#so i've been spending hours in the garage working on it LOL

[transsweet]

ok do you guys wanna see why i haven't been as active in art lately

sooooo yyyeaaaa

[bodybeyondstories]

Just ignore it - 5

The gang takes a field trip to the Marshlands to study the artifact that Blake brought in. As they get closer, David loses even more control over his reality warping imagination, and things get weird. Then they get weirder.

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 (Previous) | 6 (Next)

MaleTF // Ass Growth // Dick Growth // Growth // Macro // Suggestion // nsfw

Author note: I was reflecting on how this series was originally supposed to end with part 2, but then @alias-miniature shared some words of encouragement and here we are. I think I wrote the climax of this chapter while I was still playing around with part 3, I've just been spending months finding excuses to wax poetic about some wobbly spacetime nonsense lol.

---

“Ooo are we taking the Mystery Machine?” I asked, voice echoing off the concrete pillars of the parking garage.

“We really don’t need to call it that,” said Armand. He pushed a utility cart laden with equipment as he led our group towards a row of old vehicles that the Center for Supernatural Sciences had acquired used, offhand, or through some nefarious means over the years, the most recent of which being a blue and green SUV well suited for group field trips off the beaten path. The obvious nickname being to me–and most everyone else in my opinion–the Mystery Machine.

“But we are taking it,” Lee confirmed.

Armand opened the hatchback, revealing a spacious interior already pre-prepped for our little adventure. The entire second row had been removed, as well as all but one seat in the back. Packs of what looked like hiking supplies, snacks, and a cooler were arranged on the floor toward the front, leaving an open space just large enough for our pallet full of magical gizmos. Without thinking, I squatted down and picked it up, sliding it neatly into place.

“What?” I asked, noticing Armand’s stare. “Does it not go there?” I quickly remembered that lifting the entire pallet of whimsical yet heavy duty tools and gadgets like a sack of potatoes was not a normal thing that someone was supposed to be able to do. Even someone with my physique. I’d been having some hiccups in getting used to my new strength, evidenced by the similarly incredulous stares that morning as I was casually outpacing rush hour traffic on my bike to work.

“We’ll fill you in,” said Lee, patting Armand on the shoulder as he strolled past us to lounge in the lone third row seat, elegantly stretching his legs across the extra space. 

Armand sighed in resignation, hopping into the driver's seat as I plopped down into the passenger. “We’re meeting Blake at the site in the Marshlands, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

—

The Mystery Machine headed east along the interstate through the dignified gray hinterlands patiently awaiting a snow fall. Handing Lee the aux cord wasn’t the best idea, but at least he was trying to match the mood of the early winter landscape in between bubble gum pop hits, a welcome respite from Armand’s request for a locally produced, surprisingly dull, occult news podcast that he kept up with for “research.” I fell into the flow of rolling hills and stands of denuded trees, unable to fully drift off due to the magnetic tug coming from the back of the car.

I hadn’t gotten solid details about the artifact that Blake had brought in, and that we were now transporting back to where it came from. Admittedly, I had still been in a haze of post-coital bliss when Lee filled me in on the situation, more interested in the sight of him maneuvering his girthy snake back into his pants than the words that had been coming out of his mouth. But I got the gist.

The artifact had come from the Marshlands, but not from the Marshlands, so to speak. According to Blake, it had been sitting in a perfectly circular clearing on a patch of higher ground, waiting there long enough to become half buried in humus and partially coated in a fuzzy moss.

“Waiting is the important word here,” said Lee. “That’s how Blake mentioned it multiple times. Like it was waiting to be found.”

“But it hadn’t been there long?” I asked, pulling a backup pair of leggings out of a desk drawer after having torn my original pair like tissue paper trying to get them to cooperate with my glutes.

“Relatively speaking, no. We can’t quite pinpoint when it appeared there, but we don’t think it was placed by human hands. The physical and metaphysical signatures point to somewhere other than the Marshlands. Somewhere else. It was causing disturbances in the cleanroom that we hadn’t seen before.”

“Like how the sigils changed color?”

“Yeah. They turned into a lightshow after you left, you should’ve seen it.”

The actual artifact appeared to be some sort of device. A copper colored sphere about the size of a soccer ball, that felt like unglazed clay to the touch and was much heavier than it had any right to be. Patterns of some inscrutable design were inlaid across its surface in flowing lines of gold, teal and lavender that seemed to glow with their own passive light. 

“We took a 3D scan and sent it over to archives to see if they had any reference to decode it,” said Lee. “But Logan said every time he opens the file it looks slightly different on his monitor. His tech can only figure it out partially, but never enough to crack the code. You remember Logan, right?”

“How could I forget,” I said with obvious sarcasm, looking forward to catching up with the archivist who inadvertently started all this mess. 

“He thinks the only way to figure it out is to conduct experiments with it on site. He’s supposed to be out there with Blake, preparing the area. ”

That can’t be good, I thought, but reminded myself that it wasn’t all Logan’s fault. It’s not like he was planning on becoming the conduit for some ancient horny trickster deity, or was even trained to effectively deal with that scenario. This sort of thing was part of my job and even I was slowly crumbling under the pressure of Synt’s unrelenting power. It’s a miracle Logan lasted as long as he did. Sometimes it felt like the boundaries of my corporeal form were becoming thinner and thinner, my perception of mundane reality slowly beginning to fade into Synt’s casually multidimensional experience.

—

As we approached the Marshlands, the barriers between worlds began to blur even further. My senses kept expanding in weird directions in physical space and other space, the passing landscape enlivened with echoes and resonances of nearby timelines bumping up against our own. I could feel the artifact in the back of the Mystery Machine more strongly, but the blunt magnetic tug was slowly resolving into something more nuanced. Like a complex rhythm underneath Lee’s playlist, overlapping patterns of subsonic vibes that manifested in my head as the shifting glow of the lines across the sphere. As the mental image came together in increasing sharpness, the ball opened–not mechanically, but through some sort of phase change, its solid surface shifting into–

The van shuddered to a halt, bringing me back to reality as Armand turned the engine off. We had come off the interstate onto some county road and stopped at a nondescript gas station with no other vehicles in sight. Without the flow of the rolling highway landscape to distract me, I could almost taste how fuzzy reality was out here. There were whorls and eddies of chaotic possibility that were almost as iridescent as the puddles on the ground. Maybe it was something about the geography, maybe I was spending too much time in close proximity to the artifact, maybe the outlines of my form that identified me as a discrete being in this world were being erased from the inside out. Maybe all of the above. Regardless, I tried to tamp down the flutter of worry that sprung up in my stomach, shifting into the conspicuous ‘just act normal’ affect of someone who’s just realized they’ve misjudged an edible.

