#sobbing into my hands because I'm so normal about my blorbos

[sparrowmoth]

Jay and Evie in Evie's Wicked Runway, Book 1

Please don't repost my scans.

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.reddit.com/r/Supernatural/s/NwUjmZnu8u

Hellers on reddit

"

I never thought I had to write this but I feel this topic hasn't been properly discussed. Every time I watch supernatural, especially these last seasons, I get so frustrated by this issue and I don't know how people feel about this. Because, how I see it, there is a Cas that's trying to do anything in his hand to protect the Winchesters, making mistakes or not, but I don't feel that it's reciprocated by them, at least not always. And especially Dean.

Dean's behaviour towards Cas is an issue itself. He has a very complicated and deep relationship with Cas, or at least he is supposed to have. I feel like Dean can sometimes be such a jerk towards the angel for no reason, even though what he might have done is not a big deal. The problem is, every time Cas dies, Dean is absolutely devastated and feels like he has lost the love of his life (which is more than reasonable), but when he somehow comes back to life, Dean goes back to "normal" and his tough guy attitude towards Cas resumes. Look, I really like Dean, and I get that he has been through a lot throughout his life, but Sam has also been through hell (lol) and he happens to be much nicer and empathetic. What I'm trying to say is that Dean cannot be a jerk to Cas and then cry over his dead body, because, honestly, that's just toxic.

Take the example of Mary's death. Dean blamed Cas for that even though the three of them knew how dangerous Jack could become. And then basically he became passive aggressive with him because he couldn't forgive him for something he didn't do (why is Dean so grumpy in the last seasons tho?). Cas is one of my favourite characters, and I love his innocence and his unconditional love for Dean (and Sam), but I also love an angel who knows their worth and who can smite the hell out of everything. Badass Cas is amazing but I feel we gradually started losing that aspect as the seasons went by. And that's why I loved 15x03 because Cas finally confronted Dean and decided to "move on". And even though I liked what they did in 15x09, I sometimes felt that Dean didn't deserve Cas. He was always there for the brothers but it looks like they took him for granted, or that he was just being used, and it's really frustrating to watch.

This is one of the reasons why I believe there should be a reboot. There has to be an actual conclusion to these characters' relationship, be it platonic or romantic. I need Cas to be properly loved, not some bullshit subtle "we care about you, pal" kind of thing.

Yeesh. That's A Lot.

Like, Sam and Dean also have fans who are convinced their poor helpless blorbo has never done anything wrong ever and is just So Wronged by everyone and the narrative at every single turn? But I swear it's harder to find Castiel fans that aren't like that. Then again, it's hard to find Castiel fans anymore that aren't hellers, which I think is definitely linked.

We could talk yet again about what a load of utter fanon horseshit it is to describe Dean's affect when Castiel dies as "absolutely devastated like he lost the love of his life". For the pure absurd exaggeration of how they take one single canon shot of Dean looking sad and then write thousands upon thousands of words "interpreting" it and thereafter consider their fanfic of Dean sobbing in devastation for hours over Jimmy's empty corpse actual canon. For how sometimes it's just plain obviously not true (pie festival lol). For the fact when he is genuinely upset there's ALWAYS other more devastating shit going on they pretend to be blind to so they can pretend it's ALL about Cass (the Leviathan/Bobby's death, Mary being sucked into Apocaworld/dealing with Jack, Chuck going full evil, etc.). But instead, this time, let's stick with the theme of poor wronged Castiel, Dean is so MEEN *sob*.

It's not just that the angel is "making mistakes or not" it's that he is consistently time after time after time? Making the exact same fundamental mistake: going behind the Winchesters' backs to "protect them" by keeping vital information from them or outright fucking things up worse by trying to handle shit on his own. After which he generally either tries to run away or share out the responsibility of fixing it to them. Gee, I wonder why they aren't oozing with gratitude?

Let's take the example of Mary's death, to start with. Yeah, they all know that Jack's gradually becoming dangerous. But only one of them knows that he is already at the point of killing a pet dangerous. It's stupid to pretend that's not an obvious, major escalation. But Castiel decides not to tell anybody it. That's a choice he makes, something he very much DID do. You know, kinda like how he wasn't really honest about how bad things were all through season 6 and his plans with Crowley. Kinda like how he decided instead of trying to go back and fix the mess he'd made of heaven, he decided to stay behind in Purgatory but lie to Dean about it. Nothing at all terrible came of those stupid-ass "protective" decisions, nope! No reason at all to be pissed off at his terminal inability to learn from his mistakes!

