#so true so real but consider: i am like five centimetres away from killing myself still right now no joke no exaggeration fsdjkfl
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fighting back a complete panicked breakdown bc i am so behind on schoolwork and i feel like i dont know what im doing anymore in any of this aaaaaaa
#im one day ahead of being a full week behind so like. not the worst it could be but im feeling dizzy from being so panicky arr eye pee#i think i give up on getting the practicum done#i cannot organize having a business in place to do my practicum at so like. rest in peace fhdsgjkl idk#i am not good at dealing with businesses and interviews and admin type stuff :''))) and ik its like ''well then get out of ur comfort zone'#''you have to work on that! just go do it and you'll get better at it!!''#so true so real but consider: i am like five centimetres away from killing myself still right now no joke no exaggeration fsdjkfl#i am quite literally never in my comfort zone! i am at incredibly high distress levels ConstantlyTM!#''just because you have xyz disabilities doesnt mean u shouldnt try! never say never!'' im not saying never though fsdjkl#i just know that CURRENTLY i cannot do it. i simply cannot. that is just how it is. i am doing what i can to keep myself alive rn lol#god i feel so ill fsdhgjkl i wish i could stop being dizzy and nauseous so often#also i am having issues w taste fsdjkl everything either tastes bad immediately or leaves a bad taste in my mouth afterwards#if i can taste anything at all :''')))) argh argh argh#okay back to working on college stuff lol going to try to get two chapters done today so i can stay one day ahead of being a week behind#i will NOT be having a breakdown today please god i do not want that#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#suicide mention
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