Armand chatted briefly with the station attendant, who seemed unable to decide if it was less rude to gawk at the anaconda running around Armand’s left hip or the sight of Lee stretching his arms up and towering over the SUV. He relented, keeping his attention pointedly directed at the task of filling up the tank. Armand headed inside to scope out snacks, a slight wobble in his gait as he maneuvered his dick into a more comfortable position, while Lee wandered off a little to admire the scenery and stretch his legs.

Without the distraction of my companions, and unwilling to try and settle back into a nap, I twisted around to rummage through the snack cooler, tossing the dried fruit and trail mix aside to snatch up the family size bag of some obscure brand of cheese puffs. The complex notes coming from the artifact (that seemingly no one else could hear) had settled into background noise, piquing my attention as they became slightly discordant, building in what felt like anticipation. As I angled myself back up, I paused, catching the gaze of the station attendant through the open rear window. He looked awestruck, and with one leg splayed across the driver's seat and my amazonian ass perched in the air, I could figure out why.

“I, uh, sorry,” he said, looking distraught as he forced himself to tear his eyes away from the sight of my supernaturally round butt cheeks. He was adorable as he blushed, still biting into his lower lip.

“It’s cool,” I chuckled. “Cheese puffs?” I opened the bag of bright orange corn products, offering them in his direction.

“I’m good,” he said. “I’m trying to stop eating those. Pretty sure they’re going straight to my hips.”

He had this look on his face like he was surprised he even said that, which just added to how cute his visible embarrassment was. But as the words left his lips, the notes from the artifact began to crescendo ever so slightly, harmonizing with that all too familiar feeling of Synt’s power emerging into this realm, the anticipation building.

Oh, I thought. I see. It almost felt as if this scenario had been written for us, and with the wobbliness of my current perception of linear time, it was a little more clear that it kind of had. The notes had been laid out and all we had to do was hit them. So I already knew what to expect as I said my next line, “Then you must eat these all the time.”

And there it was. His stance shifted slightly as we settled into a timeline in which he had already had a bubble butt juicy enough to see from the front.

“Yeah, it’s kind of a problem,” he said with a nervous laugh, one hand resting on the shelf of his ass while the other moved the gas pump back into place. “Honestly, I was about to ask you for advice. Hard to find pants that fit my…shape, out here in the boonies.”

And it was obvious why. His khakis looked painted on, straining against the melons that ballooned from his lower back. I could practically hear the stitches screaming in terror from the dreaded cheese puffs that had been the downfall of so many of their predecessors, as if sheer proximity to the artificially flavored snack dust in the air risked pushing his bubble butt to a level of catastrophic stress, until–

I caught a glimpse of his cakes seeming to expand, not through the usual flipbook of timelines, but physically in ‘real’ time, growing bigger and rounder before my very eyes. He took notice too, turning his torso just in time to see the seat of his pants completely give way, falling apart as his ass cheeks expanded into open air, clad in only a pair of pink and white striped bikini briefs that barely covered the top of his shelf.

“Ah shit!” he exclaimed, trying and failing to pull the fabric back together over an ass that actually was bigger than it had been thirty seconds ago. “I think I’ve got some backups in my locker. Have a good one!”

“Oh, no problem,” I offered, watching the globes of his butt cheeks swish back and forth as he power walked back inside, mildly apologetic in the knowledge that whatever replacement pants he already had would bear the exact same fate.

That time, it had felt so familiar, yet slightly different. The nuances of Synt’s power were so much clearer out here, like I could taste the full complexity of the flavor profile, but with that, the barriers between their world and this one were much more porous. Or maybe I was just better at reading the cracks, tunnels, and pathways. Out here, it was more apparent that the mental, physical, and metaphysical coordination of vocal speech was just a way to channel short bursts of magic from one side of the divide to the other. And without the usual solidity of the barriers between worlds, maybe the unchecked power of imagination could slip through just as easily.

“That you?” asked Lee, who had apparently strolled back to the van just in time to see the attendant’s comically large ass split his pants wide open, letting his hand grab a handful of cheese puffs as he also indulged in the sight of the attendant’s purposeful stride back to the convenience store.

“Yup,” I muttered. “Be careful with those, I heard they go straight to your hips.” I had been joking, but was also genuinely concerned that I may have inadvertently cast a spell on this exact brand of junk food that was now creating bubble butted men across its distribution range. I made a mental note to look into that right after all the other magical calamities spawning off around me.

—

The rest of the trip was relatively uneventful, encouraged by the fact that Armand had somehow gained control of the aux cord and was dragging us through an audiobook about spectral informatics that he was already half way into. I was still crammed up front, dutifully pretending to be asleep but actually fighting every urge not to phase accidentally out of the car. I shuddered with metaphysical tension, the weight of my cosmic companion eroding away any solid grasp on reality.

Lee, with his boundless patience and grace, humored his lab partner, asking lazy yet helpful questions while he lounged in the back, dinner plate size hands still dwarfed by the firehose bulge that he stroked absentmindedly. He looked like he could stretch to fill the entire length of the Mystery Machine if we wanted to, like he could indulgently take up more space as easily as yawning. The harmonics of the artifact sitting resolutely next to him seemed to resonate with his lithe form, and in my partial consciousness I couldn’t help but imagine his body slipping into semi-liquidity with the notes, stretching slightly with the rhythm but each time not quite returning all the way to where it began. He could really become the embodiment of grace if he wanted. If I wanted. As county roads turned to back roads and we passed the vine covered “Marshlands State Park” sign, the trees in the landscape seemed to stretch up with similar ease, yawning in the breeze. I imagined Lee strolling through the forest, towering over us as he stretched with them.

I could no longer keep up a convincing facade of unconsciousness as the van turned off the small forest road onto a poorly maintained gravel path that led to a patch of dirt currently occupied by a shiny new park ranger truck. Armand pulled up next to it as Lee and I scanned the area for our collaborators, seeing only a path through the trees that led down to an expanse of shallow water.

As I stepped out of the van, the satisfying crack of my back and shoulders preceded an indulgent yawn, breath sparkling in the crisp air as I took in our surroundings. My moment of idyll was interrupted by a surprised grunt as Lee whacked his head against the top of the passenger door, stumbling with a brief moment of uncharacteristic clumsiness. I quickly realized why as he rose to his full height, which was itself a full foot taller than it had been just a few hours before. He looked down at himself in mild confusion, which transitioned to a painful wince as, with a staccato of popping sounds, the threads of his shoes failed and his feet burst through, toes and heels spilling out from both ends.

