#so that's why i have trouble having faith. of course dragons aren't real but that's neither here nor there

[weepylucifer]

Hey. I've really been thinking about my faith and just like, religions in general lately so I wanna ask people whose opinions I care about some stuff. Like, are you or were you ever spiritual and/or religious? How do you feel about organised religion as a whole? If you don't mind sharing that is

Firstly, it is wild to think that I'm someone whose opinions someone cares about. Kneejerk reaction to reading that was "is this some kind of copypasta or bot" bc generally nobody has ever cared what views I have on anything in the world. Maybe this is a copypasta or bot and I'll see a post about "the copypasta that asks people their religion!!" later and feel embarrassed for answering. Or maybe it's some kind of bait. Still, if you're a real person out here... of all the blogs you had to walk into mine (I said this in a gritty noir detective voice)

Probably I'm going to be unhelpful here bc my relationship to religion is extremely vague. I'm a natural doubter, and raised by atheists, so I feel a bit ridiculous when trying to pray or observe religious "rites" (for lack of a better word)... it feels like talking to something that'll never reply, bc maybe it's not there? Or doesn't exist on a level similar enough to talk/have any tangible influence on my life?

On the other hand, I wish I could buy into the whole thing enough to allow earnest, wholehearted spiritual belief into my world. People who rest secure in their faith are people whom I kind of envy! My mother always speaks of religion as inherently oppressive and ridiculous and I think it's a really annoying, narrow-minded viewpoint. Ideally, organized religion without oppression can be and should be completely possible. Maybe it means churches have to distance themselves from missionizing, bc the root of all ill that's done in the name of religion (any) seems to be trying to force it on people who don't want it. I'm in no ways an expert.

Was I ever adherent to a religion... I tried. I was/am Luciferian. I started this as a teen, for all the typical reasons edgy teens become Satanists. I revisit it sometimes now, because all flavors of Satanism are such artifical, made-up constructs that they demand no certainty of me, and I think that's funny and fascinating. For many, it's more an attitude towards the self than a belief that the devil is real. I live with that as the little spark of magic I allow myself without becoming a fuckin internet witch. Sometimes I try to act like Lucifer is real and listening, bc why not at this point, and I wear my sigil necklace when I'm out and about, and I let my general pro-devil-stance inform my literary analysis which I hope to make my career. And I generally try to live my life in a way that would intrigue a heretic angel. Idk if that's the same thing as believing.

That's more or less my story. Not very helpful to anyone on the search for clarity in their faith, I reckon, because I have no clarity to offer. The question of "how do I stand on religion" is one I constantly put off dealing with. If I have any advice at all, it's that the thinking human is always beset by doubt and controversy. It's fine to not be 100% certain in what you're doing. It's fine to be in negotiations with your faith or your deity. Religion is for humankind, like society and law, we created it to help us. It exists for us, we do not exist (only) in service to it. In the end, what you gotta know is, "Does believing [x] or following [y] add something to my life that I think is worthwhile? Does it help me somehow? Does the help outweigh any harm that might exist?"