#so seeing everyone's social media posts about happy family time is a fucking bummer

[killerchickadee]

Like, you try not to be resentful and bitter that everyone else is spending time with their family right now, and you're just chilling alone in your apartment as always. Like. That's an effort.

But sometimes it isn't easy.

But you try anyway cause you don't want to be That Guy and also being resentful and bitter doesn't do you any good.

[smutty-ki113r]

hi it’s me🦦! i’m so glad you’re back we all really missed you. i guess i have a few updates to share but they are kinda long so brace yourself!

1. i’ve been feeling so envious lately and i know it’s normal and it happens to everyone but i just feel so weird man! i guess it’s a mix of a lot of different things with my friends that , that’s why i’m feeling this way. plus i just feel shitty from it because i know i should be happy for them, and i completely am, but i wish that same energy would come my way as well:/ it sounds selfish but it’s how i feel

2. i took a break from posting on my tumblr blog and no one noticed…i haven’t really been in the right mental state and fuck dude i decided it was best for me to take a break from posting on tumblr. i posted an update like 4-5 days ago saying how i was taking a break and if anyone needed me to clear up any questions they had on any requests they may have sent it and nope no one replied, no one cared, and. don’t even think people saw it:/ it kinda hurts because i’m not expecting people to send me anon shit but at least one person could have like it so i knew that my message was out their and that my followers know! so i’m kinda upset about all that stuff

3. more on a positive note my stationary should be coming in hopefully today or tomorrow! i’m very excited about that. it will be something to cheer myself up.

4. lately i’ve been just super bummed out and i just want to disappear! i doubt anyone would noticed though and i just want to crawl into a ball and cry. i feel as if i’m alone and i like my alone time but i’m starting to feel like a burden to my friends and if i’m being honest i feel like they secretly feel like that too. like they wouldn’t say anything to me but i feel like i do constantly bother them. i just don’t get excited doing stuff anymore. i feel so out of it that i just get excited for the night so i can just lay in bed and try to forget all my problems:/ i’m just drained and i feel so alone.

well sorry for the bummer rant i hope you have a great day though! ta ta🦦

You can ALWAYS rant to me- whenever you want! Its never a burden.

Ya know, ive learned that what seems like amazing and great for other people who have hurt you, it only lasts so long. Those people will only get whats really coming for them. And i know how it feels, cause why is that FAIR. I’ve been feeling super jealous too, I tend to. Literally it’s so stupid cause the person I like, a bunch of people like too 🤡 and I get super self conscious cause I start comparing myself-

It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that in retrospect this is just a social media platform, and its so so easy to get obsessed and addicted. I know I am at least, but your followers and the people on here aren’t usually thinking about you all the time, trust me I used to check my asks like 10000 times in an hour to see if this ONE person responded. A much as I hate to say it, if you don’t have a large following platform yet there is chance that not a lot of people are gonna regularly check your blog. I had to get to around 300 before i started getting anons and things like that.

IM SO EXCITED FOR UR STAITONARY YAY!!

Honestly that last paragraph I FELT!!! I mean on top of the fact that im about to get on my time of the month I also have these insane problems with my family atm AND it’s the retrograde starting today, so just a warning. Blame it on Jupiter. You’re not alone I promise, I used to feel like that a lot until I developed a strange sort of bond with myself that I never talk about cause I feel like people will tell me im literally crazy. Literally break, take a BREAK. From everything and just chill. Its actually super helpful.

ANYWAY LOVE U