#solution one: eat so fucking slow. go there at like 1:45 and eat for an hour

[birdmenmanga]

bro (the meds I was prescribed) really expects me to sleep for 7.5 hours

[crit1rael]

Aaaaand Again

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Closest to their age group would be their older sister, Ed’hel, but they’re not close anymore. They were reasonably close - Ed’hel wasn’t around for long, but Rael quickly took to them because they were the only one close to their age around.

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Rael had a very good relationship with their mother. Rael basically did what they were told when they were told - they were very obedient - but Rael also genuinely respected Faelen’s talents and what she was capable of.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Similar to that of their relationship with Faelen. Merith was just as quiet, if not more so, than Rael, so it was frustrating to try and communicate at times, but they had a quiet understanding of one another.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

Feltas. It was really bad all around. They hated everything about it and came out of it feeling older than they did, to the point that they immediately declared themselves an adult. The rest of the party experienced it with them.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Left belt pouch: treats for Sai. Right belt pouch: components for Hail of Thorns and other magical arrows. Left pants pocket: some feathers they picked up. Right pants pocket: a small skull they found and intend to give to Fatal.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

Nothing prophetic, and they don’t generally remember their dreams. They don’t dream a whole lot at all - they meditate instead of sleeping.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

See above.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Not yet, but soon!

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Not really. They’re homeless, by choice, but they have a sum of money back home.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

They don’t care much either way. Clothing is functional, sometimes it’s a hindrance. Depends on the situation, but they’re not a prude about it.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

The Shadowfell - this was partially (mostly?) due to Shadowfell sickness, but they solidly believed they were going to die.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Taking the final shot at the troll they fought in Feltas.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

No.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

Definitely faces, mostly because if it’s not someone they care about, they also don’t care to remember their name.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

No. It just doesn’t really matter to them. As long as they can eat, fend for themselves, and survive without money, they’re fine without money. They would care more if it was more a requirement for day-to-day life - if they moved back home and restarted the farm, they’d be frugal.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

Success. You can’t measure happiness. Success is more fulfilling for them.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

A little cat ragdoll - it was supposed to be a lynx, but it was badly sewn by Faelen. It was lumpy, and they loved it, because they couldn’t carry around an actual lynx.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Both, depending on the situation. Evil ambition? Bad. They lean towards wisdom a bit more.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Blind trust. Their blind trust in Ed’hel actually helped her in hurting Rael’s family - Rael found her in the woods, thought she needed help, and convinced their family to take her in. Ed’hel was running away from an entity that was looking for her, and in her time with Rael’s family, she was slowly growing more powerful as a sorcerer. The entity was chasing her and it was its drawing closer that caused the blight on Rael’s family’s farm. Ed’hel was about to leave when the entity found her - she tried to reason with it for her own life, and traded Rael’s family to save herself. She is likely working for that entity now. Rael doesn’t know that it destroyed their relationship.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Self-criticism. They hate their lack of vocabulary, eloquence, and people skills, and seeing that in others frustrates them.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

It depends. If it’s a social situation, they’re likely to blame the person who’s mad at them, but generally, when they fuck up, they’re aware of it.

22. What does your character like in other people?

Bluntness and honesty.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Holier-than-thou attitudes.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

After the con artist incident - and a couple of other similar ones… in rapid succession… they trust no one and nothing immediately. It takes a long time.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

It definitely changes. They are suspicious of people in general. If they’re close, they give more benefit of the doubt.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Patient, to a point. They don’t know how to deal with children in distress, though. It freaks them out and they try to remove themselves from the situation.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Aggression. They’ll try to avoid it, but if it’s not avoidable, they don’t really know another way. If others are depending on them - in a diplomatic situation, for example - they try to stay quiet because they know they might mutter something detrimental.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

If they’re by themselves and don’t have a group that is relying on their silence to stay alive, then they are very quick to resort to violence.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