“C’mon man,” Lee said, realization dawning in my direction. “Those were size nineteen.” His look of annoyance melted into one of mild worry. “You sure you’re holding it together?” he asked, coming in to pat my shoulder but jerking back at a sharp bolt of static shock.

“Just barely,” I said.

“Looks like someone had a growth spurt!” exclaimed Blake, who seemed to emerge out of nowhere as he walked up toward us. 

“Speak for yourself,” Lee muttered, gazing down at him suspiciously. 

Blake, once again, looked noticeably bigger than we had last seen him. His ranger uniform was pushed to the limit, inflated biceps and quads straining his sleeves and shorts. I got the sense that having his shirt unbuttoned down to his nipples wasn’t just an aesthetic choice, but the result of a struggle lost against his massive pecs. His muscle butt ballooned behind him, cheeks bouncing back and forth as he unloaded gear from the truck bed.

“He is getting bigger,” came a voice way too suddenly in our vicinity.

Lee reared back with an overdramatic flourish before finally noticing Logan standing several feet away, practically swimming in a pair of oversized waders.

“How?” I asked. “Because it’s definitely not me,” and shot a defensive glance at Lee.

“I, well–” said Logan.

“Maybe he met super dick,” quipped Armand, looking overly busy organizing equipment, as if to emphasize the fact that the rest of us were just standing around.

“No, I don’t think so, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about–”

“Do you think they’re each other’s type?” Lee asked with a look of genuine interest.

“There have been some developments with–”

“Let’s not get lost in the imaginary meet cute,” I said. “We’re here on magical nonsense business. We’re in the field. We’re setting up equipment. We’re wearing field gear. Logan’s wearing…waders for some reason.”

“...with the…well they’re–”

“The only thing that fits?” offered Armand with uncharacteristic sincerity. I guess as the two local monster dick twinks, they’ve exchanged fashion tips here and there. They looked extremely roomy, yet somehow still distended from the pressure of his prodigious wang, which looked like it had gone through some aftershocks of growth after his fateful visit to my office.

“Well it’s just that we’re taking the–”

“Airboat!” I exclaimed, suddenly noticing the watercraft parked off a short pier just down the hill. “We’re taking an airboat? You drive an airboat?” I asked, with no hint of even trying to cover my surprise.

“I pilot an airboat,” Blake corrected with an upbeat smile, his tree trunk quads swelling with muscle as he walked up toward us. “The wet season keeps lasting longer and longer, so unless you wanna wade over there…”

“That why Logan’s dressed to catch a catfish by hand?” asked Lee.

“Well these are the only gear that fit,” said Logan, as if suddenly remembering he was there.

Ah ha, I thought. “So you’re driving us to that…island.”

“I’m piloting you to the island,” said Blake, not so much to me as to the stand of cypress trees in the distance, his gaze lingering for a few seconds as the rest of us relented and shifted to the task of hauling the gear down to the airboat.

As I unloaded the apparatus from the van, prepared to repeat my feat of strength from that morning, I noticed it was significantly lighter. Still heavy, I imagined, by normal human standards, but easy enough to lug down to the boat with minimal strain, earning me an appreciative whoop and generous slap on the butt from Blake. Did I somehow get stronger or was the artifact behaving in some new, strange way?

The airboat looked like one of the big tourist-carrying models that had apparently been repurposed for the parks service. The residue of the old logo of some defunct swamp tour company still visible around the parks logo and info placed on top. The name, Swamp Hag, remained the same, still legible amid the wear and rust. Most of the rows of seating along the flat bottom hull had been removed in favor of storage space, now filled with all of our stuff, leaving us cozied up in the two rows at the back.

The whine of the engine was quickly outmatched by the roar of the propeller, overbearing even through earplugs, as Blake started us up and began ferrying us to the island in the distance. We cruised over golden brown fields of late season wetland grasses, passing clumps of cattails bursting with fluffy seed heads. I glanced up to see Blake behind and above us in the pilot seat, eyes locked intently ahead towards our destination, left hand nimbly controlling the rudder stick. 

Seated in the middle, I was directly below him and positioned between his meaty quads. He always seemed to be on the verge of bursting out of his pants these days, which wasn’t helped by the massive pipe creeping slowly down his right leg, leaving dark spots of precum and even pulsing with an occasional lurch further and increase in girth. I couldn’t tell if that was just my imagination, but I wasn’t in any position to let my imagination wander, exemplified by the fact that the moon, visible in the daytime sky, seemed to keep switching between stationary object and figure-eight analemma. But with the neverending drone of the propeller, I needed a distraction, and couldn’t help but let Synt’s power slip out just a little, envisioning what might happen if that prodigious bulge–

A piercing, subsonic feedback ran through my skull as I had the distinct feeling of two of the same magnetic poles brought too close together. As the pain subsided, I glanced up again to see Blake smile down, give me a conspiratorial wink, and return to the task at hand. 

I decided to deal with that later as we pulled up to the island and began carrying things through the wall of cypress trees towards the interior. Vegetation was dense, but a winding footpath had been carved in previous visits, aided by the fact that much of the underbrush had died back. The trees seemed to whisper among themselves in some conversation that we weren’t a part of but were fine to listen in on, the low lying sounds of the forest becoming more complex until we stepped into the relative silence of a moss-covered clearing in the middle.

“This is where you found it?” asked Armand, eyes scanning the ground for any clues or disturbances. “It looks…untouched.”

“It’s where it found us,” Blake joked in a tone that wasn’t especially humorous. “And yeah, it just sort of appeared. Right there in the middle.”

Armand and Lee set to work setting up a makeshift cleanroom, moving around the perimeter of the circular clearing to lay down plexiglass panels featuring the familiar protective sigils from the lab. I opened the apparatus to remove the artifact, which practically sang in recognition, complex linework of lavender and gold forming and reforming across its surface. It felt as light as styrofoam as I lifted it and carried it across the space. As we reached the center, it simply stopped moving. In fact, as I let my hands slip away, it simply remained stationary. Just hovered in the air, rotating slowly.

“Now that’s cool,” said Blake, walking up to the artifact. “It wasn’t doing that before.” He lifted a finger and brought it up to the surface, hovering a few centimeters away. The curls, diagrams, and fractals covering the sphere seemed to converge around Blake’s fingertip in a multicolored spiral before sending a visible jolt of electricity across the short distance.

“Are you okay?” asked Logan, walking up behind him, responding to Blake’s quiet yelp.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “It felt…great, actually.” His eyes seemed lost in the patterns of the artifact as it seemed to dematerialize into a loose amalgamation of strings, a facsimile of a solid sphere, singing in complex harmonies, rising in a slow crescendo.