Which doesn't even get into how he was the one that let Sam out of the panic room, but berated the Winchesters for their part in setting Lucifer free without ever mentioning his own. Or how his first impulse after getting his memories back wasn't actually to heal Sam, whose wall/sanity he intentionally tore down in the first place as a distraction, but to run away. (There's a reason Cass stans/hellers frequently seem to be entirely amnesiac about just how Sam's wall broke.) Then there's how he decided he couldn't trust the Winchesters with the angel tablet. Don't forget that he could hear Claire constantly praying for help for years and did nothing. Or my personal favorite, how he went behind the Winchesters' backs to let Lucifer possess him and escape the Cage after all they went through to put the archangel there without a fucking single word of warning to his supposed friends that he's sooooo concerned with protecting! Then there's stealing the Colt and leaving them unprotected and unconscious outside the portal to Heaven. I'm not even going to touch all the whining he did in the final seasons about wanting to be a hero. I know there's more, but the point is, gee, what a faultless, helpful guy!

My overall point is not even that Castiel is The Worst. He's not the only character who makes stupid-ass decisions. I think there are, in some cases, understandable mitigating factors (YMMV)! However, given the amount of times he ran off on some whim of his own and went totally incommunicado or the Winchesters had to clean up a mess he made (or just made worse)? Framing his role in the show as if he was "always there for the brothers" (remember how when he said that the point was he was lying?) and was soooo uniquely underappreciated? Frankly, they showed plenty of appreciation for him by continuing to count him as family/a friend and ultimately forgiving him over and over. Rather than, you know, stabbing him through the neck like they would have literally anyone else who fucked them over so routinely as he did while supposedly trying to "help" and "protect" them.

[weird-dere-writes]

The way I would SHOVE Sakura out of the way and be in your space like 🙂 “correction. Nirei isn’t his friend he’s MY Bestfriend 🙂🙂🙂.”

I see you glance his way a second time and I’m just sipping punch and spouting off facts like “he’s single. a virgo. could save your life with his type O blood. Do you wanna say hi? 🙂🙂🙂”

Sakura has to literally drag my nosy ass away when Akihiko makes his rounds to chat up everyone and comes to politely introduce himself to you when he doesn’t recognize your face. He gets excited about the outfit you wore to the party and starts asking you questions about where you shop/and is genuinely interested in learning more about your vibes.

I’m like the grinch smiling watching your meet cute unfold rubbing my hands together like a grubby little fly on the wall while sakura is shoving me out the door so he can get his one on one time with me aksnsjkwjw

No but seriously, akihiko nirei is my blorbo bestie fr TELL ME MOREEEE 👀

PLSSSSS KAIL UR GONNA KILL ME LMAO

The more you spit random facts about him, the more I want to hide, bc I know if you're doing that I am obvious to you! And if you can tell, then probably others at the party can too!! 😖

"Do you wanna say hi?"

YES.

But also NO.

I am just a baby I cannot do this 🫣.

I finally get a breather when Sakura pulls you away ONLY TO HAVE MY HEART JUMP UP INTO MY THROAT WHEN AKIHIKO MATERIALIZES OUT OF NOWHERE.

Something about the way he introduces himself calms me, though. And when he starts gushing about my outfit, I feel flattered because I wasn't sure it was dressed right for this kind of party? I'm just a soft girly in a slay world.

(Le fit)

When he asks me about where I shop, I tell him I don't shop much, but when I do, I go to (insert place here). A lot of the stuff they have is cute and actually fits a body like mine! And he just lights up because that is one of his favorite places to get clothes and accesories too!

He tells me a funny story about something that happened to him there one time and my eyes just about pop put of my sockets laughing because I realize I was actually there at the time to witness this silly thing happen. And I'm just like "OMG WAIT- that was you?!"

And he hits me back with a "OMG WAIT- you saw that?!"

And we're both just smiling and laughing about it.

I'm enjoying myself so much I don't even notice the grubby fly hand rubbing aura that I normally 100% would from miles away emanating from you LMAO.

From there, we kinda just start talking and sticking to one another for most of the party (except for when bofurin boys drag him away for something, but he always comes back).

At some point during the party I notice you and Haruka are gone and I have that same energy of grinch smile and grubby fly hand rubbing, knowing EXACTLY what you two are doing but as BF and GF now >:DDDDDDD. Me making a mental note in my head to tease u and ask about all the details later 😏.

BUT N E WAY. As the party is wrapping up, Nirei tells me he thinks I'm really pretty and I get so bashful about it sobs. Since you and Haruka are still long gone in the high heavens of the bone zone somewhere (pffft), Nirei offers to take me home <3.

We exchange numbers and have started texting here and there since then uwu 🫶🏾.