They assumed they would inherit the farm and expand it to have more animals - basically they wanted to warden the whole forest nearby.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Undead.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Tracking, hunting, survival activities, foraging, leading people through an area they recognize, navigating wilderness… they just like being in nature. There are probably better rangers in the world, but Rael is pleased with what they can do.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Fancy gala. They’re not good at diplomacy, tact, dressing up… none of it is their strong suit.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

It depends on who’s giving the criticism and what it is about. Generally, defensive.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

If it didn’t work in the same instance, e.g. shooting a bugbear because they’re resistant to damage, they would try it again just to make sure, then move on to a different solution.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

If they like them in that they are attracted to them, they get stupid - try to impress them and normally fail, because they’re putting on a front. Around friends, they’re just more relaxed and joke around more. They feel more able to be themselves.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Blunt, aggressive, defiant.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Defending their honor. They don’t really have any status. Even if they did, they would be more concerned with protecting their owner - deeds reflect who you are as a person.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

Depends on the problem. If the problem is a social one, they remove themselves. If it’s a monster of a bad guy, they remove the problem.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Yes, plenty, whether hunting and finishing off a kill or by Sai during normal handling. It never affected them mentally, and wounds heal. The only exception is the purple worm.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

As well as they can. They try to tip well.

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

There’s no real “deserve” about it, but if they work towards something, they do feel they should have it.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

No.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Sai and Ravi.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

They can’t say it without meaning it, and it’s very difficult. They’ve never said it to anyone except for their parents.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

They become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass, and thus, we are all connected, in the great circle of life. It’s not something that scares them.

[terselylove]

50 Ways To Be A Better Boyfriend

1. I may hang out with your friends like one of the guys or play video games like one of the guys, but I am not one of the guys. I am your girlfriend. Give me attention outside of hanging with your friends, do things with me other than what you like to do with your friends, and spend quality time with me away from your friends. Not as a special treat, not as a holiday surprise, but as a normal part of our relationship.

2. If she’s complaining, or venting, it’s not always because she wants advice or a solution. Sometimes all that’s needed is to vent. So, in those situations, just let her vent.

3. Do not forget to tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful. I feel like so many guys forget to do this. Specially after they’ve been with a girl for a while. Girls love to be reminded that you’re still attracted to them. It goes a long way and it’ll always make her happy.

4. Plan out unique dates! Don’t leave it all up to her. And offer back rubs without wanting anything in return.

5. Know where the clitoris is, and how your partner likes hers to be simulated. Remember that MOST women do not get off through vaginal penetration.

6. Explain how you feel. We want to know what you’re feeling.

7. A “how are you?” text and a “thinking about you!” text etc goes a long way!

8. Hugs and affection with no ulterior motive. Sometimes I like to be held with out feeling like he’s wanting to fuck me.

9. Learn to cook. Not just one very slow to prepare meal. Learn to cook decent meals that can be prepared “normally” during a weekday. Learn to cook without making the kitchen look like a war zone.

10. Do your share of household chores. Don’t ask or expect a medal for doing household chores once or twice. It is a routine. Just own the task and keep doing it. Remember that since you are doing something it is easy for you to remember you did it and that this makes you overestimate the amount of chores you are being responsible for.

11. You guys should be a team, not just you. This helps in arguments. Remind yourself you are a team and that you shouldn’t bring your own teammate down.

12. Pay attention to what she says and remember the little things.

13. GENUINE COMPLIMENTS theres been so many times I get especially dressed up thinking “my boyfriend is going to think I look nice!” and then I see him and he doesn’t compliment me! Even when I know I look good because other guys hit on me, it would be nice if my boyfriend could hit on me for once.

14. Just keep your girl up to date on things if you’re having a busy day. It keeps them less worried and making sure you are safe.

15. When I ask you what do you want me to cook for dinner, please don’t say “I don’t know!” Sometimes men can be as bad as women are portrayed when deciding what to eat!

16. Pay attention when she is talking. Active listening. Don’t be on your phone when out to dinner. Communication. Honesty. And yes pay attention to the little things. Do what you say your going to do. Share your interests. Be authentic.