“Are y’all picking this up?” I asked Lee and Armand, who were just getting the monitoring equipment online.

“Picking what up?” asked Lee. 

Before we could answer, a pulse of iridescent energy shot out from the artifact, passing through us and stopping a few feet before the perimeter, forming a dome that resembled a giant soap bubble.

“Oh wow, it worked,” whispered Blake.

“What worked?” I asked, squinting my eyes at him. “What’s happening?”

“It’s a force field, they made a force field,” called Lee, motioning to the layer of shimmering air directly in front of him.

“I did not think that would work,” said Blake.

“Didn’t think what would work?” I asked with increasing suspicion.

“You gotta trust me,” said Blake, hands splayed apologetically yet his eyes showing a touch of overexcitement. “We’ve been talking about your situation and–”

“Situation? Who? You and Logan?”

“And…our cosmic deity mutual friend.”

“You’ve been talking to Synt,” I snapped. How? I thought. “Through Logan?”

“Well, they’re still connected in certain ways. I guess they were always connected or whatever?”

“Of course. Of course,” I drummed against the nook between my eyebrows.

“Synt didn’t tell you?” Blake asked.

“Didn’t tell me what?”

“About completing the ritual. We need to complete the ritual,” he said with growing intensity.

“What ritual?” My tone annoyed and mildly incredulous.

“The one we started with the artifact in your office,” offered Logan, as if explaining an email I ignored. “We opened the portal but we need to let it close behind them.”

“Oh is their presence weakening the fabric of spacetime in a localized area?” asked Armand, tapping nonchalantly on the force field like a thick pane of glass. “I guess that makes sense.”

“A little more concern would be nice. Blake’s getting pretty antsy in here,” I said.

“We’re getting you out, bud! We’re on it,” said Lee, turning to dig around in one of the totes full of equipment while Armand continued to inspect the perimeter.

“I don’t know what sweet nothings Synt has been whispering in your ears,” I said to Blake, “but I promise you they’re just fucking with all of us.”

“No, no, I think it’s about resonance,” said Blake. “We’ve only heard one chord in a cosmic symphony! We just have to let them finish.”

“Finish what–”

I was cut off as everything seemed to shift into some sort of non-space, Blake, Lee, Armand, and Logan no longer visible but the forcefield now hyperreal as a solid structure of what looked like glowing golden wires in hexagonal patterns. There was no longer the soft solidity of the mossy clearing, and the forcefield was revealed as not a dome but a sphere, surrounding me on all sides. I hovered stationary in space, rotating slowly around the smaller sphere of the artifact, which pulsed with harmonics and rhythms within and without the color spectrum, seeming to flow in tandem with the structure surrounding us. 

It absorbed my attention and I had the sinking sensation of falling perpetually towards it, plummeting through strata of timelines, tangling and untangling through interwoven threads of possibilities and fractal perception, catching small glimpses here and there of moments in space time, some that I could recall from memory and some that were wildly unfamiliar. I saw Synt talking with me at the bar and simultaneously with Logan in my class weeks before. I realized that for them, there was no linear time, and the best approximation for someone in my three-dimensional existence was cosmic terror and confusion as I fell through the complex dimensional framework of strings that they were delicately pulling. They had been building to something, I realized. Were always building to something. Are currently building to something that in this thread of spacetime is finally coming together.

I had the sensation of breathing in and zooming out, seeing a birds eye view in unnatural clarity of the wetland clearing, the artifact in the exact center spinning wildly and sending multicolored pulses of light, the surrounding trees murmuring amongst themselves, and beyond that the unseasonal expanse of placid water in a symmetrical ovoid shape that came to a point at both ends. It looked unmistakably like an eye.

With a resounding thud in my mind, I came back to this place in this timeline–or more accurately I had never left and was never there–and noticed Blake standing there wide eyed. I could taste the lust and excitement pouring off of him like a snake flicking the air. He had only gotten tastes here and there of what he could become and he was starving, unapologetically dreaming about ridiculous, indulgent size. Who was I to deny the full extent of what he could be? Why would I have ever held back this power?

I fell to my knees as another wave of Synt’s untapped chaos magic took over my being, reverberating through the space. I was dimly aware of rings of multicolored, iridescent mushrooms rising and falling in concentric waves around us. For a second I lost my physical senses, overwhelmed by Synt’s ability to see seamlessly across planes of existence and temporal strata. As my body struggled to make sense of this metaphysical tsunami, I could see the perspective of every cell ringing out simultaneously. I could see every possibility in every timeline. It was beautiful and terrible, threads waving, trailing, breaking, weaving into each other with chaos and grace. In this other sense, I felt the cleansing surge of a deluge following a dam break as my guard finally went down and Synt stepped fully into my being in this world. I had been holding them back for so long, letting go was a welcome relief.

I heard the strangely familiar sound of a string being plucked. 

Blake, ever the gentleman, snapped out of his enraptured fascination to try and help me up, jumping back as a visible bolt of electricity shot into his hand from my left bicep. I was an energetic livewire, and Blake’s eyes widened further in glee as he watched the muscles throughout his arm flex with a sickening pump, settling down as a wave of subtle growth spread throughout the rest of his body. Maybe this was due to my supercharged supernatural senses, but I noticed that his musculature was incredibly, unnaturally dense. He must’ve been somehow stronger than even the veritable wall of shredded muscle implied.

Still feeling his juicier pecs, he mused to the others, “that was just one touch. Imagine what you could do,” he added, turning to me.

“Yes,” I grunted through gritted teeth. “Imagine.” I grabbed his arm with lightning fast quickness. In fact, I don’t even remember moving my body at all. My hand was simply wrapped around his bicep because I willed it with a thought.

His head lolled back in euphoria as I poured into him. He was a willing participant, an enthusiastic receptacle of possibility powered by a vivid imagination of what his body could be and do. A deep, hungry wish that I happily granted. And then some. As he came back to his senses, his eyes took in a seemingly smaller space, his head inching farther from the ground as his massive feet took up more and more surface area. A look of worry replaced one of triumph as he realized how much he dwarfed even Lee’s eight and a half feet on the other side of the dome, with no signs of stopping. 

“Wait,” he groaned through waves of orgasmic pleasure. “Slow down. It’s…too much.” My hands had drifted to the slabs of his pecs, trailing onto his cobblestone abs as he continued to stretch and grow in all directions. He grabbed my hands with his massive paws, but the additional contact only sent a pulse of growth through his already gargantuan body, several feet of cock tearing through whatever fabric his quads and glutes hadn’t already shredded and thwacking onto the ground. 

