#so it's unfair to put all the blame on Emmers

[bethanydelleman]

Jane Fairfax and Emma Woodhouse have never been friends. Mr. Knightley says it's because Emma is jealous, but she doesn't act jealous. She is quick to praise Jane's accomplishments (when they aren't being bragged about by Miss Bates) and prior to age 8, Jane would not have had a good education. The only time she is somewhat jealous is when she's slightly worried that Knightley might actually like Jane. So why weren't the girls friends then in childhood? We know they grew up together until Jane left to live with the Campbells.

I think Miss Bates is probably a huge reason, Emma cannot stand her and her constant bragging about Jane. Even without jealousy, that would get old very quickly. I mean we all know this lady, who brags about their family member, it's awful. So being friends with Jane is a package deal of seeing Miss Bates far more often.

Secondly, children hate being told to be friends with someone, adults hate it too. Everyone always saying Emma and Jane should be best friends just because they are the same age gives me flashbacks to forced friendships in my own childhood. It rarely works.

Thirdly, this is a two way street and Jane gives nothing. Emma tries, she makes a resolution that it will be better this time and is met with vague, short responses. Now was Emma being somewhat nosey? Yes. But she wants to hear about Weymouth and gets almost nothing. It's natural to talk about a trip! It doesn't even seem like Jane offers another subject:

She was, besides, which was the worst of all, so cold, so cautious! There was no getting at her real opinion. Wrapt up in a cloak of politeness, she seemed determined to hazard nothing. She was disgustingly, was suspiciously reserved.

However, I think the real problem is the social discrepancy between Jane and Emma. We know Jane thinks about it; she brings up her fate frequently. Emma doesn't even need to marry, Jane is to be a governess. She is at the bottom of the gentry and Emma is near the very top. The only time in the novel that Jane comfortably talks to Emma is when her engagement is finally public and secure and she has assumed Emma's level in society.

And that makes sense! Emma is supposed to act like Miss/Mrs. Bates is an equal (roughly) but she sends the women charity food and transportation. It is inherently awkward. It's actually no wonder they've never been friends.

I hope you enjoyed my random, jumbled TedTalk.