17. Biggest thing for me is to just do what you say you’re going to do. Nothing more, nothing less.

18. Be honest about how you feel about literally everything instead of allowing small things to build up resentment in your heart and then break up over something small. Like just be honest if something she does like a quirk bothers you, communicate what you like and don’t like so she can have the chance to at least compromise or adjust. And then if she doesn’t care for your feelings you can break up. Way too often men don’t communicate and expect us to read their minds, then say they fell out of love over some petty crap.

19. Think for yourselves. Don’t relay on your partner to carry the mental load. Wash basket GETTING full? Do some washing then get it dry and then put it away. Your partner shouldn’t be directing you to do everyday chores. You should see it needs doing and do it. You shouldn’t have to ask if your partner needs help with the cleaning, you should be doing it together. It’s called being a team.

This works both ways obviously.

20. Don’t compliment them by saying things like ‘you look so much better in that dress that other girl ever would’ – compliment them without making them feel like they are being constantly compared (even if they do come out on top).

21. Remember that women like to orgasm too!

22. Learn their love language, I would say. What makes them feel most appreciated or most loved? Not every girl wants the same thing (as is evident in this thread) but it comes down to one of the big 5. Words of affirmation, physical touch, gift giving, acts of service/devotion, or quality time.

23. Don’t make her feel like your mom.

A lot of guys I know say something to the effect of, “If you just ask I’ll do the dishes/put laundry away, etc.”

Well we don’t want to be your mom and make you do these things. Rather when you notice something needs to be done, do it. Trust me, we will notice!

24. If she asks you to stop doing something or do something more, LISTEN. Even if you don’t agree, compromise on something you both can work with.

25. Honestly, get excitable. Nothing kills a conversation like when a man tries to look cool and not geek out when they want to. Seeing a dude get excited over their interests is adorable

26. Affirm your affection for them by saying nice things, or qualities you like about them. “You’re so….” “I love that you do that.” Anything that shows your reassurance that they are the best.

27. If you’re getting irritated with us, please calmly explain why. Or if we are trying to bring up what’s bothering us, please don’t get defensive and then flip the blame on us. Otherwise, it makes us feel like we’re just a nuisance to you. I get that communication is a learned skill that requires experience. In short- encouraging & practicing open, honest, and respectful communication on both sides.

28. Don’t lie or hide things from her. She knows, she always knows because she knows you so well she can tell when you are being shifty. Just be open and honest and vulnerable. She will love you the more for it.

29. When you’re in the store, don’t call and ask what to bring. Hopefully you have paid attention and know what she likes/what the household needs and just bring that. Or google a recipe and buy the ingredients. Maybe shoot a text and say “I think I’ve got it covered, but here’s your chance for requests, I’m in the store”. Be pro-active, don’t force her into supervisor mode constantly.

30. The #1 thing all successful healthy relationships need is mutual respect. Do some research on what it’s like to live in society as a woman and make sure you’re not contributing to how hard it can be.

31. Don’t mention exes.

32. Date someone you’re happy with and don’t have to make “better.” If you need something, communicate what you need. If someone is doing something that bothers you, let them know in a kind way and include a solution that could work for both of you. If you want something done by the other person, let them know your time frame up front. For example, can you please do the dishes before I get home from work today, I want to have an empty sink when I cook dinner tonight. Not just do the dishes.

33. Don’t laugh when I’m frustrated no matter how “cute” it is.

34. Cut your goddamn nails my dudes you don’t need mountain peaks at the tips of your fingers.

35. I’m a big believer in equity theory. Do as much for her as she does for you! If you don’t she’ll end up feeling unappreciated, unassured, and questioning why she’s with someone who doesn’t put in the same as she does. Even recognition, a thank you, and some flowers goes a long way. But it’s still important to show how much you care about her in your actions.

36. My husband sends me little gifs online when he sees one that he thinks I’d like. It always makes me smile because he was thinking about me enough to find something I’d smile at and send it.

37. We don’t always need you fixing solutions, sometimes we want to be heard and vent.

38. Don’t put women in a box. Men tend to compartmentalize things and have figurative boxes in their heads in which they keep all the things in their life. That’s great, but not for relationships. You can’t take your significant other out of that box and play with them only when you want to. You always need to be there for your gf and sometimes that means making time when you weren’t expecting her to need you.