“What’s…happening…won’t…stop,” he eked out, falling to all fours and breathing heavily as his mega dick spurted globs of precum that puddled below him. He was a larger than life behemoth of glistening, shredded muscle, except of course for the huge globes of his impossibly fat ass, which seemed to keep widening and ballooning as the rest of his growth slowed down.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off the overinflated glutes in front of me, caressing each, my otherwise huge hands dwarfed by the sheer size of them, falling into the heft of each pillowy cheek. Blake’s pride and joy, the unmissable bubble booty that could stop traffic and pull anyone at the bar, had blown up beyond comical proportions, each cheek large enough to crush the truck he drove here in. I felt my hands growing to monstrous proportions just to handle the boulders of blubber whose expansion was finally slowing to a stop as he panted in exhaustion, arching his back in insatiable need.

It all felt oddly reminiscent of the dream I had had of being eaten out by Synt while growing impossibly huge in the archives. Having just gotten a glimpse of Synt’s perception out of the bounds of linear time, I realized Of course. It was--for lack of a better concept, and from my meager three dimensional perspective--prophetic.

And we were hungry.

[zaharadessert]

Hello again, it's Santa here once more!

The elves have been a bit overworked, but they have your gift well in mind now.

Just a few more questions for you...

Are there any fic tropes you especially like to see used in stories? Things that just really make your heart melt - or make you cackle with glee and bounce excitedly in your seat? I would love to include little touches like that for you, if possible.

Also, are there any particular holiday traditions you share with your family and friends that are unique, or that you really hold close to your heart?

We're getting closer now, hope you are enjoying the festive season!!

Hey Santa!

-brain fart in progress, what even is a trope?-

Comfort of any kind? lol um... Righteously protective Killian? Bagel or Winged Simian karma? Papa Charming? Use of Canon lines in AUs? Hugging someone that really needs it, even if they don't respond at first and them just melting into it and being so grateful that the other person just KNEW (that seems oddly specific for a trope, sorry!)

I know it's taken me a while to reply to this, I actually found it quite difficult to articulate and not get upset. Christmas has changed quite a lot in our family over the years and a lot of this is things that I miss doing in the run up to Christmas. They've stopped for a variety of reasons, some of which I talk about with each specific thing.

I used to spend hours with my Nanna building a village snow scene on her mantelpiece with these tiny houses and some of them lit up and... it was just something that I will always treasure because I know we're not going to get many more Christmases with her, but we can't do it this year because of the building work to add a carer flat over their garage that my mum and step dad can move into. We used to do a 'girls day out' where we'd drive to a neighbouring town and do Christmas shopping, but it became harder for Nanna to walk places and with her dementia it got to be too much for everyone to cope with. The other thing we aren't doing this year is the extended family Christmas eve. We invited my mum and uncles cousins for dinner on Christmas eve, so that everyone could go do things with other sides of families Christmas day and we'd have gammon (and I'd snaffle all the leftover pineapple) and then steamed pudding for dessert (with so much treacle syrup I felt sick) and it's just a thing that we haven't managed to do properly in a while and I miss it.

So I don't know if any of that is particularly unique, but for me it's all about the memories of spending time with family, some of whom aren't here any more, but those are the ones that will always stick out.

Oh, and the fact that mum and I are a bit obsessed with Christmas trees and one year the house had... 8 or 9 Christmas trees of various sizes. I've only got a tiny one this year, but mum and I put hers up together last night and it was really special to be able to share that with her again.

[megan-loves-surveys]

Again.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? It's only March, but this year will prob be like the last few - me and my Mum, and my boyfriend will come over at some point.

What time do you usually go to sleep at night? Depends - if I have to work the next day, then around midnight. If no work, then after 1am.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? Yes.

Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? No.

Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? I don't have a car, but if I did, I'd park it in the space in front of our house. Every house in our complex has two spaces.

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? No.

Have you felt sick today? No.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? My Grandma's, back in 2017.

Have you read The Hunger Games trilogy? No.

How many times a week do you wash your hair? Two or three times. If I do it any more than that, it goes weird.

Do you need to wash your hair right now? I washed it yesterday, so it's fine for now.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? No. If I gotta go, then I gotta go.

What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? My boss' name is Oliver.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? No.

Do you like eggnog? I've never had it.

Is there anything important you need to do today? It's almost 10:30pm lol, the day is basically over.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Nobody, really.

Girls, how old were you when you first got your period? 13.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? My Mum and I split them.

Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? Yes, it's nice but I wouldn't listen to it all the time.

Do your parents know how to text? Yep. My Dad does it a lot, my Mum not as much but she can do it.

Do you text your parents often? If I want to talk to my Dad, I usually just message him on FB Messenger. If it's more urgent, then I text or call him.

What letter does your middle name begin with? S.

Do your initials spell an actual word? No.

What will you do when this survey is over? Play a video game, probably.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Not that I know of.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? None.

What’s the weather like today? It was rainy, but also super warm and humid. Gross combination.

Have you ever eaten a cinnamon donut? Yes, those tiny ones you get at the fair! Yummy.

What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? My current one, we've been together since June 2022, so almost 2 years.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Twice.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? I usually go out for a drink with my boyfriend and his friends.

Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? What can you hear? It's not loud, but not quiet either. I have a YouTube video playing, and my Mum has the TV on downstairs.

Do you currently have any alarms set? No.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? We don't have a driveway, just two parking spaces outside our house.

Do you like whiskey? Sure.

When was the last time you ate, and what did you have? I had a couple of pieces of toast, some savoury biscuits and an iceblock a few hours ago.

When did you last see someone you know in public? Hmm, at the Maniacs show the other day.

Do you enjoy going to the dentist? Who does?

When did you last eat something you didn’t like? I don't do that.

Do you think you’d survive if zombies took over the world? I'd probably suck lol.

When did you last hang out with a bunch of friends at one time? I guess the Maniacs show counts - there was me, David, Scott, Judith, Richard, Remoana and Summer.

What kind of music is your least favorite? Country and screamo.

Are you and your best friend complete opposites? We can be, but at the same time we're the same lol.

Would people around you say you’re regularly a mean person? No.

Do you like the colour yellow at all? Sure.

If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? It'd be a fanfic lol.

How many times have you logged in to Bzoink? (it has a counter) The site shut down, so I don't know, but it was def in the hundreds, I was a member since 2009.

Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? No.

Are you an impatient person? I can be.

Are you afraid to watch movies that have sex scenes with your friends? Haha no, we just watch and laugh.

Who sings the last song you listened to? Five.

Why do you think some actors don't want to see their movies/shows? Cos they don't want to see themselves haha.

