as people because I wouldn’t be happy with who they are today. But I will always hold love for them because they made sure I survived. I don’t want to be a part of their lives but I wish them so much happiness. It’s being able to hold space for both emotions but I gotta tell you, it hurts. I’ve “let go” years ago and I’m still grieving over these friendships. We used to joke around and promise we’d end up in the same retirement home… I have a hard time reading stories about this topic because there is no happy ending for the two ‘characters’ in this setting. Just a peaceful goodbye once you accept them for who they are.

The person they once were is a memory, a version that exists only in your imagination, and you are all alone in your grief of a person still living.

And for them, I’m sure I seem like a completely different person too.

[threadmonster]

Please Consider: how godawful miserable Dazai would be if Chuuya forgot about him. How painful that would be.

In Beast you have this AU Dazai who knows everything and is willing to be the worst and be forgotten so that there's a version of Odasaku that gets to live and write his novel.

That's Oda though (and in the AU too).

Chuuya? That's an entirely different relationship. They're partners. They trust each other. They're equals. Chuuya even still has a list of the women Dazai had wronged in the past.

I headcanon that Dazai would hate being forgotten in general but he doesn't rule out being forgotten by the people around him. He couldn't just rule that out and that's fine. He probably couldn't rule out the possibility of Chuuya forgetting him either, but I think canon is showing that he is confident that Chuuya wouldn't.

I don't think he would ever make a choice that lead to that. He'd make all the calculations to have both. It would be easier if one or both of them died.

A world without Chuuya at all is better than if Chuuya looked him dead in the eye and didn't recognize him at all.

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Australian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello & Jarno Trulli)

[nexility-sims]

🌷

[hearteyedbunny]

deep depression vs still depressed but healing and seeing your old self again <3

[thepalestrose]

Been watching RWBY with a friend and we finally caught up to V9 and I had to mute myself because I just cried straight through the last four chapters

[yakool-foolio]

Dead By Daylight-Styled Lore Excerpt for Yakou Furio

I've recently got dragged back into the DBD grind, so of course I had to combine my brainrot! Yakou would be the perfect survivor for a hypothetical Rain Code chapter, and I thought an unconventional but interesting choice of killer would be Mystery Phantom Yomi! The Entity pulls the manifestation of Yakou's darkest mystery from the labyrinth and gets some more use out of the bugger.

[doctorweebmd]

hi this isn't a question i just desperately need to tell you how much zero sum game ruined me and put me back together again. lurking mental illness and suicidality under shit circumstances, physical disability, mental and physical scars, constantly fighting off the ptsd and having to learn how to cope in ways that don't hurt other people so you can hang onto the person that makes it all worth it. it's everything i've gone through, right down to soul destroying and healing intimacy, at first to feel pain and then to attempt feeling truly good for the first time. zero sum is undoubtedly going to be one of those artworks i can never shake off my psyche in the best way, like an abstract background hug for my heart. thank you so much for taking so many scary themes to tackle and packaging them so beautifully, i really needed that lately.

sincerely, a previous battle of the bands fan who is now absorbing your entire oeuvre into their personality.

first i want to thank you profusely for sending me this. thank you for sharing your own experience, and your own pain. i know thats not easy and i'm some random person but honestly reading this makes me feel not so alone in the world. of course, thank you for reading, but also for relaying that you felt seen by it. i always feel so silly because its a my hero academia fanfiction but, with all sincerity, words like yours are what make writing it worth it.

zero-sum is sincerely my favorite thing i've ever written and probably always will be. not because i think the plot is awesome or the physics stuff was cool (EVEN THOUGH I STILL THINK THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE) but because its the first time i was able to write about my own personal experiences with mental illness (heavily projected onto Katsuki and Izuku, lmao) in over ten years.

Okay fair warning i am going to overshare under the cut so please feel free to stop reading also I love you and cherish you and appreciate you thank you so so so much for sending this

i'm sharing this because, at some point, i needed to read this. maybe someone will stumble on to it and realize something. maybe not. maybe its just another way for me to continue to process what happened. i think i'll always be processing it. mental illness is a bitch

when things got really bad for me (the first time around) i stopped writing completely. at that time, i truly, from the bottom of my heart, believed that my disorder was the only thing that made my writing interesting. that if i was to recover, that means i could no longer do the only thing i was good for. unironically, writing was actually a major barrier to my recovery for some time.

writing, the thing i loved most in the world, started heavily triggering me.

so i stopped.

the problem was, i heavily romanticized what i was going through in my writing. i made the suffering 'beautiful.' by thinking it was beautiful, i was trapping myself in a loop of self-destruction.

they say, 'write what you know.' but all i knew was misery. so misery was what i wrote.

romanticizing your pain is something i think we all do. sometimes you have to. its a survival mechanism. if the pain is 'beautiful,' then its 'tolerable' to go through.

what no one really tells you about mental illness is that its really, really fucking lonely.

what no one tells you about recovery is, its even lonelier. its the most isolating thing in the world. everything you relied on, everything you thought to be true, the way you interact with the world completely changes.

things are always going to be different. you can't go back to who you were before.

what i did do, when i went into recovery, was read the very few published books about people with (disorder) who recovered. over and over and over again. i needed something to latch on to. anything. i needed to believe it was possible. i needed to believe people like me survived. that they could find happiness. that they could find love. that there is space in this world for people as broken as me.

i dont know. zero-sum, to me, was a love letter to that 19 year old kid that hit her (first) rock bottom. i pretended she didn't exist because it hurt too much to think about her. but what she needed to know, then, that recovering, no matter how difficult, was worth it. that life can and WILL get better. that she will one day wake up every morning and think 'fuck. i'm so glad i'm alive.' that even people like her can find happiness.

that one day, many years later, embarrassed, she'll show her scars to a person she just started dating. that he'll sheepishly show her his. that they'll exchange police reports like love letters. she'll learn that there are people out there that understand her. have felt her same pain. have lived through the same hell. she'll learn that survival is sometimes based on hope, and sometimes based on spite.

but is, despite it all, always worth it.

she'll learn that her suffering does not preclude her from love and connection and happiness.

that one day, she won't feel so alone.

and that one day, she'll be able to sit down at her computer and write about it. maybe it will be in the form of my hero academia fanfiction lmao but that doesn't make it any less real.

maybe it will reach someone. maybe it won't.

but one day, she'll be able to do the thing she loved more than anything in the world again, because nothing is ever truly lost.

there is a future worth fighting for.

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

coping with things so well today so i’m bragging about it ✨

[azurityarts]

Daily Doodle #309

cheering

yeah this is dumb haha

nothing quite like watching Worlds. :)

this has no context but i don't care

From Play-Ins to Finals, and winning it all in the greatest Bo5 Worlds has ever seen.

GGWP DRX, you deserve the title of champions.