39. Don’t tell her what to do, she is her own person. Don’t try to control her. Be supportive of her dreams and aspirations (even if you don’t necessarily agree with them).

40. This could go either way, but reciprocate everything. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your S.O doing.

41. Randomly say “I love you”. No context, no nothing, just say it.

42. Take her seriously when she talks about her health. And if she needs to go to a hospital and allows you to come along, be prepared to advocate for her.

43. My grandpa thanked my grandma for the delicious meal after every. Single. Meal. that she cooked for him.

Don’t get so used to your partner that you stop noticing and showing gratitude for the lovely things they do for you.

44. If a woman is in a bad mood – NEVER – I repeat – NEEEEEEVER ask if she’s got her period!

45. Stop caring about your looks and just try to be more hygienic. For real you people care too much about how you look and you smell awful.

46. Don’t fucking cheat.

47. Affirmations and validation work well.

48. Communicate instead of yelling. I have made a pact with myself to never be with a person ever again who doesn’t make an effort to communicate with me. It’s paid off immensely and I’m super happy with a wonderful man now who I never argue with, when all my previous relationships were torrentially toxic and abusive. I’m not saying not arguing ever is normal, but it definitely isn’t normal when people yell and cuss as a communicative norm.

49. Just take a moment to reflect on what conversations you’re having and what you’re bringing to them. I know there’s this idea that your partner is the person you can vent to but is that all you’re doing? Try to be mindful that your partner also has difficult times; are you as available to listen to them as they are for you? Do all (or even most) of your conversations turn into a back and forth of complaints about work/traffic/etc.? Are those complaints really worth the time you’re dedicating to them?

I recently suggested to my boyfriend that, hey, let’s make the bed a no-complaining zone. I brought it up because every single night I would find myself just laying in the dark rolling my eyes as he went on and on about the same issues with the same coworkers every single night. Even nights when he didn’t work would end up this way.

Now we have a rule of “if this is really something that you want to talk about right this moment, we’ll go sit on the sofa and talk.” It gives you a moment to just consider if it’s really that big of an issue or not. What he’s found is that usually it’s not worth it, and I’ve seen a positive change in him. He seems happier now that he’s not dwelling on small stuff.

50. Surprise her sometimes by remembering something you shared and calling back to it.

[coltabigail]

Character Development Questions: Hard Mode

1.      Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

·         No, but she is closest to her younger brother, Mikey and the youngest, Alyssa.

2.      What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

·         Her relationship with her mother was close, if anything, her saving grace.

3.      What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

·         Her relationship with her father was rocky. Between training and being gone on hunts, she didn’t know what kind of mood he would be in, but she loved him reguardless.

4.      Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

·         Yes, the death of her family. The only people who know about it is her uncle Charlie, and the Winchesters post-YED.

5.      On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

·         Empty gum wrappers, a multi-tool like a Leatherman, lock-pick set, extra magazines for her pistol, and her pistol.

6.      Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

·         It’s sporadic, almost prophetic.

7.      Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

·         Yes, her family and John’s death. The YED and mentions of Hell.

8.      Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

·         Yes, she’s a hunter! Her first target was a handmade cutout of a werewolf done by her dad and John.

9.      Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

·         Definitely. Abigail went from staying at home, protecting the kids to living a nomadic life in motels, differentiating for days to weeks at a time, and hustling pool/poker/darts to earn money (even though she has access to her parent’s money via her uncle).

10.  Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

·         It doesn’t matter. She goes with whatever feels comfortable to her. During the summer, it’s less, due to crappy air conditioning in the motels, during the winter, it’s more due to crappy heating.

11.  In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

·         One instance was watching her family die, and the most recent was when the YED possessed John, in turn, hurting her (and her unborn child) severely.

12.  In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

·         When Sam was possessed by Meg.

13.  Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

·         No. She sees blood almost on a daily basis.

14.  Does your character remember names or faces easier?

·         Definitely faces.