Do you think fortune tellers are the devil’s messengers (haha)? No.

Would you rather use napkins or paper towels? Napkins.

Do you go to the pool in the summer time very often? No.

Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? My eyes in general are healthy, but my eyesight sucks.

Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? Yes, and Cartman of course.

Do you have sensitive teeth? Not really.

Do you enjoy or hate snow days? Why is this your choice? It doesn't snow where I live.

Do you turn pale when you get sick? Probably?

Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? That's only ever happened to me at the dentist, it was a numbing injection. Ugh.

When did you last talk seriously with one of your parents? Dunno about seriously.

What is the day of the week currently? Monday.

Is anything exciting coming up in the next three months? Oh yep.

Do you ever borrow money from someone? No.

Do you know anyone who tells every single thing you say? You mean like blab about my secrets? No.

When did you last kiss someone on the cheek? Who was it? My boyfriend probably.

Why do you think people like Lady Gaga so much? She's talented and has amazing stage presence. Plus her songs rule.

Do you have a lot of enemies, or not so much? I don't have any.

Can you count backwards from 100 without a mistake? Never tried.

Do you have any friends you’ve had since birth? No.

Do you care if your friends talk badly about you? Why would they do that?

Would you rather drink out of a straw or just the cup alone? Depends on the drink - some are better with straws.

Does anyone ever say they miss you often? Yes. My boyfriend is cheesey and says he misses me when we don't see each other that day <3

Would you rather become a wizard or a vampire, if you had the choice? Wizard.

Is there anyone out there who has made you feel miserable? Not recently.

Do you have a problem answering personal questions? No.

What color is the vacuum-cleaner in your house? It's red.

Have you already moved out of your parents’ house? No.

Are your parents divorced, married or separated? Divorced, and my Dad remarried.

Have you ever thought you might just have obsessive compulsive disorder? No.

Do you think it’s rude to text someone else while on a date? Well, yeah. Pay attention to yo date lol.

What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Hard to pick.

What are your views on our current president? Not everyone is American. But when it comes to NZ, our PM Luxon is fucking awful. Didn't vote for him or his party.

Has one of your websites ever quit operating or shut down? Were you sad? Bzoink shut down recently, sucky.

Is it awkward to see your best friend’s parents out in public? I don't see them, so no lol.

Who is the person you talk to the most in your house? It's just me and Mum, so her by default.

Is there a television show out there that you never miss? Only WWE.

What movie have you seen too many times to be healthy? Spiceworld xD

What are the last two digits of your phone number? 75.

Does it creep you out to see people with mullets? No, they just look silly xD

What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Bills.

How cold did it get where you live, last winter? It's very mild in my city, I don't think it even got close to 0C.

Do you ever wish you could go back in time to redo something? Maybe.

Ever accidentally pull out a filling from your tooth? I don't have any fillings.

Do you ever wonder what your exes are doing? No.

Have you ever been caught in a huge lie with your parents? I didn't get caught.

Do you ever listen to the radio anymore? No.

Does it bother you to have personal conversations with people? Why would it?

Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? I've never been in one.

Do any of your body parts hurt at this moment in time? Yep, my fingers.

Are you sober at the time being? Yep.

Do any of your friends constantly do things to annoy you? No.

When did you last eat a Starburst? What color was it? Oh man, dunno, ages ago.

Have you ever lied to someone & said they could sing when they couldn’t? No.

Do you ever call backstabbers out on what they do? Yep.

How many people in the world do you trust? A few.

[survey--s]

690.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? Christmas Day will be with my husband and the animals, but we'll see my parents and Mike's parents at some point over the holidays too.

What time do you usually go to sleep at night? I normally go up to bed around 9ish but I don't tend to sleep until nearly midnight.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? No.

Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? I was vegetarian for a few years as a teenager but I'd never want to do it again. I definitely couldn't go vegan.

Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? Either on the driveway or on the street. Our garage is full of crap and carports aren't a thing here.

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? Nope.

Have you felt sick today? No.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? I've never attended a funeral.

Have you read The Hunger Games trilogy? Yes.

How many times a week do you wash your hair? Everyday. I work an active job so it's not really optional.

Do you need to wash your hair right now? No, I had a shower a couple of hours ago and my hair is still damp from that.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? As much as I can yeah, but I’m not going to let myself suffer instead of using one.

What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? I run my own business. My last boss was Nick.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? Nope. They all live overseas.

Do you like eggnog? I've never actually had it but I like eggnog flavoured stuff.

Is there anything important you need to do today? I have another load of laundry that I need to do this afternoon.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Nobody in particular, really.

Girls, how old were you when you first got your period? Twelve. It was the day before I started year 8.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? Yeah, we split household bills proportionate to our income, and I also pay for all the animals and obviously my car and phone etc.

Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? Yeah, but it really doesn't appeal to me.

Do your parents know how to text? My mum does. My dad has never used or owned a mobile phone.

Do you text your parents often? I message my mum on Messenger most days but my dad and I aren't particularly close and we rarely speak.

What letter does your middle name begin with? C.

Do your initials spell an actual word? No.

What will you do when this survey is over? Probably a different survey, or sort the laundry if the dryer is done.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Yeah, Susie does.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? None.

What’s the weather like today? Cold, wet and pretty miserable to be honest.

Have you ever eaten a cinnamon donut? Yep. I love them, especially if they're the apple cinnammon style ones.

What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? Seven and a half years (and counting).

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Twice, occasionally three times.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? We stay at home with the dog as he doesn't like fireworks, lol.

Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? What can you hear? It's quiet enough but I can hear the dryer, my own typing and the TV.

Do you currently have any alarms set? Not at the moment.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? One.

Do you like whiskey? Honey JD is quite nice but otherwise it's not my drink of choice.

When was the last time you ate, and what did you have? I had leftover pizza and a cold sausage for lunch, lol, plus some chocolate wafer things.

[malfoysmaybank]

drivers license - stanley barber

a/n: i was having some writers block on my requests and i’ve been sobbing to this song on repeat, so here’s a fic for my bebs stanley barber. i also changed one lyric from “blonde girl” to “one girl” because it fit the plot more!

warnings: angst, you might cry (i did while writing this lols), parent absence, fluff at the end because i couldn’t break my heart with this one, but some straight angst is coming soon!!!!

word count: 1.7k+

------------------------------------------------------

You had been best friends with Stanley Barber since you were young, maybe 10. You had stood up for him when some kids were pushing him around because of his outfit. 