15.  Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

·         Material, because several things she holds very close to her, such as her mother’s jewelry and her father’s car, as well as John’s machete.

16.  Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

·         Success. She learned from a young age that success came first before happiness, even though her daughter’s happiness is more important than hers.

17.  What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

·         Abigail’s favorite toy as a child was a stuffed dog her parents had gotten her while they were on a hunt. It’s long been gone, but it holds a special place in her heart.

18.  Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

·         Wisdom, every time.

19.  What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

·         I think one flaw of hers that she thinks ruins her past relationships is her views on herself. She has very low self-esteem while others around her (Sam and Dean) think otherwise. In past relationships, pre-being with Dean, it has. Several ex-boyfriends wound up cheating on her.

20.  In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

·         Abigail is very humbling, coming back to her low self-esteem. She sees herself beneath everyone she comes to. She often doesn’t see what Dean or Sam sees in her, often being told by the people she helps on jobs on the way those two looked at her. She’s always surprised by what they say, and as always, has to make herself beneath them.

21.  If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

·         She’s the first to take the blame if Dean isn’t around. John and her dad taught her well from the young age that if something fucks up, it’s her fault.

22.  What does your character like in other people?

·         Being a hunter, she sees horrible things on a near daily basis. She admires the naivety and simplicity of life that civilians have; go to work, eat, come home to their family, and start their day over again.

23.  What does your character dislike in other people?

·         At the same time of her admiration of the naivety and simplicity civilian life is, she dislikes it due to knowing the horrors of being a hunter. She knows what to look for when others don’t.

24.  How quick is your character to trust someone else?

·         It’s pretty difficult for her to trust someone with the lifestyle she has. When she does, she trusts them completely.

25.  How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

·         Very easy. It’s her job to suspect people as monsters and things that go bump in the night. She can pick out a liar like it’s a walk in the park.

26.  How does your character behave around children?

·         She’s totally different around children during a hunt. Being a mother, momma bear comes out. Rather than being harsh, demanding, and sometimes a total bitch to adults, she’s tender, patient, and understanding. Not to mention protective.

27.  How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

·         Ready for a knockdown drag-out.

28.  How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

·         In the blink of an eye if someone oversteps their boundaries or if someone/something becomes threatening.

29.  What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

·         Abigail wanted to be a professional equestrian or singer. She got a full ride scholarship from Julliard in New York, but declined it due to the family business.

30.  What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

·         Unexpected gore, like stepping in a pile of guts without noticing it, or putting her hand in a pile of shed skin from a Shapeshifter. She’s a neat freak and germaphobe at times. One thing she can’t stand is a witch.

31.  Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

·         Relaxing with Sam, Dean, and her daughter Megan. It can be anywhere.

32.  Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

·         When there’s potential danger with her daughter around.

33.  In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

·         She’s pretty self-deprecating, but willing to improve on areas that need it.

34.  Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

·         If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

35.  How does your character behave around people they like?

·         Relaxed, humorous, out-going.

36.  How does your character behave around people they dislike?

·         Standoffish, distant, suspicious.

37.  Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

·         Defending her honor. She doesn’t care about where she stands with people.

38.  Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

·         Remove the problem/threat. She’s a hunter and a mother.

39.  Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

·         She’s been bitten, gouged, stabbed, poked, prodded, beaten, and slashed at by different entities that would borderline animals. She gets mended up and moves on.

40.  How does your character treat people in service jobs?

·         You respect her, she’ll respect you.

41.  Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

·         She has to earn it. In her words, you gotta earn it to appreciate it.

42.  Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

·         Yes, Bobby and John.

43.  Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

·         Yes, Sam.

44.  How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

·         It really depends. With Dean, she could say it every day, but she knows how hard it is for him to say it to her, so in turn, it’s said in small quantities. With Sam, it’s a strictly platonic, brother/sister type thing. With Megan, she says it daily, from the time she wakes up till the time she goes to bed.

45.  What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

·         She hasn’t put much thought into what happens after she dies. It’s more a play it by ear, and she’s come to terms with her lifestyle. It’s dangerous and each day is not promised. So in short, no, she’s not scared of her beliefs.