“Hey! Get off of him!” You said, yelling at the trio of 5th grade boys pushing another boy to the ground. “Or what, Y/N? You’ll tattle? We aren’t scared of a girl.” The leader of the pack said. You clenched your jaw and punched him straight in the nose. You weren’t going to let a man talk to you like that. The leader started crying and ran off, his sidekicks following after him. You walked over to the boy on the ground and helped him up. “T-Thanks for that.” He said as he got back up. “No problem. I’m Y/N, by the way. Y/N Y/L/N.” You extended your hand for a handshake. He took it. “Stanley. Stanley Barber.”

You’ve been close ever since. You ate lunch with him that day and  bonded over silly things like tv shows and favorite colors. In middle school, he helped you develop your style and you bonded over new things like favorite bands and books. You had his back and he had yours. He truly was your best friend.

However, you started seeing Stanley in a new light in eighth grade. He had gotten taller, his face a little more structured. He also learned how to play guitar that year. He wrote a song about you, of all things. Nobody had ever done something like that for you before. You started noticing the little things he did for you. He would randomly bring a bag of your favorite candy to lunch if he saw you were having a bad day. He taught you how to play piano because he thought it sounded nice with your voice. You fell in love with Stanley Barber. Fuck. Of course you’d NEVER tell him. You couldn’t fuck up the only good thing in your life right now. So that meant silently suffering whenever he had a crush on someone.

That’s the issue, you couldn’t be happy for him when he was with someone else. You spent countless days crying alone in your room after he’d go on for hours about his newest crush. This continued for a straight 3 years. His newest crush was Sydney Novak. You thought this one would blow over, just like his past few, but it didn’t. In fact, this one was the strongest crush he’s ever had. He’d been ditching you to hang out with her. He wasn’t even there to see you get your drivers license, something he’d been so encouraging about. He basically taught you how to drive because he knew how much it meant to you. He didn’t even know you had passed your test, never once asking. But in the sparse moments when he didn’t blow off plans, he’d constantly be talking about her. One of those sparse moments being tonight.

You were currently in his room/basement and he was going on one of his Sydney rants. “She’s so cool, Y/N. I mean, I’ve never met someone who I’ve clicked with more.” Um ouch, but whatever. “I don’t know, she’s just different. Like, in a good way though.” Three deep breaths, Y/N. 3… “We even hooked up the other night.” 2… “I think I’m in love with her.” 1. “Look Stanley, not to be rude, but do you EVER shut up about her?!” You spat. He looked over at you in shock. “I can’t do this tonight… I’m leaving.” You grab your ‘save the earth’ backpack and start jogging up the stairs to leave. 

He follows as you open the door to his garage. “Woah, woah, woah, Y/N. What’s up?” Stan calls from behind you. You grab your skateboard and lift up the garage door. It’s pouring outside, but you don’t care. You go to leave but feel a hand on your wrist stop you. “You’re not going out in weather like that, just come inside and we can talk.” He says gently, still slightly confused. “About what, Sydney again? Don’t you get it Stanley?!” You snap in his face. His eyebrows furrow and you let out a sarcastic laugh, tears building in your eyes. “Of course you don’t. You’ve been so wrapped up in Sydney that you forgot who I was! I’m so done, Stan. I can’t sit here and pretend that I don’t care anymore. Don’t bother hanging out with me anymore.” You snap and rip your wrist away from Stanley’s grip. 

You drop your board and get on, pushing as fast as you can. He calls after you but you block him out. When you’re a far distance away from him and his house, you just sit down on the side of the road and cry. Hurt that he’ll never be yours. Angry that he doesn’t care about you anymore. Frustrated because you tried to be the glue that held your friendship together, but even glue can’t fix the titanic.

You didn’t go to school for the next week. Your parents wouldn’t care, they weren’t even here. Still on some ‘business trip’ just like every week. Instead, you did something that calms you. Wrote music about how you were feeling. You played piano basically all week. Singing anything and everything you were feeling. It made you feel worse sometimes, but in the end it felt worth it.

Stan pulled into your driveway in his dad’s piece of shit car. He needed to work this out with you, he hadn’t seen you all week and he was worried. He missed his best friend. As he quietly closed the car door, he heard the piano playing. He didn’t recognize the song, he was curious. He didn’t even bother knocking, knowing you would slam the door in his face if you knew it was him. He quietly shut the front door and he heard your voice. It got louder as he walked closer to your bedroom door. He’d always loved your voice, it put him to sleep some nights. He could see you slightly, the door left ajar. He listened in.

“I got my drivers license last week,

Just like we always talked about.

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house.

But today I drove through the suburbs,

Crying 'cause you weren't around”

You sang flawlessly, not a single note out of tune. There was so much emotion behind your voice. So much hurt, anger, frustration. He continued listening, trying to find out who caused you so much hurt. He’d bash their face in, that’s for sure.

“And you're probably with that one girl

Who always made me doubt.

She's so much older than me,

She's everything I'm insecure about”

With that first line, it hit him. He’d caused this hurt. The anger, the frustration, that was him. He was so angry with himself that he almost missed the next line… almost.

“Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs,

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?”

You… you loved him? He’d spent so much time on Sydney that he hadn’t even realized what was in front of him all these years. Except he had.

“And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one.

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone.”

God damn it! He could’ve confessed sooner, instead of ignoring his feelings. And for what? A mindless hookup with Sydney?! He could’ve had you this whole time, but he fucked up.

“....Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me.”

You said that line softly. No anger, or frustration, or even confusion behind that line. Just hurt. He saw a single tear fall down your cheek as you stopped singing. There was more to that song, you just couldn’t continue. He’d be sure to ask you to sing the rest of it later, but right now he needed to fix this. You stood up from the piano bench and he burst through the door. “Stanley, what are you doi-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he wrapped his arms around you and brought your head to his chest. “I meant every word of that damn song. Every word. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” Tears flowed down your face as you tightly hugged him back and buried your face in the crook of his neck. “I love you. And I’ll be better for you. I should’ve treated you with the respect and love you deserve. I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Please give me a second chance, please.” He cried. “I love you too, Stan.” You started. “But I don’t know.” He squeezed you tighter (but still as gentle as possible, he didn’t want to hurt you), with more tears flowing out of his eyes. “Please, Y/N. I’ll be better. If I give you anything less than the love and attention you deserve, you have my full permission to punch me square in the face and kick me to the curb.” You both giggled, still crying. 

He let go of you to hold your face in his hands. “Please?” He begged. “...Okay, fine. But we need to go over how you’re going to do better in the future and what we can do to help each other communicate better and stuff.” You said. He picked you up and spun you around, making you squeal. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Y/N!! I promise I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” You laughed as he set you down and leant down to whisper in your ear. “Want to hear a secret?” He said, sending shivers down your spine. “I never liked Sydney.” He laughed as you hit his chest. “You dick!” You exclaimed, shocked. He swiftly pulled you in by the waist, your faces inches apart as your hands rested on his chest. “You love me, though.” He whispered. “That I do.” You said and finally closed the gap. Damn, you could kiss this boy forever. Alas, the moment is cut short because unfortunately, humans need oxygen to survive. “I love you too.” He says and smiles, giving you a peck on the forehead. “Could you sing the rest of that song for me? I love your voice but that songwriting was INCREDIBLE.” He says and you nod.

------------------------------------------------------

permanent taglist: 

@loonylunaandthenargles​

[suggers-got-dingled]

Seeing as Christmas is coming to save our souls and Robert Jacob Sugdens 😉 I've been re watching some old robron to get back into how amazing they are ( they still have been acting wise even tho he plot is crap) but I wanted to kno what are some of your top/fave robron moments from 2014-now ? x

anon I’m pretty sure you sent this in like October so for that I deeply apologise but is there any better time to respond than less than 24 hours before the highly anticipated ep actually begins?!?!

I THINK NOT

I HAVE SO MANY FEELS TONIGHT

(well always really but especially tonight bc i’m really weirdly emotional for some unknown reason and it’s startling me a bit)

and I can’t believe you’re making me choose my top fave moments like I can just whip them out without thinking into the depths of their earth shattering love

I’d literally be here for the entire festive period if I listed them all so I’m gonna narrow it down to ten (tough but doable)

2014... the be all and end all, the sexual frustration, the inability to stay away from each other, literally so much tension you could ferment a brand new molecule with that chemistry 

...compare it to now it’s absolutely complete sheer madness how far we’ve prospered through the good and the bad and the soul wrenching, I get quite overwhelmed that these two are still so deeply connected and nothing compares tbh

anyway I live and breathe pre affair era so let’s start this ten carefully chosen moments with that

When Aaron literally discreetly yet directly asked an engaged Robert out on a date without second thought??? like we don’t talk about that enough, before Robert actually faked a breakdown and before the first kiss of dreams, Aaron fully invited him for drinks as though they were best mates and he totally didn’t want to jump his bones lol a m a z i n g 

Hotel one. There’s just something about Aaron’s soft, content smile as he wakes up and adjusts to his surroundings by realising he’d fallen asleep with Robert’s arm round him, and those bright blue puppy dog eyes blown with lust as he gazes at Robert’s thirsty af face and only-boxer-worn bod

When Aaron’s injured in the woods after that beautiful life shifting movement where they pretty much jumped into a relationship after spending a week in Robert’s marital home together. Aaron weakly calling out for him and Robert taking off his jacket to protect his frail, cold body as he high pitch panics and tries to tell the paramedics how to do their job :’))))

The abuse era. (It counts as one solid point okay I’m making the rules now) it’s harrowing and tragic and sad but also so wholesome and tentative and genuine. Robert totally being ride or die Aaron, like he just dedicates his whole life to him without even reconsidering his actions??? It’s all so normal and natural to him, there was no ulterior motive behind it, it was just Robert wanting Aaron to be ok and healthy, Aaron slowly growing to trust Robert again as he recognises Robert’s devotion, framing a best friend who have always been and are still in love but it’s not right to act on it dynamic  “I’LL WAIT FOR YOU, TILL YOU’RE READY!!!!”, the pivotal reveal itself god it wrecks me every time AND THAT DAMN PLACEMENT OF THE BLANKET... high and mighty Robert Sugden sleeping on a hard floor all night because he wanted to be beside him MAXINE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING

SUPER SOAP WEEK THE LITERAL HIGHLIGHT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. This also counts as one, soz. The entire proposal mid argument as Aaron fails to recognise what may be happening even though an engagement ring is literally thrown in his face lmao just pure, golden, completely, absolutely robron. Robert revealing his biggest secret to the love of his life??? coming out to him for the first time???? he poured his heart out and Aaron’s heart exploded in return. Aaron’s quiver of his lip and teary eyes as Robert tells him about the farm hand, Robert looking away, Aaron having an outburst of love for the first time in forever bc all these feelings spilled out of him in such an intimate moment and he was determined to let Robert know how amazing he was bc it’s what he needed to hear!! the underwater scene of almost death (and literal death on my part)... do not even talk to me about that, thank you. The hospital bedside scene on the Friday - Robert squashed and curled up in a heap on that tiny chair in the corner, adamant he wasn’t going anywhere, not even home to change out of those dirty lake water garments bc no way was he leaving Aaron again, “Rob... Robert”, the fluff ruffle, the constant heart eyes, the second segment of the proposal where Robert was unwavering in his love for Aaron, telling him he’s all he wants, that soft little double kiss as he dove back in bc one literally wasn’t enough, the beaming smiles, the soft voices. It was all so wonderfully sweet and romantic??? every part of it bound them together and showed just how much they invented the word love like????? EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN RIGHT THEN JUST HOW MUCH THEY BOTH MEANT TO EACH OTHER AND HOW MUCH THEY KNOW EACH OTHER INSIDE OUT I would die for that week tbh

Pub quiz. A* content, and surprise content which made it even better. Working as a team to prove just how disgustingly bonded they are??? the playful fun and the gags and the impish comments, Robert calling everyone else but him and Aaron a peasant, Aaron saying his super suave fiance is now Hugh Grant because he buys his crisps in a tube, the signature tickling, the hug, the whispering in the ear, generally being the best most victorious and powerful couple in that goddamn village

The wedding vows in the garage. A dirty, oil stained garage where they first fucked, where the journey to soulmates began. That moment where Aaron was giggling at the whole bizarre ordeal that hadn’t really sunk in and then Robert said his name and his face just completely changes???? oh my god it ruins me absolute sentimental idiots who are so bloody in love with one another so much so that the rest of the world is blocked out and if there was to be an apocalypse they’d still be there savouring the moment

Goodbye scene. For obvious reasons. I don’t even need to say anymore do I?!?! 

The mill reveal. To say the ons literally tore me in two, this episode was just stunningly directed and “my beautiful husband who I love” was born so nothing else matters really

A romantic picnic to aid my devastation. Robert just wanted to take Aaron out to take his mind off everything he’d been through and he literally just sat there on a blanket reminding him how he’s never had better??? the softest realest shit™

and one more to add bc it isn’t appreciated enough: when Robert was rooting through Bernice’s handbag that time during his mild scheming and he was so sure he’d fooled Aaron with his “I just wanted a tissue” makes me wee every time GIVE ROBRON MORE COMEDY 2k18